Jennifer Aniston finally spills about everything from Angelina Jolie to John Mayer. And, spoiler alert! It’s boring! (Celebitchy)
Amy Winehouse has finally completed her transformation into the guy from Journey. You know the one, but I couldn’t find his name. Little help? (WIMB)
What’s this? A genuinely heartwarming story on QuizLaw, with no rednecks getting intoxicated and feeding babies meth? And it involves dogs? A-mazing. (QuizLaw)
And while I’m on the subject of canines, this video made me squee in places I’ve never squee’d before. Just trust me, it’s fuckens adorable. (omg blog)
Oh hell: More puppies and puppies and puppies! Thanks, Lainey! (PuppyCam)
I saw Of Montreal play in Philly on Halloween and they covered “Day Man” from “It’s Always Sunny.” I didn’t even think about looking it up on YouTube, but just came across this post which has the footage. It was. So. Awesome. (YouAin’tNoPicasso)
Here is the All-American pickup truck. In Bush’s America, maybe — which is just about fucking over. Yeah! High-fives! (KSK)
And speaking of the end of Bush’s America, here’s kind of a scary thought. What if there’s nothing to make fun of anymore? (CC Insider)
Marvo reviews a prepackaged omelet normally served to our US Troops and it seriously looks like the grossest thing I’ve ever seen The Impulsive Buy review before. (TIB)
Here are the men behind your favorite liquors, and no I don’t mean Boozehound and Prisco. (mental floss)
Nicole Kidman is looking… Different. I can’t place my hands on it so much as squeeze the air with them and make honking noises out of my mouth. (Popoholic)
In my opinion, there are no “victims” when it comes to cosmetic surgery because you pretty much bring that on yourself. At any rate, Nikki Cox looks like complete shit. (Yeeeah!)
Any resident NYC area Pajibans who’d be interested in a peaceful protest against Prop 8 tonight, (alliter-icious!) here are the deets. (Film Experience)
For only $20 per month, you too can join the Kevin Bacon Movie Club:
Gee, here's some advice, RACHEL, since you are basically an unemployed no-entity in Hollywood due to the fact that a significant number of people have rejected you (including your husband and numerous boyfriends), why don't you SHUT THE FUCK UP already.
Angelina is better than you, at everything, including fucking your man, now take your place as Beta female with some dignity....if you have any left.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2008 12:11 PM
Wasn't Nicole Kidman recently pregnant? Cause I'm like 90% certain those are baby-boobies aka modestly endowed ladies' reward for child-bearing.
Is anyone getting a little sick of Jennifer Aniston constantly giving interviews about how 'over' her former marriage she is? I mean, I guess it's mostly cause people are still asking her about it, but if I spent five years reassuring folks that I was totally over some dude who likely cheated on me, they'd throw my ass into therapy head first.
I suspect you're thinking of Steve Perry. Um...I'm kind of embarrassed about knowing his name.
Posted by: telesilla at November 12, 2008 12:16 PM
And man that puppy WAS! AWESOME!
PUPPIES RULE!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 12, 2008 12:20 PM
As someone who has partaken of both c-rations and MREs, let me just say all military food is disgusting. Thank goodness for German bakeries.
Posted by: Cindy at November 12, 2008 12:25 PM
Word, BSlim. I bet she's the kind who brings up the same old shit EVERY DAMN TIME she has an argument with her man. If I was Brad, I'd have dumped her flat ass, too.
If she was doing anything interesting or had anything else of import to say, the interviewers wouldn't be beating this dead-ass horse all the time. She could have parlayed the post-divorce sympathy into something positive for her image, but instead she's managed to just make everyone sort of look at Brad Pitt and say, "Dude, I TOTALLY get it now."
Posted by: Amelia Bedelia at November 12, 2008 12:28 PM
Cause I'm like 90% certain those are baby-boobies aka modestly endowed ladies' reward for child-bearing.
Be one hundred percent sure Genny. Those Popoholic people apparently never breastfed.
