Yes, I'm Sure Your Baby Appreciates This
Here's a ridiculously cute pictorial of classic 8-bit Mario explaining all the different zones you can be in in a relationship. Ha ha! The jokes on you! I don't believe in dating, which means the only thing I have to worry about is dying alone and unloved! Woo! (Sandbox)
Today's quiz is all about... *spins the wheel* ...Literary couples! And for those of you worried, no, Edward and Bella aren't anywhere fucking near this list. Feel free to keep on walking if you were hoping they were. (Litely Salted)
Oh look, Rock 'N Roll Raccoon is on the cover of Revolver magazine wearing lingerie and holding guns. Hey, you know what would look appropriate on her, since she's 17-years-old? Absolutely anything other than lingerie and guns. (popbytes)
HA! South Park finally got around to tearing apart Jersey Shore and all the other shitty little shows that have crawled out of its maw. And for the record: NEVER date a guy who lives in New Jersey. NEVER. Trust me. (Agent Bedhead)
Someone who clearly loves Tommy Wiseau's The Room just a liiiiiiiiittle bit too much (I'm looking at you, Stacey) went ahead and let him behind the camera again for a short film, which is sort of like giving the keys to a mini-van to a guy who ran his car through a children's playground. (Film Drunk)
Another reason why Dan Savage is awesome? Someone wrote him a letter along the lines of "I'm a Christian who doesn't believe in gay marriage, and I was hurt by how you portray us." His response? "Fuck your feelings you hypocritical bitch, kids are dying and it's because of people like you." (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)
Some bitch from Entourage (and no, I'm not talking about Jeremy Piven) decided to try and use a one-episode DVD of Entourage as a tip for the valet. Hey, you know what's an even better tip than one episode from a terrible show? MONEY. (Celebslam)
Bill O'Reilly went on The View because... Well, I'm not really sure why. Maybe he wants to get in Elisabeth Hasselbeck's pants. Anyway, the whole thing went exactly as well as you would expect of a situation where a race-baiting shitsack goes on a show with five screaming harpies. (Warming Glow)
With Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's newly jointed Rally To Restore Sanity Or Fear coming up, Oprah decided to do something cool for once by sending Jon's entire audience down to the rally for free. YOU GET A RALLY! YOU GET A RALLY! AND YOU GET A RALLY! (Celebitchy)
I'm not sure what Minecraft is, mostly because this is 2010 and I refuse to play games where the graphics don't make everything look brown (Thanks, countless generic FPSs!), but somebody made a giant Bender statue in the game and it's pretty badass. (Gamma Squad)
Here are the 15 most stereotypical nerds in popculture. For the record, nothing will ever beat my best friend in high school, Bernie. Glasses, nasal voice, AND he was a bigger theater geek than I was. You just do not top that shit. (Topless Robot)
A propos of nothing, here's Brett Favre getting hit in the junk with a football... IN GIF FORM. Yeah, we're going heavy on the GIFs this week on Pajiba. What of it? (KissingSuzyKolber)
Here's a website dedicated to hot chicks in dirndls. I'm not sure what a dirndl is, but they're super cute and it's all for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so enjoy it. H/T to yesbutnobutyes! (HotGirlsInDirndls)
Today's video proves that all you need to stay fit and ripped is a cuddly cute little puppy that you can use as a dumbbell. A dumbbell that you can take for walks and cuddle with while you watch movies. Awwwwww...
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