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Anyone Up For A Very Joel McHale Christmas?!

By | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (29)

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OH HOLY SHIT YES. Community is planning on doing a claymation Christmas episode this season, in the vein of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. Oh my God yes, I’m so excited I just peed myself a little. Did you know there’s only 92 days until Christmas? Eeeeeeee! (The Flickcast)

Rumors are going around that if Studio Ghilbli’s next film doesn’t perform at the box office, the entire studio could be going down. So for the record here: Kevin James’ fat-people MMA film will probably rake in $100 Million domestic, while Spirited Away barely made $10 Million. Fuck all of you. (Cinematical)

I know most of you are still hurting after that clip of Katy Perry on Sesame Street, so to make it up to all of us, they decided to do a spoof of True Blood called True Mud to teach us all about things that rhyme. Sadly, there’s not naked Alexander Skarsgard, but it’s still pretty entertaining. (Screen Junkies)

Alright guys, here’s a quiz on elementary science. I got 13 out of 21 on this one, and if you score any lower people will point and laugh at you forever. (Litely Salted)

Bad news you guys: You can all forget about a Stewart/Colbert ‘12 ticket because Jon Stewart said it’s never going to happen. Fuck. Oh well, as long as Anti-Masturbation Barbie never makes it to the oval office, I think I’ll live. (popbytes)

I know lolcats are forever banned from Pajiba or else Dustin will beat me (it’s in my contract. Look it up), but there’s nothing about Marvel Cats, which are basically cute little cartoon cats, right? Right. (Topless Robot)

I know I’m pretty hard on Facebook here over their privacy policy, as well as the fact that Mark Zuckerberg is, well, a gigantic douche, but here’s a new reason to hate Facebook: There’s now a site where people can upload pictures of hot girls they find on Facebook without their permission. I know uploading pictures to Facebook isn’t the safest bet in the world, but still, what the fucking fuck? (Zelda Lily)

Joaquin Phoenix finally got to sitdown again with David Letterman to explain what in the name of sweet baby fuck was going on the last time he popped his bearded ass in there. Long story short, it was kinda boring and nothing crazy happened. Awwww man… (Evil Beet)

Holy shit you guys, juice boxes are turning us all gay! GAAAAAY! I never got a fucking juice box when I was a kid. Mom would just fill a plastic bottle with juice and boot us out the door, and I turned out straight as an arrow. (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)

A propos of nothing, here’s a picture of Nathan Fillion holding a replica of the sniper rifle from Halo. I’ve honestly never played a single Halo game because fuck you and fuck your space marines, but Nathan Fillion can hold my sniper rifle any day… The sniper rifle is my penis. (Unreality)

So as it turns out, all you need to rid your home of demons is a crayon drawing of a cross on a blank piece of paper. Really. Hey, does anybody else wonder why demonic possessions only happen to mentally unstable fundamentalists? (FourFour)

Another day, another celebrity who probably cheated on his wife and is now having his sext messages leaked onto the internet by his whore. Gosh, is it Thursday already? (Yeeeah!)

Since I know a good portion of you are OCD (don’t deny it), here’s a tumblr devoted to things organized in a neat and tidy manor. (ThingsOrganizedNeatly)

Oh come the fuck on, Keanu Reeves. How can you possibly be sad while eating a cupcake? What is so goddamn wrong in your life that you can look this goddamn miserably while eating a cupcake? THIS MAKES NO SENSE GRAAAAH MY BRAIN JUST EXPLODED! (Dlisted)

Today’s moment of zen comes from a very happy Boxer who loves nothing more than to slide down the stairs. We actually used to do the same thing, only we used a laundry basket. Point is, TONS of fun.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.









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Comments

Community is planning on doing a claymation Christmas episode this season, in the vein of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Sunny in Philly already did it last year. (I'm sure it's been done before them as well.)

Posted by: PaulterA at September 23, 2010 12:04 PM

There is no cupcake.

Posted by: mswas at September 23, 2010 12:14 PM

@PaulterA... SIMPSONS DID IT.

Posted by: coveredinbees at September 23, 2010 12:22 PM

Wait, some idiot cheerleader sorority type posts a picture of herself on Facebook and a stranger uploads it on another part of Facebook and she's a victim? Of what exactly? Extreme unmerited narcissism? If you're going to put pictures of yourself in a state of undress on the Internet, you don't get to complain because some guy finds the picture and calls you hot. It's THE INTERNET.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 23, 2010 12:41 PM

a tumblr devoted to things organized in a neat and tidy manor

I was hoping to see some serfs standing according to height or something. Misleading.

