Pajiba

That doggie is retarded. Cute, but retarded.

I question that BK fried funnel cake review, seemed more like slam job against Burger King, I could tell because he took a swing at the fries, BK fries rock. Now Wendy's fries...

/runs to Burger King

CHRISTMAS COME EARLY!

God Damn, that GIF is amazing.

Cant.Stop.Watching.

Will somebody PLEASE explain to me *why* some Unitedstatians feel the need to deep-fry EVERYTHING? WHY?!! Seriously, why? What's the point?

Remember how last year they discovered a way to deep-fry Coca-Cola? It's been months and I'm still trying to wrap my head around that.

Many of you might think, "does deep-frying stuff need a reason?" I say yes. Yes, dammit! AND I WANNA KNOW THAT REASON.

I'm so pissed off that I'm giggling. Fo' shizzle.

AND I WANNA KNOW THAT REASON.

Because it tastes good. Just ask the Scots. It's hardly just an American thing.

Today is a very scary day for teh Interwebs.

OMG some of those Santas look like murderers.

As I am not well acquainted with Mix Tape Therapy, I read "Ms. Mix and Bitch" and immediately thought of Gwyneth Paltrow.

Sketchy Santas is...amazing, just amazing.

Considering Gatorade's target audience, you'd think Tiger's recent exploits would make him more valuable as a pitchman.

Ummmm did anyone else notice the Darth Vader dildo? How? What? I'm just confused. That thing looked bulky and odd, not pleasure inducing.

The punch to the face...while funny...I felt was a little harsh for a guy to be hitting a girl. He wailed on her like he was hitting a man. Not to say there is a proper way to hit a girl. Of course, open palm is punishment, backhand is abuse.

People deep-fry things because they can. The weirder the food item, the more they wanna do it. It's what people do instead of ending poverty or curing cancer.

I hope one day to alternately deep-fry and stuff with cheese some food item so many times that when it's done, it will be a head-sized ball of deep-fried cheese with _______ in the middle, like one of those Russian nesting dolls. Haven't decided on what the food item will be. Will take suggestions.

Posted by: Sofía at December 9, 2009 1:27 PM

We figure that we'll all die of fatal diahreea by 2017 down here in the U.S., if that is to be our fate, we might as well die in style.

Battle Royale II was finished after the director of the original, Kenji Fukasaku, sadly passed away two or three days into filming. His son took over and tried to piece together a very discordant screenplay. We'll never know if every single death was supposed to last approximately 9 hours or if the rugby playing teacher was supposed to be that over the top. The best scene is the only one Kenji Fukasaku worked on directly: the rules establishing scene that was used in the trailer. It's killer.

OH. MAH. GAWD. I had a couple of bitchy comments lined up about Jessica Simpson/Billy Corgan and the Jersey Shore gif (which plays in slo-mo on my phone), but then I saw THAT picture of Bowie followed by Christian Bale in a suit followed by Johnny Depp in Tim Burton drag and my mind went fucking blank. No joke, it took me like two minutes to remember how to spell 'Johnny'. And instead of 'went', at first I typed 'wet'. It's a good thing I was sitting down when I saw that list.

Whew. Is it hot in here?

I remember being taken to Santa as a child and thinking how cool it was. I look back now realizing that most of those guys were probably plucked from homeless shelters and it's a little scary. Some of those sketchy Santas look like they are either drunk or smell or both. Also, simply going off the look on their faces, who ever thought it was a good idea to put a senior citizen in a Santa suit and proceed to dump a bunch of bratty children on their laps? Most people over 60 tend to go batshit crazy over loud noises. My grandma won't let me take my dog over to her home because the mobile park community has a rule about dogs barking. Apparently it's a serious rule because one of the tenants went so far as to have their dogs vocal chords removed (at least that's what I'm told). Horrifying.

I love funnel cake.

Posted by: pereka (called birdy) at December 9, 2009 2:30 PM

I love funnel cake too, but I save that love for street fairs or Knott's Berry Farm. Burger King should not make funnle cake available to us on a daily basis. It makes the whole expereince less special and the excuse "when will I get another chance to have funnel cake" will stop working.

