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People Died Today. Sorry About That.

By | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (36)

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Tony Curtis has died at the age of 85 you guys. My condolences to those who like it hot. (Towleroad)

Oh, and Greg Giraldo died too, because God just flat-out likes killing people. (Dlisted)

With The Social Network garnering consistent praise, Armond White has verily stepped up to animadvert it for being a supercilious metaphor for the film industry’s arrogance and derp-a derpitty derp. (Film Drunk)

Cartoons of the 1980s is today’s quiz topic over on LitelySalted. Also, what the fuck is a Popple? (LitelySalted)

Spencer Pratt released the trailer to some shitty movie he made and holy shit I wouldn’t even use the film it was shot on to wipe my dog’s ass. Go fuck a landmine Spencer, you shit-sucking fuckwit. On the plus side, I’m sure Armond White will love this movie. (popbytes)

Now that Sharktopus has been unleashed on the world, where can Syfy go from here? I have two words that have been combined into one word for you: BEARANTULA. Thanks dammitjanet! (i09)

Yeah, so that Britney Spears episode of Glee that ran a couple nights ago? Well, thanks to that episode, everyone at Fox just bought a rocket-yacht made of diamonds. Because that’s how capitalism works or something. (Warming Glow)

Guess how much Justin Bieber makes per concert? No, seriously, guess! Higher… higher… Yeah, he makes $300,000 per concert. There is no God. (Celebslam)

You know what’s not news? The fact that Obama likes Stevie Wonder and Bob Dylan, but he also likes Nas and Lil Wayne. You know what’s also not news, but got posted up as news anyway? OBAMA LIKES GANGSTA RAP OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE SCARY BLACK PEOPLE! (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)

Oh good, HBO is finally getting around to making a show based on Nine Inch Nails’ Year Zero. Well, actually, this would be good news if HBO remembered how to make a decent fucking show. So I guess this isn’t good news after all. (Agent Bedhead)

Joss Whedon has decided that he wants to turn The Avengers into Glengarry GlenRoss. Haha, silly Whedon! There were no kickass chicks with biting sarcasm in Glengarry GlenRoss; how could you possibly think you remake that movie? (Gamma Squad)

So Star magazine decided to interview a girl who fucked The Situation (and they wonder why print media is going down the shitter) and she basically said that the guy isn’t exactly packing. No way, the butterface with four abs he constantly feels the need to show off might not be well endowed? No goddamn way. (Celebitchy)

Thanks to mswas, here’s a helpful guide to trusting people based entirely on what kind of facial hair they have. And yes, the hitler mustache is on the list. If you honestly need a graph to tell you not to trust Hitler, you’re fucked. (I’mJustCreative)

Oh look, Steve Martin “leaked” his “Tour ideas”. Meh, this was funnier, like, two years ago back when it was still topical and relevant. (Buzzfeed)

Normally, this is where a dog video goes, but instead today you get Broken Social Scene’s Anthems For A Seventeen-Year-Old Girl, because it’s that kind of day. Go drink heavily until you forget you’re dead inside.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. Usually he posts dog videos but you don’t get one today, so suck it. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.









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Comments

Popples were evil and terrifyingly so. That's all you need to know.

Posted by: ThunderSacTriumph at September 30, 2010 12:06 PM

Also, Tuesday, Arthur Penn (director of, among other things, Bonnie and Clyde). I was a little surprised not to see anything about that here. But then I forgot to mention it.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at September 30, 2010 12:10 PM

I had a Popples thermos and lunchbox. I was awesome.

Posted by: Courtney at September 30, 2010 12:10 PM

So I did the Litely Salted quiz. I didn't expect to get many, as it's fairly American-centric, but I got Dungeons and Dragons wrong for writing 'and' instead of '&'? Way harsh.

Posted by: Carrie at September 30, 2010 12:10 PM

I decided yesterday that when anyone born after Kurt Cobain died goes to college, I will officially be old.

Popples were the SHIT, Feist.

Posted by: nolalola27 at September 30, 2010 12:11 PM

Um, Popples are awesome. Gawl.

Posted by: Katers at September 30, 2010 12:13 PM

Gloria Stuart, Greg Giraldo, Tony Curtis..,
can we get to th' New Year without any mo' losses?
Greg Giraldo was scating, biting & funny..,
Wherever you are Greg, I hope you've found peace from this crazy planet..,
Say "Hi" to Robert Schimmel for us fans who miss him..,
Both of you,
Make em' laugh in Heaven..,

Posted by: Sly D. at September 30, 2010 12:16 PM

Looking at the basic mechanics of a Popple, I would think gay porn stars would almost be a target market.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at September 30, 2010 12:20 PM

Good thing the blind girl in CITY LIGHTS couldn't see that mustache, then.

Posted by: Pat C at September 30, 2010 12:21 PM

Don't blame Feist for not knowing what a Popple is. I slipped that one in, and I have no goddamn idea what a Popple was, and I was actually alive during that period.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at September 30, 2010 12:25 PM

I love Jer and I love snark, but I would also love to see a real tribute to Tony Curtis somewhere on the site at some point, cause he was kind of a big deal. (I'm sure it's forthcoming. I have faith of godtopussian dimensions).

Posted by: coveredinbees at September 30, 2010 12:25 PM

Feist, I think you should post Broken Social Scene any time you don't have a good video. Or sometimes when you do. Mostly all the time.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 30, 2010 12:36 PM

Moosle was my favorite Popple. Half moose half seal y'all!

Posted by: griffimx at September 30, 2010 12:37 PM

Recently on a plane I was sitting next to a young girl flying alone heading home to see her family. After pestering me for hours about her stupid sponge bob drawings she asks me how old I am and proceeds to tell me that I should shave my face because no 29 year olds have beards and that I look like a hobo.

