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December 24, 2008 |

By Stacey Nosek | Pajiba Love | December 24, 2008 |

You know what Jesus really wanted for his birthday this year? Tits. Well, what did you get him? Some crappy frankincense again? Pfft. (WIMB)

This asshole wants the likes of Pookie and Barbado Slim unmasked for the world to see. (QuizLaw)

What?! Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was invented solely as a tool of consumerism? I feel so… Cheap. And used. (mental floss)

Well screw that, anyway. Here’s reindeer, bitches! (AnimalReview)

Some asshole paid $5300 for Scarlett Johansson’s used tissue. And you wouldn’t even believe what her used toilet paper is running for. (AgentBedhead)

Here are those shirtless photos of Obama everyone’s been talking about. And, uh, umm… I’ll be in my bunk. (Celebslam)

A rapping Santa and Frosty? Eh, sure. Why the hell not. (atom)

Hey, you got eggnog in my tea! You got tea in my eggnog! Yeah, so apparently Bigelow “Eggnogg’n Tea” tastes better than it sounds. Which is good, because it sounds effing gross. (TIB)

Remember what happened in between Iron Man and Less Than Zero? Aww, but you have to admit, he was still cute. (FilmExperience)

This is pretty much the greatest gift a salty linkmaster could receive: The Best Music Video Ever Recorded Of All Time. Thanks, JC! (No, not that one.) (FilmDrunk)

There’s a rumor going around that Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin hate each other’s guts. You know what they could use? A good bang. Just look at what it did for David and Maddie on “Moonlighting.” (Yeeeah!)

Remember that time Gary Coleman was weird on TV? I sure do! Here are the best talk show moments of 2008. (Jezebel)

“Are we really lazy or just Jewish?” Here are some holiday-themed notes of the passive aggressive variety. (PANotes) & (PANotes)

Here’s a special holiday greeting from everyone’s favorite internet cats. (FourFour)

Here are the top 20 albums of 2008, per Jeremy. I admit, I’ve only heard of a handful of these; because I’m kind of old, not especially hip, and mostly set in my ways. I did love She & Him, “Volume 1,” though. (NotesOnBarNapkins)

You know what the problem with children is? They give the shittiest Christmas gifts:

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