The 2010 Golden Douchebag Awards
Here are the 10 most irreplaceable comedic performances in movies. Oh Leslie Nielsen... You could read the liner notes of a Nine Inch Nails album and it would still be funny. (Cracked)
You know what's more irritating than one Lady Gaga? Nine Lady Gagas in the world. I mean sure, technically eight of them are made of wax, but still, that is just too close to life-like for my own good. (popbytes)
If, like everyone else capable of feeling pain, you have never in your life wanted to hear how Lindsay Lohan was conceived, well too bad because Michael Lohan will tell you anyway. SPOILER ALERT! A drug binge was involved because of fucking course it was. (Agent Bedhead)
You can't be a know-it-all if you're wronger more than you're righter. That's not actually true in the world of fantasy football, but whatever. Start V-Jax. Go ahead. I dare you. (Ugly Fours)
The Westboro Baptist Church has decided to picket Elizabeth Edwards' funeral because... well, it's what they do. Seriously, if you ever understand how these people work, it is too late for you. And on a side-note, YOU AIN'T GOT NO PANCAKE MIX! (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)
So CNN was running a segment on tuition and taxes and yadda yadda yadda when they accidentally aired the scene from Dumb and Dumber where Jeff Daniels has diarrhea. Wonder if Chez still resents being fired for blogging? (Warming Glow)
At this time of year, The Salvation Army would very much like it if you donated toys to needy children for Christmas. Unless you're donating Harry Potter or Twilight toys, in which case you can just take your homosexual black magic and fuck right off. (Calgary Herald)
Hey look, there's now video of Miley Cyrus smoking from a bong. Ummmm... Gasp? Oh who are we kidding here. Anyone who has never toked, please step to the front of the line so we can all laugh at you. (Celebitchy)
Ladies and gentlemen, behold the batshit insanity that is the Xena Christmas special! The only Christmas special ever made where someone decides that hula hooping is a legitimate form of self-defense. (Comics Alliance)
Oh how nice, they made a new prosthetic arm that looks just like a tentacle, and now I can't decide whether I should make a "tentacle rape" joke or a Cthulhu joke. You know what? I'll do 'em both better and say that this was invented by the Godtopus. Praised be his inky goodness! (Gamma Squad)
I know we're all still mourning the death of "Terriers" here, but if its any consolation, they just cancelled The Hasselhoffs too. Bummer, huh? Yeah not really. (Dlisted)
So apparently, Christina Aguilera's new strategy for pimping Burlesque: Leaked photos! Look, if the movie were half as entertaining as the ensuing comment thread from the review, I would be all over that shit. (Celebslam)
So by now you all know that my achilles heels include cute dogs and Christmas, right? Well you can all thank Lauren for finding a video that combines the two.
Jeremy Feist is Pajiba's resident link slave and hooker with a heart of gold. You can email him links here.