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Larry David Pisses Off Christians by Pissing on Jesus


Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | October 29, 2009 | Comments (55)


Is anyone else surprised that it actually took seven entire seasons of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” for Larry David to finally rile up the bible bunch? (Warming Glow)

Just in time for Halloween, here’s a list of the best commercials featuring monsters — not including that stupid goddamn restaurant guide vampire commercial that I saw like five times last night. (Topless Robot)

Huh. This sounds like the worst idea anyone has ever had, ever: A reality show that tries to play matchmaker to Octomom and Jon Gosselin. You know I’m totally going to be watching this shit. (Agent Bedhead)

I wonder why Brittany Murphy doesn’t get any work anymore. Oh, it’s probably just because she’s batshit fucking insane. (Celebslam)

Ooh, grab some popcorn and Raisinets — Levi Johnston and Sarah Palin are flinging shit at each other again. (Celebitchy)

Wow, I didn’t think I could possibly be more convinced by Dustin’s review of the horribleness of that new puppet show on Comedy Central until Jeremy went and did a real time review of it. *Shudder* (Notes on Bar Napkins)

Bea Aruthur left a huge chunk of her fortune to an organization that supports homeless gay teens. As Ranylt quite simply put it, “Bea Arthur continues to be awesome from beyond the grave! (feministing)

I’m totally excited for the upcoming Gentlemen Broncos, and for no reason other than I think it’s cute, here’s an exchange between Jennifer Coolidge and Mike White on the subject of Mike White’s white teeth. (Gordon and the Whale)

And this is why Miley Cyrus is bad for everyone. Some deranged fan is threatening to kill and devour his or her pet cat “Fuzzy” if Miley Cyrus doesn’t reopen her twitter account. (DListed)

“American Idol’s” Adam Lambert didn’t spare any of the gay for the cover artwork of his new album. (Yeeeah!)

Natalie Portman, you disappoint me. Apparently she think using animal products is “rape” but whatever it was that Roman Polanski did to that 13-year-old girl was A-fucking-OK. (Thundersquee!)

Here’s a last minute costume guide for everyone like me who’s going to a Halloween party tomorrow night and still doesn’t have a costume. Hmm … I like the American Apparel model idea but don’t think I could pull it off since I actually have breasts. (Zelda Lily)

Finally, many of you know that I am also the webmistress of the now defunct celeb gossip site, Webster’s is my Bitch. However we’ve just relaunched with a new name and new layout, so come poke your head in and say hi! (litelysalted)

Rich over at FourFour posted this clip of an insane person shilling an insane dog training product. But mostly I’m just wondering if this is Nathan Fillion’s long-lost and less attractive special needs brother:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


The Ten Most Bad Ass Jesuses | Eloquent Eloquence 10/28/09



Comments

OK, that Adam Lambert cover cannot be real. It's one rainbow away from being the gayest thing I've seen since the Patrick Swayze centaur tattoo.

Posted by: figgy at October 29, 2009 1:07 PM

Why the stupid autoplay music video BS on your website guys? I often view different pajiba articles in multiple tabs and just now that damn song playing from three different tabs at the same time and I could not even FIND the stupid window to mute it amongst all your other flashy ads on the side of the page. Do you hate us? You really want us, or me at least, to stop coming here?

Posted by: Eva at October 29, 2009 1:12 PM

Brittany Murphy is my kinda gal.

/call me babe

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 29, 2009 1:13 PM

Luanne Platter lives!

Posted by: figgy at October 29, 2009 1:15 PM

I love anyone who pisses off the bible bashers. That said, this is far from new. Andres Serrano did Piss Christ back in 1987 which created much more anger than this.

The commenter from Fox.Can someone teach him that there are far more languages that just Islam, Christianity and Judaism? Making fun of other religions is ok I guess for fox as long as they are not any of these three.

It's either protect all religions (and how would one protect them?) or none.

Posted by: barf at October 29, 2009 1:17 PM

Eva, sorry about the ad. Dustin is trying to figure out where it's coming from so he can do something about it.

Posted by: Stacey at October 29, 2009 1:18 PM

Natalie Portman doesn't think of eating animal products as rape, but way to jump on the media bandwagon. If you'd actually like to read her remarks, in order to sound less ignorant when you post a news item about her, here's a great article about the whole misunderstanding:
http://www.movieline.com/2009/10/natalie-portman-vegan.php

Posted by: Sheri at October 29, 2009 1:20 PM

Thanks. :)

Posted by: Eva at October 29, 2009 1:20 PM

I typed languages instead of religions in my previous comment. I'm at a lecture and we're talking about languages. Sorry for typos. Trying to concentrate on two things

Posted by: barf at October 29, 2009 1:22 PM

i'd like to beat natalie portman about the head and chest with a strip steak.

