Pajiba Love 12/23/08

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | December 23, 2008 | Comments (53)

My roommate was actually the one who sent me the stupawesome brainfoot link from last week, which as we all know has since become the single greatest meme of Pajiba Love. And now thanks to the graphic artistry of the amazingly talented Skittimus Maximus, we now have it immortalized in logo form to hereby be used on T-shirts or Facebook or whatever your liking.

We’ve all been waiting for the inevitable Thundercats trailer, and now that I’ve seen it, it is predictably the best thing ever. (Popoholic)

To anyone who has been following the ridiculously retarded saga of Heidi and Spencer from “The Hills,” you may want to know that all the wedding bullshit was just a huge stunt. Surprise! (WIMB)

What?? This is like the lady on “COPS” who called the police when she got ripped off buying drugs. Anybody see that one? (QuizLaw)

Here is an open letter to the American media with a plea to stop giving the Duggar family celebrity. Seriously, if your only talent is procreating, you pretty much rate on the same level as a common rabbit. Enough is enough already. (Deus Ex Malcontent)

I feel like I owe you guys this to make up for that awful Amy Winehouse naked breast trickery from yesterday. (CuteOverload)

Here are some boorish pickup lines inspired by the recession, one of which Branded actually tried to use on me upon sending the tip. Be still be beating heart! (YPR)

I was this close to seeing a double feature of Silent Night, Deadly Night (which I haven’t seen) and Christmas Evil (which I have seen and is boring as shit) at a theater this weekend but didn’t make it. But after this glowing review, I kind of want to go out and rent the former like, immediately. (FourFour)

Do you think that Twilight asshole will lose all his powers of seducing teenage girls now that he went and cut his gross, unwashed hair? (Agent Bedhead)

It’s a little late for holiday shopping, unfortunately, because this awesome “wine bra” was brought to my attention by the insightful Lauren. Do they make this for girls with flat asses? Because I already have more than enough tits to go around. (After5)

Sarah Palin, bless her dear little heart, weighs in on McCain’s biggest mistake. Spoiler alert! It wasn’t choosing her! (HuffPo)

Remember Stephanie Seymour? That model from the 90’s who was married to Axl Rose? Well she’s old now, but still looks pretty good in a swimsuit. (IDLYITW)

WOOT! Lucky San Franners will have the opportunity to see all 11 members of The State reunite onstage together for the first time in over 10 years. (CC Insider)

David Spade bought the police officers in his hometown of Phoenix guns for Christmas, after hearing how they were having to buy their own. And that’s probably the warmest and fuzziest story you’ll hear about David Spade and/or firearms. (Celebitchy)

Madonna’s armpit is like the Bermuda Triangle crossed with a black hole and the weird dimensional portal from that “Twilight Zone” episode. (cityrag)

I was looking for something holiday-themed to use as today’s clip, and I just happened across this Mitchell and Webb sketch over on YBNBY which was perfect. Please to enjoy:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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Comments

BRAINFOOT!!!

Skitz, you're the best.

Oh, and about Madonna's armpit: as someone who looked at it up close, I --- actually, I've got nothing. I just wanted to point out - again - that I saw her live. Up close. And that she looked at me. And that the eye-contact made me develop a nasty case of brainfoot.

Posted by: Sofía at December 23, 2008 12:09 PM

Christmas Evil is a holiday classic! Boring as shit? I think not. For the lead performance alone it's worth watching, and that doesn't even account for the twisted narrative and happily ever after of it all.

Silent Night, Deadly Night, however, is one of the worst slasher films I've seen that was produced before 2000. This style of film is why horror is not respected as a film genre.

Posted by: Robert at December 23, 2008 12:13 PM

What makes a better stocking stuffer? A puppy or a baggie of heroin.

Discuss.

Posted by: greer at December 23, 2008 12:15 PM

Ah, BRAINFOOT. Thanks Skitz!

And I'm with Chez...can we just stop talking about them? I don't like one kid, much less eleventy bajillion.

Posted by: Smokin at December 23, 2008 12:23 PM

Noted that Stacey gets hot and bothered by economics. CSPAN is her Skin-e-max.

Fantastic work again, Skitz. With the vivid reds, you can almost taste the BRAINFOOT.

Posted by: branded at December 23, 2008 12:33 PM

I gotta say I'm with Chez on this one. I read a "similar" article over at Jezebel, but the approach they had was very different. Instead of complaining about the media attention the Duggars get, they were talking shit about the family itself, and that's just - to quote Jennifer Aniston - uncool.