STAY AWAY FROM THE THINGS THAT I CHERISH OR THERE WILL BE (SEVERE) CONSEQUENCES!

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman

Don't worry baby, I PROMISE I won't be sucked in by the big tittays and blonde extensions. My love for you remains unwavering. Now, quote John Denver lyrics to me, and say it right to my soul...

That was a pretty damn brutal punch to the face. I actually found it kind of terrifying. I don't care what kind of person she is, I don't even care if it was a man on the other side of that, the way that guy just casually turned around with NO WARNING and punched a person THAT HARD is not even a little bit funny to me.

Yeah, I'll go sit in the "no fun" corner now. Whatever. There's no way that girl could even come close to deserving that.

Fried Things: That is damn near the SOLE purpose of going to the County
Fair each year. Seeing what new, odd item they've decided to deep-fry
(and charge you $8 a piece). Good Times. We call the pilgrimage, "Things
on a Stick Day".

Zoey in the Tub: The dog's obviously bored silly. You see how he keeps
pausing for a second, like he's listening for Dad to switch off the 10th
football game of the day, get up off the Barcalounger and go outside for
Puppah-Doggie-Funtimes. Geeez. [woof]

Holy shit she got punched hard. Yow. Her head snapped back about a mile. Eek. I mean, just being called "snooki" would make me want to punch her in the face but I wouldn't actually DO it.

Ouch. Scary, like Genny said. Maybe if I watched the thing I'd feel some satisfaction...

Sweet, I've only heard the Glee songs from that list. And although they work perfectly on the show, I don't think I'd ever listen to them outside that context.

Oh, and I love how Robert De Niro is dressed in Casino. Mobsterlicious with bizarre ties.

For my PrincEss of the NorthwEst-

I am the son of a grassland farmer,
western Oklahoma 1943....
I always felt grateful to live in the land of the free....

What are we making weapons for?
Why keep on feeding the war machine?
We take it right out of the mouths of our babies,
we take it away from the hands of the poor,
tell me, what are we making weapons for?

JD's best shit EVER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgMRrqeXe5A

And once again, Jessica, you fucking harlot.

JDW: Not his sexiest work, but I'll take what I can get.
I'm still flying on the Lloyd Dobbler high from yesterday, so I'm good.
I tell ya, if I ever meet a man in real life that is as sweet talkin' as you are, I am IN. TROUBLE.

Because I think that gif and the inexplicable glee it seems to cause in some people is fucking terrifying.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits
------------------------------------------------
I agree Pinky, she might be a trashed out, greased up version of a female human, but she is still a female human. I'll admit I watched it for the sake of watching it, but I didn't get nearly the enjoyment out of it as some. That's not to judge, it's just that violence against anyone isn't what gets me off.

Sofía - we deep fry because it makes it taste better. Seriously. What doesn't taste better after it's been dipped in batter and tossed in hot oil? Nothing, that's what. And sure, maybe we'll all die young with horrible cholesterol levels, but we'll die well fed and happy.

In no way do I condone violence against anyone, men or women, but damn if that chick getting punched in the face didn't crack my shit up. I saw it last week in a preview and rewound and watched it like 5 times. Maybe it's because these 'reality' shows on MTV are so fake anyway, it kind of feels not real.

@dr. pisaster & katy:

For real? What IS it with the tub? My kitten loves to jump in the tub right after I get out of the shower and roll around in the water droplets...of course, she is a long hair, so this results in half her coat sticking to the floor of the tub. Thankfully, I shower first and my roommate showers second, so I never have to deal with the consequences of this action. (Also, my roommate is a slob, so its ten to one that she even notices.)

That gif must look much worse in real-time than it does in blurry slo-mo. I'll have to look it again when I get home because it didn't look that painful on my phone. I will say this now that my brain is working again, painful hit or not, what kind of tiny-dicked douche hits a person that is clearly not strong enough to fairly fight back? I won't insult women by saying they are the weaker sex or some shit because we are all beyond that kind of sexism, but that is one monstrous dude hitting a decidedly non-monstrous woman.

Will somebody PLEASE explain to me *why* some Unitedstatians feel the need to deep-fry EVERYTHING? WHY?!! Seriously, why? What's the point?

