Pajiba

I can't read that dog story, I got to the end of the first page and had to stop. I don't want to know what comes next.

100% on the candy quiz. That should probably make me sad, but it doesn't.

Julie, your brother sounds very... innovative.

Yes, I'll stay with "innovative."

Thanks for the story on Vick's pitbulls. It's nice to see so many people who put in so much time for vulnerable animals.

Man, WTF happened to Nikki Cox?

Reminds me of Ash's line in "Army of Darkness".

Today in "No Fucking Shit" news, a new study finds that abstinence programs are ineffective.

That knowing laughter you hear is coming from the Roman Catholics while they purchase 2009 calendars so that they don't lose track of their rhythm method.

Now that I'm recalling the story Fired, I have to remind myself to ask him why he had a dildo so readily available in the first place. I guess he just takes after his sister.

I can't read the dog story. I won't, I don't feel like crying today. In the normally terrifying depths of my mind all of the abused doggies are currently living in wonderful homes filled with table scraps and chew toys and legs to hump. My good friend Dawnie has a pit bull (Miss Pam), and she's the sweetest dog to ever knock you on your ass, pin you down, and lick you until you can't breathe from laughing so hard. The idea that someone could hurt a dog like her makes me nuts.

That knowing laughter you hear is coming from the Roman Catholics while they purchase 2009 calendars so that they don't lose track of their rhythm method.

Ha! My 4 aunts on my mom's side are all morally against birth control and use this method. They have 17 kids between them and have been pregnant, from what I remember, at least 24 times. They all just may be terrible at counting though.

The Vicks dogs story makes me happy. I was afraid I was going to end up a sobbing mess, which is entirely likely right now anyway as I'm taking MY dog to the vet in an hour or so to find out if the lumps I found on him are cancer or not. I have a lab/pit mix that I found in my yard this summer as just a sack of skin and bone, and he's now the sweetest, healthiest dog imaginable. Can we drop Vick off at this murderful movie theater and hope HE gets shot too?

Ha! My 4 aunts on my mom's side are all morally against birth control and use this method. They have 17 kids between them and have been pregnant, from what I remember, at least 24 times. They all just may be terrible at counting though.

While I was still a wee naive Midwestern Protestant, I thought that the rhythm method had to do with the speed at which one did the deed.

Anthony Bourdain is the non-cooking woman's sex symbol. He also doesn't shy away from buying street cart food.

I adore him.

Re: the "frat boy" video. They are not American frat rats. No self-respecting American frat boy would pay for Stella Artois when they could get much larger quantities of Natty Light, PBR, Iron City, Busch Light, Miller High Life, (insert various other shitty fizzy yellow low-cal beers here). But I am glad to know that the American Frat style is more universal than previously believed. That means I can save the money I had planned to spend traveling around the world and finding the intelligent, driven men that I can't seem to find state-side and just give up all together. But props for creativity...?

I agree, fattypants, no American frat guys would pay for bottles of Stella. Nor would they play cricket in their back garden. (That part made me chuckle.) Would their Italian equivalents hang around playing Bocce?
The video also demonstrates that all over the world, pretty girls are still willing to put up with such creative schmucks.

Sweet Jesus twig! I want to say something so bad, but I've decided to change my ways.

"Branching into" dog food? I thought Rachel Ray was already making dog food! HeyyyyOOOOOO!

(I've actually never watched her show and am slightly confused by the giant hate for some random perky girl, but the joke was too easy.)

I also got 80% on the candy quiz. It is clear where my gustatory interests lie.

I'm betting those boys in the video are Aussies.

Here, it's essential that all Aussie blokes have to learn how to open a beer without a bottle opener by the time we get to high school.

That and how to stab a crocodile in just the right spot (they have brains the size or your thumb, you know!) with the big knives we all carry.

Dammit, you guys -- I was already planning on linking that Savage Love column for tomorrow (the bf sent it to me earlier) and now you're already all talking about it and I haven't even linked it yet.

Way to blow my link load. I hope you all feel terrible about yourselves.*

*Not really.

Oh yeah, and I don't give a crap about Rachael Ray to correct her name spelling.

Oh my gosh, Julie! My brother lives in Manayunk and I thought the guy on the toilet could be him. Haha. I am still not sure. I am just really hoping it isn't him.

Sorry Stacey, but everyone here should be reading Savage Love every week anyway. It should require no linkage. Of course that's not true, and I apologize for helping to foil your P-Lovin' for tomorrow.

In a "Mohr-Cox" related story... Way back yonder in my first year of college, my roommate one day blurted this gem out of the blue: "If Courntey Cox married Jerry Zucker, she'd be Courtney Cox-Zucker."

I've actually never watched her show

Yeah, her voice is kind of annoying once you hear it, but I've only seen the show briefly a couple of times and not really paying attention, so the rage has seemed outsized to me too. Working with books during her era she's just been "attractive woman on the cookbook covers" most of the time.

What, is that rudely "seen and not heard"? Hey, don't judge, all the rest of you HATE her! I'm at least getting a little bit of pleasure out of it. I used to see "Trading Spaces" episodes fairly frequently so my attraction to Paige Davis was much more tortured as she did annoy me.

I am trying not to contribute to the Rachael (Rachel?) Ray hate because it's just too easy. I did become annoyed with her when her face showed up on my Ritz cracker box, though.

And I have to agree on Bourdain. Possibly an asshole, but amusing. I would party with him.

100% on the candy bar quiz, by the way. I have never been more proud...or something.

Stella isn't nearly as expensive in England as it is over here (US). Not sure where that video was filmed (I think I saw a euro symbol on the prices) but in many places Stella is their Coors. Still, they were drinking from bottles not cans so they get points for that.

I read the Benjamin Button news when it first came out, and was horrified. How could someone shoot someone else during this romantic, slightly melancholy fantasy tale?

Then I saw the film. He must have really hated the excessive use of CGI, more than I did. Enough to pull out a real gun with real bullets, possibly during the ship assault, and show those onscreen characters what weapons actually look like. I don't recall any details in the news about lovely, symmetrical, absolutely identical yellow sparks flying off from the wound at the exact same angle with each shot regardless of how the gun was fired. Or the child wearing an inch of make-up on his face to try and appear as a 20 year old on screen.

"(insert various other shitty fizzy yellow low-cal beers here)."

That would be Rolling Rock, sans Latrobe. OK, I guess Rolling Rock LITE to fully fit your definition.