So, bravo Chez for hitting the nail on the head. The problem is not that they're incredibly religious or that they have a bunch of kids. The problem is that the media are giving them too much air time. I admit that they deserve a mention or an article in a newspaper, but a reality show? (Granted nobody deserves a reality show)

Posted by: Sofía at December 23, 2008 12:36 PM

I don't know about teenage girls, but RPatt can seduce me any time, baby. Hair or no hair. Yeah.

Stocking puppy is pretty damn cute, but did you see Trivial Pursuit cat? Awesomely adorable.

2 cup sizes?! Jesus, if I went two cup sizes bigger I'd be knocking people over walking through a room. Also, since my feet wouldn't get any bigger, I'd probably fall over on my face. Although in that case, I'd have a nice cushion to break my fall. Anyway, how much does it really hold? Not enough, I'm sure. Not enough.

Oh, and branded, I'm totally using some of those lines. Thanks!

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 23, 2008 12:39 PM

All glory to BRAINFOOT! All hail BRAINFOOT!

Posted by: Snath at December 23, 2008 12:49 PM

Consider it an early birthday present, AvB! Hopefully using those lines will help you get a bailout from your clothes with a lucky fella.

Posted by: branded at December 23, 2008 12:50 PM

Skitz you need to get your stuff out there.
The beautiful, the majestic BRAINFOOT hopping about like an epileptic Gazell in it's native 'Jiban habitat. Foraging for it's favorite food, the ubiquitous asshat.

greer, the best stocking stuffer is a puppy in a baggie of heroin. Just make sure you remove the puppy before cooking the heroin. Otherwise you get that burnt hair smell and crying children. Trust me on this one.

Posted by: admin at December 23, 2008 1:06 PM

What, I'm away from the internet for one fucking day and this Brainfoot becomes a meme? how does that even happen?

And Greer? The answer is a baggie of heroin injected into a puppy. Just thought you should know.

Posted by: the_wakeful at December 23, 2008 1:08 PM

greer, I think we all know the best stocking stuffer would be a puppy that just ate the bag of heroin. Imagine the looks of delight on everyones face when they came downstairs Christmas morning and found Poopsy totally ripped out of his skull humping the cat!

Posted by: Psychophant at December 23, 2008 1:11 PM

What I really want is a brain-shaped Jello mold with a mannequin foot tray underneath. I serve that at Christmas, I'm guaranteed to be passed over on next year's lame holiday parties.

Should the person/persons that created that Thudercats trailer be reading this: I owe you many drinks, possibly ending with me drunkenly fumbling at your zipper in order to give you a hummer of appreciation. That was friggin' awesome!

Now, any chance you could do the same involving the female cast members from Buffy, a room covered in nothing but tarp and baby oil, and a ceiling swing/harness? I am willing to empty my bank account for this...

Posted by: Skitz at December 23, 2008 1:13 PM

Really Skitz?

The whole $12.93?

Posted by: admin at December 23, 2008 1:21 PM

Actually, admin, if you must know, the check from the clinic cleared, bringing my total to $32.93.

Hope all you lesbians enjoy having my babies!

Posted by: Skitz at December 23, 2008 1:26 PM

Hmmmm...Was I the only one who originally thought that Skitz' Brainfoot was a mushroom? I was? Aw, fuck me, I'm stupid.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at December 23, 2008 1:27 PM

I did too Jeremy! Want to run headfirst into walls together? It can only help!

Posted by: Julie at December 23, 2008 1:28 PM

That's just stellar work on the Thundercats trailer. Not only did it look pretty real, it's substantially more attractive than nearly every other trailer I've seen this year.

Thundercats, hoooooooooooooooh ... in my pants!

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at December 23, 2008 1:36 PM

I'm a long-time lurker here but I just want to say that BRAINFOOT is possibly one of the most wonderful things I've ever witnessed. Interesting how all of this started out with a tragic mal-formed child thing. Oh well, turn that frown upside down I always say.

Is it just me or is this current bloc of tween-agers obsessed with pansies? Gad, that "Twilight" kid looks like a wanna be boardwalk stalking ecstasy dealer, the pasty fuck.

And yes media, stop praising the fucking Duggars for not accomplishing a goddamn thing.

*deep inhale/exhale* Man, thanks for listening. I feel heaps better.

Posted by: Kali at December 23, 2008 1:39 PM

I don't think brainfoot is clever or funny. I don't find babies with health issues funny in the slightest, I doubt their parents do either. Spare a thought aye guys? It's okay, I can close the door on the way out.

Posted by: vab at December 23, 2008 1:39 PM

Skitz, you should make a lamp outa that thing. And then we can use it in our holiday movie with a cast of Pajibans.

