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NPH in 140 or Less

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | November 19, 2009 | Comments (43)

Neil Patrick Harris finally got himself a twitter account (he really wasn’t on twitter yet?), with which he is predictably charming and adorable, using expressions like “Holy Pete!” (Unreality)

Kevin Smith’s upcoming buddy cop movie isn’t allowed to be called A Couple of Dicks anymore because it might make old ladies faint and corrupt the minds of children or whatever. (Screen Junkies)

Fun fact: That House dude from “House” once guest-starred on an episode of “Friends,” and this is pretty much the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. (Agent Bedhead)

I didn’t think Nicolas Cage could possibly become less attractive, but he seems to have inexplicably aged twenty years in the past two months. (Litelysalted)

Twilight: New Moon director Chris Weitz says he’s retiring from the biz because Hollywood is making him compromise his artistic vision or some crap. Whatever, to me he’ll always be the guy who had a gay love scene with Mike White in Chuck and Buck. (Film Drunk)

Sophia Vergara from “Modern Family” made a sort-of rape joke on “The View” yesterday, but honestly I’m more concerned with the fact that she has an eighteen-year-old son and she’s still younger than me. Sigh. (IBBB)

Mary Kate Olsen drew fashion inspiration from “early ’80s/extraterrestrial” for her ensemble that she wore to MoMA’s honoring of Tim Burton the other night. (Yeeeah!)

Jenna Jameson and her cosmetically butchered face went on “Oprah,” and I really just love that on the level of big Oprah guests Jenna Jameson = Sarah Palin. (Celebitchy)

Cage match: Which television couple would you like to reach through the computer and throttle the most? Lou Dobbs and Bill O’Reilly (Warming Glow)? Or Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (Litelysalted)? Can I answer by saying that I wish I had eight throttlin’ arms?

The finalists for this year’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award has been announced, and honestly I had no idea such an award even existed in the first place. (Second Pass)

I can’t believe I missed this for Paheeba Day yesterday, but here is a helpful User’s Guide to “Boob Terminology,” as written by a man. But I know you ladies would be able to flesh this list out better — pun totally intended. (Holy Taco)

For no reason other than I love sweet, sweet nostalgia, here are a bunch of theme songs to ’80s television shows. How I miss the days of fun theme songs. (Thundersquee!)

Martha Stewart was asked about Rachael Ray and she basically verbally cut a bitch. (DListed)

Sofi-dofi sent me this adora-freakin-ble video starring (but not really) Godtopus and Godtopussy, and it will make me seriously reevaluate whether I’ll ever eat octopus again:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

that is the cutest video ever.

Posted by: lizzieborden at November 19, 2009 1:11 PM

ok all i read was HOUSE! and i zoomed down to comments so I can post this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXNd99IhdmA

I found it when I was searching for random videos of him. 'Cause he's my crack.

Ok i'll continue reading now.

Posted by: dene at November 19, 2009 1:16 PM

OK, FIRST of all, referring to the sexmazing Hugh Laurie as "that House dude" earns one swift slice of the naughty bits.

And secondly, that is the best Friends moment EVER!

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 19, 2009 1:17 PM

The french animation studio, or possibly student collective, or something - anyway, Gobelins? Really good animated shorts as well.

Pandora is my favorite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTybefyQ6FY

Posted by: twig at November 19, 2009 1:21 PM

CHUCK N BUCK SUCK AND FUCK!!!

Posted by: gp at November 19, 2009 1:24 PM

Yeah really Stace: "that House dude"???????

Show some respect.

Speaking of respect, I have no time for Rachael Ray but that was a pretty honest and classy response on her part.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 19, 2009 1:24 PM

Sofi-dofi? YES! I'll gladly use that as an alternative to Sophilis.

Posted by: Sofía at November 19, 2009 1:37 PM

Thanks to the adorableness of NPH (and his arms!), I have just spend 2.5 minutes screaming AAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAH under my breath (I'm in public) and grinning like a loony loon on loon pills. I think the professor holding office hours at the next table over is kinda freaked. But my day is made.

Posted by: esme at November 19, 2009 1:38 PM

Good to see that prison made Martha all hard n' shit. I'll bet she was hell on wheels in the yard, yo.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at November 19, 2009 1:42 PM

Re: Sophia Vergara--I'm not offended really, just baffled. How was that a joke?

Re: Jenna Jameson--I like how she tries to make herself out to be a feminist with high ideals. Honey, you let yourself be filmed while screwing people for money. "I'm not doing it with more than one man!" or "Not from the back!"--yeah, you RESPECT yourself, girl! Stick to your incredibly low standards!

Re: Bad Sex in Fiction--I refer you all to this link:

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/sticks.htm

My personal favorites are:

"She stuck to his prime-grade A tush like shrink-wrap to a rump roast."

"And then he was fully socketed to her, like a pipe wrench in a crock of warm chili."

"Nicol Jenkins, spatial engineer, fought back silently."

The last one has nothing to do with sex but for some reason, it cracks me up every time. That site is a serious inspiration to aspiring writers. If those people can get their literary dreck published, surely my mediocre crap stands a chance.