Posted by: stopthemadness at October 29, 2009 1:23 PM

Yeah... the bar for "batshit insane" has been set so high (esp. in Hollywood) that it's gonna take a whole lot more than someone screaming from their own balcony late at night to get me to stick that label on him/her.

If Brittany Murphy was screaming from someone else's balcony, she might qualify as the 5 millionth craziest person in America.

Posted by: Slash at October 29, 2009 1:25 PM

I wasn't nearly as horrified by a drop of pee on a Jesus picture as I was by the hanging on ending. Talk about not knowing whether to laugh or scream.

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2009 1:26 PM

Natalie Portman doesn't think of eating animal products as rape, but way to jump on the media bandwagon. If you'd actually like to read her remarks, in order to sound less ignorant when you post a news item about her, here's a great article about the whole misunderstanding:
Posted by: Sheri at October 29, 2009 1:20 PM
-------------------------------------------


Yeah let's take a look Natalie's Agen...err "Sheri"

"He posits that consideration, as promoted by Michael Pollan in The Omnivore’s Dilemma, which has more to do with being polite to your tablemates than sticking to your own ideals, would be absurd if applied to any other belief (e.g., I don’t believe in rape, but if it’s what it takes to please my dinner hosts, then so be it)..."

Yeah, where exactly is she being misunderstood? She's clearly equating not defending veganism with accepting rape in order to please a host. Or is that the wrong quote.

Oh, it isn't the wrong quote. Sounds like someone realized she put her big ol' meat foot in her Harvard educated Vegan mouth and now she's doing the damage control dance.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 29, 2009 1:32 PM

So, 3 old film cannisters with pennies in them are "space age" technologie. Who knew?

Posted by: BWeaves at October 29, 2009 1:33 PM

Posted by: Sheri at October 29, 2009 1:20 PM

Actually, that post actually PROVES she was equating meat-eating to rape. The only thing it argues against is the idea she approves of rape while denouncing meat-eating.

But, as so many have said, the Polanski petition did that one.

Posted by: Vermillion at October 29, 2009 1:40 PM

As BarbadoSlim gorgeously alludes, my argument was based purely on Portman's own words - and I specifically addressed the logic she used to arrive at the conclusions she posited in her essay.

She used the ol' let-me-draw-a-super-extreme example-so-that-people-are-titillated-into-understanding-my-point trick.

So...yeah...about sounding less ignorant...?

Posted by: Cait at October 29, 2009 1:40 PM

I just wish I could read this at work without being forced to use fucking Firefox because the Flash ads crash IE every time.

What the hell is "Slow Food"? It's gonna annoy me, isn't it.

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2009 1:41 PM

Larry didn't pee ON Jesus, it just splashed up. He couldn't help that. It was his new pills.

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2009 1:41 PM

I'm not Natalie's agent nor particularly a fan. Nor am I a vegan. But the essence of what she was saying is that when you feel strongly about a subject- like she does about veganism, like most of us do about rape- it's hard to hold back your opinion when the subject comes up. That is NOT the same as advocating rape, which is what most media outlets are foolishly spreading around.

Posted by: Sheri at October 29, 2009 1:47 PM

Larry, Dude.
Take a seat.
There's no shame in it.
Be a setter, not a pointer, for the good of bathrooms everywhere.
Jesus wept.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 29, 2009 1:48 PM

Not to be a whiner (who am I kidding), but I'm using Firefox and Pajiba has been crashin' it intermittently all week. What up with dat???

Posted by: MM at October 29, 2009 1:49 PM

But that's NOT her argument - her argument assumes a lack of free will, and it presumes that we're sheeple when it comes to societal norms.

Posted by: Cait at October 29, 2009 1:50 PM

That is NOT the same as advocating rape, which is what most media outlets are foolishly spreading around.

Posted by: Sheri at October 29, 2009 1:47 PM

----------------------------------------------

I might be willing to accept that, were it not for the fact that she just recently DID advocate rape. At the very least she should hold-off on dropping rape analogies at the drop of a hat.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 29, 2009 1:55 PM

That's not how I interpret her remarks, and to reduce her argument to "Natalie Portman thinks using animal products is rape" is irresponsible.

