free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 11/13/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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‘Cause You Had A Bad Day…

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | November 13, 2008 | Comments (37)

With the kind of luck McCain is having, suddenly all that time he spent in the POW camps isn’t looking so bad in comparison. (Celebslam)

What do Miley Cyrus and Stephen Baldwin have in common? (WIMB)

The Boozehound said that I should preface this link to a Kirsten Bell interview something about incoming jizz and having to wear safety goggles, but I told him that I am just too much of a lady for that kind of vulgarity. (AV Club)

Photoshop depictions of What If Every Famous Person Got What They Deserved? (Cracked)

Oh, come on now. If you’re actually going to admit to a police officer that you have a raging case of the diarrheas, the lest he can do is not ticket you. (QuizLaw)

Mmm… Timekillerey… Here’s an extensive slideshow of chefs and cooks from the large and small screen. (zap2it)

More proof that the “Today” shows remains above and beyond the gold-standard of morning news magazine journalism. (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter are just your average Hollywood couple. (Film Experience)

American Apparel is knee-deep in shit again, which really sucks because I love their clothes but feel guilty shopping there. (Evil Beet)

The name is Astley. Rick Astley. (Agent Bedhead)

If “Pushing Daisies” gets canned, it may find a second life in comic book form. I’m sorry, but that won’t work for me as Lee Pace’s smoldering hunkiness and Anna Friel’s fun wardrobe comprise at least half of my interest in that show. (TVWeek)

Here is an interesting piece on caricaturist David Levine, whose work has been featured in The New York Review of Books for decades, as well as Time and Newsweek. (ASWOBA)

Having a baby and starting a family has, for whatever reason, turned Christina Aguilera into a sloppy mess of a drunk. Does she even sing anymore? (cityrag)

Here is every genre of film boiled down to five minutes, as animated by the genius Don Hertzfeldt:

Genre

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Oooh, Stacey went to press *before* the t-shirt closeout was over.

Balls, kid. Ya got balls.

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 12:17 PM

If you're actually going to admit to a police officer that you have a raging case of the diarrheas, the lest he can do is not ticket you.

My best friend did that when he was 17 (except he was LYING) and he still got ticketed. He went so far as to have his doctor write a note, and he got the ticket taken away in court.

Shameless.

Posted by: Julie at November 13, 2008 12:18 PM

Oh and I forgot:

Now take your "athletic fit" and shove it, ya gangly fucknose.

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 12:24 PM

I used the diarrhea excuse to get out of TWO traffic tickets. (It helped that I swung into a CVS parking lot at one of those times, you know, for effect.)

I'm going to admit right here that I don't get Pushing Daisies. I've tried watching it, I'm sorry, it just does nothing for me. Fire at will.

Has anyone wished Sarina and Axe Mistress many happy returns of the day yet?

Posted by: Nicole at November 13, 2008 12:31 PM

A hardcore SQUEE for Photoshopped pictures today!

That Ric Astley picture made me nearly shit myself. And I'm in class right now, so that's probably bad. Fuck, I've gotta get back to learning about Alexander Pope. Essay on Man can suck it, though. Because Astley as Bond is on my computer screen. FTW.

Posted by: AudioSuede at November 13, 2008 12:36 PM

I used the diarrhea excuse to get out of TWO traffic tickets. (It helped that I swung into a CVS parking lot at one of those times, you know, for effect.)

Wait, has everyone done that? They always say "don't say you're in a hurry" as the cop will deem you willfully reckless.

Hmmm.

Not that I'm a girl though (though that's a pretty difficult excuse to flirt up, I'll admit).

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 12:36 PM

I've been pulled over four times and received ONE ticket. Tears and boobs are a wicked combination.

Posted by: Julie at November 13, 2008 12:37 PM

Tears and boobs are a wicked combination.

But push your hubris and you'll wind up like Adrienne Barbeau.

Be careful out there!

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 12:39 PM

And yes, happy birthday Sarina and lizzieborden!!

Posted by: Julie at November 13, 2008 12:39 PM

I did on FB, but I'll do it here, too ('cause one can never get too many good wishes). Happy Happy, Sarina & Lizzie!

Nikki, you're not watching the puppycam *and* you "don't get" Pushing Daisies? Are you trying to hurt me? Is this fun for you???

Posted by: Lainey at November 13, 2008 12:43 PM

Yay, Happy Berfdays!

Posted by: tt_marie at November 13, 2008 12:44 PM

It's ok, Stacey, I feel bad for occasionally shopping at AA too. I try to only get stuff on sale. And as I've advised people twice now, about the Pajiba shirts, you always have to go up at least one size with their products, if not two. They cut like they're only dressing the vaguely underfed looking teenagers that populate their advertisements.

And Happy Birthday to Lizzie and Sarah! Woo!

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at November 13, 2008 12:48 PM

Nikki, you're not watching the puppycam *and* you "don't get" Pushing Daisies? Are you trying to hurt me? Is this fun for you???

Dahlin', I'm not trying to hurt you on purpose, it's just that I've gotta be me. *blows kisses*

Posted by: Nicole at November 13, 2008 12:51 PM

To each his/her own, but American Apparel clothes are fugly and all their ads are scuzzy, like porno scuzzy. Why anyone would observe their ads and aspire to look like that, I can't imagine. No accounting for taste, I guess.

