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F*cking Clowns, Man. F*cking Clowns.

By | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (26)

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Remember that fake trailer for the fake movie, Clown, that Eli Roth was pimping out? He might be turning that into a real movie. Do you think we can run it as a double feature alongside the gritty Pokemon reboot? (Film Drunk)

Here’s a look at ten of the greatest movie assholes in film. Oh sweet-baby-fuck-sauce, Bill Lumbergh is the reason I vowed never to have an office job. If I had to hear that smarmy asshole every day, I would have set the damn office on fire too. (I-Mockery)

Conan O’Brien has set up a web page to help one of his production assistants, Chris Ultimo, get on Jersey Shore. What, did this Chris guy shoot the masturbating bear then use his pelt as a rug or something? Harsh Conan. Harsh. (Agent Bedhead)

As if you needed any further proof that Justin Bieber is going to grow up to be a gigantic douchewad, the kid decided during dinner to randomly rip off his shirt and flash everyone his abs. When are teenagers going to learn that absolutely no one wants to see their bodies? (popbytes)

Here are 9 unintentionally horrifying kids shows. You mean they aren’t all terrifying? Have you seen the Teletubbies? The sun is a baby they set on fire! (Asylum)

The Onion News Network is jumping from the internet to IFC this January, and the trailer is pretty decent. Although to be honest, I did sort of think it might actually be Fox News at first. What? the anchor was blonde! That’s just misleading. (Warming Glow)

Sure, the midterm elections are over and the walking, racist punchline known as Sharron Angle didn’t even win a shit sandwich, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still make fun of her for this hilariously stupid ad! (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)

Tom Hardy’s fiancee is apparently jealous of his chemistry with Reese Witherspoon on the set of their new movie, which is gonna make things really awkward when I eventually steal him. It’s a work in progress people. Don’t pretend it won’t happen. (Celebitchy)

Alright nerds, prepare to throw on your happy pants: Scientists have managed to 38 atoms of anti-matter, which brings us all one step closer to either a huge energy boon or the end of existence. I think that’s how science works, right? (Gamma Squad)

I know he acts in terrible movies, but I swear to God, these pictures of Kellan Lutz literally just made me go “GUH” out loud then drool a little bit. Move over, Channing Tatum, you are no longer my shitty movie crush-object. (Towleroad)

And now, your daily dose of Schadenfreudian glee courtesy of painting over graffiti for community service. Now with the added bonus of her possibly pissing off a violent street gang. YEE! (Celebslam)

Here’s another installment of insane photos you won’t believe aren’t photoshopped. Anybody for a Pajibacon at that hotel with the giant-ass water column? (Cracked)

I know a lot of you love Angry Birds like you love oxygen and your own grandmother, so here’s an adorably profane live-action peace treaty between the pigs and the birds that ends exactly the way you would think.









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Comments

When are teenagers going to learn that absolutely no one wants to see their bodies?

...says the teenage porn star?

Posted by: Rykker at November 22, 2010 12:05 PM

Is it just me or does it look like Buddy Revell might be Channing Tatum's daddy? Anyone else?

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at November 22, 2010 12:06 PM

Here’s a look at ten of the greatest movie assholes in film.

You can imagine my concern, coming from Jeremy...

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 22, 2010 12:11 PM

That Angry Birds clip is from the highest rated show here in Israel. They translated it from Hebrew.
The original is just as profane. Apparently, that's how we like our TV here.

Posted by: Hadar at November 22, 2010 12:17 PM

And oh my word, that Angry Birds video is amazing.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 22, 2010 12:18 PM

"When are teenagers going to learn that absolutely no one wants to see their bodies?"

Aren't you nineteen or so?

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 22, 2010 12:19 PM

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Giant FUCKING FISH on that Cracked article. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Posted by: figgy at November 22, 2010 12:19 PM

Who's the clown-phobe again? That header pic is made of mewling kittens and suppressed rage.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 22, 2010 12:22 PM

I fucking hate clowns but that one's mostly in shadow so I don't mind it as much as the GIANT FUCKING FISH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Posted by: figgy at November 22, 2010 12:27 PM

Note to self: Do not click on link to Cracked article. Remember Moby Dick poster, shudder and move on.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 22, 2010 12:30 PM

Re Tom Hardy:

He has a fiancee?? Damn.

Also, I hear he swings both ways, so you might have a chance, Jeremy.