Posted by: Sheri at October 29, 2009 1:55 PM

Well, using rape related hyperbole to argue your dinner preferences is manipulative and stupid so I guess we'll call it even.

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2009 1:58 PM

But it's the logical extension of her illogical argument, Sheri - and that's my point. If you read what I wrote, you'll see that I approached it not from a standpoint of her advocating rape, but from the standpoint that she's throwing out multiple points of misdirection (logical fallacies) in order to justify her position.

That's the crux of my ignorant argument. ;)

Posted by: Cait at October 29, 2009 1:58 PM

I think "condoning" might be the better word.


Oh, it's crashing Firefox too?


Look, do you want people to read this site at work or not?

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2009 2:00 PM

Does anybody else think Adam Lambert looks a lot like Dead or Alive's Pete Burns?

Natalie, what's up with the crazy talk? First, you think it's fine for Polanski to cornhole 13 year-olds, and now you're equating delicious cheeseburgers to rape? I'm sorry. We had a lot of fun over the years, but I just don't think I can stalk you anymore.

Posted by: henchman for hire at October 29, 2009 2:03 PM

I’m just wondering if this is Nathan Fillion’s long-lost and less attractive special needs brother...

Holy crap, the resemblance is striking, especially the voice. Is this what Captain Mal would be doing if he had just accepted the alliance instead of rebelling? I'd still hit that.

And how much is this guy charging for the "pennies-in-a-can" strategy that my family has been using for decades? 'Cause I've got this whole "water-in-a-spray-bottle" thing I've been using for years on cats, and I'm thinking it's marketable.

Posted by: DeadBessie at October 29, 2009 2:03 PM

Cait, I'm not bashing your article, which I did read and find interesting and well-written(although I disagree with your conclusions). I have a problem with the headline that Stacey gave it in THIS article, while linking to yours. The article that I linked to is criticizing the way that media outlets have taken her remarks and reduced them to an attention grabbing misrepresentation of her remarks and run rampant.

Posted by: Sheri at October 29, 2009 2:05 PM

Does anybody else think Adam Lambert looks a lot like Dead or Alive's Pete Burns?

How dare you give him credit like that!! Glamberace's gonna up with something to top "Brand New Lover"?? Oh I don't THINK so!

But no, he just looks like an asshole.

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2009 2:12 PM

I think I'm one of three people in the country who just doesn't find much to laugh with in any show that Larry David is involved with. To me, he's extremely "meh". Seinfeld has a few funny moments and I appreciate it's cultural relevance, but I'll usually change the channel if it comes on or delete it from my TiVo before anything else (my husband records it) if I need to make room. That said, splashing urine on Jesus is so sad and tacky that I have a hard time getting riled up. I would feel the same if he pissed on Buddha, Shiva, or a picture of the Dalai Lama. Not cool dude.

Posted by: stardust savant at October 29, 2009 2:13 PM

i'm agreeing with barbadoslim. it's impossible for me to stomach her holier than thou attitude re vegetarianism or any rape-y analogies related thereto after she publicly supported roman polanski.

did i just say "thereto" on a blog?

sorry, i'm in the middle of writing a brief.

shenanigans.

Posted by: stopthemadness at October 29, 2009 2:20 PM

The article that I linked to is criticizing the way that media outlets have taken her remarks and reduced them to an attention grabbing misrepresentation of her remarks and run rampant.

Posted by: Sheri at October 29, 2009 2:05 PM

----------------------------------------------

In all fairness to the media, didn't she mean to make an attention grab? She wrote what can be described as an incendiary essay (which as it turns out, was incendiary)and now it turns out it is being scrutinized and held up in contrast to her previous actions. She had to had known this would lead to a shitstorm. Either she is so deluded that she thought it wouldn't be held up to scrutiny or she overestimated her media goodwill.

Either way this was: a VERY. STUPID. move.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 29, 2009 2:23 PM

I was so sure that Palin was going to get caught up in some illegal huntin’ shenanigans and not some young punk drama. Please let it come out that Levi "tapped" Palin.

Posted by: Guess Who! at October 29, 2009 2:42 PM

I have to agree with Slim and Cait on the Portman issue. Because let's be realistic...she equated, as Cait said, not defending your personal beliefs in a very public way when it's neither necessary or in good taste, to allowing yourself to be raped. Without even addressing the fact that she previously defended the actions of a child rapist (because let's be clear, that's what Polanski is.), she is, at BEST, one rude ass bitch when it comes to other people's personal eating habits.

