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The Dancing Dreidels Means It's Hanukkah!

By | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (13)

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Tonight is the first night of Hannukah, so in honor of this, let’s take a look at the 50 hottest Jews. Feel free to make your own jokes about sticking things in his/her Kislev. (UGO)

How cool is this? Nic Cage has actually seen Harry Hanrahan’s “Nic Cage Losing His Shit” video, and he approves! (ScreenJunkies)

Don’t know what to get the person who has everything but an incredibly creepy sex-doll modeled after an alcoholic midget prostitute? Well good news! There’s now a “Guidette Love Doll”, and it comes with “three greasy gravy holes”! I did not make that up; both of those phrases are taglines on the box. (Warming Glow)

Here are the top 10 “They Had It Coming” deaths in movies. Mysteriously absent: Everyone from Scream. No offense, but when you’re given a goddamn list of how to not die and you end up dying anyway, you’re kinda asking for it. (Den Of Geek)

The producers of Dancing with the Stars are gunning to have Lindsay Lohan on the show as a contestant next year, since she’s currently doing fuck-all and they desperately need an actual celebrity who wasn’t on either That’s So Raven or Levi Johnston’s cock. (popbytes)

Consider this your public service announcement of the day: If you go into a theater playing Harry Potter, and you whip your junk out and star playing the Five Finger Featherduster with yourself, you will be arrested and it will be super embarrassing. (Film Drunk)

If you’ve ever doubted that beauty queens are functionally brain-dead, a former Miss Universe winner asked everyone to pray for the war between North and South Chinas. Seriously. And then just to make things even better, Paulina Rubio said that it was an honest mistake, and that all Japanese people look the same anyway. Stupid and racist? Oh you girls make my job too easy! (Dlisted)

Because of fucking course she did, Madonna opened her own gym in New York City, so for those of you in NYC who want to grunt and sweat on a chest press while murals of 50-year-old pop stars sneer at you… Well, chances are you’ve already signed up. (Agent Bedhead)

Here are the ten most lovable zombies in popculture. Mildly spoilery if you haven’t seen Shaun of the Dead yet, but come on; if you haven’t seen Shaun of the Dead, you’re doing it wrong. (Topless Robot)

Just in case you were all wondering (and I really hope you were not wondering), Heath Ledger will not be in the next Batman movie, because of… well, you know, how totally wrong that would be. (Gamma Squad)

For those of you wondering, why yes! Randy and Evi Quaid are still very much insane. Like, “they believe that Radar Online is owned by the police and they’re sabotaging them via a Dairy Queen in Marfa, Texas” crazy. (Celebitchy)

The end of the year is fast approaching, and God knows we’re going to be rolling out the “Best Of” lists soon, but in the meantime, here are the best music videos of the year. (Pitchfork)

Did you know there are like, zero songs or viral videos about Hanukkah? Sorry about that. Anyway, here’s the only video I could find about Hanukkah that didn’t involve Adam Sandler, rapping or anti-semitism: Here’s Anvil’s Metal Hanukkah song.










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Comments

Roy Zimmerman wishes everyone a happy christmahanuramakadonakwanzwaa. There's a video of him doing so on youtube. So there. Yet another video that features Hanukkah. Time for the suppressed christian minority to intervene. Enter S.E.Cupp on 3, 2, 1...

Posted by: Rooks at December 1, 2010 12:18 PM

Re: Hanukkah songs -- a friend of mine did a parody of Fergie a few years ago with "Latkelicious." It got some novelty play on MTV, I think. It's probably still out there somewhere on the interweb.

Posted by: Siege at December 1, 2010 12:54 PM

There are anti-semetic Hannukah songs? A lot of descendants of the Seleucid Empire claiming they were wronged by the Macabees? This is a holiday where you are specifically supposed to celebrate by frying things in oil. If you combine this and Purim, where you are obligated to get hammered, you'd have quite possibly the most awesome holiday ever!

(Trust me here: Try typing in "hanukkah" into Youtube. I found three different videos along the lines of "Jews are racist and here's why", all delivered without a trace of irony or self-awareness. Seriously. - JF)

Posted by: mrcreosote at December 1, 2010 12:59 PM

I was really hoping for some male Jewish hotties at that first link. No luck.

Posted by: Courtney at December 1, 2010 1:06 PM

Nic Cage: It’s amazing because sometimes people think I’m wearing a wig when I’m not wearing a wig and then sometimes they think I’m not wearing a wig when I am wearing a wig...
Interviewer: I'm going to stop your right there, Nic. Clearly, you're talking out of your ass. I mean, you're wearing a wig right now.
Nic Cage: No I'm not. I don't wear wigs in my real life.
Interviewer: You mean on your island?
Nic Cage: Now you're just being mean.

Posted by: superasente at December 1, 2010 1:19 PM

Feist, I know you're Canadian and maybe not as familiar with US geography, but Mexico City is not in *New York City*. We're still Madonna-gym free here. (just have those pilates studios that she co-owns with Paltrow)

Posted by: Sara Tonin at December 1, 2010 1:37 PM

" This is a holiday where you are specifically supposed to celebrate by frying things in oil. If you combine this and Purim, where you are obligated to get hammered, you'd have quite possibly the most awesome holiday ever!"

I accidentally took my old boyfriend to his first ever Jewish service, and it was Purim. The rabbi and his 5 year old son were dressed as matching CLOWNS. Everyone else in the congregation was dressed as if it was Halloween. The rabbi was passing around a bottle of J&B and communion cups / I mean shot glasses. Hubby sat there with his mouth open as they read the story of Esther and hooted and booed and cheered. I apologized and told him that Jewish services weren't usually like that. He married me anyway and goes to all the services and enjoyes the hell out of them. He's a protestant who goes to a church where they do the miracle of changing wine into grape juice and communion wafers into Wonderbread. He kinda like my services better. Mine start with a real glass of real wine.

Posted by: BWeaves at December 1, 2010 1:55 PM

reason #34 to love anvil

Posted by: scott at December 1, 2010 1:57 PM

Ditto Courtney..mo Jewish hottie men, less Sarah J Parker per-lease

Posted by: JaneSpotting at December 1, 2010 2:30 PM

There was Sarah Jessica Parker as a Jew hottie on that site. I was tempted to do a whois search to see if it was run by Illinois Nazis or Hayden Lake Nazis but B'nai B'rith and the ADL should both send them a strongly worded letter. And maybe some Jewish Defense League or Mossad guys should drop by with silenced Uzis.

Posted by: OscarTamerz at December 1, 2010 8:13 PM

10 bucks says that Dina Lohan or the little ssiter end up doing DWTS. Or fuck it, the dad would do it. If not next season, then the one after that.

Posted by: figgy at December 1, 2010 8:54 PM

Ok, Sarah Jessica Horseface is on the sexiest Jews list and Lisa Edelstein, AKA Doctor Cuddy from House MD, is not. That list can totally suck my dick cheese.

Posted by: Danny from Puerto Rico at December 1, 2010 9:11 PM

Word, Danny from Puerto Rico. I went all the way to no. 1 and was shocked (SHOCKED!) that they left out Lisa Edelstein.

Posted by: denesteak at December 2, 2010 11:13 AM