Posted by: Cindy at December 23, 2008 1:42 PM

Many people use humor as a coping mechanism for that which is upsetting and/or disturbing.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 23, 2008 1:45 PM

The kid lived, vab, it's not like we're making light of a tragedy. Though that could be funny too.

Posted by: Snath at December 23, 2008 1:56 PM

You got $20.00 Skitz!? All they gave me is some stale cookies, a glass of orange juice and a restraining order.

Posted by: admin at December 23, 2008 1:59 PM

Yeeeeah, I'm sure everyone here has turned this into a joke as a way to cope with the sadness they are feeling. What bullshit. It's a cheap laugh at the expense of a sick baby, although I'm sure the parents (perhaps they are Pajiba readers?)would see the funny side. I guess I must have an underdeveloped sense of humour. Merry Christmas y'all.

Posted by: vab at December 23, 2008 1:59 PM

Vab, I am sorry to hear about your underdeveloped sense of humour. It is a disability that many people struggle with for their entire lives and it must be difficult for you. My prayers go out to you and yours during this holiday season. God willing, we will soon find a cure.

Stay strong.

Posted by: admin at December 23, 2008 2:17 PM

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm Canadian. So I had no idea who the Duggars were, until I sadly did some research. Doesn't anyone else see the humour in this situation? You have a happily married and devotedly faithful couple whose entire claim to fame is FUCKING! They get money from media outlets and corporations for the simple act of reproducing with your spouse? That's just like working in porn, isn't it? Getting paid to fuck? My fuckwit rightwing uncle has about 7 kids (I lost count), and now the oldest ones take care of the youngest - brilliant scam if you ask me. And if you can imagine the tax benefits for 18 kids and an unemployed wife, damn!

Posted by: Xtreme at December 23, 2008 2:18 PM

Thanks admin, it's nice to know you care. I'm praying that stem cell research will have a breakthrough soon. Good tidings to you and yours this holiday season.

Posted by: vab at December 23, 2008 2:39 PM

I'm not sure who I should feel more sorry for, the foot or the brain? Who might the foot have been? Will the brain ever be the same after the invasion? At least the brain can go on - but is it damaged?

And the parents - which support group to choose?

Posted by: Cindy at December 23, 2008 2:41 PM

Want to run headfirst into walls together? It can only help!

Posted by: Julie

HAAHAHAHAAAAA ooooooooooooh, Julie, I love you...

Posted by: Sofía at December 23, 2008 2:43 PM

We're not laughing at the baby, no one wants that to happen to a kid. We're laughing at the HORRIBLE BRAINFOOT TUMOR in the baby's brain.

Besides, this is the internet, people can be dicks. It shouldn't surprise you, especially at Pajiba. Go away and nurse your underdeveloped sense of humor. I hear "According to Jim" is really popular these days.

Posted by: Snath at December 23, 2008 2:45 PM

My fuckwit rightwing uncle has about 7 kids (I lost count), and now the oldest ones take care of the youngest - brilliant scam if you ask me.

Posted by: Xtreme

SO WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

*looks at family picture lovingly*
*and yes, I'm the sixth of 7 kids*
*oh, and my sister in law is the second of eleven kids*

Posted by: Sofía at December 23, 2008 2:48 PM

Listen, vab - the doodle isn't a cheap laugh at the expense of the baby. I can't possibly imagine what the parents must have been going through while the surgery was taking place. I'm happy as a pig in poo that the baby's doing good and has a friggin' story to end all stories for the rest of his life.

That being said, the doodle was done out of the sheer, absolute absurdity that somebody actually had a foot in their brain. IN THEIR GODDAM BRAIN! Not sure if you're a regular reader of the site, but in a place where MurderVehicles, Napalm Vaginas, Flesh Cheetos, Zombie Hordes, Taco Dip Fornication, Race Wars, and a friggin' Godtopus are regular occurrences, the idea of a humble Brainfoot trying to make ends meet in a world gone mad... well... COME ON! YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT!

These fine folk, despite the sheen of perverse... uh, pervertedness, are caring, friendly people who, while snarky as fuck, will be the first to dish out some genuinely heartfelt comments.

Except Conrad. He's just a dick.

Posted by: Skitz at December 23, 2008 2:53 PM

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm Canadian. So I had no idea who the Duggars were, until I sadly did some research....

No, No wait! Awww, it's too late. You Googled the uber breeders and now you have made them stronger. Don't you understand that if you ignore them they will go away? *Sigh* The more attention we give them, the more fertile they become. I bet they're pregnant with triplets now.

Thanks xtreme.

