Pajiba Love 11/04/09

The Voices in Steve Guttenberg's Head Discuss a Three Men Sequel

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (40)

Steve Guttenberg is talking to the little men who aren’t really there about another Three Men sequel he’s “producing” and that he, Ted Danson and Tom Selleck are supposedly going to star in. You really have have to just nod politely and not make any sudden movements in these type of situations. (Gordon and the Whale)

The new poster for Creation, the true story of Charles Darwin, has been released, and I agree with ‘Bedhead: He’s creating something, all right. (Agent Bedhead)

I’m sorry, I don’t want to appear unsympathetic to any woman who has been the victim of abuse, but does anyone else think that Rihanna’s big “opening up about the incident” publicity tour is just one huge eye-roll? (Litelysalted)

I think I’m gonna go out and buy one of these things when my ovaries start acting up on me. (Unreality)

To celebrate the 20th anniversary edition Blu-ray and DVD of Say Anything, hoardes of men in trenchcoats took to the streets of NYC blasting “In Your Eyes” out of boomboxes. Wait, where was Dustin yesterday again? (Cinematical)

There’s an awesome new website that lets you stream your favorite crappy childhood cartoons. In other words, clear my calendar. (Topless Robot)

Chris Martin might be cheating on Gwyneth “Sunny Personality” Paltrow. I wonder if the next issue of GOOP will be about where to find the most delightful divorce attorneys who will eviscerate that cheatin’ man. (Superior Gossip)

I caught a snippet of a preview of the big stupid staged wedding episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” last night while I was waiting for “V” to start (which I ended up turning off 25 minutes into it) and all I can say is that I hope they all die, horribly. (Celebitchy)

Here are confessions of an actual Ross Dress For Less employee. Also, I love it when people refer to “Ross” as “Ross Dress For Less.” (Holy Taco)

Oh, awesome. Kirstie Alley is getting a new reality show that’s almost definitely going to focus on her struggle with weight loss. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I saw that Oprah interview when she said she likes to melt entire sticks of butter on pasta. Girlfriend just wasn’t meant to be skinny. (DListed)

If you’re looking to encounter a real-life celebrity, here are some sure-fire places where to find them. (Frothy Girlz)

Which celebrity couple would you ever want to hear details of their sex life the least? Well here’s Nicole Kidman on her fetishes with Keith Urban. You’re welcome (Yeeeah!)

The word “douchebag” has been getting a little overused lately (but so other few words … fit!) but now douchebags everywhere are taking back douchebag:

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Comments

Oh come on, Bettany and Missus. Keep in in the bedroom. No one wants to see that.

I hope that website has Jem. And My Little Pony.

They don't! aah, bastards. No love for Jem and Ponies.

Posted by: figgy at November 4, 2009 1:08 PM

We've always referred to it as Cross Dress For Less.

Posted by: krix at November 4, 2009 1:13 PM

Oh that *video* ! Love it. It ran a wee bit long ... but [sigh] brought
a tear to my eye.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at November 4, 2009 1:17 PM

The cartoon site has The Wonderful Wizard of Oz series.

I think this is going to cut into my NaNoing time.

Posted by: Robert at November 4, 2009 1:17 PM

Chekov once said that if a gun appears in the first act, it must go off by the third act. By the same token, when you begin a sentence with, "Hoardes of men in trenchcoats took to the streets of NYC," that stupid song is NOT were I expect you to end up.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at November 4, 2009 1:17 PM

Darwin was one of the original communists.

True Story

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 4, 2009 1:24 PM

Here's a challenge for today: does anyone know someone who is the amalgam of every single one of the douchebags in that video? Because I do. And he's now a police officer.

Posted by: Benny at November 4, 2009 1:28 PM

RE Rhianna: I'm getting tired of the marketing of misery overall. Unless you have something truly unique and/or enlightening to add about your experience with drugs/alcohol/ abuse/gambling, save it for your therapist.

Having every other celebrity making public statements (that conveniently dovetail with the pimping of a book, tour, TV show, movie, etc.) about whatever issue they have just about cancels out any sympathy I might have had for him/her.

Note (not only to celebrities but everyone else): PLEASE STOP SHARING. Unless a conversation lends itself naturally to personal anecdotes about unfortunate events, just keep it to yourself. Because when you seem to be doing it only to garner attention to yourself, and especially to further any commercial endeavors, it makes people not want to hear it from anybody. It makes it seem like just another PR strategy.