Posted by: 2HB at September 23, 2010 12:56 PM

Dude, what kind of fucked up country do we live in where something as amazing as Studio Ghibli doesn't have a market?

Posted by: Royalewithcheese at September 23, 2010 12:58 PM

What do the kids these days not understand about the difference between "public" and "private"?

Public = stuff that anyone besides you or your doctor knows about

Private = stuff only you (and maybe your doctor) know about

Pictures on any website are public. "Privacy settings" aren't an impregnable force field.

Here's something that will scare the shit out of you if you're confused by this concept: anybody can take a picture of you in public and then take it home with them and do anything they want with it. In fact, it's probably already happened. Some perv took a picture of you eating a hot dog or a popsicle or a lollipop and then took it home and masturbated furiously to it all night long.

Posted by: Slash at September 23, 2010 1:02 PM

I agree with PaddyDog.
Also, where the fuck is the Pajiba love for Steve Wiebe becoming the King of Kong again motherfuckers????
That news just made my day!!!
That despicable toolbag Brian Mitchell will probably be back again tho, like all of the best cinematic villians.

Posted by: supafly at September 23, 2010 1:06 PM

Really, supafly, I don't think these kids have a clue what Donkey Kong is, much less who the Masters of the game are.

Posted by: Rykker at September 23, 2010 1:11 PM

Some perv took a picture of you eating a hot dog or a popsicle or a lollipop and then took it home and masturbated furiously to it all night long.

Hey! What I do with my hot dog pictures is priv- Oh.

Posted by: PaulterA at September 23, 2010 1:11 PM

Protest! I got 17/21 on that quiz but apparently it didn't like one of my correct answers that was typed exactly like the correct answer! That quiz must be Canadianist!

Posted by: admin at September 23, 2010 1:14 PM

"The sniper rifle is my penis."

Bringing new meaning to the term "banana clip". And "firing pin". And "muzzle flash". Also, "hand cannon", "breechloader", and...

God damn it, Jeremy just made guns really really gay...

Posted by: D-Day at September 23, 2010 1:39 PM

admin: like on the disney villains quiz about the Queen of Hearts favorite method of execution. I answered "decapitation" and the answer was "beheading". D'oh!

Posted by: TylerDFC at September 23, 2010 1:39 PM

That Studio Ghilbli article is strange. I think some information is missing from their decision. I had the same conclusion as the writer. Why does it matter their performance in the US? They are smashes worldwide across the board. Not to mention, they don't tend to get wide releases in the US and have never grossed all that much here. Something doesn't add up.

Posted by: TylerDFC at September 23, 2010 1:44 PM

Studio Ghilbli might have to shut down?!

*hair ruffles in anger, Miyazaki style*

I won't let that happen.

Posted by: Lauren at September 23, 2010 1:47 PM

I feel so very sorry for people who live in a world where every bad dream, every shadow, every oddly exposed photograph is proof of demonic possession. I worked with a lady once, long ago, who was concerned that her son (I believe he was in his early teens at the time) was possessed strictly based on a photo where he had a nasty case of red eye and he must have been caught mid-sneeze or something because his face was unusually contorted. I don't know what she ever did about it though. Another time she was concerned that her 6 year old daughter was being stalked by Satan because the daughter had a really bad nightmare and reported seeing a shadowy figure in her room. Of course my first thought was sleep paralysis. I have suffered with that most of my life and yet not one time have I ever assumed the shadowy figure in my room was the devil. I always thought (as a kid) that it was my mom checking on me while I slept. It saddens me, the difference in world-views between us to have such a vastly different reaction to similar events.

Posted by: elsie at September 23, 2010 1:49 PM

RE PaulterA: "Hey! What I do with my hot dog pictures is priv- Oh."

As long as you don't put them up on a website, they can be. What happens to them after you die, however ... You'll be dead anyway, you won't care.

Posted by: Slash at September 23, 2010 1:49 PM

elsie:

On the flip side of demonic possession, I grew up in a place where people were always seeing manifestations of the Virgin Mary wherever they looked (walls, waterfalls, innocuous pieces of rubble). In the mid-1980s, we actually went through an epidemic of weeping virgin statues. People would literally flock to this small town near where I lived to stare and pray at a statue that they swore they could see weeping real tears. It was useless to suggest that a porous statue placed outside in a country where there is precipitation about 350 days of the year might actually just be exuding excess moisture on the dryer days (these occurrences always happened in the summer time).

