Here’s a list of the Top 11 Lamest Blogs. I’ll be honest, I only skimmed it real quick looking to make sure none of the ones I write for was on there. (PC World)
And on a not entirely unrelated topic, we have a list of websites which spawned a literary adaptation. The word “literary” used loosely. (AV Club)
Or like I always say, you can totally judge the quality of a blogsite by the amount of airplane masturbation stories it features. (QuizLaw)
Question: what do you call disgusting, foul-smelling anal discharge with a faux-hawk? (WIMB)
Holy crap, these are hilarious. Here are the worst album covers of all time. (Cracked)
Oh, blah blah blah, Angelina Jolie. Like you’re the only person in the world who’s ever had their mom die. Oh, shut up. I’m kidding. Am I? (Yeeeah!)
I totally missed this before, but here are some photos of Sarah Palin lounging around her hotel pool wearing shorts like a 16-year-old wears from Victoria’s Secret PINK® collection. That woman is all class. (IDLYITW)
Puff DaddySean JohnDiddy Kong Diddy isn’t going to let Kanye West hog up all of the insane, egomaniacal crazypants rapper attention. (Celebitchy)
“A Colbert Christmas” is premiering on Sunday, featuring the music of Feist, Elvis Costello, Willie Nelson, and yes, Toby Keith. (CC Insider)
Hey, anyone curious to know what nasty shit kids are putting into bowl, covering with milk and eating these days? (TIB)
Legos: Now with more uses than being small plastic objects your small child might possibly choke on! (mental floss)
For no good reason in particular, here is Chloe Sevigny in a bikini on the beach. (AgentBedhead)
Pajiba-Eloquent Jeremy runs through a list of the stupidest sex symbols. Really, Jerms? In what alternate universe is Zac Efron a bona-fide sex symbol? Gack. (NotesOnBarNapkins)
There’s a Playboy store? Of course there’s a Playboy store. And it is every bit the assault on good taste you’d think it would be. (Jezebel)
And finally, I am very proud to bring you the following music video debut by our very own Sofia — with the help of the Pajibettes — here is “Mah Boobs”:
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
And Marra, thanks for appreciating the sepia tone. I wanted it to be classy.
Posted by: Sofía at November 18, 2008 12:16 PM
------------------------------------------------
You are like one of the classiest broads I know, you ooze it, you are like, moist with it and shit.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 18, 2008 12:19 PM
Song of the Year!
If Skitz gets to write a chapter about anger management, I would like to write a chapter on the mismanagement of Skitz's anger managment chpater on anger managment. Or would that be redundant?
Posted by: admin at November 18, 2008 12:21 PM
I love Sofia.
Posted by: Julie at November 18, 2008 12:23 PM
For some reason, admin, that pisses me off immensely... I guess anger management isn't the chapter for me. How about I write about raising chickens? Or how to "spice up" a bowl of ordinary Corn Flakes? Two words: whiskey and blow... Huh? Am I right?
Posted by: Skitz at November 18, 2008 12:27 PM
first off sofia
FREEBIRD!!
second julie
I actually had some people respond to my sexy craigslist booty ad. Priceless stuff
To the tune of In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins,
I can feel it coming in the air tonight
Mah choooaaad
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life
Mah choooaaad
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight
Mah chooaad, my choooaaad
Posted by: admin at November 18, 2008 12:35 PM
Awesome Love today, Stacey.
Legos rock.
Posted by: Alabamapink at November 18, 2008 12:35 PM
No WAY! Were they serious? Like I was? :p
Posted by: Julie at November 18, 2008 12:35 PM
Dude, I hate Palin with a passion. HATE. But those are just running shorts.
Posted by: PaleoLithchick at November 18, 2008 12:37 PM
Admin: [cue crazy drum sequence]
Posted by: Julie at November 18, 2008 12:37 PM
Love it Sofia!!!
Posted by: Austin at November 18, 2008 12:38 PM
What would a Pajiba book consist in, really? We have the reviews, of course, but would every eloquent get a bio and a selection of Top-Ten Worthy comments?
We should work on this so we can have them ready for PajibaCon.
Sofia I hereby declare my allegiance and undying loyalty. Let me serve as a humble foot soldier in your army of truth, I will gladly spill my blood for your noble cause. Viva La Révolution!
Here's a plan, Sophia - put a hundred 'Jibans in a room with a hundred typewriters, a fully stocked bar, a Slip-n-Slide, an inflatable pool full guacamole, and a single pistol. Lock that room for twenty-four hours and you walk away with a goddam Pulitzer. Guaranteed.
Posted by: Skitz at November 18, 2008 12:45 PM
Julie
For the most part they were Spambot Hoookers looking for a good time/sucker.
