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No, Seriously: What The F*ck Is A Nikki Minaj?

By | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (21)

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The MTV VMAs happened last night, and dumb little me decided to liveblog the whole thing despite being drunk and hating absolutely everyone and everything there. Well, except for Chelsea Handler. Although any awards show that would give more screen time to whatever Nikki Minaj is over Robyn deserves a punch in the balls. (popbytes)

And now for the most important discussion of our time: Are Christina Hendricks’ boobs super, magical, or super magical? Just a warning, but this post features puh-lenty of pics of Christina Hendricks’ lovely, lovely cleavage, so straight men, bisexuals and lesbians: Prepare yourselves. (Uproxx)

Speaking of those MTV VMA’s, here’s an MTV quiz for those of you who remember when the station actually played music. (LitelySalted)

Thanks to Penelope on this one, here are the 50 best movie trailers ever. All I can say is FUCK AND YES to the Red Eye love. Remember Red Eye? God I loved that movie. One of the most underrated movies of the aughts/thousands/what the fuck ever. (Extra)

Alright, so Nick over at Celeslam called Tila Tequila a “Cheap Saigon Whore” and then she got all pissy and called him a racist and demanded an apology or she would have him fired and he was all like “HAHA no, whore.” I don’t know what the fuck her problem is; considering she started her career using a kiddie-pool of banana pudding, a donkey and a bucket of ping-pong balls, this is probably one of the less awful things people have said about her. (Celebslam)

I honestly couldn’t make this shit up if I tried, but Finland has created an entirely serious movie about a killer Santa Claus who was buried in the North Pole but rose from his frozen grave to… Ummm, I don’t know. Whatever killer Santas do. Kill naughty kids? Yeah, that sounds about right. (Film Drunk)

Speaking of batshit-crazy famewhores, Spencer Pratt was arrested in Costa Rica for felony firearms possession. But then Costa Rica realized they would have to hold Spencer Pratt in their country, so they just banned him from their country. In related news, Spencer Pratt is now banned from Canada for felony douche because I say so. (Celebitchy)

Hey, did any of you guys catch that clip from the new season of The Amazing Race where some poor woman takes a slingshot-powered melon to the face? Well, she may have gotten a concussion because no shit Sherlocke, that’s what happens when someone pegs you in the face with a 10-pound object. (Warming Glow)

Because she is so HARDCORE and PUNK ROCK, Taylor Momsen decided to set her dog’s neutered balls on fire. Somehow, I don’t think Bob Barker approves of this because she’s hardcore and doesn’t take shit from no one. FIGHT THE POWER, ROCK ‘N ROLL RACCOON! (Agent Bedhead)

I’m not really sure how many people here care about video games, but I’m going to post this trailer for Marvel vs. Capcom 3 for sheer cinematic value. Come for Captain America casually fighting a helicopter and winning, stay for Viewtiful Joe riding Amaterasu like a My Little Sun God Pony. (Gamma Squad)

So Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin decided to host a 9/11 Event in Wasilla, despite the fact that Sarah doesn’t consider New York to be a part of “Real America”. You remember New York, right? You know, the place where they flew the planes into the World Trade Center? That’s not real America. (Towleroad)

Ooooo, yay! The first clip for Justin Bieber’s role on CSI has leaked onto the blagonets, and he is truly the greatest actor of our generation? Give him all the Emmys, it’s not even a competition anymore! (Buzzfeed)

Here are the 6 completely bananarama-insane foreign memes that put lolcats to shame. All of a sudden, I have a newfound appreciation for all things Mudkipz. (Cracked)

Will.i.am decided to paint himself entirely in black and then everyone called him racist for it. Seriously? You consider a black men painting himself up to look like fucking Max Headroom racist? (Dlisted)

Did you know that thanks to American Apparel, and over-inflated sense of self-worth and retro bullshit, being a dickhead is now in style? The song says so! Thanks to Bierce Ambrose!

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin’, and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.









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Comments

At last a scientific analysis that proves Christina Hendricks boobs are REAL!

Who says science is only for geeks?

Posted by: logan at September 13, 2010 12:14 PM

Um, sorry...

RE So Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin decided to host a 9/11 Event in Wasilla, despite the fact that Sarah doesn’t consider New York to be a part of “Real America”.

I think you mean "because" rather than "despite the fact."

Posted by: Slash at September 13, 2010 12:14 PM

Nah, I meant "despite the fact" that she held the rally, not where she hosted it. Although you're right, that interpretation works too. It's like that picture where you see either an old witch or a young woman. YOU JUST BEEN INCEPTION'D, BITCH!