Posted by: Cindy at November 12, 2008 12:28 PM
Thems puppies are MINE!!!
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at November 12, 2008 12:28 PM
Cindy...what are you talking about? Some of those MREs were pretty tasty. Especially with the little bottle of hot sauce that was included with every meal.
I still think that Jennifer and Angelina need to have a final showdown fight to let everyone know who Queen B is. In jello. Naked.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at November 12, 2008 12:32 PM
Of course you think that, Shadows. Who here is surprised? No one.
Anyway, Lainey, are you trying to infect the whole world with your awesome puppycam drugs?!
Posted by: Axe Mistress at November 12, 2008 12:41 PM
Is that really Kevin Bacon in that clip? He looks like Gary Busey and a haystack had a baby.
Posted by: firedmyass at November 12, 2008 12:49 PM
If she means Steve Perry I'd have to give her the gas face. No no, I'm sure she means the guitartist...uh.....oh, Neil Schon, right?
I didn't see Of Montreal last Saturday because, I dunno, they're just too much for me these days. The last time I saw them in Athens it was like "this all sounds good, I have no idea what any of the words are and it seems very far away and cold". Just doesn't seem that friendly these days. They have given me some of my favorite pictures in the past though, and I'm grateful.
*heehee* For a sec there, Shadows, I thought we were still talking about Nicole Kidman's boobs.
Lainey, damn you and your cuddly-wuddly addictive dogs!
Posted by: meaux at November 12, 2008 12:55 PM
Glad to have confirmation on that, Cindy, as I've never breast-fed myself. The "her boobs got bigger, she must have implants" meme bugs me nearly as much as the "from this angle her stomach looks larger, she must be pregnant" one.
Of course, I'm kind of disgusted by the way women's bodies are viewed in the media in general, so I'll go be crabby in my little corner over there.
Glad to have confirmation on that, Cindy, as I've never breast-fed myself. The "her boobs got bigger, she must have implants" meme bugs me nearly as much as the "from this angle her stomach looks larger, she must be pregnant" one.
Of course, I'm kind of disgusted by the way women's bodies are viewed in the media in general, so I'll go be crabby in my little corner over there.
Only the truly brave/stupid soldier tests the omelete MREs. The smart ones suddenly became vegetarian when it was chow time.
Also, that puppy cam is going to keep me occupied for hours, if not DAYS.
Posted by: Gabs at November 12, 2008 1:05 PM
So many puppies...EEEEEEEEEE! I just had an adorgasm! It's like an orgasm, but adorable! Thank you Lainey, for reminding me why I'm a dog person.
Posted by: Jeremy Feist at November 12, 2008 1:13 PM
re: "adorgasm"
Jeremy, just when I think I love you, you make me hate you. Sigh.
That said, that is ridiculously cute and endlessly amusing. But then, I literally spent half an hour yesterday watching my dogs chase each other around a tree. The did it non-stop. For 30 minutes. It was almost zen-like.
Shadows, our definitions of tasty are clearly very different. I mostly starved in the field.
Posted by: Cindy at November 12, 2008 1:30 PM
I am confused: is it that Aniston keeps talking about it, or that the interviewers keep asking? Because it is a world of difference. I can't say I've seen any interview of hers where she brought it up on her own; and 90% of the stuff on her aren't interviews, just rumor and hearsay. She seems to be very quiet about her life, not really bringing it up unless someone else does. I mean, it isn't like she goes onto a stage in front of fans and bash her ex-husband like SOME people.
But what really gets my goat is this buying into the tabloid hype. I mean, we are ready to question stuff like CNN and MSNBC (and flat out refuse to accept Fox News), the "real news" folks. We fully acknoledge that they can (and will) manipulate facts and play on emotions to garner attention. Yet we completely buy whatever yarn is being weaved from star-wanking celeb magazines and gossip websites (Sorry Stace, but it is true)? Really? No skepticism whatsoever? Or worst yet, we simply accpet whatever stories confirm our unfair and basically ignorant biases against whatever person they are talking about.