Posted by: greer at December 23, 2008 3:00 PM

Um, yeah, I guess you do have a point there Skitz, and you put it across rather nicely. In response I have just ordered: 'How to Funny in 7 Days' and 'The Comic's Toolbox, how to be funny even if you're not' from Amazon.

Posted by: vab at December 23, 2008 3:14 PM

Now I know what to give my brother for Christmas - heroin! Ok, so he's not an addict, but in his little country town, I bet the street value of good horse is high. He could cash it in, or maybe regift...

Ok, what is it with this Pattinson bloke? I have never seen such a huge disconnect between what a person looks like in their movie, and in RL. In the movie, sure, he's all pale and Maybellined to the gills, but still, he seems to have a pretty enough face.* In RL, from what I've seen, he's just fuckin scary!

*ok, yes, I've seen 'Twilight'. A friend bribed me with a bottle of wine to watch it with her. I thought it was adolescent shite. I don't think she appreciated my opinion and what it said about her taste.... ;-) (The wine was nice, though).

Posted by: Tarn at December 23, 2008 3:16 PM

All right, may I do a seriously random list for you guys. Genres that Hollywood should never be allowed to do again, like live action cartoon adaptations. Reply further if you'll let me do this, because now, there are three of these god damn things for the summer, and the fucking live action Avatar for 2010.

God, I hate this genre!

Posted by: George at December 23, 2008 3:16 PM

I hate the fucking Brainfoot meme, because I did not click on that link for a FUCKING REASON. I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW OR SEE WHAT IT WAS. AND NOW I HAVE A FUCKING VISUAL, EVEN IF IT IS CARTOONY.

Fuck all of you.

Posted by: Sabrina at December 23, 2008 3:43 PM

Say, Sabrina - would it help if I put the foot in an attractive heel or casual loafer, and maybe some googly eyes on the brain?

Posted by: Skitz at December 23, 2008 3:51 PM

Ooooh, googly eyes....I vote googly eyes.

Posted by: Smokin at December 23, 2008 3:52 PM

...stupidgoddamhtmlbullshit...

Posted by: Skitz at December 23, 2008 3:55 PM

Sofia - No point, really. I'm not implying that every person that has lots of kids is a fuckwit. I'm saying that religious rightwing assholes that have lots of kids are potential candidates for fuckwitdom. I hope you're not my cousin, either, because that would imply I think you're dad was a fuckwit. Which I don't. Unless he's my uncle.

Greer - Oh shit, why didn't I just ask you guys first! Dammit, why do I always follow through on my impulse to Google everything? Like that time I got fired because I was at work trying to look up an episode of The Shield from Season 3 nefariously titled "Bottom Bitch"...

Posted by: Xtreme at December 23, 2008 4:11 PM

Well shit, Skitz, how can I resist spike heels and googly eyes? I can't, that's how.

Posted by: Sabrina at December 23, 2008 4:13 PM

would it help if I put the foot in an attractive heel or casual loafer, and maybe some googly eyes on the brain?

Well, that'd work for me. I don't like looking at feet.

Posted by: Jay at December 23, 2008 5:39 PM

never thought i'd say this but:
skitz, you are absofuckinglutely brilliant!
*sigh*

Posted by: bionic bunny at December 23, 2008 6:06 PM

I've never heard of Thundercats (too young?) but the fact that the fake trailer did not include the song Thunderstruck makes it a big fat fail.

Posted by: ben (thpbt) at December 23, 2008 7:22 PM

ben, you fill me with an infinite sadness.

Posted by: Snath at December 23, 2008 7:31 PM

Oh, don't worry, Snath. He's just doin his job.

Posted by: Jay at December 23, 2008 7:52 PM

(sighs in relief that there were others who thought it was a mushroom at first)

Posted by: meaux at December 23, 2008 8:00 PM

My dad is religious and CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY right-winged. And he's not a fuckwit.

(yes, I will continue to take this personal even if the thread is dead, if only to prove people wrong on their stereotypes)

Posted by: Sofía at December 23, 2008 10:59 PM

Ya know, we like to make fun of the guys who live in their parents' basement and not wash so they can watch the 24-hour marathon of Three's Company, but if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have things like that Thundercats trailer.

The More You Know. (tm)

Posted by: Kayanne at December 24, 2008 12:14 AM

Amazing work Skittimus, my only question is what was the impetus for such a mesmerizing drawing? Such detail, such passion, you are truly gifted. Your work even rivals those of the masters, Dali, Renoir, and Monet. If I think hard enough the only drawing that can maybe top your masterpiece is that of the dogs playing billiards.

Posted by: Pookie at December 24, 2008 12:35 AM

Ouch and snap!

Posted by: Cindy at December 24, 2008 9:51 AM

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