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IT'S A TRAP!

By | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (25)

PL190710.jpg

Ho. Lee. SHIT. Four hundred lucky guests who show up to a Star Wars convention in Florida will get one of sixteen Star Wars-themed cereals. I don’t give a shit about any of the others here, but I WANT ADMIRAL ACKBAR CEREAL. (Buzzfeed)

This brilliantly sums up M. Night Shyamalan’s reputation with audiences now. His name actually elicits a collective groan in a movie theater. (FilmDrunk)

The now dead Anchorman sequel, it turns out, was going to be a musical. (CHUD) But now, there is talk of a Step Brothers sequel. Ugh. (Cinemablend)

Now that Lindsay is using rehab to avoid jail, she wants to open her own chain of rehab centers. In related news, Roman Polanski is set to open his own daycare. (Yeeeah!)

Wanna hear something that will make you lose all faith in a benevolent God? How about this: The two most watched videos ever on Youtube are a Lady Gaga video and Justin Bieber’s stupid fucking “Baby” song. Are you weeping for humanity yet? (Evil Beet)

I know I don’t say this enough but please please PLEASE kill yourself Spencer Pratt. Set yourself on fire, throw yourself off a cliff, wear a meat-suit and jump into shark-infested waters; I don’t care how you do it, just stop living. (Celebitchy)

Well, now that Megan Fox’s career is pretty much dead as dirt, meet Taylor Momsen, the sixteen-year-old who doesn’t care about Haiti and who talks about using her vibrator. Pedobear approves! (Agent Bedhead)

You know, for a band who asked how fucking magnets worked, Insane Clown Posse does not take kindly to people trying to educate their fans. (Gamma Squad)

In preparation for shark week, or as I like to call it “Watch TV with your feet curled up safely on the couch week,” The Discovery Channel turned their building into a giant shark. NO ONE IS SAFE. (Warming Glow)

Ever wonder where the little pieces from Tetris come from? The answer: Chopped up beloved video game characters. You heartless Russian bastards! (Unreality)

Ever wanted to see what Jersey Shore would be like if they were all Asian and The Situation was actually a soft-core gay porn star? There’s a show for that! (Side-note: Soft-Core? You pussy.) (Dlisted)

Ever wonder what Inception would be like if they replaced Leonardo DiCaprio’s character with Dora the Explorer? Well your oddly specific fantasy has come true thanks to this spoof trailer! Also: No, I haven’t seen the movie yet. Shut up, I was busy!

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his sorta-NSFW blog here, or email him here.









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Comments

WAIT. WAIT.

Just... wait a second.

Am I the only moron who didn't realize that Taylor Momsen creature was actually Cindy Lou Who in How The Grinch Stole Christmas? And now she's talking about vibrators?

This is very disturbing. I am disturbed.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at July 19, 2010 12:08 PM

" At that close range we won't last long against those Star Destroyers!"

Ackbar for the delicious calamaric win.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at July 19, 2010 12:29 PM

I laughed at that Dora the Explorer video much harder than I should have.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at July 19, 2010 12:33 PM

I will happily admit to helping "Bad Romance" get its bajillion views. I don't give a shit what anyone says: I love that video. Absolutely love it. So you can cram it.

Posted by: figgy at July 19, 2010 12:56 PM

Heehee...that reaction to "From the Mind of M. Night Shyamalan" was priceless.

Posted by: figgy at July 19, 2010 12:58 PM

The Other Agent Johnson--love the name. I just watched Die Hard for the hundredth time this weekend.

Jeremy, I am massively entertained by your intros to all the links. The "Super Whore" intro a few PLs back still ranks as my favorite.

Posted by: DeadBessie at July 19, 2010 1:08 PM

I know he's a fucking loon, but what's with Spencer trying to look like a fat old man? What's his end goal there? You know what? Nevermind, he's just nuts.

The Bieber video thing doesn't disturb me so much because you know there's a shit ton of 12 year olds out there just playing it over and over until their computer shorts out from Bieber over load. You can bet your ass if Youtube had been around when the New Kids on the Block were popular I would have single-handedly made them #1...ahem... I've said too much haven't I?

Posted by: Even Stevens at July 19, 2010 1:30 PM

My name is Courtney, and I love Lady Gaga.

No. That was not another hacky AA joke. That was a "My Name Is Luka" reference because I am DONE being brutalized by people for my love.

If you hear something late at night, some kind of dance beats, some kind of pop, just don't ask me what it was. Just don't ask me what it was.

