Pajiba Love 27/08/10

Personally, I'm A Fan Of The Reverse Light Cycle

By Jeremy Feist | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (32)

Thanks to branded, are you or someone you know a hopeless nerd stuck fucking in the missionary position? Well, thanks to the Tron-a-Sutra, your sex life will never be boring again. Just remember to play safe: Use a firewall. (WonderHowTo)

Congrats go out to Dan Carlson for kicking ass in The Coen Brothers Quiz yesterday (did you expect anyone else?) and now it’s time for a Friends quiz! Yeah, I got 4/15. That’s what I get for never watching Friends. (Litely Salted)

Here are the 12 best Mystery Science Theater 3000 guest stars (Sha-la-la!) I was totally going into this like “Torgo better be number one,” and then he totally was and I felt delightfully nerdy (Sha-la-la!) (Topless Robot)

Here are 10 directors that seriously need to call it quits. Well of course M. Night Shyamalan is on the list (how could he NOT be?) but Rob Reiner? Is that guy still even making movies? (Screen Junkies)

Robert Downey Jr. and Alfonso Cuaron are teaming up for a new movie called Gravity, which is a tiny bit ironic because I know RDJ makes a lot of us go up instead of down. (The Flickcast)

Us Weekly decided to spread a rumour about how Naya Rivers (Santana from Glee) keyed and poured dog food all over Mark Salling’s (that would be Puck) Lexus. Only problem? He doesn’t have a Lexus and it never happened. Whoops. (popbytes)

Because it’s not enough to just play a bunch of awkward teenagers trying to make sense of their love lives, he will now be producing a show about an awkward teenager trying to make sense of his love life. (Cinematical)

HA! The Jersey Shore guys got hit with a pro-gay bumper sticker on their Escalade and they got all pissy about it. Oh whatever, go GTL or something. See if I give a shit. (Towleroad)

Ever wondered what exactly the hell was up with the buttons on Playstation controllers? Well, here are the answers. Say what you will, it still makes more sense than that fucking Move thing they’re coming out with. (Unreality)

Take this as a lesson, kids; nothing sells a movie like an upskirt shot! Machete? More like VADGE-ete! That’s right, I went there. (Celebitchy)

And in other Machete news, Lindsay Lohan’s role as a badass nun is getting some pretty positive reviews… from her cast mates. Which is sort of like those trophies they used to give out for “participation”. I won a lot of those trophies. (Agent Bedhead)

Oh look, Tila Tequila is still wearing bandaids for the cuts she got two weeks ago. Seriously; I got sliced open and even I didn’t have to wear bandages for the fucking long. Boo-goddamn-hoo. (Celebslam)

Here are the best F-bomb songs of all time. Great, now I’m gonna have Fuck The Pain Away stuck in my head all day… Suckin’ on my titties like you wantin’ me callin’ me… (Buzzfeed)

How’s this for embarrassment: One of the guys who got arrested as part of a terrorism investigation, tried out for Canadian Idol and failed miserably. Bonus: He sang Avril Lavigne’s Complicated. Oooooooo… (Dlisted)

It’s Genny’s aka Intern Rusty’s birthday today, and because I can, let’s all go read her Cannonball Read review of Many Waters. (Rusty’s Ventures)

And now, let’s take a strange and wondrous trip into the deepest recesses of jM’s subconscious…

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.

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Comments

My employer blocks the video. Is it sufficient to say there is a panda involved and it is not a happy panda?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 27, 2010 12:04 PM

13/15 on the Friends quiz. Damn you, Charlie Sheen. Damn you to HELL. The only other one I missed was some damn sitcom that I had no idea even existed. Hmmph.

OMG that video. Hee. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeheeeeeheeeeheeeeeeeeeeee.... Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeee*breaks*

Posted by: figgy at August 27, 2010 12:14 PM

Aaand now I'll be going around my house singing "HIDE YOUR KIDS! HIDE YOUR WIVES! HIDE YOUR KIDS! HIDE YOUR WIVES!" nonstop until the toaster kills me.

Posted by: figgy at August 27, 2010 12:20 PM

I spelled The Remembrandts wrong. DAMN IT!

Mmm, Tron porn. I never knew that position was called The Victory. I thought it was called JESUS CHRIST My Thighs Only Stretch So Far!

Posted by: Julie at August 27, 2010 12:21 PM

I sense a nerdgasm coming...

Posted by: Xtreme at August 27, 2010 12:25 PM

Mrs. Julien: The panda is very happy.

Posted by: BWeaves at August 27, 2010 12:26 PM

I'm seriously beginning to question branded's moral turpitude. I expect this kind of thing from Jeremy, but I'm really taken aback by such depravity, branded.

Posted by: admin at August 27, 2010 12:27 PM

Phew.

And how disappointing for jM.

Posted by: Mrs. Skipper at August 27, 2010 12:33 PM

are you or someone you know a hopeless nerd stuck fucking in the missionary position?

Nerds having sex?

DOES.NOT.COMPUTE. ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! SYSTEMS CRASHING!

Posted by: Fredo at August 27, 2010 12:43 PM

I love The Gregory Brothers' stuff. The Obama Kick Some Ass song is great. Listing the experts... awesome. Youtube 'auto tune the news' if you have no idea what I'm talking about, which would be weird but anyway.

Posted by: ben at August 27, 2010 12:47 PM

"Just hold on a second, baby, don't mov...aaaahhhhhooohhhh... end of line."

