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WATCH ME F*CK!!!

By | Pajiba Love | August 23, 2010 | Comments ()


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I bet I know what you all want: A Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt sex tape! Really? You would rather I come to your house and punch every member of your family in the taint than see that? Well, too bad, because Spencer's trying to sell it to Vivid Video. It'll be 15 seconds of sex followed by half an hour of Spencer crying. (Celebitchy)

And just because I can, here's our own Courtney Enlow's take on the whole thing. Fun fact: do you know that, thanks to USC 2257, a sex tape (professional or otherwise) can't be released commercially unless those appearing in the tape provide government-administered ID to the company and sign a release form? So yeah, keep that in mind next time someone complains about their "leaked" sex tape. (Hobo Trashcan)

Here are the best fake porn flicks from real movies. Yes, Star Whores is on the list. And yes, people who actually did watch The Big Lebowski, so is Logjammin'. Goddammit, I will watch The Big Lebowski when I am good and ready! STOP PUSHING ME! (Screen Junkies)

Here's Allie Brosh's step-by-step guide to establishing work place dominance. Fun fact: Whenever I get on set, I like to bite the biggest person there on the back of the neck in order to establish myself as the leader. Works. Every. Time. (The Gloss)

Just because it made laugh hysterically, check out the abridged version of the script for Inception. There are some Spoilers, but for the most part it's totally worth it for the joke about Ellen Page folding the entire city like a taco. (The Editing Room)

I've been avoiding the whole Ground Zero Mosque debate for a while now, but this Facebook debate on the subject is actually pretty interesting. And for the record, saying that the people who hijacked the planes on 9/11 are Muslim is like saying that Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church are Christian. Extremism is not religion. (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)

Oh look, Joe Francis is threatening to sue the makers of Piranha 3D, as well as Jerry O'Connell, because the character he plays in the movie is loosely based on Francis. Uh-oh, somebody call Whine-One-One, because Joey needs a WHAAAAAAmbulance! (popbytes)

This just in: Billy Idol is still Grade-A Fuck Material. Seriously, Billy Idol was one of my first crushes growing up and so God help me the man has gotten better with age. (Agent Bedhead)

True Blood fans, get ready to have an orgasm: Sookie and Bill got married. Like, MARRIED married, for real real, not for play play. (Dlisted)

Here 10 Alternate Endings to popular movies. Is it still a SPOILER ALERT if it never happened? Well, I guess SPOILER ALERT to anybody in a fifth dimension where all of these ending actually happened. (Unreality)

Good news, everyone! Science no longer considers sex, spending time in the sun, and friends and family to be vices! Which is great, because I was really starting to get tired of being a pasty little virgin troll. Thanks Science! (Zelda Lily)

It's no secret that one of my favourite foods ever are spaghetti sandwiches, which would probably explain why this Meatball Calzone makes me feel all tingly inside. (Godtopus Eats)

New screens for Dead Rising 2 are out and ah goddammit, they might be saddling you with a little girl you have to protect. Because that worked so well in Resident Evil 4, didn't it? (The Flickcast)

Hey, remember how Tila Tequila's face was "gushing blood" after she got attacked at The Gathering of the Juggaloes? Yeah, as it turns out that may have been a lie. Just like her pregnancy. And her miscarriage. And her other pregnancy. And her engagement. And her suicide attempt. And ... You get the idea. (Celebslam)

Holy shit, someone actually found an alligator wandering around the streets of New York City and it may in fact have come from the sewer. EVERYBODY PANIC! (Towleroad)

Hey, do you like TMZ, but wish that you could spend every waking hour invading people's privacy to the point of inflicting severe psychological issues? Now you can, with the Lil' TMZ Playset!


It's the Lil' TMZ Playset! -- powered by Cracked.com

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin', and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.



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