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Right, Like the Guy in the $3,000 Suit Will Escape on Anything Else. COME ON!

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | July 28, 2010 | Comments ()

By Miscellaneous | Pajiba Love | July 28, 2010 |


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So Justin "Oh look, it's a 12-year-old lesbian" Bieber got swarmed by a bunch of tween girls, and wisely decided to escape using ... a fucking Segway. Yup. Either this is the most hilariously subtle Arrested Development reference ever, or Justin Bieber is an even bigger dumbass than his dumbass fans. (popbytes)

Did you know today is national Barbie-in-a-Blender Day? Well it is. So feel free to stick the little plastic bitch in and frappe that shit. Frappe it hard. (Agent Bedhead)

You know what? Fuck it. If you're going to let kids from The Jersey Shore open the New York Stock Exchange, then we deserve to be in a recession. (Evil Beet)

Here's a list of 9 harmless things that can age you. I can live with getting more sleep, but so help me God if you try to take away my sugar I will punch you in the taint until you cough blood. (Zelda Lily)

I totally haven't seen Inception yet, mostly because it's hard to do just about anything when you're simultaneously moving and trying to set up your own site, but if anyone can understand what this infographic of the plot means, congratulations: You win at life. (Unreality)

Here are 10 movie schmucks that will ruin your dinner. While I would totally have dinner with Ron Burgundy, chances are I probably wouldn't be able to be in the same room as Napoleon Dynamite without playing a rousing game of "Hide the broken beer bottle". (Screen Junkies)

You know that *BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHM* sound from Inception that you've had stuck in your head for pretty much ever at this point? That might actually just be an Edith Piaf song slowed down. Who knew? (Film Drunk)

So after being on the air for however many years, Tom Welling is finally going to be wearing the actual Superman suit in Smallville. I have a friend who loves this show (why he does is beyond me) and when he heard the news, hand to God, he had a screaming orgasm. I have the now-ruined towels to prove it. (The Flickcast)

The A.V. Club examines fictional couples doomed to break up. Interesting side-note: The original ending of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind involved Joel and Clementine breaking up, wiping their memories and getting back together again in an infinite loop for the rest of their lives. Can you tell this is my favourite movie EVER?! (A.V. Club)

(Dustin actually wrote a very similar piece two years ago, "What Really Happened to Lloyd Dobler?")

Here are the 30 most unwashed celebs. I'm not sure if Kesha/Ke$ha/What the fuck ever has ever even seen a shower, but God help me, I could wade ankle deep in the grime on her forehead alone. (BWE)

Ever wanted to know what the David after Dentist kid would look like in a couple years? Well, here's some heavily sedated guy yelling about pancakes and Meg Ryan.


Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin', and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his sorta-NSFW blog here, or email him here.



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