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Yes, I'm Sure Your Baby Appreciates This

By | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (26)

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Halloween is coming up, and you know what that means: It’s time for people to throw costumes and to things that clearly do no want to wear costumes! Case in point, here are the 50 creepiest baby costumes, because nothing says “Happy Halloween!” like a fussy baby trying to squirm its way out of a pizza costume. (BWE)

Here’s a ridiculously cute pictorial of classic 8-bit Mario explaining all the different zones you can be in in a relationship. Ha ha! The jokes on you! I don’t believe in dating, which means the only thing I have to worry about is dying alone and unloved! Woo! (Sandbox)

Today’s quiz is all about… *spins the wheel* …Literary couples! And for those of you worried, no, Edward and Bella aren’t anywhere fucking near this list. Feel free to keep on walking if you were hoping they were. (Litely Salted)

Oh look, Rock ‘N Roll Raccoon is on the cover of Revolver magazine wearing lingerie and holding guns. Hey, you know what would look appropriate on her, since she’s 17-years-old? Absolutely anything other than lingerie and guns. (popbytes)

HA! South Park finally got around to tearing apart Jersey Shore and all the other shitty little shows that have crawled out of its maw. And for the record: NEVER date a guy who lives in New Jersey. NEVER. Trust me. (Agent Bedhead)

Someone who clearly loves Tommy Wiseau’s The Room just a liiiiiiiiittle bit too much (I’m looking at you, Stacey) went ahead and let him behind the camera again for a short film, which is sort of like giving the keys to a mini-van to a guy who ran his car through a children’s playground. (Film Drunk)

Another reason why Dan Savage is awesome? Someone wrote him a letter along the lines of “I’m a Christian who doesn’t believe in gay marriage, and I was hurt by how you portray us.” His response? “Fuck your feelings you hypocritical bitch, kids are dying and it’s because of people like you.” (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)

Some bitch from Entourage (and no, I’m not talking about Jeremy Piven) decided to try and use a one-episode DVD of Entourage as a tip for the valet. Hey, you know what’s an even better tip than one episode from a terrible show? MONEY. (Celebslam)

Bill O’Reilly went on The View because… Well, I’m not really sure why. Maybe he wants to get in Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s pants. Anyway, the whole thing went exactly as well as you would expect of a situation where a race-baiting shitsack goes on a show with five screaming harpies. (Warming Glow)

With Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert’s newly jointed Rally To Restore Sanity Or Fear coming up, Oprah decided to do something cool for once by sending Jon’s entire audience down to the rally for free. YOU GET A RALLY! YOU GET A RALLY! AND YOU GET A RALLY! (Celebitchy)

I’m not sure what Minecraft is, mostly because this is 2010 and I refuse to play games where the graphics don’t make everything look brown (Thanks, countless generic FPSs!), but somebody made a giant Bender statue in the game and it’s pretty badass. (Gamma Squad)

Here are the 15 most stereotypical nerds in popculture. For the record, nothing will ever beat my best friend in high school, Bernie. Glasses, nasal voice, AND he was a bigger theater geek than I was. You just do not top that shit. (Topless Robot)

A propos of nothing, here’s Brett Favre getting hit in the junk with a football… IN GIF FORM. Yeah, we’re going heavy on the GIFs this week on Pajiba. What of it? (KissingSuzyKolber)

Here’s a website dedicated to hot chicks in dirndls. I’m not sure what a dirndl is, but they’re super cute and it’s all for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so enjoy it. H/T to yesbutnobutyes! (HotGirlsInDirndls)

Today’s video proves that all you need to stay fit and ripped is a cuddly cute little puppy that you can use as a dumbbell. A dumbbell that you can take for walks and cuddle with while you watch movies. Awwwwww…

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.









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Comments

I read that Dan Savage column this week and nearly cheered sitting at my work desk. That was some stellar writing and his response was dead on.

Posted by: TylerDFC at October 15, 2010 12:09 PM

Are you kidding me? I want that alien costume so bad I might eat a baby to get it!

Posted by: admin at October 15, 2010 12:11 PM

Ohhhh.

That's an Alien coming out of that baby? At first glance he looks like a chicken impaled by a bull's cock.

Honest mistake.

Posted by: Kballs at October 15, 2010 12:21 PM

Kballs, that's exactly what I thought too.

Posted by: Jadine at October 15, 2010 12:23 PM

Ohmahgah, I'm in love with whomever wrote today's Litely Salted quiz. And while I think I SHOULD have gotten credit for one of my answers (title and last name versus first. . .Litely Salted is usually pretty forgiving on that), I'm still proud of my years of being a moony, lovesick little bookworm, cause it helped my score on this day.

Posted by: coveredinbees at October 15, 2010 12:25 PM

I love it when faux-Christians get bitch-slapped. Really great stuff. I want there to be a blog "Faux-ChristiansGetBitch-Slapped.com"

Posted by: superasente at October 15, 2010 12:34 PM

As a counterpoint to Jeremy's editorial, I would like to point out once again there is no shortage of kind, sweet men from New Jersey who do not tan, hold jobs, and do not dance around like angry gorillas fighting for a mate. Do not fear dating a man from Jersey who reviles all things Ed Hardy and only like orange flesh on a juicy piece of citrus.

