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Pajiba Love

I’ve got a PSA for Buffy fans! Mercedes McNabb, a.k.a. Harmony, will be appearing on “Supernatural” tonight playing a — wait for it — vampire! Thank you, TV gods! (TV.com)

Place yer bets, ladies and gentlemen! What will J Lo and Marc Anthony name the Latino Jesus Christ? (WIMB)

Since Jake Gyllenhaal is looking less and less yummers these days, let’s take a fond look back to his kisses past. (Film Experience)

Referring to Amy Winehouse as a “hot mess” is probably giving her way more credit than she deserves. (Yeeeah!)

And, the most creative use of a chapel phone award goes to… (QuizLaw)

That Sharon Stone is one classy old cougar! Rowr, work that ‘toe, baby! (IDLYITW)

Let’s take a look into some of the more “manly” ways of turkey preparation — short of stuffing it with a giant ACME brand can of TNT and lighting the giant cartoon fuse. (MentalFloss)

David Letterman: reader of the Top Ten lists, taunter of celebritards and awesome guy extraordinaire. (Celebitchy)

KSK’s Guide To The Environmental Pussification Of The NFL. (KSK)

For everyone jonesin’ from the strike, here some classic Conan with “Chuck Norris Octagon Lever” (via Popoholic) after the jump!

Pajiba Love | November 15, 2007 | Comments (26)


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Comments

I make my turkey by stuffing butter under the skin. Placing two Granny Smith apples and a half bottle of champagne in the turkey. Sticking the bird in a bag and pouring the rest of the champagne in there. Best. Turkey. Ever.

Posted by: Agent Scully at November 15, 2007 3:44 PM

I've done both beer can and deep fried turkey, and I cannot recommend them highly enough.

And as for Sharon St- *hurl*

Ick.

Posted by: TK at November 15, 2007 3:46 PM

delurking for two seconds to say:
VERONICA MARS SEASONS 1 AND 2 ARE ON SALE AT AMAZON. $15 EACH.

it's part of the big tv on dvd sale. there are lots of awesome deals right now.
even if you don't need them, they'd make awesome christmas presents. or backup copies for your nuclear fallout shelters.

BUT SERIOUSLY. VERONICA MARS SEASONS 1 AND 2 FOR $15. ON AMAZON.

Posted by: exciting news! at November 15, 2007 3:47 PM

!!! I miss the Chuck Norris lever.

Posted by: Julie at November 15, 2007 3:49 PM

The Pussification of the NFL? Like it could have gotten any more gay.

Posted by: jason at November 15, 2007 3:54 PM

agent scully-
i do the same thing, but also use some fresh sage and rosemary under the skin. apples, oranges, onions, all wedged up inside.
don't forget the butter basting every 15 minutes!!!

y'all don't even want to know about my dressing and gravy....

Posted by: bionic bunny at November 15, 2007 4:15 PM

Bunny... you bet your ass I wanna hear about the gravy. I love me some gravy.

But then again, if people start exchanging recipes on Pajiba, I'll kill myself.

Posted by: TK at November 15, 2007 4:36 PM

That Letterman bit warms my cynical heart. It's nice to know that not everyone in Hollywood is a shitteous douchebag.

The bacon wrapped turkey is genius! Perhaps I'll try the beercan method with my heirloom turkey this year. Seems they need more moisture than regular turkeys, which I didn't know before today. Good thing you posted that link.

Posted by: katy at November 15, 2007 4:44 PM

Let me just say: you go, Letterman! That is some inspiring management style.

Posted by: Armando at November 15, 2007 4:53 PM

I have a huge new-found respect for Letterman (I didn't dislike him before: just found him not as entertaining as he's supposed to be). That is a way classier act than the socalled (debit me another one on the purchase of copyright uses) humanitarian acts most celebrities brag about.

Posted by: PaddyDog at November 15, 2007 5:03 PM

"That makes me stupid, and you a whore."

Somebody please make more Chuck Norris films. I know he is rolling in "Walker" residuals, but he has GOT to be bored.

Also, linking to mental_floss (the proper way to write their name) makes me feel good inside.

Posted by: Vermillion at November 15, 2007 5:40 PM

Good heavens. This makes the 2nd consecutive day I've learned a new word! Shitteous - brillant. Thanks, katy. This is why I love the Pajibians - always raising the intellectual bar.

