Do You Have A Vagina? Congratulations! Lifetime Just Set You Back 20 Years.
So Sarah Silverman is going full frontal in a new dramatic-comedy (I refuse to say that stupid mash-up word) called Take This Waltz. At first I was like "eh" but then I realized that the movie was directed by Sarah Polley, thus restoring my faith. (Film Drunk)
Here's Courtney Enlow's anti-tribute to the worst character in cinematic history (and the reason why every female protagonist in generic studio romantic-comedies are horrid bitches), Julia Roberts' character from My Best Friend's Wedding! (Hobo Trashcan)
Alright guys, today's quiz involves naming the companies behind advertising slogans to show off just how much you love capitalism. Wooo! (Litely Salted)
So now that Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab, girl looks like she's got her life back on track and- Oh, wait, never mind, she just flunked her last drug test and tested positive for cocaine. Alright, let's take this from the top people... (popbytes)
Gird your loins people, this one is going to hurt: Jennifer Love Hewitt is set to star in a female version of The Big Bang Theory, directed by the guy responsible for Wild Hogs and written by the girl who shit out Nancy Drew. Derp-A Derpity Derp. (Warming Glow)
It's official: Michael Stipe has been made the first official guest editor for Gwyneth Paltrow's stupid pretentious GOOP. What the hell happened to you, Michael? You used to be cool, man. You used to be cool. (Agent Bedhead)
Hey Lady Gaga: Kate Walsh will see your meat dress and raise you one sushi dress. Yeah, Private Practice may suck, but I kinda think the sushi dress is just exponentially cooler than that raggedy-ass hunk of meat. (Celebitchy)
Tiger Woods threatened to take back one of his whores' $10 Million hush money fund if she posed for Playboy. Wait, what? Why would you need to pose for Playboy if you have TEN MILLION DOLLARS? (Celebslam)
Because there's nothing I love more than dorky proposals, some guy asked his fiancée to marry him using a specifically modified version of Super Mario World. Awwww, just once I wish a guy would ask me out using Portal or something. (Gamma Squad)
What happens when you take a time lapse of the universe revolving around the sun and pair it with one of the most unnerving songs from Inception you can find? THIS. THIS HAPPENS. (Gizmodo)
Here are the 10 worst action movie hero names. Alright, I will give you Frank Shatter, that name is fucking dumb. But you do NOT talk trash about Chev Chelios, you hear me? I would fuck Jason Statham on a bed of broken and I would fucking love it. And if he wanted me to call him "Chev" or "Chevy" the whole time? Fuck it, that's just the sort of shit you do when you are getting fucked by STATHAAAAAAAAM! (Den Of Geek)
It's official! The record for the world's longest kiss has been broken by two dudes, making it the first time ever a gay couple has held the record. And cue the moral outrage from old gaycist assholes in 3, 2 and go... (Towleroad)
BLAME THE PINK HULK FOR THIS HE MADE ME DO IT. Anyway, words really can't describe this, other than to say that this will probably wipe out any and all lingering respect Dustin has for the south. That is all.