Eat A Bag Of Sh*t, Cancer

By | Pajiba Love | September 21, 2010 | Comments ()


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Bad news you guys: Andy Whitfield won't be returning to Spartacus: Blood On The Sand next season because he's dealing with non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. Fuck your mother with a horse cock, cancer. Kick it's ass, Andy. (The Flickcast)

So as it turns out, Rich over at FourFour went out and saw Catfish, and surprise! It might actually kinda be total bullshit. At least in the sense that *SORTA SPOILER ALERT* they exploited some poor woman over it. *END SORTA SPOILER ALERT* (FourFour)

Ooooooo, they're running a Disney Princess quiz over at LitelySalted right now and FUCK YES I know way too much about Disney Princesses. And kudos to whoever included the Kingdom Hearts question. (Litely Salted)

Oh look, Lindsay Lohan actually failed two drug tests and now there's a bench warrant out for her arrest. Terrific. Hate to say it, but as someone with a history of giving people second chances when they didn't deserve one, I have just completely lost any and all faith in a Lindsay Lohan comeback. This may be the most nihilist piece of celeb gossip ever. (popbytes)

And in other "whore law" news, Paris Hilton pleaded guilty to cocaine possession and blah and blah and blah whatever. Hey, unless this bitch is going to be spending the rest of her life shitting in the corner of a cell, I don't care. (Yeeeah!)

Awwwww shiiiiiit, you guys remember that "leaked trailer" for the fake gritty-realistic-reboot of Pokemon? Well, the whole fan-made trailer has been released online and it's ... creepy, and kinda hard to watch, but still pretty awesome. (Topless Robot)

The cast for Tim Burton's Frankenweenie has been announced, and surprisingly, not only does it look AMAZING, but Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter are nowhere to be seen. What, you couldn't find a Frankenstein Dog costume in their size? (Screen Junkies)

So some British food writer with a stick of butter up her ass decided that feminism has killed good home cooking. Ummmm, really? Personally, Mama Feist still makes a damn fine meal, so I'm going to blame "The Death of Home Cooking" on Sandra Lee. (Zelda Lily)

Football fans: I would like to apprise you of the freakishly eerie similarities between Coach Tony Dungy and a Vulcan. (Ugly Fours)

Awwwww, how ... cute? I don't know. Justin Bieber was caught making out in the backseat of a Honda with a girl. While Justin Bieber can fuck right off back to obscurity, I feel bad for the girl because obviously The Biebs' fans are going to fucking crucify her by the end of the day. Mark my words. (Evil Beet)

It's official: Sir Ian McKellen has the best pro-gay statement shirt EVER. I'm pretty sure Sir Ian McKellen is like the gay male version of Helen Mirren at this point. Neither of them can do wrong. (Unreality)

Here are the 9 most mind-blowing disguises in the animal kingdom. While this in no way eases me on the way I feel about spiders (spiders are evil and they will eat you), it does reinforce the notion that octopuses are, in fact, pretty damn awesome. (Cracked)

Courtesy of our own SugarKane, here's an interview with Drag U's Pandora Boxx. While I can totally appreciate the name here, I can't help but get the feeling her vagina holds all the world's evils or something. (Socialite Life)

Thanks to figgy here's a recipe for rice with shrimp and curry. Oh my fucking GOD, do I ever love shrimp. So yeah, this will eventually be made up here. (Godtopus Eats)

Oh hoo-fucking-rah, Dancing With The Stars premiered last night because TV is dead, but on the plus side, it gave us this embarrassing Bristol Palin dance number. Yeah, keep making shit tons of money off of absintence bullshit and getting knocked up. See how that works for you. Bonus: The song she danced to was "Mama Told Me (Not to Come)". Yeah, if you hadn't, you wouldn't have been famous anyway. (Dlisted)

And finally, here it is: your moment of 90's zen.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin', and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.



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