Yeah, I get the irony of telling other people to STFU when I'm doing it in a comment thread on the Intertubes. But then, I'm not expecting Baba Wawa or Oprah or Nancy Grace or whoever else to put me on TV, either.

Posted by: Slash at November 4, 2009 1:42 PM

I'm so tired of people like Kirstie Alley. You going on TV touting that you have to/need to lose the weight is precisely the problem. Why? What is wrong with you? I mean, she's certainly not obese. Big for sure, but not Momma Cass huge. That's what sends the message to big people that it's not okay that they are who they are and fuck you if you're not into it. We need more fat role models, that's all I'm sayin'.

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at November 4, 2009 1:45 PM

Can we get actual confirmation on Guttenberg being alive? I'm pretty sure I took him down back in '98.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 4, 2009 1:49 PM

Bitch, please. Your ass couldn't even take down the little lady in the sequel.

Posted by: TK at November 4, 2009 1:58 PM

I'm with Kirstie. Mmmmmm, butter.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at November 4, 2009 2:01 PM

But John Denver's Wingman, if fat people felt good about themselves who'd buy diet drugs that made you shit your pants? Won't someone please think of Big Pharma? /snark>

Posted by: Inaras at November 4, 2009 2:02 PM

...night while I was waiting for “V” to start (which I ended up turning off 25 minutes into it)

This has been bothering me for a while, but I don't know how to express it. Isn't that last "it" unneeded? I commonly hear something like this at work:

"It would take X for us to do Y. Which, we can do that, it's just gonna take a while."

To me, it seems either the "which" or the "that" needs to be dropped. Alternately, just replace the "which" with "and". I can forgive painting yourself into a corner with a word(who among doesn't occasionally end a sentence in a preposition?), but it seems to me like my coworker is attempting to sound smart by using "which"(not that I'm accusing Stacey of this). Any English majors out there that can help me out? Am I crazy?

Posted by: pissant at November 4, 2009 2:02 PM

Bitch, please. Your ass couldn't even take down the little lady in the sequel.

Posted by: TK at November 4, 2009 1:58 PM

----------------------------------------------

Anytime, anywhere, dirtbag.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 4, 2009 2:04 PM

Oh come on, Bettany and Missus. Keep in in the bedroom. No one wants to see that.

Speak for yourself... at least where Paul Bettany is concerned.

Posted by: appwitch at November 4, 2009 2:09 PM

"We're at your mom's house making her air tight"
Ha!
Douchebag.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 4, 2009 2:26 PM

Didn't Chekov also once say "Nuclear Wessels"?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at November 4, 2009 2:33 PM

"Am I crazy?"
Ummm. Maybe a little.
But this English major thinks the 'that' in your scenario is unnecessary. I don't really see how it is similar to the 'V' comment, although I guess that sentence would have been tad tighter if it had read 'Which I turned off after 25 minutes.'
But, what do I know. I failed Basic Grammar.
Twice.
Shut up, that is a HARD class!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 4, 2009 2:36 PM

Oh hey, isn't that AXE body spray at the end of that video?
I rest my case BSlim (from yesterday)

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 4, 2009 2:41 PM

Yeah, you want me.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 4, 2009 2:47 PM

Sorry that I don't know how to quote / code, so here's this.
Benny wrote: Here's a challenge for today: does anyone know someone
who is the amalgam of every single one of the douchebags in that video?
Because I do. And he's now a police officer

If I'm reading that correctly, my answer is decidely 'Yes'... and it's many of
the men here in So CA. Really makes the dating scene stink. An unfortunate
side note is, I know severl that are police officers. Sooo, not just extra douchey
but type A and overbearing to boot. NOT all, but a decent segment of the group.

The video cracked my butt up though. Seeing so many 'recognizable' behaviours.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at November 4, 2009 2:59 PM

I want that WiiBabyRemote for my new nunchucks video game.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 4, 2009 3:00 PM

I don't really see how it is similar to the 'V' comment

I should've explained better. I feel Stacey's "which" stands for the "it", in the same way my coworkers "which" stand for the "that".

This is why I asked for help. It's like the "which" does its thing and also takes the place of that word that people needlessly(I might be as bold to say incorrectly) place at the end. I don't know. Is redundant the word ~~I'm looking for~~ for which I'm looking?

