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Hot Vampire On Vampire Action, Now With More Fangllatio!

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | October 29, 2008 | Comments (36)

More topless sex scenes on “True Blood?” Maybe they should just cut out most of the dialogue and just call it “Vampire Porn.” Having said, I really need to start watching this shit. (IDLYITW)

Jessica Simpson’s Major Movie Star is number one at the box office. Yes? So wondering why you haven’t heard anything about it? (WIMB)

When you have a website where you routinely post pictures of random strangers and call them douchebags, you shouldn’t be surprised when one of those douchebags or douchettes sues your ass. (QuizLaw)

Coming from someone who has been known to, eh, own certain artifacts of Hello Kitty paraphernalia… Anyone who wears a Hello Kitty wedding gown should be shot in the face. Preferably with a Hello Kitty shotgun. (Jezebel)

Haha! Not so hot without your eyebrows, eh Megan Fox? (HotChicksWithNoEyebrows)

Due to my rampant egocentrism, I’m always surprised to hear that other parts of the country don’t always enjoy the same products I do. Really? Some of you have never even heard of Peanut Chews? Jesus! (SeriousEats)

Dan Carlson takes a look at Craig Thompson’s Blankets. (SlowlyGoingBald)

Here’s a timewaster sent to me by a friend with a really dorky sense of humor that reminds me just a bit too much of the retarded interactive xmas cards my dad forwards every xmas; but it makes fun of Palin so I’ll allow it. (PalinAsPresident)

Peaches Geldof (of Bob Geldof’s daughter fame, for those of you who don’t read British tabloids on a daily basis) tries her hand at writing; fails. (AgentBedhead)

With just six days left til Go-time, one of our own Pajibans has started his own bid for the United States presidency. (NotesOnBarNapkins)

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross have found themselves thigh-deep in shit. (Celebitchy)

Oh Em Gee. How cute is this? A teeny tiny New York City. (cityrag)

I’ve always said I could be entertained by Ricky Gervais reading the dictionary, so why not the script for the Sarah Palin Porno? Thanks Sofia!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

So this Vampire whatchamacallit is just a 21st century Electric Blue.

Bleh, I can get free porn without having to pay for the rest of HBO's craptastic programming.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 29, 2008 12:19 PM

It's the 3rd law of premium cable:

# of foreign actors + bad dialogue
___________________________________ = tits.

(hotness of actors)^2

Posted by: Marra at October 29, 2008 12:24 PM

Ricky Gervais may very well be the funniest man on the planet right now. I've always loved the interview he did with Chris Martin on his podcast. Gervais' personality and talent would look like Brad Pitt if it were personified.

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 12:25 PM

math
+_____________________ = Sofía crushing on Marra
3(witty entertainment
observations)

Posted by: Sofía at October 29, 2008 12:37 PM

Well, Jer, I love your platform, and it's much friendlier-sounding than the Admin11-led hostile takeover of the US. However, we need you up here! Why didn't you throw your name in the ring last month, dammit?! You'd have mopped the mothereffing floor with Stephen Harper.

That said, I could totally be your veep. My glasses are WAY cooler than Palin's.

Posted by: meaux at October 29, 2008 12:42 PM

Peaches WHO?

I might be wrong here, but my sources are trying to confirm if any human being named "peaches" has ever mattered...


...wait, I'm getting confirmation...

I was right! Not one.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 29, 2008 12:48 PM

Vampire porn is a great description - and I am loving it. Except for all that blood stuff. Seriously though, Alan Ball is even more warped than I thought.

Posted by: Cindy at October 29, 2008 12:57 PM

Well, Jessica Simpson's box office success confirms my assertion that a cardboard cut-out of her from the film Major Movie Star would have been an equal/ better running mate choice by John McCain.

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 1:04 PM

I love Graham Norton. Like, unnaturally for the fact that he is a gay chat show host.

I love Thandie Newton. She is fucking gorgeous and I have a major girlcrush on her. She is the reason I will watch The Chronicles of Riddick over and over.

I love Ricky Gervais. I would molest him given the chance, just to hear him whisper sweet nothings into my ear; plus, I think the orgasm would be double the fun if I were laughing hysterically.

As you can see, the combined elements above made that clip the best part of my week.

Posted by: Nicole at October 29, 2008 1:24 PM

Thanks meaux! But unfortunately, Canadian Politics are as boring as listening to your granny talk about watching paint dry. US politics are much more fun because they're so profoundly fucked up. And you can definitely be my VP any day. Actually, I need to fill a couple other positions. Anyone here interested?

And don't be silly, becks. A cardboard cut-out may have topped the box office in Russia, but she can't see it from her house, can she?

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at October 29, 2008 1:28 PM

I'm in for a position in your Canadian government Jeremy.

On the topic of Harper, he really fits in the category of 'freakiest looking people' from yesterday. He looks like a child toucher.

Posted by: becks at October 29, 2008 1:33 PM

Can I be Secretary of the Interior? Because I don't think anybody really realizes what the job duties are, and that means I could just hang out, talk to my friends on the government dime, maybe catch up on my reading. Also I think I could get into all National Parks for free.

I promise I won't mess with the Endangered Species List in a bad way.

Posted by: Wednesday at October 29, 2008 1:59 PM

Vampire porn doesn't sound too far-fetched. Just fuck a girl on her period.