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 23, 2010 2:00 PM

Some perv took a picture of you eating a hot dog or a popsicle or a lollipop and then took it home and masturbated furiously to it all night long.
Posted by: Slash at September 23, 2010 1:02 PM

Or, perhaps, a cupcake?

Posted by: Odnon. at September 23, 2010 2:11 PM

Sesame Street apparently caught a lot of crap for Katy Perry's Slutty McSlutterstein outfit, so they decided not to air it

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5h-jtcZpW-uV7eNS8HAVLvSBx17IwD9IDN2L02

Posted by: Even Stevens at September 23, 2010 3:18 PM

Did anyone else think they should replace Anna Paquin with the blonde waitress muppett? She's by far a netter actor as far as I could see.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 23, 2010 3:30 PM

texting each other suggestive things like, “what are u wearing now?”

Wait THAT is Sexting? Holy Crap, people ask me that in chats all the time... I just assumed they were fashion-curios. I feel so ASHAMED!

I find it amusing that a woman who thinks that scribbling a symbol on paper can repel demons is so condescending about the burning of Tarragon. At least the Tarragon is edible and smells nice. can you say that about your pretty drawing? I think NOT. And MAN that is some first rate actressin' in that video.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 23, 2010 4:55 PM

Eh, Community. That 70s Show did it first. And I don't like either of those shows, so I don't care, really.

Posted by: figgy at September 23, 2010 5:25 PM

No, we are not OCD, we are OCPD. P. As in personality disorder. OCD IS NOT RIGHT.

...

Oh, heh.

Posted by: Cadet at September 23, 2010 5:32 PM

Again, gotta agree with Paddy Dog and Slash-beware what ye may poste on ye old internet lest you be the subject of much hand pulling and/or rubbing and O-face.

It's for those exact reasons I shut down my Facebook page-I found pictures of myself on a "friend's" page taken from a long ago staff party that, needless to say, weren't flattering. Nothing racy or anything, just, you know...not pretty. I was so pissed at seeing it, I shut the whole caboodle down.

And speaking of demons-Dustin, can we have a comment diversion devoted to personal ghost stories since Fall has officially arrived? I LOVE reading that shit.

Sorry for going off topic; carry on, folks!

Posted by: kootenay girl at September 23, 2010 5:43 PM

Also, where the fuck is the Pajiba love for Steve Wiebe becoming the King of Kong again motherfuckers????
Seriously. King of Kong is pretty much my favorite film ever, and the news that Wiebe is back on top totally made my day yesterday. You keep sticking it to that hot-sauce peddling weirdo, Steve.

The fact that it's not on Pajiba Love is yet another reason to hate J. Feist.

Posted by: mangrilla at September 23, 2010 6:21 PM

Such a dick.

Posted by: superasente at September 23, 2010 7:28 PM

That's the trouble with exercising your sexual power without thought 'aforehand, ladies - especially those of you getting into it at an early age:

At first it's all - OMG! I'm so hot! Why not share this fine ass self with the world? Then, OMG! They totally LOVE it! They love ME! I'm so awesome!

Yup. Then it's all about..."more! I need more from you!"

Oh - how's a bout this really cool pic of me reading this great book I found, this one about how we are empowered the more we communicate from a place of truth? I look smart AND hot!

Uh, nope. Where them fine ass tittays! Wooot! Lemmie see your ass!

um, there's more to me than that! OMG, I'm WAY cooler than just my looks, I am educated, I volunteer, I...

WTF-EVER you c*cktease!!! Show me yer bewbs!!!

etc.
That's when you feel REAL powerful, right?
Master of Wankers. Golf claps!

Posted by: replica at September 23, 2010 11:49 PM

Sadly, that pic of Fillion (gorgeous though it is) is at least a year old. The info's wrong on the site - that pic was taken when he was recording his lines for Halo 3: ODST, not Halo: Reach.

How do I know this? a) Because I'm a ginormous geek, and b) because he recorded the lines at Bungie Studios just up the road and WAS RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE BUILDING WHERE I WORK AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT AT THE TIME.;__; I missed my prime opportunity to stalk Nathan Fillion.

No, I'm not bitter at all. Now escuse me while I shut off all the lights in my room and weep into a bottle of Jagermeister.

Posted by: luthien26 at September 24, 2010 11:00 AM