Posted by: Courtney at July 19, 2010 1:31 PM

In preparation for shark week, or as I like to call it “Watch TV with your feet curled up safely on the couch week, The best week of TV of the year."

Fixed. Note to my wife: If my viewing or recording of Shark Week programming is interrupted by the DVRing of shitty reality tv, uppins will come. You get the other 51 weeks of the year, this ones mine!

Posted by: admin at July 19, 2010 1:44 PM

Well, the youtube thing totally makes sense. I don't know how many times I've had this conversation with old relatives:

"So, what are the kids listening to these days?"
"Well, mostly pop, but it's kind of a broad genre..."
"What is this gaga person I've heard about? A baby?"
"No, she's a singer with weird..."
"Does she sing Baby?"
"No, that's Justin Beiber. He's..."
"So she's just saying gaga a lot?"
*siiiiiiigh.* "Here, let me show you."
...youtube...
"THIS is pop culture today? I'll just stay in ignorance, thank you."

Posted by: esme at July 19, 2010 1:50 PM

I watched the Bad Romance video 69 times. Y'all got a fooking problem with that?

Posted by: Snuggiepants at July 19, 2010 2:44 PM

You can bet your ass if Youtube had been around when the New Kids on the Block were popular I would have single-handedly made them #1

Why, when I was a whippersnapper, I had a 45 RPM vinyl single of Duran Duran's "The Reflex", and I played it so damn much I was afraid I would wear a hole right through the record.

Now have I said too much, or just enough?

Posted by: MM at July 19, 2010 3:27 PM

MM Were we friends? Did you also have a B-52 album that you wore out?

Posted by: Snuggiepants at July 19, 2010 3:50 PM

How old is Spencer Pratt? He looks like John Malkovich's crazy older cousin in that picture.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at July 19, 2010 4:06 PM

Admiral Ackbar cereal was actually a skit on Robot Chicken, like 3 years ago or something. They used the exact same box and everything. Hence why it's the only funny entry on that list.

Posted by: SlizBomb at July 19, 2010 4:07 PM

OH, Snuggie, I was too young and stupid to like the B-52s at that point. Hence my agreement that, if I were 12 years old today, I might like Justin Bieber. {shudder}

I don't think we were besties then, but we can be friends now.

Posted by: MM at July 19, 2010 4:36 PM

I think we're all ignoring that Thriller on Youtube would have been the biggest thing ever. Hell, Thriller dance videos are pretty big now. And don't get me started on Smooth Criminal.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at July 19, 2010 5:15 PM

Cmon! The B52s are still awesome! (I'm 21 and I just saw them in concert last week!)

Posted by: Amanda at July 19, 2010 5:47 PM

" dead Anchorman sequel?"
He was dead in the first one?
Now it all makes sense.

Posted by: Odnon at July 19, 2010 5:51 PM

The midnight showing of Inception (w/ Devil trailer) did that same groan....I laughed and got weird looks...
also Robot Chicken win!

Posted by: Luke at July 19, 2010 7:54 PM

My friend saw Inception on Saturday night and she related a similar story about the trailer for Shyamalan's new movie. It started and nobody paid much attention, then it started to get scary and people got drawn in, and when the name "M. Night Shyamalan" came on screen, everyone in the audience got silent for a second, and then started laughing. I ice cream cone New York.

Posted by: SaBrina at July 19, 2010 7:54 PM

Continues Pratt: “I’m an artist now. I have an easel and everything. I’m going for an art show and a gallery.”

Oh man, as an Emily Carr art grad that struggles with her work being seen and appreciated, that hurts. Really, really hurts.

On the plus side, as a part-time childcare support worker, I've heard the exact same phrase from various spaztastic four year olds when setting up creativity centres. And comparing Spencer Pratt's brain to a very young prefrontal cortex is a small revenge that tastes so, so sweet.

Posted by: kootenay girl at July 19, 2010 8:20 PM

The only reason I kept watching Bad Romance was to get a good look at her ALIEN shoes. I want them, they can eat my bad dates.
And I totally want all the Star Wars cereal.

Posted by: DeckOfficer!! at July 19, 2010 10:55 PM

The shoes in that video are insane. Specially the lobster-claw shoes--those were Alexander McQueen and they are just awesomely bizarre.

Posted by: figgy at July 20, 2010 12:07 AM

Am I the only fan of the YuGiOh ripoff of Bad Romance?

"WE WANTCHA LEATHER PANTS!!!"

Posted by: Camilla at July 20, 2010 2:05 AM