Posted by: MM at November 22, 2010 12:47 PM

If you want to get the image of that giant goldfish out of your head, have a gander at a coconut crab.

Posted by: Rykker at November 22, 2010 12:47 PM

Oh, good. I'm not the only regular around these parts that is horrified by gigantic live fish. Did you have a horribly scarring childhood event with a nasty algae fish flopping out of the tank and crawling into your shoes, too, Figgy?

Posted by: Robert at November 22, 2010 1:09 PM

My last comment got held up for inspection.
Have I offended? Have I been hacked?
Are we all on guard now and paranoind in light of recent flamey events?

I will try again. Bunnies. Eating carrots. And frolicking. That's gotta be safe.

Posted by: Odnon. at November 22, 2010 1:34 PM

Ok, that went through all right.
So, the point of the first post was that I could deal with the giant fish.
Even the giant crab.
But that dude's head sent me screaming into the night.
And it's still daytime.

Posted by: Odnon. at November 22, 2010 1:35 PM

Gaah, Robert. But no, I just lived close to the ocean my entire life and was a very imaginative child. I don't know why but those things just give me the jeebies. And I'm perfectly fine with sharks or whales, but those completely harmless gigantic things? Holy hell they scare me. They just look so...so weird.

Rykker: that crab doesn't faze me. In fact it just makes me think that it'd make one hell of a crab soup. Mmmm.

Posted by: figgy at November 22, 2010 1:39 PM

I've wanted a coconut crab as a pet for a few years now. Giant mutated Hermit Crabs. What's not to like?

With a grip that could sever a broom handle, as well as tree-climbing stealth abilities.

The dudes crack open coconuts. Imagine what they could do to your scull.

Posted by: Some Guy at November 22, 2010 1:44 PM

*skull (must having rowing on the mind)

Posted by: Some Guy at November 22, 2010 1:45 PM

The gigantic fish was nothing. Did you scroll down and see the guy who's missing half his head?

RE Clowns: There was an article on CNN.com a couple of days ago about an old lady who was robbed by a clown while on the toilet. I think this has just replaced the Psycho shower scene as my worst bathroom fear.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 22, 2010 1:48 PM

I have the same problem with planes thanks to living under an extended flightpath for a major NYC area airport; this extended to UFOs and flying monkeys somehow in my childhood imagination. I totally understand, Figgy.

Posted by: Robert at November 22, 2010 2:07 PM

Here’s a look at ten of the greatest movie assholes in film.

You can imagine my concern, coming from Jeremy...
Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 22, 2010 12:11 PM

Bwah!

Posted by: Vee at November 22, 2010 2:11 PM

I want that Pokemon Movie. It needs to fracking happen.

Posted by: LordNinja at November 22, 2010 2:46 PM

No, no, hell no on the crabs.

Crabs aren't safe since I lived in Seattle. Have you seen those Dungeness crabs? Body like a hubcap, all stocky and short-limbed. I mean, snow crabs or king crabs you figure you can grab a limb & stand a chance. But these, you grab one by the stocky little limb and the other 87,000 legs will grab you & start clawing away. Then their friends come. Shoals of them. They're just waiting out there by the water Right there!

I couldn't see sweet, sweet Dungeness crabs w/o imagining a Michael Jackson dancing pyramid of crabs all West Side Story-ing its way out of the water. At me. With the evil little eyes shooting hate and hunger. They. Never. Blink. My friends would order Dungeness crab for dinner & I'd spend the rest of dinner looking over my shoulder and shreiking whenever someone - some *thing* - brushed against me.

Nope. Not with the crabs. Lobsters are fine. They're just underwater June bugs. But crabs are ocean spiders that have formed armies.

In other news, those migrating salmon aren't picky about spawning partners. Would you be after swimming up stream for 300 miles? Kind of explains a lot about the locals, doesn't it? THEY'RE PART FISH!

Also, don't got to the aquarium on ibogaine.

Just sayin.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at November 22, 2010 3:08 PM

Imagine what they could do to your scull.
*skull (must having rowing on the mind)

I think it stands.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at November 22, 2010 5:09 PM

When are teenaged boys going to learn that absolutely no one wants to see their bodies?
FTFY

Posted by: The Kilted Yaksman at November 22, 2010 9:47 PM

kool-roh-foh-bi-ah

Feel it rolling off your tongue. Seriously, give it a try. There's a magical ring to it. The It kind, but magic nonetheless.

Posted by: Kateshi Rinkichiku at November 23, 2010 7:46 AM