Posted by: DeadBessie at November 19, 2009 1:45 PM

I watched Jenna Jameson on Oprah the other day and it was so sad. She had the conversational skills of a 12 year old and when she said that she had always hoped to grow up and be like Oprah, Oprah basically mocked her. She started crying when the subject of discussing her life with her sons once they're old enough came up. It was pretty depressing for a show discussing the popularity of porn.

Posted by: becks at November 19, 2009 1:50 PM

I love in that video when the octopi ink the van dude. Squirt!!

Posted by: MM at November 19, 2009 1:50 PM

I didn't get past the NPH header picture without having to detour for my bunk (Yay for work from home days).

The things I would do to that man....

Posted by: Drake at November 19, 2009 1:56 PM

NPH tweeted yesterday that the 100th episode of HIMYM will be a musical episode! did we know that?

From @actuallyNPH

"HIMYM's 100th episode musical number. Dance steps by Glee's prod/choreo Zach Woodlee. Cool. Watch me point at him: http://yfrog.com/3nbrocj"

Posted by: mswas at November 19, 2009 2:04 PM

So Sofia Vergara thinks getting raped as a 13 year old is funny. Who are we to judge? Maybe child-rape brings down the house in Columbian comedy clubs. Especially if it ends in pregnancy and allows you to be a MILF well into the child's 20s. Practicality people. Let's get up to speed, here.

Posted by: Kballs at November 19, 2009 2:33 PM

Weitz is retiring? He's welcome to if he's saying things like this now:

“To me, it made sense to be unashamed of the emotionality of the piece. There are werewolves fighting each other. Vampires fighting each other. Vampires fighting werewolves. All kinds of great stuff for boys as well. But the girls needed to be given their due. And I think we deliver on that.”


Gotta try to hit that female demographic this time around.

http://www.accessatlanta.com/atlanta-movies/twilight-stars-become-teen-203229.html?cxtype=ynews_rss

Posted by: Jay at November 19, 2009 2:48 PM

DAYUM those are some sexy high heels on that Sofia Vergara.
I want.
The heels, not Sofia Vergara. Although if I swung that way, Hell yes.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 19, 2009 2:51 PM

Which television couple would you like to reach through the computer and throttle the most?
O'Reilly and Dobbs (can we switch out Dobbs for Beck? I really don't think anybody pays attention to Dobbs) are, by far, way more detrimental to society as a whole. All they do is preach hate and bigotry, while Spencer and Heidi are just some attention-starved kids.

Posted by: henchman for hire at November 19, 2009 2:56 PM

I love Martha Stewart. She's such a total ice queen and doesn't give a shit who knows it.

Posted by: figgy at November 19, 2009 3:02 PM

AHHHHHHHH! The Buzongas!! WHY?!
Boobies, Tittys, all great, but those monstrosities have hurt my brain.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 19, 2009 3:06 PM

Octopussies in love is fantastic. Thanks for sharing.

Hugh Laurie will always be Bertie Wooster to me (or some twit in Blackadder). I can't watch House. His American accent, though perfect, is too disturbing when you're used to him with his British accent.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 19, 2009 3:22 PM

I hate Martha Stewart.
She is a pretentious snob who is so desperate to overcome her lower class roots that she spastically flails at anything that she thinks will make her look like the upper-crust blue blood she clearly is not. She collects fluffy flat faced cats, over bred Chow Chows, and Fresian horses which are just equine masturbation for the rich-fat-middle-aged-ladies-who-wish-they-could-actually-ride-but know-deep-down-they-cannot.
Remember what I said the other day in the American Beauty thread about women who garden and collect animals? Psycho-bitch control freaks. Add 'pretentious gourmet chef' to that list of 'Favorite Pastimes for the Domineering Bitch.'

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a pie in the oven, my (American Eskimo http://www.akc.org/breeds/american_eskimo_dog/) dog needs to go out, the cats want fed, the garden needs weeding, and I have 4 horses to ride today. 1 of whom is a Fresian, although (thank god) not mine. He is owned by the most desperate wannabe I have ever met in my life though. She has 2 breedy cats, 2 standard Poodles, An Andalusian, 2 Freisians, an Icelandic, and a Fresian/Lusitano cross. Also known as the Holy Pentaverate of Equine Ostentation.
Basically a skinny Martha Stewart.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 19, 2009 3:26 PM

How said is it that I knew which episode of Friends Hugh Laurie had been on without having to follow the link? Could that be a rhetorical question? Do I get points for owning up to my past?

I don't Twitter and don't plan to but how cool is it that NPH is now ubercool? I have no time to explain. I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away!

Posted by: Supercomfypampertimefloatythrone at November 19, 2009 3:30 PM

Is there a "Good Sex in Fiction" award?

Posted by: John W at November 19, 2009 3:30 PM

RE: Buzongas or Guzongas

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Why would someone do that to themselves? Help me out men. Is that attractive? Really, is it? I mean, I guess she'll never break her nose, but is it worth the cost of breaking her back?

Posted by: BWeaves at November 19, 2009 3:31 PM

I LOVE Martha Stewart in small doses because no matter how hard she tries to be nice you can tell she is a raging bitch. Such fun.