Posted by: dylanj at November 18, 2008 12:46 PM
How about I write about raising chickens? Or how to "spice up" a bowl of ordinary Corn Flakes? Two words: whiskey and blow... Huh? Am I right?
Ummmm not quite. You forgot about the hookers.
Hookers are like pepper. They immediately add a depth of flavour that no other spice, condiment or barrel aged liquor can match. Whether they are dead or alive is purely preference.
Posted by: admin at November 18, 2008 12:48 PM
Ah ha ha! Evil genius.
Posted by: Julie at November 18, 2008 12:52 PM
I have yet to encounter a hooker or a stripper in their natural habitat but with an upcoming New Year's trip to the Caribbean I'm hoping to rectify this problem.
Posted by: dylanj at November 18, 2008 12:53 PM
Pants, your pledge humbles me. I'm a fan of yours (especially of your post about PETA... muahahaha) and will gladly take you in so we can plot our revolution. I don't know what we're up against yet, but I swear I'll let you know as soon as I find out.
Is Sevigny drinking coffee at the beach? That just doesn't seem right.
Posted by: Eep at November 18, 2008 1:06 PM
dylanj I've encountered a "lady of the night" while in LA, specifically on Hollywood Blvd. I was with my mom and brother who were getting me situated before my internship.
We just happened to be sight seeing and we're walking and chatting and my brother is wandering when my mom whispers, "Is that woman soliciting that man?"
I love my mom.
Posted by: Kayanne at November 18, 2008 1:17 PM
Nice job Sofia.
Damn. I guess since I don't have enough boob to inspire a song, I'll have to sing about my pussy.
Posted by: Cindy at November 18, 2008 1:19 PM
kayanne
That sounds like a very mom thing to say. I just want to practice my negotiating skills vs a seasoned pro. Now THAT would be something Shatner could add to Priceline.
Posted by: dylanj at November 18, 2008 1:38 PM
Sofi, you had to know this was going to happen. I told you at the time it was brilliant. And I can't help it that all of my status comments end up being about breasts. That's y'alls depravity.
I, for one, am absolutely delighted at the upcoming Colbert Christmas. It's going to be awesome squared, then multiplied by infinity.
A Pajiba book would just be too much. It would descend into mayhem over "muppets most worth fucking," the merits of taco dip vs. guacamole when used during female bikini wresting, arguments about best superhero (Stark or Wayne?), perceived slights and pissing matches, and then the server would explode.
Posted by: Nicole at November 18, 2008 1:57 PM
I cannot believe I am going to say this, but:
How can one have a song about their boobs, but not show the actual boobs? The guitar blocks EVERYTHING!!!! This is sexually frustrating illogical!
I am so ashamed.
Posted by: Vermillion at November 18, 2008 2:06 PM
Take a cold shower funboy.
AHHHHHHHHHHH! AH AH! HIT THE SHOWERS!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 18, 2008 2:11 PM
Sofia that was pretty rockin'. Are you from a town called Kickapoo?
In any case i would like to make a suggestion for future works: bass accompaniment. You don't know any bass players, you say? well what a coincidence, because I just happen to play the bass.
Posted by: the_wakeful at November 18, 2008 2:12 PM
I'm right there with you Vermillion, but this has to be classy - the boobs have to be tastefully shown in sepia, maybe with the guitar being held lower as waves gently lap our dear singer as she walks on the beach... As for your shame, try ease it with a swimsuit calendar or two, maybe take in a monokini if it's really bad.
And Cindy I can't wait for your music video! We can't focus on one area to the exclusion of the other!
Posted by: lordhelmet at November 18, 2008 2:14 PM
That was a catchy little ditty.
I bought that LOLcats book for my Mom for Christmas. I'm not joking, its in my closet right now. My mom is adorable and she loves those stupid things.
Posted by: becks at November 18, 2008 2:31 PM
Sniff...it's more beautiful every time I hear it. Good show, SOfia...you chilean siren...
But I fully agree with my good friends Vermillion and lordhelmet. And not just because of the PMLB club policies...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at November 18, 2008 2:31 PM
I have "Mah Boobs" on my MP3 player. I *cannot wait* until it comes on during shuffle! I'm seriously far more excited about this than I actually should be. My life is really boring...
I haven't been able to get the song out of my head since Sofi posted it for me. Seriously; it runs on a continual loop in my brain.
Posted by: Nicole at November 18, 2008 3:04 PM
Yeah, that lego furniture shit isn't bad. But have you heard of The Brick Testament?
www.thebricktestament.com
Posted by: Kiki at November 18, 2008 3:06 PM
Skittiums... "put a hundred 'Jibans in a room with a hundred typewriters, a fully stocked bar, a Slip-n-Slide, an inflatable pool full guacamole, and a single pistol."
