free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 11/03/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Oh Yeah It’s Ladies Night…

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | November 3, 2008 | Comments (21)

I know today is technically Paheeba Day, but if you think about it I am kind of like the King of the Pajibettes… Right? Because let me tell you, this place was a real dick ‘n balls fest before I showed up here. Look at how far we’ve come, ladies!

So for our first link, really, the only appropriate thing I could find was this list of 10 Horror Movie Castration Scenes. Mildly NSFW, if a picture of a rottweiler with a wiener in it’s mouth constitutes something you shouldn’t be looking at in the office. (Street Boners & TV Carnage)

Wow, Joaquin Phoenix is like totally cool. About as cool as goth kids in middle school who pretended to cut themselves. (WIMB)

Fervent and Somewhat Off-Their-Rocker McCain Supporter + Halloween = Biggest Buzzkill Ever. (QuizLaw)

Holly Madison jumped from Hugh Hefner to Criss Angel. With a string of hunks like these, I can only expect her next beau to be Chuy from “Chelsea Lately.” (Yeeeah!)

I’m so sick of researchers using pop culture to blame for teenagers fucking. Maybe kids don’t fuck because they watch “Gossip Girl,” but “Gossip Girl” just happens to be the type of programming which appeals to kids who are sexually active anyway. Anyone think of that? (Jezebel)

Scientology goons are beating the shit out of people again. God, I wish somebody would castrate them. (Agent Bedhead)

Today in “Products I’m Amazed Exist,” High School Musical: the cereal. (TIB)

Palin once again proves herself to be a big dumb sack of crap. If Obama loses I call a Pajiba-wide pact that we all drink ourselves to death. (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Heidi Klum wins at Halloween again this year. (IDLYITW)

This is why I adore Nathaniel so much, because he totally shares my unadulterated love of the very much unappreciated yet awesome Tom Lenk, who I just mentioned last week due to his coming out of the closet. (Film Experience)

For the bargain price of a brand-new Macbook, you can have your old Macbook turned into this sweet Mac Tablet. (Galley Slaves)

Dustin’s imaginary boyfriend completed the NYC Marathon in just under four hours this weekend. Dustin, on the other hand, finished a 6-pack of beer and an entire pizza in about the same time. (Celebitchy)

Here is a “Photoshop McCain and Obama into a Movie Poster” contest. Seriously, what is Pajiba Love going to even do after this election is over? (FARK)

This here is my favorite thing that happened during the 2008 World Series. I think I’ve watched it 20 times now and it never stops being funny: (Thanks, Prigge!)

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Holly would be lucky to get Chuy.

Posted by: Marra at November 3, 2008 12:05 PM

I second that, Marra. Chuy is the cutest nugget ever.

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 12:08 PM

I'm in on that drinking thing - but not to the death - I've still got some living to do. How about drinking until the plane lands in Mexico?

Posted by: Cindy at November 3, 2008 12:15 PM

Stace, you are indeed the Supreme Pajibette. And not in a Diana Ross type of way.

I will take that Palin-win pledge. Let me see - I don't want to waste time and money on the good stuff, so I might just stock up on Bankers' Club gin.

My favorite moment of the entire World Series extravaganza, personally, was Chase Utley declaring "World Fucking Champions" on live TV, but that's probably because I want to ride him senseless. Fans falling off streetlights? Meh. It's Philly.

Posted by: Nicole at November 3, 2008 12:17 PM

ahahahahahaha, bottle in the head, indeed.

Posted by: jamiepants at November 3, 2008 12:18 PM

What the hell is going on around here? I'm thoroughly confused. Not like, can't figure out a Rubik's Cube confused, but like a "How come it doesn't burn when I touch it, but it burns when I pee?" confused...

That being said, Heidi Klum's costume looks like it'd be a royal pain in the sweaty ass to wear. That being said, if I could punch anybody on the planet right now, it'd still be that Pratt prick. A close second punch would be the photo-twat(s) that actually follow them to Taco Bells, pumpkin patches and gun ranges.

Posted by: Skitz at November 3, 2008 12:29 PM

Skitz, Rubik's cubes aren't that hard to figure out. It's all on youtube, my friend.

*plays with her cube. Her Rubik's cube, perverts*

Posted by: Sofía at November 3, 2008 12:36 PM

Wow, this has just been a phenomenal week for me. House made out with Cuddy, my baseball team won the WS, Julie and I caused a minor implosion by being in the same place at the same time, my boobies made the EE, my Facebook farming enterprise is booming, and I got quoted on Celebitchy.

I'd like to thank my computer, for letting me become the internet loser that I am today, and Comcast, for giving me a semi-reliable interwebs connection. Finally, thank you Godtopus for making me the fast typer that I am today.

*bows and walks offstage*

Posted by: Nicole at November 3, 2008 12:49 PM

That video is utterly disturbing and unfunny...

Until they start chanting Holy Shit and the editor confirms it. Then I peed my pants a little.

Nothing tops the lead singer of Panic! being bottled for not being able to sing, though. Nothing. It happened, what, three times in one week and wound up being the cover story for NME.

