Pajiba

"1 to 10? 1000. It wasn’t like ripping off a bandaid, it was like tearing off skin. I figured maybe I’d get some bumps after, but I did not expect my t-shirt and suddenly look like I just snuggled with Pinhead. I walked out of there, completely dazed, numb from the pain, and minutes later realized that I was bleeding through my shirt from hundreds of tiny holes. I looked like I’d just been through a medieval witch trial. I did it because honestly I was bored and figured why not. I wanted to see what I looked like without it, and to see how long it would take to grow back if I waxed it. It was just something that guys were doing, since this was the 90’s. And to tell you the truth, once the chest hair was gone, I kind of missed it. Luckily, a week passed and all was back to normal in the forest of Roth."

Eli Roth

That's exactly why I've never understood the female obsession with waxing? Is there anything you won't do for fashion or trend? Well, I guess if you're ok with inserting a pair of fake boobs inside your chest you should be ok with waxing.

I'm disappointed the bad Santa list doesn't mention the guy in Black Christmas. It's a great list though to get you in the Xmas spirit. Those clips are awesome. Gonna watch them again.

I do agree with freakonomics up there. I also think Madoff isn't a douchebag! Everyone who trusted him is! He's just a smart guy who swindled people and made millions, until he was caught at least.

The "female" obsession with waxing? Uh, check your genders, o-p. Maybe it's a generational thing, but in my circle of acquaintances, it's the men who are turned on by bare skin, not something the women do just because.

Standards of beauty in women usually don't start with what women want for themselves, though in time it may move over to that camp.

I do agree with freakonomics up there. I also think Madoff isn't a douchebag! Everyone who trusted him is! He's just a smart guy who swindled people and made millions, until he was caught at least.

Posted by: sleuth at December 22, 2009 1:26 PM

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Tell that to all the people who lost everything they had worked their whole lives for.

I also think Madoff isn't a douchebag! Everyone who trusted him is!
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Yeah Sleuth, you're right. Hitler wasn't a bad guy, it's just that nobody bought into his "vision". Please, the guy is a fucking crook. Now if you want to comment on the people who gave over their money as greedy or short sighted, that I can live with. But don't romanticize what this shady fucking burglar did to hundreds of people. It's not a crime to be stupid or duped, but it is a felony to do what Madoff did.

Ornament: Barbie on a Harley. Which I received as a gift about 5-6 years ago. She has streaky hair.
I suppose I received this because I have always wanted a motorcycle. Instead I got a boyfriend who has one.
It's not really shameful...it's a little nerdy though. Wonder where I put it.

I also think Madoff isn't a douchebag! Everyone who trusted him is!

I'm assuming this is a joke, and if it is, well played my good sir, well played.

Also, I totally have a Super Mario Christmas ornament of Mario in a Santa hat and the little yellow cape riding Yoshi (wearing an elf hat) to deliver a present to Princess Peach. I'm assuming it's the charm bracelet he needed to convince her to let him stick it in her ass.

Re: mini-dirve on shameful Christmas ornaments...

Stacey, I think that's adorable. I am ashamed of nothing since, as a German, I have nothing but tasteful ornaments on my tree.

Oh crap, I forgot about those dozens of cutesy plastic Hallmark store animals-doing-human-Christmasy-stuff ornaments--you know, like mice hanging from stockings and wolves singing carols. They're not my style but were given to me by a beloved and now late friend, so I cherish them. I just cherish them on the BACK of the tree.

I also have a stunningly gorgeous knight in armor (with flowing red cape) and a matching dragon (though the smoke he's supposed to be blowing looks more like a really bad sinus infection), given to me by my sister, and a beautiful glass sword given to me by my best friend, and while nerdy they're also totally my style and I love them. They're up front and center. Like I'm supposed to give a crap if people think I'm dorky at my age?

I'd love an ornament depicting three douches caught in a ski-lift while a wolf with a cunning little Christmas scarf paws at them from below.

Oh! And has anyone seen the terrible movie they made based on the Christmas Shoes song? It was on Lifetime or the Hallmark channel. Unsurprisingly, the mother was played by the gal in According to Jim.

Your mom is missing a name from that list. She must not realize that Han shot first.

