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Pajiba Love 12/22/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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A Bunch Of Holiday Links, Predictably

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | December 22, 2008 | Comments (26)

For everyone out there who already can’t wait for the holidays to be over, here are 42 holidays entertainments which won’t make you want to claw your eyes out in rage. (AV Club)

You know, I guess there’s a reason most people opt for Christmas cookies in lieu of Christmas cakes. (CakeWrecks)

And here is my early Christmas gift to you, my loyal readers. (Yeeeah!)

One of the members of the Hogan family was involved in a car accident. Sadly, it was only a minor fender bender and they all live to see another day. (WIMB)

Nobody ever said you had to be smart to be a pervert. (QuizLaw)

Clay Aiken was like, totally surprised that newborn babies pretty much need constant care and attention. (Celebitchy)

This is the perfect gift for the rabid Brangelina fan on your Christmas list. Wait, does anyone actually care about Brangelina enough to be a “rabid” fan. Well, regardless, here’s the goods. (GalleryOfTheAbsurd)

Aretha Franklin makes fat jokes about Aretha Franklin. Could you imagine Beyonce doing that in twenty years? Not fucking likely. (FourFour)

Here’s an inspiring little story about how the film Into the Wild motivated a guy to wake up and take charge of his life. (ASWOBA)

Jesus Christ. Are they really gonna bring out Ken motherfucking Starr out of hiding to head up the fight against gay marriage? (Deus Ex Malcontent)

If you’ve never wanted to punch Mary Kate Olsen in the face before — well, get ready to want to punch her in the face now! (DListed)

Stacking food on animals: Really funny or really mean? I’d say it’s 80% hilarious and 20% cruel. (SeriousEats)

They just had to go and invoke the name of that terrible, terrible song, didn’t they? (Jezebel)

What’s the protocol of giving exes Christmas gifts when they have a new significant other? Personally, I am usually fine with my boyfriends being friends with their exes, as long as they’re not, say, actively trying to break up the relationship. (MixTapeTherapy)

Wait, Blockbuster still actually exists? (GalleySlaves)

Here is the Twilight saga, as told by puppets. Or as Jeremy said, “if you haven’t seen it yet, this saves you $10 and two hours”:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

OH CHRIST, the "OH" cupcakes made a lot of unpleasant noise just come out of my mouth. Also, I want some fruitcake.

Amy does look pretty healthy actually.

I think Dustin's pretending to be a little naive about perverts though.

That McCartney song came on last night in a restaurant. My friend opposite me and I both lamented how successfully we'd so far dodged it, only to now suffer.

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 12:10 PM

We have a Blockbuster in my town, but it's literally half the size it was a few years ago. The other half got turned into a Starbucks.

Honestly? If I never hear about fucking Twilight again I will be a happy woman. I could stand to hear it again if I meet Robert Pattinson and he's all "I just bathed for the first time since shooting Twilight, wanna get me dirty again?"

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at December 22, 2008 12:11 PM

the puppet twilight video really cracked me up.

Posted by: gem at December 22, 2008 12:27 PM

One of the members of the Hogan family was involved in a car accident. Sadly, it was only a minor fender bender and they all live to see another day.

Now WHY would you wish pain on Jason Bateman, or even Sandy Duncan for that matter? Why I am so outraged...*reads actual story*...oh...the actual Hogan family, not the lovable 80's sitcom Hogan Family.

I've made a huge mistake. Carry on, Ms. Nosek. You're doing a bang up job.

Posted by: Mike R. at December 22, 2008 12:33 PM

Mike, I almost started yelling at the TV when listening to Edgar Wright mention on a "Spaced" commentary that odd things got syndicated to the UK and so they know obscure shows very well over there. He said he stunned Jason Bateman when he mentioned "It's Your Move" to him. That and "Jennifer Slept Here" are the shows no one remembers when I mention them. It was an odd moment of kinship and confusion for me.

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 12:37 PM

Genny (Also Rusty): I'm pretty sick of it too, but Godtopus help me, I fucking LOVE puppets! And now that Robert Pattinson lost the stupid Wishing Troll hair, he actually looks pretty (dare I say) hot.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at December 22, 2008 12:49 PM

Note to Hollywood:

Given your recent horrendous obsession with remaking everything, whether it is warrented or not, please take this advice; anything, and I mean anything, can be made better with puppets.

If you are remaking a movie that already had puppets, use puppets of the puppets. The rate of improvement increases exponetially in relation to the number of puppet puppets used.