My thought on veganism has always been live and let live, until you come at me with this butter is murder crap. Then you get a porterhouse to the face.

Posted by: Smokin at October 29, 2009 2:43 PM

My thought on veganism has always been live and let live, until you come at me with this butter is murder crap. Then you get a porterhouse to the face.

Posted by: Smokin at October 29, 2009 2:43 PM

----------------------------------------------

That's the other thing, in her essay she explains how she will no longer abide by the live/let live scenario. Her whole shtick now is all about becoming militant and getting all-up on people's grilles over this shit.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 29, 2009 2:49 PM

Smokin, I think you meant a tube steak to the face.

Posted by: Guess Who! at October 29, 2009 2:49 PM

Fuck all these ads with audio.

Posted by: Mohaski at October 29, 2009 2:49 PM

Look Moesha, these ads help Rowles defray some of the cost of keeping pajiba going.

Posted by: Guess Who! at October 29, 2009 2:55 PM

HA! I love you Whookie.

Posted by: Smokin at October 29, 2009 2:55 PM

I cannot even contemplate any of the other P Love entries or these
comments, as I'm just *livid* at the Dog Stopper guy / ad.
Is he and or the product he's attempting to shill for, actually an existing offer?!
I'm doing some research and hopping a plane and then I'm gonna cut a bitch.

I'm a huge dog person... a *long time* Aussie Rescue program rep... and fairly knowledgeable when it comes to canine training. If they think that slamming
penny cans onto the ground &/or scaring the crap out of your dog (then calling
them over and playing sweetie-pie. WTF) is the way to do any sort of training,
they're freakin high. Welcome to the present, where anyone with a computer can access correct and positive training methods of how to train your pet to be a
part of your home and family.

Many of you might not even understand how or why this pisses me off so much.
So... just know that I appreciate your time in letting me spout off here. ARgh.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at October 29, 2009 2:58 PM

Is it just me or does Adam Lambert look freakishly like Pink in that picture?

Posted by: Jeni at October 29, 2009 4:02 PM

Tally of Nathon Fillion references in last two days: 2

You guys can do it. Once every day. I know it's going to be difficult, but I believe in you.

Posted by: superasente at October 29, 2009 4:24 PM

Wait a minute? Did someone seriously just call a Pajiba Love headline irresponsible? Irresponsible?! What on Earth gave you the impression that this was supposed to be a responsible column?

Posted by: Stacey at October 29, 2009 4:33 PM

Larry David incurs the wrath of Christians by pissing on a picture of Jesus? Pffft. Ooohh, how shocking and controversial.

Look, if he really wanted to push boundaries he'd take a dump on a picture of Satan and incur the wrath of Dick Cheney...

Posted by: TheUpsetter at October 29, 2009 4:43 PM

Look, if he really wanted to push boundaries he'd take a dump on a picture of Satan and incur the wrath of Dick Cheney...

Exactly! Dude's a fucking amateur...

Posted by: MM at October 29, 2009 4:48 PM

I wonder how big the outcry would be if someone was shown defecating on a Star of David or on a Holocaust memorial? Just saying....

Posted by: Dude Manbro at October 29, 2009 4:54 PM

Is anyone else disturbed that the 4th most popular search in this place is for Human Centipede?

Posted by: figgy at October 29, 2009 5:03 PM

Well figgy it’s not like pajiba is filled with motherfuckers that made the Dean’s list.

Posted by: Guess Who! at October 29, 2009 5:59 PM

Dude Manbro

Come on. Really?

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2009 6:01 PM

Is anyone else disturbed that the 4th most popular search in this place is for Human Centipede?

Posted by: figgy at October 29, 2009 5:03 PM
---------------------------------------------------
I can't help it if I'm popular. I'm a people-person.

Literally.

Posted by: Human Centipede at October 29, 2009 6:23 PM

I want so badly for Palin to be caught poaching on that new National Geographic alaska cops show.

Side note: Any tips on how i can tactfully stop people from practicing musical instruments in the apartment above me? Cuz in about five minutes, i'm gonna go up there and tickle the ivories with their face.

Jeezy Chreezy, i'm hungry.

Posted by: Johnnyvonawesome at October 29, 2009 6:50 PM

Stop taking my name in vain! ;-)

God, I love Eddie Izzard.

Posted by: Cait at October 29, 2009 8:41 PM

You know, I've been eyeing this pair of america apparel shorts for the past week as a last resort. eerie. . .

Posted by: adam at October 30, 2009 12:00 AM





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