Posted by: The Monkey Man at September 30, 2010 12:43 PM

$6000. Joss Whedon, you just cost me $6000.

Posted by: Fuck you! That's my name. at September 30, 2010 12:51 PM

nolalola27,
How about this? In a few months it will be 2011 and there will be people born in the 90's that can legally buy alcohol. The 90's!

Whoo! Top of the trustworthy beard line.

Posted by: PaulterA at September 30, 2010 12:53 PM

griffimx, you are thinking of Wuzzles. There was also Butterbear (half bear, half butterfly), and Eleroo (half elephant, half kangaroo), among others. I had Eleroo.

Popples were big and looked like they were always ready for a hug, but instead I would shove their arms and legs against their body and then pull part of their back off and make them into a ball. Sadistic toys if you think about it.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at September 30, 2010 1:06 PM

I had (have, actually) a rock star Popple! She's pink and has crazy poser hair.

I actually felt a little bad when I watched the Bieber gets pelted by water bottle video. Now I want to throw more things at him. Lots more things. Like really heavy, water bottle filled Popples.

So now my comment has symmetry!

Posted by: Caitlin at September 30, 2010 1:14 PM

Sharktopus is a Wuzzle!

Posted by: Kargoyle at September 30, 2010 1:33 PM

"I love you, Spartacus."

Posted by: jon at September 30, 2010 1:51 PM

"Well, actually, this would be good news if HBO remembered how to make a decent fucking show."

**ahem**

Treme, Eastbound & Down, Curb Your Enthusiasm, True Blood, Bored to Death, Band of Brothers, Generation Kill...

You might not like ALL of those shows, but chances are, you like a few of 'em.

Posted by: Seany D at September 30, 2010 2:01 PM

Golly, my disgust for all things Hannah Barbera killed my score. Go figure. I thought most of their crap was produced in the 60s.

Posted by: lubeg at September 30, 2010 2:02 PM

My brother had the soccer ball Popple that wouldn't actually turn into a ball or maintain its shape as a Popple. I spent years trying to figure out just how it was supposed to work. I might still have it in the attic. It haunts me so.

Posted by: Robert at September 30, 2010 2:22 PM

I love BSS and got to see them live at the Grand Ballroom here in San Francisco. They're amazing-amazing live.

Someone set this great song to Ghost World and it turned out pretty awesome, as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho3UzaAG5qQ

Posted by: JapJay at September 30, 2010 2:25 PM

Yeah, just so you guys know: Dustin is usually responsible for deciding which quiz you guys get every day. Oh, look at that train! *Pushes Dustin underneath*

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at September 30, 2010 2:25 PM

BTW- The Greg Giraldo link is wrong, unless he's a beard chart.

Posted by: glittergirl1970 at September 30, 2010 2:29 PM

Good song. "Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me" makes for a good ringtone.

At least, it did about two phones ago...

Posted by: bostonadrianne at September 30, 2010 2:32 PM

For that much coin, you'd think Justine Bieber could get a decent haircut ...

Posted by: , at September 30, 2010 2:38 PM

BEARANTULA.

Nooo! Not before Luscious Tiffany kicks DeBOREah's skinny ass!

Posted by: Rykker at September 30, 2010 3:03 PM

Go drink heavily until you forget you’re dead inside.

It's fuckin' Thursday and I'm trapped in the HellHole again for who knows how many days starting at 5am tomorrow.
I was drinking before your brain worked-out the finger pattern for you to type that missive.

Posted by: Rykker at September 30, 2010 3:18 PM

Hey, I'm white, male, and straight -- I don't need to drink heavily to forget I'm dead inside. I just blink.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at September 30, 2010 5:14 PM

"It's fuckin' Thursday and I'm trapped in the HellHole again for who knows how many days starting at 5am tomorrow.
I was drinking before your brain worked-out the finger pattern for you to type that missive."

@rykker:

It's fuckin' Thursday, and I have to segue straight from gruelling week of school, one that has no right to be this busy so early in the semester, to apex weekend of peak season in my job. Being the sensible dude that i am, I saved up the whole weeks beer for today, electing to school with a clear head, and charge into the work breech hungover(which is ironic as i am a bouncer). I get to spend the next several days in a rural beer tent turfing drunks, stepping into fights, and generally trying to impress upon folks who never see police that there is indeed law(outside of 'we'll take you out back and fix you up'). who wouldn't get shitfaced before facing that.

I love god because he provided a nectar to help us forget we are dead inside. and i was deep in the beer before i found that missive.

Happy trails!

Posted by: idleprimate at September 30, 2010 6:08 PM

1. Armond White has verily stepped up to animadvert it for being a supercilious metaphor for the film industry’s arrogance and derp-a derpitty derp.

*giggle*

2. WE HAVE A POPPLE. No, for reals. My mother-in-law found it in her house from like 20 years ago and MrFig kept it. Mostly, he throws it at me.

3. He also has a Full Beard. THEY ARE NOT ALL THAT TRUSTWORTHY.

Posted by: figgy at September 30, 2010 6:08 PM

yay, i have a moustache and goatee and am near the trustworthy end of that list. i can use that advantage to corrupt the innocent into watching good anime!

Posted by: idleprimate at September 30, 2010 8:22 PM

While i agree that Bearantula would be pretty fucking sweet, i'd like to submit the drunken creation i concocted while watching Sharktopus - Roboceratops.

Posted by: courtcourt at September 30, 2010 10:13 PM

I didn't realize Steve Martin had a window of relevancy. Some of us would see him live any time.

I still don't like most of what you say, but I forgive you for posting my favorite BSS song.

Posted by: wonderbreadhead at September 30, 2010 10:53 PM