Posted by: Sofía at October 29, 2008 2:01 PM

Am I missing something, or does Ricky Gervais seem to be the least funny person in that video. He says nothing. He does nothing. "Here's my line. 'I don't know.'" That was it? That was the funny? He was actually the straight man (well, literally) in that little skit.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 29, 2008 2:06 PM

Goddamn it, Jeremy. Why did you wait until the day AFTER I voted to kick off your campaign? I want my ballot back.

Posted by: Kris at October 29, 2008 2:09 PM

Jermey,

Can I be the minister of foreign affairs? I've never actually been anywhere but the US, Canada, and the UK for two weeks, but I have grand dreams of dry-humping my way across the UN.

My qualifications:

1. I can point out many nations on a map.
2. I'm horny.

Posted by: Marra at October 29, 2008 2:13 PM

Poor Peaches. It is to the detriment of everyone involved when the monstrously unskilled are lied to by the reckless brown-nosers in her life. I hope she unearths a clue.

Also, I wanted to use a word with "monstrous" in it. All Hallows Love!

Posted by: Beatific Barf at October 29, 2008 2:14 PM

Also, I wanted to use a word with "monstrous" in it. All Hallows Love!

Posted by: Beatific Barf at October 29, 2008 2:14 PM

--------------------------------------------------

That was awesome.

*HI-FIVE*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 29, 2008 2:17 PM

hey check out this video. it's so funny. http://www.youtube.com/user/Mollyfan18

Posted by: mhart at October 29, 2008 2:36 PM

Jermey? What am I, retarded? I'm so glad I didn't ask to be the secretary of edumacashun.

Posted by: Marra at October 29, 2008 2:37 PM

Vampire porn doesn't sound too far-fetched. Just fuck a girl on her period.

Oh, Sofia. Your cavalier perversity never ceases to amaze me. Let's make out sometime.

Posted by: Marra at October 29, 2008 3:10 PM

I was going to make a joke about how the white furry wedding gown would at least be appropriate, since anybody getting married in that would be a virgin, but then I came to the pink "gown" and threw up in my mouth a little.

Excuse me, I need to get some Listerine.

Posted by: Sabrina at October 29, 2008 3:22 PM

EWWWWW, You actually LIKE Peanut Chews?? Those things aren't candy...they pretend like they are and then you put one in your mouth and it's like an explosion of "WHAT IN HOLY HELL IS THIS???"

Posted by: NotBlonde at October 29, 2008 3:50 PM

Marra, I can't promise a make out session, but I'll let you grab'em and squeeze'em till they bruise.

Posted by: Sofía at October 29, 2008 4:29 PM

Well, Jer, I love your platform, and it's much friendlier-sounding than the Admin11-led hostile takeover of the US..

Meaux, this is treason. As such you will be punished in an accordingly Canadian manner. 10 lashes with a beer soaked beaver tail, six pints to kill the pain and a stern, but polite, shake of my finger. And since I feel terrible about the whole ordeal a "Sorry you got whooped" card.

You have bee warned.

Mr. Feist you will be installed as President after the takeover liberation. Of course you will be a Puppet President but the American people are used to this anyway so they won't really notice.

Next week people. We're coming.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 29, 2008 4:36 PM

Incidentally, we all know the solution to Jessica Simpson's box office woes. It's time she just manned the fuck up and put 'em on the glass.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 29, 2008 4:41 PM

I think I'm kind of in girl love with Thandie Newton now. She does a pretty good Palin impression.

Instead of doing interviews with those retards from "The Hills" and similar crap, why don't American talk shows do more stuff like this, I'd actually consider watching them again.

Posted by: Slash at October 29, 2008 5:01 PM

2010 is 11!

GAAAHH!!

Posted by: Jay at October 29, 2008 6:34 PM

Admin11: Not to worry, I'm plenty used to having another guy's hand up my ass. Hey-oooooo! Just kidding, that would kinda gross.

becks, Wednesday and Marra: consider your positions granted.

Kris: Terribly sorry. I'll try again in four years.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at October 29, 2008 6:48 PM

Admin11, OK if I just skip to the six pints? Beaver tail ain't my bag.

Becks, he is one creepy-looking mofo, isn't he?! Someone on this site once called him "Lego-hair Harper," and damn, it's so true. (I forget who that was, but whoever you are, you rock!)

Posted by: meaux at October 29, 2008 7:05 PM

Hooray! For the first time in a long time, I'm excited about an election.

You know, if the Republicans had solicited votes this way, I think they'd be doing better in the polls right now.

Posted by: Almost Secretary of the Interior Wednesday at October 29, 2008 8:03 PM

Peaches the artist is pretty rad. I would argue that she matters.

Posted by: serena at October 29, 2008 11:59 PM

Don't worry, Meaux, beaver tail is totally my thing. As long as it isn't attached to Tila Tequila.

Wow, that was reaching, I'm turning into a sex-deprived middle aged man. Frightening.

Posted by: Kris at October 30, 2008 12:28 AM

"Hooray! For the first time in a long time, I'm excited about an election...."

Posted by: Almost Secretary of the Interior Wednesday at October 29, 2008 8:03 PM


Okay for a second there I could've sworn I'd read "erection"


/needs coffee

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 30, 2008 4:04 AM

Sadly, BSlim, I'm afraid both words would be appropriate.

Posted by: Almost Secretary of the Interior Wednesday at October 30, 2008 9:33 AM

Ricky Gervais in GTA4 is so weird. They made fake standup comedy shows with a fake audience with programmed laughter and bad timing.

Posted by: Lucas at October 30, 2008 10:38 AM





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