Posted by: pissant at November 4, 2009 3:01 PM

Wow, Paul Bettany has become Vic Morrow. Find a couple of look-a-like Asian kids and at last Landis can finish his Twilight Zone segment.

Posted by: laredo at November 4, 2009 3:11 PM

MOBLER!?!?

Be still my beating heart. That is the coolest thing I've seen in awhile. I LOVE that movie!!

"I'm Lloyd Dobler!"

Posted by: grace b at November 4, 2009 3:32 PM

The "Ross Dress For Less" thing is annoying. I didn't know about it until I went into one of their stores to get some stuff for Halloween. Anyway, it sounds like the employees had some fun there. It reminded me of two of activities I enjoy from time to time: (a) coming out of a port-a-potty at an outdoor event (say, Oktoberfest) and saying "sorry it took so long, I dropped my keys" and then holding up my sanitizer covered hand as if to high five, and (b) acting drunk in a dressing room and slurring out repeated cries for more toilet paper.

Posted by: laredo at November 4, 2009 3:34 PM

It's not perverted to press Jennifer Connelly against your penis! Maybe she'll think twice about being so sexy if she doesn't want relucatant Naturalists gettin' all up in that ass!

Posted by: Kballs at November 4, 2009 3:59 PM

One more thing:

Lamar Odom lost a baby to SIDS a few years back. I would lose my mind in a myriad of ways if that happened to my kid, so I'll let a desperate grab for love with a celebutard slip under my radar, thank you.

Posted by: Kballs at November 4, 2009 4:02 PM

"It would take X for us to do Y. Which, we can do that, it's just gonna take a while."

Pissant, it's a case of multiple pronouns referring to the same antecedent. It's down somewhat on the list of peeves, but could be cleaned up a bit as mentioned. In the case of your example, the second sentence actually carries 3 pronouns which all refer back to X. The Listener (A) has presumably asked if Y is achievable and what it might cost. The Speaker (B) has replied with the following facts in descending order of importance:
Y is achievable
Y is dependent on X
X is achievable
The only cost of X is that it will require some time.
"Y is achievable but dependent on X, which is achievable but time-consuming."

I miss diagramming sentences.

Posted by: laredo at November 4, 2009 4:23 PM

Yeah, you want me.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at November 4, 2009 2:47 PM

Well, DUH!!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 4, 2009 4:24 PM

Laredo:
Shut up and kiss me!
English-Major geek is HOT.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 4, 2009 4:27 PM

Damn, Lindsey gets around.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at November 4, 2009 4:51 PM

Jealous?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 4, 2009 4:52 PM

lardeo,
Thanks. I am heartened by your explanation, but saddened it is only a peeve. Oh, were it an error! At least I still have affect/effect, it's/its, and a healthy amount of there/their/they're.

Posted by: pissant at November 4, 2009 4:59 PM

Posted by: Slash at November 4, 2009 1:42 PM
---
I once had a neighbor in my triplex tell me she'd been raped, maube 30 seconds into my first conversation with her.

Yeah, such a thing as TMI.

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at November 5, 2009 1:18 AM

A dear friend of mine used to work into every conversation with anybody the fact that she had had cancer. The waitress at Denny's ("just some toast, can't eat too much because of the cancer"), the clerk at JCPenney's ("I can't wait for a sale, the cancer might come back"), the poor associate at Home Depot ("do you carry welcome mats, where would I find them, I just got over cancer"). The expression on that last guy's face is etched into my memory; poor kid just wanted to earn some cash after school and was in no way prepared to cope with a complete stranger telling him such personal and tragic news about herself. She was a fabulous person in many ways, but oversharing was definitely one of her flaws, and I had to stop shopping with her after that.

Posted by: DeadBessie at November 5, 2009 8:04 AM

Soooooooo... when are you guys going to review Gentleman Broncos?

Posted by: Eva at November 5, 2009 10:53 AM

Interesting douchebag fact: early in E.T., C. Thomas Howell's character calls Elliot a douchebag (or douche, i can't remember which).

Posted by: icecreamang at November 5, 2009 12:16 PM

Don't forget "Penis Breath".

Posted by: laredo at November 5, 2009 5:27 PM

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The Voices in Steve Guttenberg's Head Discuss a Three Men Sequel

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