Also, puppet.

Posted by: admin at December 22, 2008 12:58 PM

Come on, Stacey. Nothing says Christmas like a suicidal Santa cake.

Posted by: Nicole at December 22, 2008 1:05 PM

And here is my early Christmas gift to you, my loyal readers. (Yeeeah!)

Worst Christmas gift ever.

Posted by: Dave at December 22, 2008 1:22 PM

Hey Stacey- I was reading the Sunday Tribune and Supernatural was listed as number six for the best 10 TV shows of 2008 (cross-listed with Torchwood and Dr. Who, but still).
See, people? SEE? It is a good show.

Posted by: serena at December 22, 2008 1:39 PM

Hey Stacey- I was reading the Sunday Tribune and Supernatural was listed as number six for the best 10 TV shows of 2008 (cross-listed with Torchwood and Dr. Who, but still).
See, people? SEE? It is a good show.

Posted by: serena at December 22, 2008 1:39 PM

Hey Stacey- I was reading the Sunday Tribune and Supernatural was listed as number six for the best 10 TV shows of 2008 (cross-listed with Torchwood and Dr. Who, but still).
See, people? SEE? It is a good show.

Posted by: serena at December 22, 2008 1:40 PM

I only pressed the button once, I swear!

Posted by: serena at December 22, 2008 1:41 PM

I've seen a double post, but a triple post is a new one for me.

Posted by: Snath at December 22, 2008 1:52 PM

What are you implying about Doctor Who though? Hmm?

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 1:54 PM

I like to go that extra mile, Snath.
Wasn't implying anything about the good Doctor, Jay- only that Supernatural shared its spot with two other fantasty/sci-fi shows.

Posted by: serena at December 22, 2008 2:03 PM

"Hey Stacey- I was reading the Sunday Tribune and Supernatural was listed as number six for the best 10 TV shows of 2008 (cross-listed with Torchwood and Dr. Who, but still).
See, people? SEE? It is a good show."

Well that settles it, no need to bother watching Doctor Who or Torchwood now...

Posted by: Xtreme at December 22, 2008 2:19 PM

Well it sounded like you meant Supernatural had been given an underhanded compliment....look what you've done to Xtreme there! It's like you've told her/him there's no Santa!

Tragic!! I hope your beefcakes with fake sounding names and you have a merry Christmas together!!

Posted by: Jay at December 22, 2008 2:51 PM

That "early Christmas gift" was an abomination, Stacey - I'm sure you got a big laugh out of that, whilst the rest of us just puked. Winehouse could have the most perfect tits in the world, and all I'd think was "Gah! What a sad, horrible waste of perfect tits!"

However, last week's 'Zooey boobies' pic makes up for an awful lot, so I'll take these pics in the spirit they're intended - to make us all puke, yes of course, but also to always be at the ready with our mouses to click away from these 'surprises' you drop on us ASAP!

Posted by: TMax at December 22, 2008 3:29 PM

I have no desire to see Twilight, so that puppet video satisfied all my curiosity. Puppets do make everything better.

My favorite episode of Angel was the one where he turned into a puppet.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 22, 2008 4:10 PM

"You're a wee little puppet man!"

Posted by: twig at December 22, 2008 4:22 PM

BWeaves, I'm about 2 episodes away from that one on my (fourth? fifth?) rewatching of season 5.

I have long believed that puppets do, in fact, make everything better. And now, there is physical evidence. Puppets omg.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 22, 2008 6:15 PM

Hey Stacey- I was reading the Sunday Tribune and Supernatural was listed as number six for the best 10 TV shows of 2008...

Only number six? I'd beg to differ.

Hmph.

Posted by: Stacey at December 22, 2008 6:29 PM

You know why I know Blockbuster still exists? Because my fiance and I have been there 4 times this month just to play Guitar Hero for free... because we're too poor for a Wii. We've also been loitering at Toys 'R Us a lot. Thank goodness it's Christmas shopping season or we'd probably have to find something else to do with our sad lives.

Posted by: Melissa at December 22, 2008 7:38 PM

Oh god, the Angel puppet episode. If ever there was a perfect marriage of puppets and vampires...

Posted by: serena at December 22, 2008 9:50 PM

Man, I'd totally forgotten about that Angel puppet episode. Hilarious. But puppet Twilight was pretty good, too. Those subtitles needed some proofreading, though.

Posted by: Slash at December 23, 2008 12:48 AM





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