free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 12/16/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

zooeyd.jpg


She’s Not Your Whore, Just An Actress Who Will Stoop To Literally Anything To Pay The Bills

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | December 16, 2008 | Comments (41)

Zooey Deschanel won’t be happy until she effectively shits all over every last remaining bit of indie cred she has left. (Evil Beet)

Brendan Fraser is hair-raising! Or whatever other stupid pun you can use to describe the redonkulous mess going on with the top of his head. (WIMB)

And on that note, it’s true… Pictures of dogs definitely do a better job of selling hair plugs than actual examples of celebrities with hair plugs. (AgentBedhead)

Awwwwwwww, more puppies! Check out Joe Biden’s Vice Presidential puppypants! (Celebitchy)

Hey, it might have been an accident… I’m not even making this up, but one time when I was five I put a plastic bag over my little sister’s head to try to get her to stop crying. I swear I didn’t know any better — that is, until my mom beat the living shit out of me. Lesson learned. (QuizLaw)

Today is Hamm-demonium on Pajiba! On that note, which hairstyle do you like the best for John Hamm? (BestWeekEver)

Yeah, yeah. Facebook is great and all, but I don’t give a shit about the compsci fratboys who created it and I sure as hell don’t want to hear their story. (Deus Ex Malcontent)

If you weren’t already aware, Lily Allen makes everything better. (IDLYITW)

This is straight up food-porn, right here. Is it possible to have a pierogiegasm? Yup, that’s the Polish in me talking. (TIB)

See, this is the stuff of which minds are boggled. You can actually buy fake nipples to wear over your bra so you have headlights all the time. I hate having headlights in public. There is nothing more embarrassing. (Yeeeah!)

Here are the Top Ten Douchebags of 2008. I have to admit, I didn’t think he’d be able to follow up numbers 20 through 11, but it’s an impressive list. (NotesOnBarNapkins)

One of our own goes undercover to a — gasp — Madonna concert. (WorldForSofia)

In the battle between PETA and Kid Rock, there are no winners, because I want to set them both on fire. (cityrag)

Bret Michaels just beat out Tyra Banks as the Most Photoshopped Celebrity Ever. Oh, I’m kidding, Bret Michaels is barely a celebrity. (Jezebel)

I know the Twilight bullsit is losing it’s cultural timeliness, but I couldn’t help posting this bit about the correlation between young women and the sexiness appeal-having of vampires. Because, even those of us who were too good for Twilight may or may not have had it for Spike or Angel at some point. Discuss. Thanks, Tamatha!


Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


← Knowing Trailer | What Doesn't Kill You Review →



Comments

Deschanel can do no wrong in my book. Although to keep her indie fan base, the best course of action would be for her to kill Katy Perry in a cage match... A topless cage match. With a picnic basket fulla silicone floppity doo-dads that look like wieners in all the colors of the rainbow...

I have to have some alone time now.

Posted by: Skitz at December 16, 2008 12:14 PM

I posted this on the Nic Cage thread, but thought it deserved to be said again: Amazon's Gold Box deal for today is The Complete Series of Arrested Development for $28.44 (normally $109.94).

COME ON!!

Posted by: Se7en2 at December 16, 2008 12:16 PM

The only reason I wore bras during the long, sad years before I got boobs (they lasted until I was 21) was so I could PREVENT nippling from happening. It makes me uncomfortable, and I get the feeling it's distracting to others around me as well, given that I notice when others are flashing "headlights". Strange, strange people in the world.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at December 16, 2008 12:16 PM

Gah!!! I know you lovely Pajiboverlords have no control over the ads on the site, so this is not directed at you at all, but I just have to say:

What in the holy hell makes PETA think it's okay to put up an ad showing a bloody dead bunny rabbit? That is completely uncool of them. Kids (and bleeding-heart animal lovers who have owned pet bunnies and still carry a soft spot for them) can see this crap, dammit. That is just effing sick. Save it for your own godtopus-damned website, jacktards.

Posted by: meaux at December 16, 2008 12:29 PM

Oh, and thanks in advance for recommending I use the ad-blocker in Firefox, but I'm at work and use IE. It'll be mercifully blocked from my eyes when I get home.

Posted by: meaux at December 16, 2008 12:31 PM

See, Stacey? Told ya so! Teeheehee...

I'm sure this is gonna sound kinda incriminatin' and all, but I don't wear underwear, which is kind of like the male equivalent of bras. I think. Are they?

Also, I loved the vampire video. "Do you want the burrito or not?" Though for the record, I have mad crushage on Angel. Spike is alright, but he doesn't do it for me, and Douchebag McBadhair is kind of a bonerkiller.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at December 16, 2008 12:33 PM

I'd actually much rather see the bloody bunny carcass than the Pamela-Anderson's-skanky-ass-PETA-ad it replaced. I think my eyes contracted gonorrhea after having to stare at that for the last 3 months. It's cool though ladies, I've got an ointment.

