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December 29, 2008 |

By Stacey Nosek | Pajiba Love | December 29, 2008 |

I don’t think there’s a single critic at Pajiba (much less readers and eloquents) who can’t sympathize with wanting to bust a cap on somebody’s ass for being noisy in the movie theater. But really? Over Benjamin Button?? (QuizLaw)

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz put a picture of their stupid baby on their website and acted like it was on purpose and not because no one wanted to pay for their exclusive baby photos. (WIMB)

If you’ve always hated Rachel Ray and never quite understood why, here’s a legitimate reason: She’s nothing but a filthy, lowlife dog poisoner. (Celebitchy)

Here is the tear-jerkingest, heartstrings-pullingest story of the year: What happened to Michael Vick’s dogs. Via TK and my pit bull-owning roommate who showed me this article last week. (Sports Illustrated)

Just when we thought we had seen the last of that hateful, peg-legged, golddigging asshole, Heather Mills done pissed someone off again. (Yeeeah!)

Well, on one hand, I hate football. But on the other hand, I love schadenfreude. And I did happen to catch this game yesterday, and admit — it was glorious, glorious schadenfreude. (KSK)

How well do you know your candy bars? Take this George Costanza Candy Identification Quiz. (mental floss)

Coca Cola is introducing a new low-cal, upscale version of Sprite called “Sprite Green” which will probably appeal to inactive adults and stupid hipsters who think they’re doing something good for the environment. (TIB)

Jay Mohr took wife Nikki Cox’s last name — because, yes, they’re married — and yet somehow managed to miss out on the best dirty name combo ever. (DListed)

Wait, does the MTV even still play music videos? Well either way, apparently they still do exist, and here are the best ones of 2008. (FilmExperience)

Today in “No Fucking Shit” news, a new study finds that abstinence programs are ineffective. And here all these years I thought it was just a coincidence that my high school boyfriend’s bible-thumping step sister got knocked up at 17. (Jezebel)

Just to make everything fair, Christians aren’t the only ones who get their holiday cakes ruined. (CakeWrecks)

If you’ve ever wondered how cavemen evolved, check out what these frat boys can do with bottles of beer. Case closed:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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