I expect this kind of thing from Jeremy, but I'm really taken aback by such depravity, branded.

So you're saying it's as if you were piledriven by the depravity, my hockey-loving friend? But there will be no smirching of my turpitude, at least without buying me drinks first.

I challenge you. Jousting on mooseback. By the shores of Maple Syrup Lake. At dawn.

Posted by: branded at August 27, 2010 12:50 PM

I demand credit for posting that video for jM!

Posted by: feramones at August 27, 2010 12:57 PM

I challenge you. Jousting on mooseback. By the shores of Maple Syrup Lake. At dawn.

Challenge accepted. To show just how confident I am in my inevitable victory I shall be clad in naught but snowshoes. Have at you!

Posted by: admin at August 27, 2010 1:12 PM

re: Turpitude. I do not think it means what you think it means. I'm pretty sure y'all are using it incorrectly.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 27, 2010 1:27 PM

Now I just reread everything and I'm more confused.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 27, 2010 1:29 PM

You posted that Tron bit and the panda clip on the same day? There's gonna be some sore pandas out there, that's all I'm sayin'.

Posted by: mrcreosote at August 27, 2010 1:40 PM

Mrs Julien, I'm sure we are using it correctly which makes it that much more disturbing. Also, I'm naked on a moose with a buttery topping.

Posted by: admin at August 27, 2010 1:40 PM

I shall be clad in naught but snowshoes.

This is what is sounds like... when polar bears cry.

Now I just reread everything and I'm more confused.

Damnable "words" and their "proper meanings", Mrs. Julien! I'll not have admin taint my basenesslessness!

Posted by: branded at August 27, 2010 1:42 PM

EVERYONE OUT! I... I need some alone time with the video. Do those Tron suits come in panda sizes?

Posted by: jM at August 27, 2010 1:44 PM

But admin, are you holding two tickets to that think I love?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at August 27, 2010 2:11 PM

Hello, jM. Look at your panda, now back to me, now back at your panda, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped eating plants like a wuss and switched to salmon, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a basement with the bear your bear could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two silk scarves for that cage you love. Look again, the scarves are now massage oil. Anything is possible when your bear smells like old salmon and not a wuss who can't procreate. I’m eating a horse.”

Posted by: Grizzly S. Bear at August 27, 2010 2:30 PM

Grizzly S. Bear - thank you for that. Really, so very awesome.

Posted by: tamatha at August 27, 2010 3:14 PM

I call bullshit on that Friends quiz - I want one about show-related stuff, not the lore and fun facts surrounding the cast or shit they did before the show even started.

I'm just bitter I got 13/15 when I still consistently watch that thing on reruns.

Posted by: whatBENwatches at August 27, 2010 3:30 PM

11/15 and I COMPLETELY blanked on the Jennifer Grey and Jon Cryer questions. Crumbled under pressure sad to say.

Posted by: TylerDFC at August 27, 2010 3:59 PM

Grizzly S. Bear, meet me behind the middle school. I'm about to save your species... SO HARD.

Posted by: jM at August 27, 2010 4:53 PM

Swan dive . . . into the best fur of your life.

Posted by: Grizzly S. Bear at August 27, 2010 5:04 PM

Haha. Turpitude. That's only the second time I've heard that word used. The first was, of course, Kim Kattral's dirty underpants sniffing, dog-howling, screwing in the locker room PE teacher from Porky's. "Moral turpitude..."

What were y'all saying?

Posted by: EJ at August 27, 2010 9:34 PM

MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT in the fuck song list. It doesn't include Harry Nilsson:

You're breakin' my heart
You're tearin'it apart, so
FUCK YOU!

So, Buzzfeed: Fuck YOU!

Posted by: , at August 28, 2010 1:20 AM

Hey, comma, I posted about that cool Nilsson song, like, 3 days ago. You stealing from a fellow Pajiban? I hope you have a ton'o'cash, because I'm suing, I tells ya! Here's the proof:

Way back in 1972, Harry Nillson released a song called "You're Breaking My Heart", which was a great breakup song. It also happened to repeatedly use the 2 heretofore unheard-of-in-commercial-music (by me, at any rate) words "Fuck you". If you only know Nilsson from "Everybody's Talking" from Midnight Cowboy, that's not remotely his best. He was a great and funny writer, and had a great voice. I guess you can tell I liked him a lot (he died in 1994), not to mention that I'm pretty old. Anyway, if you're interested in more sung "Fuck you"s, check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02lXLiFsRtE&feature=related

Posted by: Uriah Creep at August 24, 2010 10:42 PM

Posted by: Uriah Creep at August 28, 2010 6:17 AM

I hope you have a ton'o'cash, because I'm suing
---
You can jump into the fire. *wink*

Posted by: , at August 28, 2010 9:19 PM

You can jump into the fire. *wink*

Posted by: , at August 28, 2010 9:19 PM

First it was Boobs A Lot and now these 2 Nillson gems. Sounds to me like you have some righteous musical tastes.

I'd rather be dead
Than wet my bed.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at August 28, 2010 10:38 PM

"You can climb the mountain...
you can swim the sea...
you can jump into the fire...
but you'll never be free, no, no, no..."

Posted by: Green Lantern at August 29, 2010 7:32 AM

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Personally, I'm A Fan Of The Reverse Light Cycle

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