Posted by: Ernesto at December 16, 2008 12:37 PM

I almost wish I could be surprised, but almost all Zooey Deschanel ever does is movies I don't want to see. There's a few that might be good that I've missed, but I get so used to ignoring that it's hard to slam on the brakes and pay attention.

Those are some amazing shoes Lily's got on. Impractical heel, sure, but it's the pump style choice that warms my heart.

Is Mrs. T's related to the Mr. & Mrs. T's cocktail mixes? The box reminds me of that box of frozen knishes where this kid looks positively delighted to be holding one, about to eat it. As well he should. I gotta get some more of those, it's been too long.

Posted by: Jay at December 16, 2008 12:38 PM

I'm sure this is gonna sound kinda incriminatin' and all, but I don't wear underwear, which is kind of like the male equivalent of bras. I think. Are they?

There must be some term for the male going commando equivalent to the "headlights" or "high beams"?

If not, stick with the car theme, and I say we call it "driving with the hood up."

Posted by: branded at December 16, 2008 12:39 PM

Can I be the first to thank Sophia for courageously braving the front lines to bring us a first-hand account of the current state of Mumm-Ra's Hairy Manilow?

Let us know when the nightmares stop.

Posted by: Clee Shay at December 16, 2008 12:41 PM

male going commando equivalent

Yeah, it's "Daaaaad! Don't wear those shorts!" Even at home, if someone else is in the building it's no good.

Posted by: Jay at December 16, 2008 12:42 PM

Touche, Ernesto. Optical STDs aren't fun.

Posted by: meaux at December 16, 2008 1:03 PM

There must be some term for the male going commando equivalent to the "headlights" or "high beams"?

branded, I believe that's referred to as "moose knuckle," and is more akin to the female phenomenon known as "camel toe."

Going commando and "standing at attention," however, I believe is known as "sexual assault." (Unless you're wearing really, really tight pants, in which case it could be called "the main vein squeeze.")

Posted by: Sean at December 16, 2008 1:05 PM

Jesus Christ, that PETA ad is killing me. I would far rather look at Pam Anderson's naked ass than that. I already know what they do to animals skinned for fur, and I already don't buy fur. I don't need to see that. Please stop making me want to skin all the members of PETA for a coat, m'kay?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at December 16, 2008 1:30 PM

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.....

Posted by: admin at December 16, 2008 1:51 PM

some term for the male going commando equivalent

It's called 'pitching a tent people'. Jeez you'd think it had never happened to you before.

Posted by: admin at December 16, 2008 1:56 PM

I don't understand. If you wanted your nipples to show wouldn't you just not wear a bra? Or buy sheer bras that do nothing to hide them? Why would you spend additional money to buy fake nipples when you have (hopefully) two real ones for free? The shit people spend money on.....

Posted by: Jeni at December 16, 2008 1:57 PM

I'm a vegetarian (who hates PETA) and that bunny ad doesn't bother me at all. I've laughed at Itchy and Scratchy cartoons that were more graphic than that. Come on people, grow up. This is where your food and leather goods come from.

Besides, nekkid Pamela Anderson creeps me the hell out. I think I've seen her labia trying to escape from a sparkle "bathing suit" at least ten times in the 24 hours. Of course, she was supposed to be helping a magician, so maybe it was supposed to to be trying to escape.

Fake Sparkle Dali made me crack up when he immitated that Twilight poster.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 16, 2008 2:01 PM

"I believe that is called al-fresco"

Love me some Lily

Posted by: tdehr at December 16, 2008 2:06 PM

*melts*

Posted by: I-heart-Zooey at December 16, 2008 2:08 PM

Re the PeTA nasty: "Bunnies have their throats cut and their heads hacked off, and they scream in agony as they are skinned alive."

With their heads hacked off?! Damn! YouTube, here I come.

Posted by: Jerce at December 16, 2008 2:09 PM

Believe me, BWeaves, I know the cold hard facts about where food and leather and fur come from (and am an omnivore), but I still think that's hugely inappropriate on PETA's part. It's an actual cuddly-wuddly ex-bunny rabbit, not an over-the-top cartoon.

[shrill Mrs. Rev. Lovejoy voice] Won't someone please think of the children?[/shrill Mrs. Rev. Lovejoy voice]

Mind you, I'm not trying to say that Pam Anderson is a better alternative for family viewing....

Posted by: meaux at December 16, 2008 2:15 PM

On my computer here at work, all ads are blocked, so I'm spared the PETA pic.

But that breathtaking display of Zooey boobage is crystal clear and now burned into my memory.

Am I blessed or what?

