Pajiba

I love those Up posters too! They had a few like them for Wall-E. And since no else seems to enjoy them I got a framed one at the Disney store for 6 bucks. It's super cute and says the new sensation in waste allocation.

I will never laugh at Jack Burton! NEVA!

And those Up posters are the tits.

I've never heard a Lady Gaga song until Cartman sang one of her songs on South Park. I just wanted to know what her appeal was. The song didn't strike me as anything original or different or meaningful. It seems (at least to me) that she's just famous for dressing like an art school student desperate for attention. Am I pretty accurate with that assumption?

1.One of the reasons why I could never really get into Cars* was Owen Wilson's voice. Now this? eesh. Not that movie wouldn't suck balls anyway, but this just puts it into complete shit territory.

2.Photo cliches I am sick to death of: the pictures of everyone's shoes in a circle. The picture of the hands making that retarded heart. The portrait of the person holding up the peace sign (backwards) in front of your face.

THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

3. Last night I saw another creepy DirecTV ad: Kim Basinger and Dana Carvey. Kim Basinger's face looked freakishly smooth, like plastic. Did not like.

Fuck that noise, Nick Swardson deserves no ire nor is he an unfunny schmuck like Dane Cook. You should all be ashamed.

When what you wear gets more attention than your voice, you've essentially failed as a singer. Which is kinda sad, because the handful of times I've seen her perform live, her voice didn't seem all that bad. Quit trying so fucking hard, lady.

Also, I really like Kelly Osbourne. I can't help it.

It seems (at least to me) that she's just famous for dressing like an art school student desperate for attention. Am I pretty accurate with that assumption?

henchman,
I've always gotten the impression that she writes and produces her own material. I could be wrong, though. It seems she actually does have talent as a singer and writer/producer. Just Dance is a pretty good pop song as far as pop goes. And I find it admirable if she wrote it.

When what you wear gets more attention than your voice, you've essentially failed as a singer. Which is kinda sad, because the handful of times I've seen her perform live, her voice didn't seem all that bad. Quit trying so fucking hard, lady.

Skitz,
I don't think she'd label herself as a singer. Before she was famous for her music, she was in what I'm going to label pop/80s glam rock burlesque shows, or something along those lines. She's more of a performer than a singer, though they go hand-in-hand for most. She has her own production house and seems to be very interested in how she is perceived. Basically, I don't think it is just about the music for her, even though that is the main way people experience her output.



I'm undecided on her at this moment. I haven't heard anything but Just Dance and Poker Face(well, excepts for the VMAs). Unlike most pop ladies, she seems to be aware of what she is doing. She also seems to be fairly insane, which I like.

Of course, I could be entirely wrong about all this. Hold shit, I just wrote quite a bit about Lady Gaga.

Aww, young Kurt Russell. How sweet.

How great would Nathan Fillion (basically as Capt. Mal) been as Han Solo?

Space Cowboy.
Check.
Too pretty to die.
Check.
So hot I want to ride his renegade ass like the Thoroughbred of Sin until he bends to my will. But not really control him completely, because the fact that he is an untamed maverick is soooo hot.
Check,and Check.

Yeah, that would be cool.

Yeah, so I'm watching last night's Castle. I am completely in love with that Guitar Hero scene right now.

I will take one of each of those Up posters, please. NOW.

Also, I just went to the Disney website and apparently they have a stuffed Dug THAT TALKS. It doesn't look like Dug though, so fuck that noise.

Lady Gaga is a singer/songwriter/producer/costume designer/performance artist. The label can afford to pimp her out like their bottom bitch because she's not nearly as expensive to keep on a deal as some more manufactured acts. And believe me, they had to pimp Just Dance until the track was rode hard and hung out wet. Not quite as hard as Maroon 5 with Harder to Breathe (pushed hard and long enough that This Love was practically guaranteed airplay just to bury Harder to Breathe), but this isn't 1999 anymore. You can't just put a dance beat under inane lyrics on a debut act and expect it to work. Lady Gaga probably has to dress that way just in case she has to go out on an emergency call to sell a single in the flyover zone.

That is why she's famous. NJ always produces the classiest of classy musical stars. Surely when I think of Lady Gaga, I think of a refined and understated young woman with limitless potential. I mean, she doesn't have hooker nails, dolphins can't jump through her hoop earings, Ed Hardy doesn't own real estate on her ass, and she doesn't rock a bumpit or side pony unironically. That's super classy for 2009 NJ.

Your keyboard is writing checks that your body can't cash, baby.

You have no idea what my body can cash.
No.
Idea.
*Widens stance. Lifts chin. Squares shoulders.*

" *Widens stance. Lifts chin. Squares shoulders.* "

Sounds like you and me are going out.

Oh yeah.

/sprays on more AXE

Yeah, Swardson is pretty awesome as Terry. I saw bits of his stand-up show and was horribly disappointed. Farts. Farts are hilarious. Farting is also funny. And the smell of farts. Sigh.

I'm funnier than he is when I'm barely conscious and firing on one cylinder. And impromptu. That was shit he WROTE. And re-wrote. AND TRIED OUT ON PEOPLE. Damn.

I need to get me a comedy show.

The Poor Man's Dane Cook Getting His Own Show (Guess What Network!)

They already made that show, it was called Mind of Mencia.

Whoa. WHOA! Hold up. I love Nick Swardson. It's completely unfair to compare him to Dane Cook. He's not a dick (I met him at a concert in Minneapolis. Thoroughly alright guy.), he doesn't steal other people's jokes (or resort to hackish humor that anyone could do), and he's not so over-energetic and ridiculous that five seconds of his material is enough to burst a blood vessel in both of your eyes. His Comedy Central Presents... specials are both at least funny, if not very much so.

I'm all for hating on the stupid shows that Comedy Central greenlights, but don't hate on Nick Swardson. Dude's funny, and talented, and not nearly (I mean, not 1/100) as douchey as Dane Cook.

However, he's no Kyle Cease. That guy gets no credit. Where's his show?

but up until now I thought the audition tapes existed only as Patton Oswalt bits and SNL sketches

Or on the dvd box that came out several years ago. What an amazing discovery, Filmdrunk! Haven't I lambasted you before?

Jeebus, AvB. WE ARE NOT MONKEYS HERE. No pooping in the thread!

. I like a man that smells like a man.
The kind of masculine smell that foggs up your brain and turns inside your gut. The kind of scent you want to drink in.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at November 3, 2009 3:11 PM
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*sniffs pits*

That would be 2est and Old Spice, Luv.