Posted by: branded at December 22, 2009 1:45 PM

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As one of our distinguished Pajibans has explained to me, saying: "Han shot first" would give credence to the notion that Greedo somehow got to shoot. Something that we ALL know, never happened.

I have a Christmas ornament with a photo of Michael Bolton in his long-haired phase on it. Nothing will ever bring me to part with it, ever.

The animation on that Patton Oswalt babble was FANTASTIC. Sending that to folks. Thanks!!

Best Sinbad-themed line of dialogue ever, comes from It's Always Sunny... Dennis Reynolds: An Ertic Life

Charlie: "Man I hope he's wearing something made of windbreaker."

Madoff is a dickweasel but he couldn't have gotten a better name.
Madoff...
Made Off ...genius.

But no, seriously, he's a fucking dick.

Crap, now it's too late to add a Spike ornament to my Christmas list. I've also got a Serenity ornament, but that bad boy is too awesome to be confined to one holiday and graces the living room 24/7.

{sigh} JDW, you are a poet.

Excellent douchebag list, Jeremy. I was sure Glenn Beck would be number one, but your 3's, 2's, and 1's are amazingly, more deserving of the title.

The truth is, capitalism isn't a viable system for the 21st century, neither is communism, but the point is, every sensible nation, and many of the batshit ones, are all moving towards socialism. It's inevitable with modern technology, and every year worthless fucks like Joe Liberman delay the bill, we know they're killing people.

Hang the fuckers, and Glenn Beck. As for your anti-death penalty sensibilities, fuck that, these fuckers deserve the chair.

Hey George, I don't know what world you're living in but everything which is financially successful is run by the private sector. I seriously don't know where you're getting the idea that socialism is the future. Yeah, some companies have fucked up and unfortunately some of the companies were thought of as too big to fail (General Motors being just one example). They should have been left to file for bankruptcy instead of dishing out millions from people's pockets but anyway, as soon as they're back on their own two feet they will have to pay back their governments. Just because there are social services for the weak and just because governments decided to give some help to crippled companies it doesn't mean that the world is going socialist. Mark my words, capitalism will be back with a vengeance in no time.

Why did the Copenhagen summit fail miserably? There was nothing private companies could win if countries had legally binded themselves on reducing emissions. If you want something done successfully then you have to have private companies running it and ensure that there are profits involved.

Can't believe no one has mentioned that hilarious video yet. It's ace. Had never heard the Christmas Shoes song before but it's got me thinking we should all buy stripper pumps for every female we know as a Christmas present. Whether with Jesus or Satan you'll surely be dressed to please if you decide to go and meet Elvis on Christmas night.

We passed that Christmas Shoes video around the office at work (the Conservative Jewish college I work at.) Even the Jews know Christmas bullshit when they hear it. Every time I watch it I cry from laughing so hard.

George, unfortunately you're blinded by living in America, because you don't strictly know what capitalism or socialism is.

Socialism isn't fucking universal healthcare, as much as it isn't your postal service, police force or your local fucking libraries. US isn't heading towards socialism, it is just realising that it never really fucking knew what it was. McCarthy and Vietnam are your baggage.

The rest of the world? Doesn't really give a fuck about communism. Not really a problem. Too concerned with food and water shortages, and rising waters. Although, crazy fucks with a nuclear arsenal...

Furthermore, a free market system isn't pulling the USA out of the GFC, the government fucking buyouts and regulations did that (such as they are in your weird 'small gov' country). Free market would not have survived without worldwide financial stimulous.

In fact, it's fairly arguable USA doesn't even have a free market economy, in light of SEC, government regulations, etc. Just sayin'.

mouseyman checking in with the is-ought gap!

Most embarassing ornament? Take your pick. Our tree is a goddam shrine to pop culture holiness. I have a TIE-fighter, the Falcon (twice), Yoda, Batman, Marvin the Martian, Indiana Jones, Winnie the Pooh, Hulk, the Grinch, and Godzilla to name but a few. Best tree ever? Yes.

Also, I don't know if the bad Santas movie listed it (I'm guessing it did) but Santa's Slay is a gloriously awesome bad movie. Low budget slasher/comedy that works despite horrible acting. Emilie De Ravin (Claire on LOST) struggles mightily with an American accent and the opening scene is worth the rental alone. Lots of fun.