And now back to your regularly scheduled snark, bitchiness, and clown-fueled orgy.

Posted by: Robert at October 15, 2010 12:46 PM

Looking at all those babies dressed as food is making me so hungry.

Posted by: jM at October 15, 2010 12:56 PM

"You just do not top that shit. "

That's funny, Jeremy. I thought you were a bottom.

Posted by: jimbob at October 15, 2010 12:59 PM

Hey, you know what would look appropriate on her, since she’s 17-years-old? Absolutely anything other than lingerie and guns.

Felony, Pussycat! Jail! Jail!

Posted by: branded at October 15, 2010 1:54 PM

Yeah, I kinda thought the baby had a giant dildo hanging out of its chest, and I was confused. But then, I'm often confused, so whatevs.

Posted by: MM at October 15, 2010 2:06 PM

For the edification of all Pajibans, I am totally going to rock my German heritage and make my omah proud. A dirndl is a type of traditional dress that was popularized in Southern Germany. The dresses have become extremely popular for women to wear at Oktoberfest activities the world over. And yes, in case you were wondering, my omah did make me my first dirndl. I looked like the girl on the Swiss Miss Cocoa box. I was adorable. :P

Posted by: androstarr at October 15, 2010 2:11 PM

In retaliation for that header pick my unborn babeh kicked me in the lung and told me to deliver the same to you.

Posted by: stardust at October 15, 2010 2:16 PM

Also, is it just me or does anyone else want to send that Brett Favre gif to John Madden?

Posted by: stardust at October 15, 2010 2:54 PM

Stardust, you need to get a doll, smother it in blood and offal and have it bursting from your chest. Then tell everybody you just gave birth and act confused when they proclaim that "that isn't normal". Then ask them if they'd like to hold her. Make that shit happen!

Posted by: admin at October 15, 2010 2:55 PM

The video kind of sucked AND I'm bugged that a suggestion I emailed to JF wasn't used... so here it is anyway. Ninja kitty attack: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOR_gTxpkzs

Posted by: snapnhiss at October 15, 2010 3:09 PM

the octopus baby costume is NSFW!!

Posted by: J9 at October 15, 2010 3:44 PM

Oh man, I'm totally stealing that baby-costume idea. There is no other way to make Helloween funn when you're six months pregnant. Here's a list of why halloween sucks if you're knocked up.

1. Drinking? No.

2. Going to a bar in my super-small uber-Republican judgmental Christian hometown? No. Not unless I want to be church-gossip fodder and have a pre-emtive visit from social services.

3. Scaring trick-or-treaters? No - we live too far out of town to get any. I've wasted my last year waiting in the bushes with a garden hose, dammit.

4. Playing tircks on the neighbors? No - too easy to spot strange cars in the country and I am too big and waddl-y for stealth at this point.

So, exploding baby out of the chest it is. Either that or stealing my hubby's wife-beater and a trucker hat and going as a beer-belly redneck. Unfortunatly, I don't think people around here would get the joke and may even mistake me for one of my relatives not in costume. Crap. Welcome to Wisconsin.

Posted by: hersheygirl at October 15, 2010 4:44 PM

And for the record: NEVER date a guy who lives in New Jersey. NEVER. Trust me.

the jersey shore is nowhere near an accurate representation of new jersey the state, or the people in it. my boyfriend is from and still lives in new jersey. he is one of the best people i've ever met.

of the idiots on the jersey shore, only one is actually from new jersey.

Posted by: carolyn at October 15, 2010 5:21 PM

@admin, and have my husband dress in fatigues and bellow, "Game over, man! GAME OVER!!"

Also, @hersheygirl, feel free to steal the idea my husband and I had for our costume: he dresses as Gallagher and carries a Sledge-O-Matic, you paint your belly as a watermelon and dress all in green.

Posted by: stardust at October 15, 2010 5:39 PM

That Mario comic was my favorite thing from the Internet this week. Sweet.

Posted by: Amanda6 at October 15, 2010 6:15 PM

That's not a Baby Joystick in picture #47 it's that dude from that game who rolls around the place making a giant ball of refuse that can even roll up the earth! I forget the name.

Posted by: Ender at October 15, 2010 6:41 PM

Ender, you mean Katamari?

Also, what kind of parent dresses his kid up as Hitler? What does that say about the parent?

Posted by: Rooks at October 16, 2010 5:41 AM

You mean the parents who went as Eva Braun and Heinrich Himmler?

Posted by: , at October 16, 2010 10:32 AM

The reaction of the audience was so slow on the Daily Show. I mean, it's Oprah. Did you not expect it to be a plane tioket and accomodations for the Rally?

Posted by: aroorda at October 16, 2010 7:35 PM

@coveredinbees - Professor Baer, am I right? Gah!

Posted by: Jami at October 17, 2010 3:13 PM