Posted by: Supercomfypampertimefloatythrone at November 19, 2009 3:33 PM

Barney: Now remember my three beginner's tips for picking up chicks: address her by name, isolate her from her friends, subtly put her down.

Television gold!

Slow work day.

Posted by: Supercomfypampertimefloatythrone at November 19, 2009 3:44 PM

Is there a "Good Sex in Fiction" award?

Posted by: John W at November 19, 2009 3:30 PM


Good Sex in Fiction is its own reward.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 19, 2009 3:52 PM

Supercomfypampertimefloatythrone :

Yes, I didn't even click on the link, but I knew it had to be the airplane scene. Am I right?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 19, 2009 3:54 PM

I like boobs. I'm have my own to look at but I really never mind looking at other boobs. Mmmyeah, I like boobs and that is all.


Boobs.

Posted by: ashes at November 19, 2009 4:03 PM

Ditto, Supercomfy and Lindsey with an 'e'. I didn't even click on the link.

You want hardcore Laurie fans? Raise your hand if you've ever seen (hell, heard of) The Girl From Rio.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 19, 2009 4:12 PM

Well, I have now. Is it any good? I mean, yeah, Hugh Fucking Laurie, but still, he is only 1 man, is the rest of the movie worth while?

BTW: I watched the Biography Channel "Biography" of Hugh Laurie. It was terrific, I highly recommend it. You know, if you are into that sort of thing.
And you know you are.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 19, 2009 4:21 PM

Yes, Lindsey with an 'e' the scene on the plane. And they were on a break.

Posted by: Supercomfypampertimefloatythrone at November 19, 2009 4:29 PM

They were totally on a break. I am with Ross on this one. He is the one who Loved that silly bitch for YEARS from afar. She doesn't get to vacillate and toy with his affections without consequences. You want a break bitch, fine. Break this:
I
AM
GETTING
LAID.

Don't like it? Commit or quit. It isn't like he wanted to open a joint checking account or anything.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 19, 2009 4:56 PM

On that Sophie whoever story..I don’t watch this show, don’t know who this chick is,(a knockoff wannabe and neverwillbe Penelope Cruz,who rules) and don’t really care..the truth is, according to my pal, who pays attention to these attention whores, is that the hag didn’t want anyone to know how old she is…she had the brat when she was 20, prolly NOT by nonconsensual sexual intercourse, which would make her, ummm…37-38. Which is geriatric in the world of the eternal adolescent which is TV and pop kulchur.Umm..so fkn what, right?And no, rape ain't funny,nope.
That is all.

Posted by: devildoggie at November 19, 2009 5:07 PM

Lindsey with an 'e', you are fast becoming a favorite of mine.

The movie is... well, its awful. But in that totally fun, make little squeeful faces kind of way. And also in the clueless-actors-and-directors kind of way. But you get to see Hugh Laurie samba with passion, which is the most precious thing in my pants.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 19, 2009 5:08 PM

'Favorite Pastimes for the Domineering Bitch'

- Lindsey with an 'e'

I want this book.

Posted by: Lubeg at November 19, 2009 5:09 PM

Pop Kulcher is my new band name. DIBS!

Posted by: Patty O'Green at November 19, 2009 5:09 PM

Lubeg:
I'll get right on that. As soon as I am done pruning the roses, grooming the fluffy dog, raising my souffle (wow, is that a great euphamism), working the horses, instructing my students, and telling my man if, how, when, and where, he can have teh sex with me.
Yeah, no control issues here!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 19, 2009 5:21 PM

Awww, thanks Patty. I like you too!
Don't get me wrong, I would watch Hugh Laurie gargle the alphabet and love every minute of it, but I probably won't be hunting this movie down anytime soon. I will watch it on cable though.

Dammit! I have to go to work.
See y'all later!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 19, 2009 5:23 PM

Awwww. I will never touch calimari again.
And I love the "You've got to be shitting me" expression on godtopussy's face when the seagull takes godtopus.

Posted by: popejenn at November 19, 2009 6:22 PM

Damn, Patty O'Green, I thought I was a pretty big Hugh Laurie fan, but I have never even heard of The Girl From Rio. I know Hugh Laurie from his British comedy roots. Jeeves and Wooster is one of my all time favorite tv shows. Though I can make this claim to superfandom, I knew who he was back when the Friends episode first aired.

Posted by: Morgan LaFai at November 19, 2009 7:18 PM

Argh! I missed most of the day's topics!

Let's see:

NPH: If he and John Barrowman ever enter the same room, their awesomeness would immediately cancel out Prop 8. Literally. As in the very document will spontaneously combust.

Twilight: Team Edward? Team Jacob? I am on Team Stake In The Sparkly Face.

Sofia Vergara: Hmmm, I don't get the joke, but if she wishes to explain it to me, i am more than open to it. I am more receptive when both parties are in a state of undress though.

Loudmouth Pundits vs. Idiot Couple: There both attention whores. Whoever wins, we lose.

HUGH LAURIE RULEZ!@!>!>@O NO@!@!!!!*fart*

Posted by: Undead Abomination #768921 (formerly Vermillion) at November 20, 2009 1:33 AM





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