free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 11/30/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

Just who the hell does Katie Holmes thinks she’s fooling? (WIMB)

Starting next year, every single episode of “South Park” will be available for free online. Suck on that, Scientology! (Agent Bedhead)

Here’s a bunch of horrible ideas to prove that we don’t need writers to make shitty movies. Spoiler alert: Ted McGinley! (KSK)

Julia Roberts will break your ass in half for taking pictures of her kids. (Yeeeah!)

Three chuckleheads get into an argument about football and the casualty is one broken eyesocket. The moral of the story? I don’t know, but this is probably why I don’t watch football. (QuizLaw)

Beyonce is a batshit crazy superhero diva. (FourFour)

Hate to be the one to tell you, but Tila Tequila’s dating show is fake, everybody. Although that really explains how they were able to find thirty-two people willing to “date” an STD-ridden wood nymph. (IDLYITW)

The good news is Cordelia is single. The bad news is she still won’t go out with your ass, fool! (Popoholic)

Last night’s “30 Rock” channeled the likes of “Arrested Development” and “Larry Sanders.” (TVInTheWoods)

“Horton Hires a Ho” and “Why is Mommy Moaning?” — juvenile? Of course. Hysterical? You bet. (YesButNoButYes)

James Franco and Mila Kunis slip seamlessly into the world of The Hills, after the jump. (Hat tip to Beckylooo!)

Pajiba Love | December 1, 2007 | Comments (17)


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Comments

Soooo, Kat(i)e is now channeling Bai Ling? She needs to lose about 90% of that outfit if she's going to do it right, though.

Posted by: pinkcheese at November 30, 2007 3:50 PM

STD-ridden wood nymph

I'm appreciative that, out of the assorted options of nymphs, dryads, faeries and the like, you went with the one that had "wood" in it. Very nice.

In a similar vein (see what I did there?), I always thought of Orlando Bloom as a "wood elf" because of his visible arousal whenever Viggo Mortenson waved his sword around.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at November 30, 2007 3:59 PM

I watched 30 Rock for the first time last night(I know, a travesty), so that episode was my only context for the show. I thought it was hilarious. I'll definitely be catching up with it over the summer on DVD, or sooner if the writers strikes keeps going for much longer.

Posted by: katy at November 30, 2007 5:15 PM

Even better news- most, if not all of the South Park episodes are already online and free at

www.allsp.com

♥

Posted by: Zooey at November 30, 2007 5:15 PM

Socalled:

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!

I thought I was the only one who noticed...

Posted by: Smokin at November 30, 2007 5:15 PM

Heh. I thought James Franco was a bit of a self-serious smuck. A hot one, mind you, but a smuck all the same. I might have to revisit my perspective on him.

In theory, after viewing that clip, Julia Roberts should have shot up my respect-o-meter. In reality, not so much.

Posted by: Daphne at November 30, 2007 5:20 PM

I am lovin' the Friday Love. You brought the funny today, Litely.

Julia Roberts is my celebrity "Skank Cancer". I hope she goes away.

I am glad to hear alien Tila's love experiment on the human race which was to lead toward total earthly domination has failed.

Beyonce is batshit insane on stage and I love it and all her diva batshit insanedness (its a word -because I say so).

Oh, how I do miss "The Larry Sanders Show". Best series finale ever. I was most attracted to David Duchovny when he had his inappropiate man crush on Larry. When he softly stroked Larry's hair and told him he was so beautiful, I melted.

My favorite book title: "My Foot in Your Ass Dr. Suess's Wacky Book of Ass Whoopin's" - genius.

Excellent Love today.

Posted by: jen310 at November 30, 2007 5:54 PM

How is it possible that Beyonce is beautiful, (semi) talented, and, yet, has absolutely no charisma?

Posted by: Samantha T at November 30, 2007 6:19 PM

STOP FOLLOWING MY LIFE PAJIBA, I'M ON TO YOU.

Posted by: Alex McQ at November 30, 2007 6:27 PM

Samantha T., that is because Beyonce has no soul. You kinda need one of those to be remotely charismatic. I hear you can't even see her reflection in a mirror anymore. They have to use special effects to make it look like she is actually showing up.

Posted by: Vermillion at November 30, 2007 6:39 PM

Ha! My sister always says Bouncy looks like wax figure in every picture she's in.

Posted by: Samantha T at November 30, 2007 8:25 PM

Fembot might be an appropriate term, I think. Also, her being 26? It's a hard sell for me. Then again, Jordin Sparks is supposedly only 17, and she looks like she could be in her mid to late 20s easily. Same for Rihanna (19?). It's crazy how the young women work so hard to look older, and the older women work so hard to look younger. Fuck you, vicious cycle and those who perpetuate it.

Posted by: Daphne at November 30, 2007 9:21 PM

Mila Kunis' facial expressions in that clip were simply divine. I've only seen bits and pieces of The Hills in the past but I do remember lots of close-ups on girls with heavy eye makeup weirdly emoting.

The list of movie ideas had me giggling too, although I do have a creeping dread that the movie executive who's been following me around taking notes on how best to screw with me will use it as ammunition.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at December 1, 2007 1:17 PM

Yeah, they pretty much nailed how terrible the HIlls really is. You can't parody that shit, that conversation ("I say, if something's working, why put a label on it?") has probably already been featured on the Hills at some point. Of course, it is a mainstay of commitment-phobe douchebags, so it's not that far of a reach.

As for the movie ideas, they frighten me. I know people in my screen writing class who had similar ideas, so I bet that someone in Hollywood is already working on at least one of them.

Posted by: Rusty at December 2, 2007 2:24 AM

That Katie Holmes jab is what passes for wit around here? Good grief, nobody in these here parts likes her or Tom Cruise, so if you want to bash her with a broken broom handle, at least show some class, intelligence, and/or humour in doing so. Incredibly lame.
As for ideas-- ideas aren't horrible. It's the execution where things fall apart.

Posted by: amea_gari at December 3, 2007 12:12 AM

amea_gari, seeing as this site seems to consistently disappoint you... May I ask why you continue to diligently read and comment?

Posted by: Dino at December 3, 2007 12:20 PM

I've always thought James Franco was the most interesting thing about the Spiderman movies--but after seeing that video my admiration for him has just shot right through the roof. And Ms. Kunis is pretty cool too.

Posted by: Jerce at December 3, 2007 3:26 PM