Suck It, Jack Thompson
Just to suck all the wind out of those sails, want to guess how much the new Reese Witherspoon rom-com cost? Higher! No, higher! Nope, still higher! You know what? You're probably better off not knowing because holy shit is it ever depressing. (Film Drunk)
Here's Roger Ebert explaining why the MPAA rating system is rated F for FUCKED. I actually had an argument with a friend about this yesterday, wherein his basic argument was "movie trailers are misleading, and I shouldn't have to do research about what I let my kids see or bring into the house." Can you tell he doesn't actually have any kids? (WallStreetJournal)
Black Swan and Showgirls: Two great tastes that taste great together! Sort of like foie gras on a Ritz cracker, only without the inescapable sense that your dietary choices are the reason you're alone. (popbytes)
Remember how Javier Bardem was all gung-ho about making a guest appearance on "Glee"? Yeah, that might not be happening after all. Sadly, the idea of sticking Anton Chigurh in a high school went over about as well as you'd expect. (Agent Bedhead)
Some asshole decided to break into the Harvard library and piss all over the LGBT section, because clearly the destruction of knowledge and literature isn't enough, so let's make it a hate crime too! (Towleroad)
I'm not sure what was said on this Indian talkshow that would make two guests get into a violent slap fight, all I know is that (A) it's still better than watching Outsourced, and (B) they couldn't afford a desk, so they used CGI desk instead. Hilarious. (Warming Glow)
What happens when you unleash a mob of zombies onto a crowd of drunks? You get Octoberfeast, and it's exactly as awesome as it sounds. (ShadowLocked)
Katie Holmes is apparently pissed at Anne Hathaway's killer impression of her on SNL. She's also pretty pissed that she got married to a closeted homo who believes in space ghosts, but that's a story for another day. (Celebitchy)
Look! Peyton Manning has a different Manning face when he's looking at his teammates junk. (Ugly Fours)
Here's the first half of the 100 best tracks of the year. How the hell is Sade's Soldier of Love not higher on the list? Seriously, the woman has still got it. Not to mention the fact that I don't think she's actually aged a single year in the span of her career. (Pitchfork)
Paris Hilton went out and bought herself a $245,000 Rolls Royce yesterday. Fuck all of you. *Sticks gun in mouth, pulls trigger* (Celebslam)
Here are 30 cute illustrations about simple facts of life. Because "Learn to think critically, you stupid fuck" is a lot easier to handle when you have pictures of adorable bunnies to help that medicine go down! H/T mswas (GraphicBuzz)
Oh look, another nugget of Christmas goodness, courtesy of a clip from Invader Zim I've replayed something like 500 times over the space of the weekend. Remember to follow the happy bouncing moose kids, or the almighty Santa will deck the halls with your entrails!
Jeremy Feist is Pajiba's resident link slave and holiday hoe. You can send him links here.