free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 12/06/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Gladiator fever grows with this bad motherfucking testosterone pumping promo! (TVFallsInTheWoods)

The Female Body Proportion Guide, updated for the 21st century. (Gallery of the Absurd)

Keira Knightley not only still looks like a corpse, but now a female-impersonating corpse. (WIMB)

I don’t know if I’m more astounded at the fact that an animal called the “blobfish” exists in the first place or that it really does look like “Ziggy.” (ASWOBA)

Nicolas Cage’s son looks like he’s overcompensating for one too many “swirlies” Freshman year of high school. (DListed)

It’s not often that we hear about a good “grifting” story — and just in time for the holidays, no less! (Galley Slaves)

Mickey Mouse got subpoenaed in court — and surprisingly it had nothing to do with Donald Duck’s “road rage,” either. Oh screw you, I’m allowed to make dumb jokes if I want. (QuizLaw)

Will Madonna ever be too old for this name changing bullshit? (Celebitchy)

Contrary to popular belief, The Golden Compass is not actually evoking global controversy. (Slowly Going Bald)

After mentioning my favorite short documentary ever yesterday, I feel the need to post a teaser for it — in case anyone out there has managed to live this long without experiencing Heavy Metal Parking Lot. Priest rules, after the jump.

Pajiba Love | December 6, 2007 | Comments (14)

Bonus! Zebra dude’s soliloquy about how he feels about punk rock.


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Comments

Heavy Metal Parking Lot? Are you serious?

[smiling happily]

"I'm 20 years old. I'm ready to ROCK"

Ah, that takes me back.

Posted by: TK at December 6, 2007 3:58 PM

Those rednecks probably all remember where they were the moment they found out their heavy metal god was a queer.

And the next time I talk to the artist formerly known as Madonna, I'm going to get all George Jefferson and call her "Weezy".

Posted by: wsapnin at December 6, 2007 4:06 PM

Aw hell! Thank you times a million for the Heavy Metal Parking Lot reminder. I stumbled on it a while back and meant to set the Vo. God bless ya.

Posted by: Beckylooo at December 6, 2007 4:10 PM

I appreciate that they were going for a campy Cabaret/Chicago type spread with Kiera Knightly there, who I have no hate for, but it just ended up looking like a cheap shoot in the photographer's cousin's loft apartment for a $2.99 peek a boo mag. For which the model got paid $115 bucks and all the prawn cocktail and cask Mosel she can regurgitate.

Posted by: Rebecca H. at December 6, 2007 4:44 PM

I have a new name for Madonna, but it's probably not the one she wants. Actually, it's not new, I've been calling her it for years.

Posted by: Case at December 6, 2007 4:52 PM

dammit! Heavy Metal Parking Lot is already listed as a 'very long wait" on Netflix. Or at least it was yesterday. I call firsties all you heathens!

Posted by: Jennifer at December 6, 2007 5:09 PM

I never understood the hype about His Dark Materials being anti-religion, specifically anti-Christian.

Like the article above said, some folks are going on and on about how Pullman was sticking it to the God-lovers and how it was the anti-Narnia. Come to find out, Pullman himself doesn't like that comparison. While he does think Lewis was a liar and a jackass, he pretty much felt his books were about religion as a way to control the masses, but didn't really denounce it outright. And his idea that the God figure was evil and dictatorial wasn't even original: the Gnostics have been propping that up for the longest. In my opinion, it is about as anti-Christian as Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (which is, not much unless you are an idiot).

In fact, quite a few Christians (you know, the ones with actual brains) actually like the series. So I guess it is just more media smoke and mirrors, trying to drum up attention by blaring the alarms over something that isn't even a threat.

Posted by: Vermillion at December 6, 2007 6:53 PM

in the vein of Heavy Metal Parking Lot, could we get an Underappreciated Gem review of FUBAR? Ranylt mentioned it in her Pajiba Guide to What's Good for You Canadian movies edition, but i really believe it deserves a whole review on to itself.

pretty please?

Posted by: causaubon at December 6, 2007 7:21 PM

RE Keira Knightley: OK, so they did a shitty-ass job with the makeup and I don't get the suspenders, but the Keira-Knightley-looks-like-a-death-camp-survivor meme is gettin' old, fast. I think she's freakin' beautiful (that photo spread aside), and has pretty great legs. And no tits. And I like that about her, that she didn't run out and get big fake ta-tas and a fake tan like every other starlet her age, but decided to be all "Yeah, I'm pale and my tits are small, so what?"

I do think she's too skinny, but if it's how she wants to look (or legitimately looks without any effort on her part), who cares what I think? Or anyone else?

Just sayin'. You're entitled to think she's fugly if you want, but couldn't help notice the interesting juxtaposition of the "women with huge fake tits are gross and unnatural" link and then the "Keira Knightley is too skinny and has no tits" one. Just wondering, what size do tits have to be to be acceptable?

Posted by: LL at December 6, 2007 9:04 PM

To quote a former male classmate of mine who, when asked what his feelings on breasts were (small vs. big, perky vs. low hanging, real vs. fake), responded:

"As long as there in my face, I don't care."

That's the type of man a woman needs to have in her life.

God bless him.

Posted by: jen310 at December 7, 2007 12:30 AM

Can't Madonna afford to get her roots done before her hubby's big night?

Posted by: donna at December 7, 2007 11:52 AM

Looks like your spam filters missed one ^

Oh, how I would love to see a "Heavy Metal Parking Lot: 20 Years Later." Track down the "punk rock sucks" dude and see what he's up to today.

Posted by: Matt B at December 7, 2007 12:34 PM

As a burgeoning member of the Punk Rock movement of the 80's, I take umbrage at that uncouth zebra-clad fellow's insinuations that punk rock "sucked". However, upon recollection, our outfits were as delightfully ridiculous and firmly anti-establishment as our heavy metal counterparts, and yes indeedy, "partying" was very much on the agenda!

Posted by: CapnGravy at December 7, 2007 1:38 PM

You make an excellent point, CapnGravy. However I take no umbrage with the insinuation that "Madonna is a dick." I mean, of all the things to call Madonna and he picks "dick?" That's just brilliant. Hat's off to you, Zebra Man.

Posted by: Stacey at December 7, 2007 2:01 PM