It is amazing what gets people to happily turn off their critical thinking skills, really.
I suppose what I really wanted to say was:
I still think that Jennifer and Angelina need to have a final showdown fight to let everyone know who Queen B is. In jello. Naked.
I'll bring the popcorn.
Posted by: Vermillion at November 12, 2008 1:33 PM
With yesterday's wiener-in-a-bun puppy and now today's puppy overload, my dog thinks she won the affection jackpot. I've been giving her massive tummy rubs and ear scratches because I've been reminded of how cute she was as a wiener-puppy.
Posted by: Snath at November 12, 2008 1:38 PM
*desperately attempting to avoid the puppy cam*
I have an image to maintain here, Lainey. I'm supposed to be the axe weilding crazy person, not the one cooing over adorable... cute... wee... oh god, I give up.
Posted by: axe mistress at November 12, 2008 1:38 PM
Yeah, Jeremy, you thank me now. You may be whistling a different tune in 6 hours when you're bleary-eyed and have done NOTHING but watch the puppies. Even while they're sleeping. *sigh* I can't believe I'm going to say this - thank godtopus for Websense or else I'd have been fired this week. The puppies are MESMERIZING!
PS: Apropos of nothing - a woman in my office is wearing acid washed, pegged jeans today. Is she 10 years behind or is this coming back?
aaaaahhh damn you Lainey, just when I'm starting to kick the addiction. And y'all can fight over the rest of them, but I want Purple (awww, look at him chewing on his stuffed carrot).
Posted by: s. pisaster at November 12, 2008 1:45 PM
HA! Now I will no longer be the only one whose house is getting dirtier and dirtier, whose bills go unpaid, whose hygiene habits have become increasingly questionable due to Puppy Addiction!
P.S. Shadows, Lainey, stay away from my puppies!
P.P.S. That little howling puppy was on Cute Overload a while back, and I'm going to steal him too.
I smell, and I blame Lainey.
Yep, it is Neal Schon. Why do I know this!? Ugh. I disgust myself. I secretly ... love Journey. Dammit.
RE: Nicole Kidman, her boobs are fine, it's her face I'm worried about. She looked so pretty while she was preggers and couldn't do all that stuff to herself (botox etc.). Her old, regular face was nicer than this current one. And I must agree with Genny about the women's bodies in the media, and blame Nicole's face on that.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 12, 2008 1:47 PM
He looks like Gary Busey and a haystack had a baby.
That almost killed me.
Posted by: Julie at November 12, 2008 1:53 PM
I refuse to give in to the puppies, do you hear me, Lainey? Refuse, I say!
Y'all can keep your little cuddleumpkins of adorableosity, because I found out the history of my husband Johnnie Walker and that, my friends, is the most important thing that has happened to me all day.
TK, I will watch my dog run around in circles for fifteen minutes at a stretch. I find it relaxing.
Posted by: Nicole at November 12, 2008 1:56 PM
Lainey...don't make me hurt you. And not in a "ooh, sexy spankings!" kinda way.
AvB...you can only play with the puppies if you take this drink beforehand...
meaux, them puppies are nice too!
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at November 12, 2008 1:56 PM
Also, , I don't have dogs but I have watched squirrels do that in my backyard. They are speedy little fuckers. Hilarious.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 12, 2008 1:58 PM
Oops. See? Evil puppies made me forget html. that should read, "Also, TK, ..."
Mm, is that roofie-hazelnut blend, Shadows?
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 12, 2008 2:00 PM
telesilla,
Embarrassed to know Steve Perry? No way, sing it loud and proud, like I do every chance I get at karaoke. Plus, he (and Arnold Pineda) keep alive the dream that I too can someday be discovered online as a replacement for an outdated classic rock front (wo)man. In fact, I recently heard rumors of a Led Zeppelin tour, sans Robert Plant. My first reaction was "what's the point?", but now realize that this may be just the job opening I've dreamed of my whole life. All those nights of rock 'n roll karaoke nights may finally pay off. You heard it here first...