Posted by: Robert at November 3, 2008 12:52 PM

Some rejected slogans for High School Musical: The Cereal

- "You can literally taste the Gay"
- "Now you can swallow, just like Zac!"
- "Free Ashley Tisdale (pre nosejob) mask included!"
- "Free Ashley Tisdale nosejob! *with 5 box tops, plus S&H"
- "Now with 15% more minorities!"
- "The official cereal of effeminate teenage boys, and their soon to engage in teen pregnancy BFF's."
- "LOLZOMG!!!11!!! This cereal is sooooooawesome. K?"
- "Oh yeah, this'll be the cereal that totally gets you laid."
- "Note: Do not sell to adults without first confirming that they are NOT on the list of registered sex offenders."

and finally..."Insert your own Vanessa Hudgins milk joke here."

Posted by: Mike R. at November 3, 2008 1:41 PM

Ha! I continue to love Teeth.

I freakin' love Heidi (Klum, not -andSpencer). I love that she has this love for Halloween. She seems like someone I would totally be friends with, having drinks at happy hour and making fun of all the badly dressed locals.

Haven't teenagers been fucking since... well, since there've been teenagers? I mean really, how do you think the human race is still around when average life spans have, at times, been 25*?

* Disclaimer: I completely pulled that number out of my ass. However, I don't believe it invalidates my point, which is: teenagers fuck, end of story.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at November 3, 2008 1:42 PM

during the street party after the Jays won the World's Series in '93 (ahem...not going to say who they beat...) I saw a guy do this same thing on a lamp post on Yonge Street... completely naked... but instead of throwing bottles at him, he was dropping cans of beer that he had in a backpack (so I guess he wasn't completely naked) down to the people below him. i think he made a lot of friends that night.

Posted by: causaubon at November 3, 2008 1:44 PM

If Obama loses I call a Pajiba-wide pact that we all drink ourselves to death.

Wait a minute here...You mean we AREN'T doing that already? Aw, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. I would be incredibly angry right now if the room weren't already spinning.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at November 3, 2008 2:06 PM

Teenagers fuck even more when the TV's off and they're bored. If it weren't for 'Gossip Girl' and Nintendo, all 700 of those kids would've been knocked up.

Posted by: Kris at November 3, 2008 2:32 PM

So I thought that I could get away from craziness on Friday by going out to the 'burbs (aka Haverford College's Quaker Archives Collection aka Kingdom of Nerds). The Dude got stuck at 16th & Chestnut with some crazy Northeast family of 25. At least he got to see Chase Utley, he says.

Anyways, after my lovely quite morning in Haverford, PA, I trek to the Ardmore Junction Route 100 stop, only to "walk-in" on two teenagers, one of whom was giving the other a hand job (can you walk in on someone if they are in a public outdoor space?). Eek! It's 1:30PM on a Friday in Haverford and all of the sudden I have 18 years old peen in my face! Ack! (seriously, not to be a prude, but good Lord, kids!) I quickly turn around so they can get their shit together (fuck you, I'm not letting them finish, I don't want to miss the train!).

We small talk. Which, to the boy, means asking me if I get high and if I do (and he KNOWS that I, he insisted), would I buy them beer in exchange for their weed.

um, no.

Then, three older people walk onto the platform (we were there for 1 hours, THANKS SEPTA!!!). The boy proposes to them as well, You buy me beer, I get you high. Seeing that he was loosing his audience, he reaches into his bag and retrieves...that's right, a giant bag of weed! To which the gray-haired lady had the best reply:

"Honey, I haven't been high in years. Now, put that away."

awesome. Then, one of other dudes with the lady, reassesses his original response of "You're one crazy white boy." He walks over to the kid and says:

"Let me see that shit again. Okay, yeah, I'll buy some of that off you."

Kid: "You wanna buy me some beer instead?"

Man: "Naw. I just wanna buy your weed."

good God, Philly has lost its mind. Also, I told my dad this story. His only question was:

"Wait, if the kid was drunk, how could he still get it up?"

Me: "Dad, he's 18."

Dad: "Ah, sweet memories of youth..."

so, yeah. The moral is: no matter where you went in the Philadelphia Metro region this weekend you were met with INSANITY. Also, I like fun punctuation. OOOH, and JULIE, JULIE, JULIE, I lost my old phone so I no longer have your number. Call me for Eagle fun sometime soon.

Now, off to study some more.

ta

Posted by: Estelle at November 3, 2008 2:35 PM

I'll text you today Estelle!

Posted by: Julie at November 3, 2008 2:40 PM

Julie, I am a nerd who hates technology. My phone doesn't accept or "do" texts...

Posted by: Estelle at November 3, 2008 2:52 PM

Hee, then I'll call you AND mock you. :)

Posted by: Julie at November 3, 2008 2:55 PM

Dear Joaquin:

You have gone past endearingly nutty and are rapidly approaching crazy-ass douchenozzle. We've lost too many good actors this way. Pull it back a little, please.

Also, take a goddamn shower, man. You look like shit.

Love,
Mimi

Posted by: Mimi at November 3, 2008 3:32 PM

House made out with Cuddy,

WHAAAAAAT? I have SO got to start watching this show again.

Posted by: Gabs at November 3, 2008 8:52 PM

Estelle, your story is AMAZING! And there's a good chance I might have bought him that beer. Then again, I'm only a few measly (but rapidly increasing) years past being 18, so such retardedness should be excused.

... right?

Posted by: monkey_b at November 4, 2008 12:22 AM