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at September 13, 2010 12:28 PM

The Jeremy:

Is there any way to pre-check these links? My Malware alert software has gone haywire every time I try to link to Pajiba Love links lately.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 13, 2010 12:32 PM

Really? Fucking weird... My computer seems to be just fine with them. I'm not sure how to handle shit like this (security's never been my forte) but worst case scenario, just view the cached versions. Most of it is just text anyway.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at September 13, 2010 12:36 PM

Polaroid app on my iphone
taking pictures on London Fields
up on the blog so everyone knows
were having new age fun, with a vintage feel

I'm still not convinced being a dickhead is cool, but that song definitely is.
Awesome animation too.

Posted by: Simon at September 13, 2010 12:51 PM

I have a newfound appreciation for all things Mudkipz.

Gesundheit.

Posted by: TK at September 13, 2010 1:15 PM

9/10 on that quiz. Missed only the Benatar question.

Posted by: Fredo at September 13, 2010 1:17 PM

People liking Chelsea Handler is such a mystery to me. The woman's insufferable and painfully unfunny. She's like Sarah Silverman but slightly less annoying.

You know, you joke about Bieber getting Emmys, but you KNOW (I'm 100% sure of this) that he'll get nominated and win next year for Guest Appearance. Because the Emmys desperately need viewers and what better way to get 150 million teens to tune in than by promising them Bieber? It's just LOGICAL, dude.

Posted by: figgy at September 13, 2010 1:36 PM

I've mentioned this before at least 2, 3 times, but it always bears repeating: Finnish people are cr-uh-HUH-azy.*

However, I'd love a good killer Santy Claus movie.

*Says a part Finnish person, so it's not racist or nothin'.

Posted by: MM at September 13, 2010 2:07 PM

Red Eye has been viewed in the DeadBessie househould approximately 200+ times now. Cillian Murphy can beat me up in an airplane bathroom and threaten my dad's life any time.

Posted by: DeadBessie at September 13, 2010 2:11 PM

For fuck's sake, would someone just cut Bieber's hair already? Seriously, isn't there someone out there like that guy who throws pies a famous people but gives spontaneous haircuts instead?

Posted by: Danielle Lilly at September 13, 2010 2:33 PM

Jeremy, your Robyn fanaticism is glorious.
Did you find her recently, or have you been onboard since Show Me Love?

Posted by: Scott at September 13, 2010 2:36 PM

RE: YOU JUST BEEN INCEPTION'D, BITCH!

And I didn't get you anything... sorry.

Posted by: Slash at September 13, 2010 2:51 PM

After watching the Bieber vid and seeing THIS Tweeny Bopper fan vid of a CSI season trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23EEPMAntNM), I've been blessed with yet another name for my Punk Rock side project. (Blogging doesn't pay, nor does it properly vent my angst.)

Come see me and my new band, "Justin Bieber's Rape Face"!

Posted by: DoctorControversy at September 13, 2010 3:45 PM

Hendricks Boobs:
Real, possibly had a little maintenance. A little lift perhaps, and she likely has worked out to increase her pecs underneath it all, which can affect the whole picture. But that article really points out it is all in the underwear. If you have a lift separate and squish bra, the cans can look fake. A CLEAVAGE bra, and they look bigger. And if it is a push up with padding, LORD HAVE MERCY.
Godtopus bless her. Bringing curvy BACK!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 13, 2010 4:33 PM

Red Eye!!!!!
Saw in theaters, own on DVD, show to everyone.

Sure it's not the most clever thriller ever, but it's got a nice tight pace & plot. Also Rachel McAdams and Cillian Murphy are a couple of the few actors that have legit talent and eyecandy.
Looove.

Is it too recent to be considered as an Underappreciated Gem?

Posted by: gee. ay. at September 13, 2010 5:40 PM

Lemme tell you, I didn't read a single word of that Christina Hendricks article...but I do know this about myself now: I would gladly lop off vital parts of my body for her to violently kick me in the jaw just once...in a manner of speaking.

Posted by: Case at September 13, 2010 5:57 PM

i stupidly read the hendricks article and the comments.

i'm wondering if people have anything to discuss about hendricks aside from whether or not she is fat and whether or not her boobs are real.

i'm sure she loves all the attention her tune in tokyos garner and doesn't at all want people to talk about her acting achievements.

oh god, i'm going all jezebel.

fuck that.

nice rack, tits mcgee.

Posted by: stopthemadness at September 13, 2010 7:27 PM

I think iphone 4 is great,but Android is better! There is no surprise here ! I would never buy an Apple anything, and I will never quit Sprint. In both cases, it is simply because I don't want to pay more cash for a cool logo on my stuff.

Posted by: Kelley Jeangilles at September 17, 2010 9:01 AM

This can be a right blog for anybody who wants to find out about this particular question. You realize a great deal its almost very difficult to argue with you (not that I truly would want…HaHa). You definitely put a fresh spin for the topic that's been discussed for a long time. Excellent stuff, simply just amazing!

Posted by: Mac nick at January 23, 2011 1:33 PM