Anyhow, I do think that Wino is more of a Neil Schon double here.
Posted by: lynx at November 12, 2008 2:04 PM
Actually, I decided to vary things up a it and make it an iced mocha with extra chocolate...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at November 12, 2008 2:13 PM
I'm not in the mood for puppies. I'm in the mood for gremlins.
Posted by: Julie at November 12, 2008 2:19 PM
Who would win in a tickle fight: the whistling puppy, or the dog that blows bubbles?
Also: It's always funny in Silly-delphia!
Posted by: bostonadrianne at November 12, 2008 2:22 PM
Oh, dammit TK! Just when I thought I won you over. le sigh...oh well, I'll win you back eventually. You know you can't resist all of this (*Motions to the sad, empty void where my ass should be*).
Posted by: Jeremy Feist at November 12, 2008 2:29 PM
SHHHHHH Julie! They'll hear you! We are trying to avoid a Gremlins remake. The Powers-That-Be have Interweb spies everywhere.
Posted by: Snath at November 12, 2008 2:37 PM
Glad to have confirmation on that, Cindy, as I've never breast-fed myself.
I've never breastfed myself, either, Genny (also Rusty)! I've breastfed a baby, though.
No, wait, I've never done that either. I'ma stay a modestly-endowed lady for the forseeable future. But I do know comma placement! :)
Posted by: Lizzie (greeneyed fem) at November 12, 2008 2:51 PM
I refuse to give in to the puppies, do you hear me, Lainey? Refuse, I say!
Posted by: Nicole at November 12, 2008 1:56 PM
Look into my eyes...deep, deeeeep within my eyes...you will watch the puppies, Nicole. You will watch the puppies and you will love the puppies. Watch the puppies, Nicole...watch the puppies...
When I snap my fingers, you'll awaken refreshed and alert.
Glad to have confirmation on that, Cindy, as I've never breast-fed myself.
I've never breastfed myself, either, Genny (also Rusty)! I've breastfed a baby, though.
No, wait, I've never done that either. I'ma stay a modestly-endowed lady for the forseeable future. But I do know comma placement! :)
Posted by: Lizzie (greeneyed fem) at November 12, 2008 2:51 PM
I'ma that was obnoxious, Lizzie.
Posted by: Comma Nazi at November 12, 2008 4:09 PM
PS- It was obnoxious for the FORESEEABLE future. I'ma like to spell words correctly.
Posted by: Word Nazi at November 12, 2008 4:11 PM
"I've never breast-fed myself."
G(aR), Um, if you ever decide to try, mind if I watch? Not for prurient reasons, just cause I'd like to know if it's physically possible, like sticking your head up your ass or going and fucking yourself.
In the interest of science.
Posted by: bucdaddy at November 12, 2008 4:24 PM
Yeah, yeah, I should've added a comma or put in "personally" instead of "myself". Shut up, I was tired.
And, bucdaddy I don't think I could manage it, but I'm sure you can find someone who could. Google might prove to be quite helpful in your search.
Because, Genny (also Rusty), fucking Pitt was the only relevence Jennifer Aniston ever had? 'Ever notice how she starts slobbing his knob and then all of a sudden she's a "movie star"???
Posted by: Case at November 12, 2008 5:04 PM
I still think that Jennifer and Angelina need to have a final showdown fight to let everyone know who Queen B is. In jello. Naked. I'll bring the popcorn
And I'll bring a couple cameras and some tissues.
Posted by: lordhelmet at November 12, 2008 5:34 PM
Kevin Bacon is my pal.
Posted by: Lucas at November 12, 2008 6:07 PM
What? No one's made a "Steeeeeeeeeeve PERRY!" Baseketball joke yet? C'moooooon.
Posted by: Iris at November 12, 2008 7:32 PM
In the name of everything holy:
PLEASE WORLD SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JENNIFER ANISTON.
It's been THREE. FUCKING. YEARS! Get the hell over it!