Fine.
But I get the pistol.
Posted by: TK at November 18, 2008 3:09 PM
But I get the pistol.
Posted by: TK at November 18, 2008 3:09 PM
Yeah, cuz the guy who trips over lint is the logical choice to hold the pistol...
Hey, no sweat. Bullets are individually housed in waterproof canisters within the liquor bottles though... You've got two choices, as far as I figure - A. drink enough booze to get to the ammo, resulting in a sloppy shot, or B. dump the bottles of their precious, precious liquor resulting in being drawn and quartered by booze fiends. I'm just like that Jigsaw guy - except my movies don't suck...
Posted by: Skitz at November 18, 2008 3:17 PM
I should get the gun. I love being drunk on power. AND alcohol.
Posted by: Julie at November 18, 2008 3:18 PM
I've got to think on some lyrics before the video - and fuck if I can't play guitar, so it'll have to be a cappella.
Sometimes I like it hairy,
but not so that it's scary.
Sometimes I like to shave her,
and draw a face with marker.
Ooooh, mah pusseh?
Posted by: Cindy at November 18, 2008 3:21 PM
Hot.
Posted by: Snath at November 18, 2008 3:28 PM
Cindy, funny thing is, we were in talks of creating the pussaaaay song. It had something to do with West Coasters getting Brazillians making their coochies as odd-looking as a movie by Terry Gilliam, and East Coasters trimming and grooming, which led to old-fashioned fucking and some spooning.
Option 3: Break the first bottle over your damn fucking head. Gets me one extra bullet, and no one will ever convict me.
Posted by: TK at November 18, 2008 3:39 PM
Servo, your clumsiness is second only to TK's. Why the hell would we give a boozebag like you a firearm?
My next home will be furnished entirely in Legos. Did any of you have Pipeworks when you were a kid? That was my favorite toy of all time.
Posted by: Nicole at November 18, 2008 3:41 PM
Because I'll bite you all to death if you don't. >:(
Posted by: Julie at November 18, 2008 3:47 PM
"Option 3: Break the first bottle over your damn fucking head."
What the hell makes you think I'm going to be there? I'll be out in the parking lot stealing car stereos and going through gloveboxes. That's how I roll at conventions...
Posted by: Skitz at November 18, 2008 3:50 PM
It had something to do with West Coasters getting Brazillians making their coochies as odd-looking as a movie by Terry Gilliam, and East Coasters trimming and grooming,
So it could be a song about an east coast / west coast pussaaay grooming rivalry? Perhaps caps are busted and niggas is crazy? Bitches be trippin'?
Cause that would be the shit.
Posted by: admin at November 18, 2008 4:30 PM
Well in that case, if you find one with an Ipod dock, save it for me? I will repay you in whiskey. And bullets.
And Nicole, I'm going to remember that you said that...
Posted by: TK at November 18, 2008 4:53 PM
Aw, TK, you know I loves ya, but I have to speak the truth.
Posted by: Nicole at November 18, 2008 5:24 PM
*grumble grumble*
Posted by: TK at November 18, 2008 8:00 PM
Sofia, te amo! Simplemente te amo! Ay!
Posted by: figgy at November 18, 2008 9:21 PM
We could all just vote for the best (read: bitchiest) reviews on the site and make a book.
It'd be awesome.
Posted by: figgy at November 18, 2008 9:23 PM
I like it Sofia. But are we going to have to do have to do a drive-by on our fellow chicas, because I like most of 'em?
A Pajiba book would just be too much. It would descend into mayhem over "muppets most worth fucking"
Posted by: Nicole at November 18, 2008 1:57 PM
*Ahem*
Posted by: Che Grovera at November 18, 2008 10:30 PM
Nosek, what the fuck passes for a Marketing Department around this place? Is there any other website on the planet that can boast a Chilean blogger singing an ode to her BOOOO-OOOOOH-BEEEEES to its members? How is that not a gospel worth spreading?
Posted by: Che Grovera at November 18, 2008 11:09 PM
Sofia - that was sweet! Rabid fan.
Posted by: replica at November 19, 2008 3:34 AM
A Pajiba book would just be too much. It would descend into mayhem over "muppets most worth fucking"
Posted by: Nicole at November 18, 2008 1:57 PM
*Ahem*
Posted by: Che Grovera at November 18, 2008 10:30 PM
Now, Che, she didn't get to finish her sentence. Pretty sure what Nicole was getting at here was, "mayhem over muppets most worth fucking--specifically, over which Pajibette would get to do our "muppet most worth fucking" first." Isn't that right, Nicole?
If Pajiba gets a book deal, I'd like to write a chapter on dealing with anger management. Either that or how to make your own beeswax candles...
Nice tune. Someone's gotta step up and write Mah Choad