I've never been into Thanksgiving turkey, but I may need to revisit that.

Seconding Vermillion's recommendation of Chuck Norris films. Yes, we need more of those, please. I would also like the mystery of the "Ninja" to be solved.

Posted by: Daphne Wilson at November 15, 2007 6:03 PM

Posted by: Dillon at November 15, 2007 6:07 PM

I third the more Chuck Norris recommendation. I bet he could beat all our asses to death, simultaneously, and we would love it.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 15, 2007 6:11 PM

mmm...nothin' says "fundraiser for dying children" like a camel toe on display.

Posted by: wsapnin at November 15, 2007 6:28 PM

I was actually thinking further to shitteous douchebagus. A whole new species could be discovered today.

Posted by: katy at November 15, 2007 6:52 PM

Personally, I prefer to think of the term "hot mess" as a mess of a person that is unpleasantly sweaty and sticky. Like, warm rotted meat or something.

Posted by: erin at November 15, 2007 7:06 PM

yessssss, thank you so much for the conan clip. holy god, the nights he'd bust out both the walker lever *and* the ge phone were possibly the funniest things to ever hit the tv screen. oh he wins at life, so hard.

Posted by: betsy at November 15, 2007 9:37 PM

What? What?? Someone stole my "recipe" for bacon wrapped turkey? Seriously Pajibites, try it. I have been making it this way for thirty years (the oldest living--and still semi-mobile--Pajib[i]an). You get all the flavor with none of the basting. (Time better spent with a Martini--only gin, per previous thread!)

Also, careful there Agent Scully, that much alcohol in the oven could easily start a fire. Better to simmer the flavorings of choice (I use carrots, celery, scallions, lemons, rosemary, bay leaf) in the champagne and reduce it to a syrup before ladling it inside and over the turkey. But, I do add at least one cup of Pinot Noir to the drippings (and NO FLOUR) to make the most delicious au jus gravy any of my guests have ever tasted. As for stuffing (yes, stuffing not dressing; put as much inside the bird as possible) nothing beats a citric laced dried cranberry and wild rice and oyster stuffing. A little (or a lot) of Andouille sausage also adds to the depth of flavors. The turkey is wonderfully perfumed and flavored inside and out.

Sorry TK, I just had to share. Hey, those fixin's topped off with my Jack Daniels/chocolate/pecan pie have kept me happily (all but) married for thirty years.

I apologize for jumping on this thread. It's a family tradtion: my family's reaction to life (happy, sad, whatever) is to chop onions and garlic, cook a meal, and talk through the issue/celebration. I believe you do not really know someone until you have broken bread with the person.

Posted by: rudy at November 16, 2007 8:57 AM

Pfffffft EVERYONE knows the real money is in brining your bird 12 hours before roasting.

BAM!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 16, 2007 9:10 AM

Brining--for 12 hours--BS? I do not believe that my investors would regard that as an efficient use of time. The over/under of that investment is negative. It might even be challenged as a waste of assets.

Backatchu, Bubba.

Posted by: rudy at November 16, 2007 9:30 AM

Hahahahahaha, believe me it's worth it.

Call it....investing long term in hope for a high yield.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 16, 2007 9:40 AM

BS, as the Chief Pajib[i]an Investment Advisor, you are all too aware that the expected outcome will more than likely not equal your hopes. Now that you are honorarily Series 7 certified, you know that yield goals must be based on time in and out of the market. One invests long term for incremental and sustained growth rather than high yields. The results are inversely proportional to the inputs. Hence, your bird would indeed be cooked but unlikely to produce the desired asset growth.

Posted by: rudy at November 16, 2007 10:04 AM

That clip just made me realize how empty my nights are without new Conan shows. Sad, but true. Sigh.

Posted by: em at November 16, 2007 10:41 AM

Rudy: My experience (based on previous roastings) tells me that juiciness and tenderness yields WILL be above all conservative expectations.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 16, 2007 11:50 AM

Conceded BS, but I hardly expected you to be a conservative investor or gourmand. That's for Floridians in God's waiting room and the teachers' pension funds. Where's the old BS passion? Don't wuss-out on us now, especially with the American standard trading at record lows. We expect no less than a full-on Cajun Tur-duk-en from you. Yankee brinin' don't make your portfolio go "WooHee".

Posted by: rudy at November 16, 2007 12:04 PM