What pisses me off the most is what a jackass Aniston is being. Just go away you stupid woman! you look pathetic!
Posted by: figgy at November 12, 2008 7:50 PM
yaaaay puppies!
Hey I have an idea! Let's get "GEE LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME" Aniston a puppy. Then everyone will be looking at the puppy and ignoring her and the world will be a better place.
puppies!
le sigh!
can you imagine what it's like around here when SEVEN bunnies get wound up??
yup. that's how i wound up with seven. when one will chase itself for 15 minutes, you KNOW you've hit the jackpot!
Posted by: bionic bunny at November 12, 2008 8:42 PM
hey 'barbado slim' how about you shut the fuck up angelina is fucked in the head shes been known to make out with her own brother and the creepy ass shit she did with her former husband proves shes nothing but a classless husband stealing whore who doesnt have shit on jennifer. dont fucking judge aniston she has just as much a right as anyone else in this world to be upset over a divorce and losing the man she loves. and with the talent and dough she brought in from friends i guess RACHEL has you and angie beat fucker.
Posted by: julie at November 12, 2008 11:35 PM
.... so, Jennifer Aniston reads Pajiba? Who knew?!?
Posted by: monkey_b at November 12, 2008 11:43 PM
"dont fucking judge aniston she has just as much a right blah blah blah..."
And yet, I just did.
And Angie and I are doing just fine, thank you very much.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 13, 2008 6:04 AM
wow julie....thats a whole lot of investment in someone whose a whole lot of beige...
Posted by: nikky at November 13, 2008 7:17 AM
An intense beige, as the Judybats would say.
But I bear no ill will. I just always liked Monica and Phoebe more.
......yeah that was unfortunate. Had to be done though, right?
No?
Fair enough.
Posted by: nikky at November 13, 2008 8:12 AM
Dang, try to make one little grammar joke and get called obnoxious. I guess tone really doesn't carry on the interwebs. That, or having an English teacher for a mother has permanently warped my sense of humor.
(Misspelling a word while pointing out a grammar error? Ironically embarrassing! Thanks, Nazi!)
Posted by: Lizzie (greeneyed fem) at November 13, 2008 9:04 AM
I guess tone really doesn't carry on the interwebs.
Sigh. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer - don't you know that you should build mystique about yourself and not tell the whole damn world about your feelings? Watch Angelina. She doles out little tidbits here and there to keep us interested, but she doesn't tell us about every dump she takes. Seriously. The thing with Brad was a blow to your pride. We know that. The best thing you can do is smile enigmatically and say "I wish the two of them and their beautiful children all the best" and keep it at that. Everybody will wonder what your secret is. Then you can take it all out on John Mayer.
Posted by: samantha t at November 13, 2008 10:35 AM
Damn it, as of the time I left work yesterday, the comments thread had yet to devolve into a Brangeloonie/Aniston war. I thought Pajiba was above it all...
That said, I *might* be on Team Aniston. She looks damn fine in the swim wear pictures in that article. Just sayin.
Also, Angie's a homewrecker!!!!!!!! Hahahahaha!!!! Hee!
*runs away before B Slim can kick my ass*
Posted by: tt_marie at November 13, 2008 11:24 AM
Nikky - Aniston is the dictionary definition of beige.
Posted by: samantha t at November 13, 2008 4:48 PM
Re: Cheese omelet
Every time I've been deployed, this is one of the MREs to be avoided at all costs, with good reason as demonstrated by the intrepid Reprobate. The only passable thing in the entire package is the dried-up generic pop-tart.
The best MRE out there is definitely the tuna, in case someone feels like giving it a whirl...
Gee, here's some advice, RACHEL, since you are basically an unemployed no-entity in Hollywood due to the fact that a significant number of people have rejected you (including your husband and numerous boyfriends), why don't you SHUT THE FUCK UP already.
Angelina is better than you, at everything, including fucking your man, now take your place as Beta female with some dignity....if you have any left.