Posted by: Slash at November 13, 2008 1:03 PM

Slash, I am terribly sorry that someone pissed in your cereal this morning and took a huge steaming dump on your front porch. At least, that's what must've happened for you to openly impugn the taste of at least two people on this very comment thread and the company making tee shirts being sold by the proprietors of this website on no basis but your own limited observation of some advertisements. Obviously under such circumstances, your rudeness is completely understandable.

Bless your heart.

Genny (Who does not look porno scuzzy or fugly)

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at November 13, 2008 1:23 PM

I don't like American Apparel because their clothes are not exactly flattering for my body type. I'm like Taft without the bitchin' 'stache.

Posted by: Snath at November 13, 2008 1:41 PM

"that's what must've happened for you to openly impugn the taste of at least two people on this very comment thread"

Aw, c'mon Genny, he didn't say you *were* fugly and scuzzy, only that you aspired to it. See? There's a silver lining in every fugly, scuzzy black cloud.

Posted by: Wednesday at November 13, 2008 1:47 PM

Yeah, it's just like the old "Student" fit horrors of childhood.

Who had the Huskys? Hands up!

I always thought they were dubious, I just didn't have a clear reason why. Then I heard their sizing wasn't uniform and ran small (and rumoredly based on whoever the owner was schtupping at the time), and the ads did get, well, uglier, which many Pajibans were distressed about, aaaand some of their clothes are just out and out ridiculous and say nothing to me about my life (though they sometimes try to remind me of the past in bizarre ways).

So if there's lawsuits I'm definitely snickering. Sleazy fair labor?

Of course I wasn't calling Stacey gangly, she's gamine.

What's funny is that my gangly friend told me the AA shirts make him feel fat. We shouldn't be able to relate on clothes feeling too clingy, but he hallucinates that he's a rectangle like me.

Snath, why aren't you growin that shit, then? Or are you like me: easy to shave off but too widely spaced to even attempt any substantial hedge action (if I in fact wanted it, which I don't, fortunately)?

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 2:00 PM

That's exactly it, Jay. My facial hair is about as thick as a twelve-year-old's. I blame my Chippewa blood.

Posted by: Snath at November 13, 2008 2:18 PM

Be careful what you wish for. I having been trying endlessly to get the fucking Nutcracker music out of my head today. My daughter is in it every year and the rehearsals start in September. Sep Tem Ber. Like, right after Labor Day? So what do I get instead? That insipid butt fucking song up there. Wish granted! Thanks for nothing.

Posted by: slower lower at November 13, 2008 2:24 PM

Ahhh. Yeah, I had a friend with a big Cherokee streak and there was almost nothing on his face. My whiskers are pretty thick, there's just not so many of them. Kinda weird. Thus the "sexy stubble", if there is ever such a stage on my face, maybe only lasts a day. No, I'm kidding, I don't think it's ever there. But I don't sandpaper women at least. One for the pro column, eh?

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 2:24 PM

Now I'm imagining you look like Gary from Team America in his terrorist disguise.

Posted by: Snath at November 13, 2008 2:33 PM

"But I don't sandpaper women at least. One for the pro column, eh? "

Excellent. Meet me in the broom cupboard in five minutes and give me my birthday present.

Posted by: Sarina at November 13, 2008 2:47 PM

I, uh........I've never seen it.

BACK! BACK, YOU DEVILS!

A cupboard? Ohhh you know that's not my style.


*inner monologue* *a now-sweating forehead revealed in the spotlight*

"Oh god, this is why I'm single!!"

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 3:07 PM

"A cupboard? Ohhh you know that's not my style."

Fine. You pick the place, then. See, I'm flexible.*

*And also bendy.

Posted by: Sarina at November 13, 2008 3:10 PM

Whoa! Jay finally scores! No more waiting around for Helena big man.

Speaking of men, can we please stop saying the "pregnant man" is pregnant again? He is a woman. He wouldn't be able to have a baby if he was a man. A banana is a banana, not a penis.

Posted by: Cindy at November 13, 2008 3:17 PM

Golly, I'm not sure how to take that.

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 3:20 PM

RE Genny (also Rusty): You'll get over it.

Posted by: Slash at November 13, 2008 3:23 PM

Genny is not fugly or scuzzy! She's pretty and clean and her poo smells like rainbow puppy unicorns. And also roses.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 13, 2008 3:38 PM

Cindy, that is. I think I know what Sarina's talking about (corruption).

I mean, come on, I believe in being picky! And I hardly ever meet single women anyway (oh I got married friends and married friends of friends, you bet), and I'm lousy at starting conversations and usually don't. So striking out doesn't even come into it, dammit!

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 3:38 PM

"I think I know what Sarina's talking about (corruption)."

Indeed. Why are your pants still on?

Posted by: Sarina at November 13, 2008 3:54 PM

Hooray Don Hertzfeldt!

Posted by: Beauregard at November 13, 2008 4:12 PM

Hey now, don't rush me.


I'VE MADE THAT MISTAKE BEEE-FOOO-OORE!


(OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAIIIIII!)

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 4:14 PM

"I feel bad for occasionally shopping at AA too."

Is that the new 13th step? Cool. Ima buy me some shot glasses at my next meeting.

Posted by: bucdaddy at November 13, 2008 7:24 PM

Posted by: Jay at November 13, 2008 7:27 PM

Just some good-natured teasing Jay. I think you're very sweet, and I have no doubt the right girl will be along to snatch you up in no time.

Posted by: Cindy at November 13, 2008 8:30 PM


Hee Hee, Cindy said "snatch".

Posted by: Drake at November 14, 2008 11:14 AM