It is America baby. Come on, put some of this fried heaven in your mouth.

I thought the reason Gatorade was dropping the Tiger Fusion drink was because it FUCKING SUCKS. I mean, why put so much money in relabeled Gatorade, when you could just pay the man to sell regular Gatorade?

I WILL NOT REST UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS ME WHATS WRONG WITH MILEY CYRUS' MOUTH!!!!!!!!!

My lawyers have instructed me not to answer that question, especially since it would include some reference to certain body parts in certain pants that she may or may not be fond of. That is all.

Surely not everything needs to be dipped in grease to be delicious.

The hell does "need" have to do with it?

I won't insult women by saying they are the weaker sex or some shit because we are all beyond that kind of sexism
Posted by: stardust at December 9, 2009 3:52 PM

Speak for yourself. Females need a strong male to direct them in the right path and not allow them to think too much. They also need our protection.

Hey Bslim. Wanna date?

Deep fried food I just don't understand:

1. Scotch eggs - hard boiled eggs coated in an inch of sausage meat and then deep fried. It's what's for breakfast.

2. Deep fried ice cream - is this really necessary?

3. Deep fried pickles - are you preggo?

4. Deep fried Coke - because it sounded like a good idea at the time and fat people bought it.

5. Deep fried Twinkies - because there wasn't enough shortening in them.

6. Deep fried Snickers bars - a crime against nature, even before they were fried.

7. Deep fried turkey - a new way to set your house on fire and collect on the house insurance when you can't pay the mortgage.

8. Chalupas - Did burritos really need to be deep fried?

9. Funnel cakes - when you've nothing left to deep fry except the left over batter.

10. Dildos - You know it's the next big thing.

Perhaps the owner of that dog should glue Magic Erasers to the dogs paws and let doggie go into cleaning mode.

BSlim: You should have no problem finding a recipe on the Internets. There's tons of them.

http://www.britainexpress.com/articles/Food/scotch-eggs.htm

11. Deep fried cheese.

12. Deep fried jalapeno's stuffed with cheese.

13. Deep fried mac and cheese.

14. Deep fried cheese burgers.

15. Deep fried cheesecake.

Are you beginning to see a pattern?

16. Deep fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - What? No bacon?

17. Deep fried olives.

18. Deep fried chocolate chip cookie dough.

Now I'm starting to really gag.

So you think deep-fried Coca Cocal is an extreme? Wait till you see the deep fried rolls of butter which were being sold at some U.S fair or other. Talk about consuming calories

I say for the second time today...Oh. My. God. I just watched that gif on my PC. That punch was really, really hard. Even that teeny-peeny's friends can't think much of him for that.

Also, all this talk of fried food is giving me heartburn. Blech.

And, good Lord ladies, I can't believe no one else is squeeing over the Cinematical list! You need to have your vaginas checked and make sure they're working properly.

Bweaves, you may be gagging, but your list is making me hungry. Time to fire up my deep fryer! Homemade deep fried pickles dipped in ranch sauce are the best.

A lot of people complain about the smell of hot oil. I guess working in a McDonald's for almost 7 years (high school through college and a bit beyond) has left me so accustomed to the smell that I don't even notice it anymore.

Don't feel bad, Ms. Mix and Bitch. I too enjoy "Hot n Cold" and "The Climb." Can't explain it, don't even want to try.

Stardust - between the Christian Bale and the Bowie entries on that Cinematical list, I can assure you everything's working just fine on me.

For all the girls deemed as having "deserved it"- I'd like to say how disappointed I am that everyone thinks that gif is hilarious.

See now that's what happens when your face gets in the way of the fist pump.

Posted by: Monica at December 9, 2009 10:23 PM

Bwahahahahahaha!

DeadBessie: Yes, I have tried deepfried stuffed jalapenos and I thought they were disgusting. They're just not my thing.

Oh, so that's what funnel cake is. At last I know exactly what was kicking Andrew's ass, in his 'guestage' period. My life is complete.

Mmmmmm, deep-fried food.....

I agree with Amanda - I work for a women's refuge and while I do have a sense of humour, it's really disappointing that people think this gif is funny. Regardless of how obnoxious she may be, that girl was violently assaulted by someone much bigger than her.