Posted by: TMax at December 16, 2008 2:27 PM

Another thing, re: DEAD BUNNY PETA AD

Given the right alignment when you click through to a page here, it looks like I'm smirking at the slaughtered bunny rabbit in the Pajiba T-Shirt ad. In real life, I suppose it wouldn't be that far from how I would naturally react to a rabbit with a colombian neck-tie... Elmer Fudd is a close friend of mine, and the rabbit really had it coming.

Posted by: Ernesto at December 16, 2008 2:29 PM

Huh, so you are. That is pretty funny, Ernesto, you heartless SOB, you. (Columbian neck-tie? *snicker* I may have to use that...)

Oh, if only I were as entranced by Zooey-boobage as you, TMax....Dammit, do I have to spend the rest of my workday on the RDJ vs. Wolverine thread? Well, shucks.

Posted by: meaux at December 16, 2008 2:56 PM

Mmmmm. Spike AND Angel. Would make for a very bitey dead man sandwich.

Ahem.

I'll, uh...be in the other room for a few minutes.

Whooooeeee.

Posted by: Iris at December 16, 2008 2:59 PM

I'm just curious as to where that photo is actually from. I mean, I can't imagine any kind of efficient, industrial bunny-killing process (as one would presumably see in the fur industry) involving slitting the rabbit's throat before letting it bleed out on the ground, then dumping it there long enough for PETA to take a photo. Not that I'm suggesting that the fucknut lunatics who run PETA would kill a rabbit to serve their own need to shock and tittillate...wait, actually, that's exactly what I'm suggesting. I mean, the more extremist animal rights groups in the UK have dug up people's dead relatives and left them on their doorsteps - why not this?

It also probably says a lot about me that I keep flashing back to the Tiny Toons - watch this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ln5pGEwk_rU, or the first few seconds at least.

Posted by: Shay at December 16, 2008 3:28 PM

Oh, and I'll give you the Angel-love, but not Spike. Partially because I find the character annoying, partially because of finding out back when I was 16 that he was in his 40s (now that's a bonerkiller), partially because Marsters always comes off in real life as an utter tool.

Posted by: Shay at December 16, 2008 3:31 PM

When I was a little tyke I once drew a face on a plastic grocery bag to make a mask, like those kids on my shows did with paper bags, just a little more suffocate-y. I only wore it for a little bit, and I turned out perfectly normal. Well, the fact that I drew a face on a plastic bag and shoved it on my head is a good indicator of how "normal" I was to begin with.

Posted by: Erin S at December 16, 2008 3:37 PM

Leather Daddy Hamm looks strangely like Gerard Butler.

Posted by: Zuzu at December 16, 2008 3:42 PM

I once watched this PETA video about expolited, screaming, bleeding cows, and it really upset me...

and then Whoopi Goldberg showed up and I realized I was watching The View.

Posted by: J_Capri at December 16, 2008 3:43 PM

I didn't know you modeled and made the shirts, Enesto. That is cool beans. I did know they were made in Minneapolis, though. Goooo Minnesota!

Cold enough for you? And now it's snowing. Oh I can't wait to drive home.

Posted by: Snath at December 16, 2008 4:32 PM

Not the bunnies...ew...I'm so glad I don't eat rabbits.

Posted by: ph at December 16, 2008 4:34 PM

Indie Street Cred is an illusion.

Posted by: Haystacks at December 16, 2008 4:45 PM

Thank you Thank you Thank you se7en2, I bought 2 even though I think everyone I know who loves the show already owns them.

Posted by: jamiepants at December 16, 2008 5:09 PM

i'm glad i didn't have to be the first to complain about the peta ad.
yeah, i'm a house rabbit advocate, and yeah, i fucking hate peta.
and i AM completely aware of what happens to fur and meat rabbits.
isn't there anything we can do about that? over the top and typically sensationalistic. i hope someday when the animals DO rise up, they lead the peta folks off to the slaughter first, you know, for the photo ops.

Posted by: bionic bunny at December 16, 2008 8:55 PM

That Hamm hairdo thing cracked my shit up far more than anything else I've seen all day.

And between slaughtered bunny and Pam Anderson's ass: that's a poser. They're both kinda unsightly.

Posted by: Slash at December 17, 2008 12:13 AM

good day!Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman have sugar daddy?Different person has different style,
you can experience the net site www.sugerbabymatch.com you can sign up for free. it is very good a place!HAVE A TRY!!!!

Posted by: Amanda at December 17, 2008 1:38 AM

good day!Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman have sugar daddy?Different person has different style,
you can experience the net site www.sugerbabymatch.com you can sign up for free. it is very good a place!HAVE A TRY!!!!

Posted by: Amanda at December 17, 2008 1:40 AM

I heart Lily Allen.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at December 18, 2008 1:12 AM

Dude, those fucking pierogis ARE crack. Yummy, cheesy crack.

Posted by: jM at December 18, 2008 11:58 AM