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Where's Your God Now, Comic Book Geeks?

By | Pajiba Love | October 22, 2010 | Comments ()


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Because it wasn't bad enough that comic book geeks had to deal with wedgies and swirlies back in high school (Those still exist, right? ...right?), here are the seven most offensive adaptations of comic book series. Just a fair warning here, but you will never be able to unsee the Shredder's musical number. NEVER. (Cracked)

Alright people, there's only a few more days left in October, and then we're faced with the onslaught of Christmas Christmas Christmas! YEE! So get this October quiz done before the month ends and everyone laughs at you for being late. (Litely Salted)

Dianna Agron wants you all to know that she's very sorry about the Glee photoshoot... also, she wants you to know that if you can't keep your kids from going out and buying a copy of GQ, you probably suck as a parent anyway. (popbytes)

Following a year of being ostracized and ridiculed by the press, Kanye wants you to know how humbled he is by his experiences. HAHA! Just kidding. No, he wants you all to know that he had his bottom teeth replaced with fucking diamonds. (Agent Bedhead)

With Ke$ha cashing in on the recent epidemic of gay teen suicides with her terrible new song (which, if you actually listen to it, has nothing to do with gay teens or empowerement), Rich at FourFour takes a look at how society is fighting hate with self-involvement, and whether the actual benefits outweigh the rampant narcissism. (FourFour)

Now that Conan O'Brien is coming back on the air, he decided to warm us all up with a Live Coco Cam in the writing office. Naturally, they all threw on bear suits and spandex and did some aerobics. And before you ask, yes, there was a panda. You know what that means... (Warming Glow)

For those of you who haven't seen The Social Network yet, either because you haven't had the time or because it's not playing at the one theater near you that sells Icees and you really love those Icees, here's the abridged version of the script. (The Editing Room)

I really do hate to break it to the guy, but hey, Jonah Hill? That whole "unappealing schlubby guy gets the ridiculously attractive girl by being funny" thing? That only works in your movies, not in real life. (Celebslam)

Okay, how fucked up is this: restaurants in Europe are using sprayable artificial DNA to catch robbers who rob their establishment. The kicker in all of this? McDonald's is the one who came up with this. Yup. The people who made the McRib will fucking spray you with DNA if you rob them. (Gamma Squad)

Because Nicolas Cage wasn't completely fucking random enough, he recently spoke to the UN about organized crime in Vienna. Hey, if fucking Kumar can be a White House aide, the guy who was killed by bees can talk to the UN, right? (Film Drunk)

Just in case you needed another reason to hate Kim Kardashian, she's going to be getting a cake for her birthday covered in diamonds. That's right: The girl who got famous for being pissed on by Ray-J is getting a diamond-covered cake for her birthday. Society is going to die horribly, I swear to God it will. (Celebitchy)

Oh Christ, they have Cinnabon toaster pancakes now? Really? Goddammit Cinnabon, do you people want me to be fat and awkward which result in me dying alone and unloved like I always knew I would? You bastards. (The Impulsive Buy)

Holy. Fucking. Shit. We have a new candidate for worst person ever. Some woman who got into a spat with her neighbours decided to take it out on them by setting up a Facebook page mocking their seven-year-old daughter who is dying from Hungtington's, the same disease that killed her mother. Naturally, authorities have taken away the bitch's kids and she's being targeted by 4Chan. She's all yours, boys. (Urlesque)

You know, out of all the cute animal videos I post, I don't give birds anywhere near the amount of love they deserve. Let's fix this now by posting this video of cockatoo dancing to Willow Smith's Whip My Hair (which, by the way, I'm totally in love with).

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin', and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.



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