Awww, Corey Feldman’s wife Suzie has filed for divorce. You mean to tell me a union between a former child star and a Playboy model which was sealed during an episode of “The Surreal Life” didn’t make it? To that I say good day sir. (Celebitchy)
From genital mutilation to zombie-vampires consuming their partners, mid-coitus, here are the six most gruesome movie scenes. (PW)
I have to give Twilight credit — it’s doing more for teenage abstinence than any advocate, religion or organization has done before. I mean, what young lad isn’t going to run screaming for the hills when he sees this staring back at him? (Agent Bedhead)
Here’s a list of seven good actors in bad horror films. Although for some of these gentlemen, “good” left the station a looong while ago. (Cinematical)
Paranormal Activity isn’t even out of theaters yet and its already got a porn spoof based on it. (Screen Junkies)
Ha ha! Jay Leno sucks so bad he’s now losing out to repeats of “CSI: Miami.” YEAAAAAAH!. (Warming Glow)
Clarrisa the Teenage Lifetime Network Movie Star was sent packing on last night’s “Dancing with the Stars.” (Hairballs)
Today in “Things James Cameron Probably Ripped Off For Avatar” news, here’s another thing that James Cameron probably ripped off for Avatar. (Film Drunk)
I bow down to anyone who scores 100% on this Judy Blume quiz. (mental floss)
Here are ten different TV shows, movies and games that have jacked the “A-Team” intro. (Unreality)
Martin Bashir interviewed a spokesperson for Scientology who thoughtfully and eloquently made a case for his religion. Ha ha, just kidding, he threw a tantrum, stormed off set and demanded that the interview not be aired. (Yeeeah!)
And now, kittens running up a slide to the Pulp Fiction song. Prepare to be transfixed:
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
In a perfect universe, South Beach Sugar Daddy Ken is wearing those Robert Pattison panties.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at October 28, 2009 1:18 PM
"Hallowed-out" corpse? Is this a zombie who partied too much on November 1st?
Also, "Circle of Shit"...wasn't this the theme song for the latest direct-to-DVD Lion King sequel?
Posted by: laredo at October 28, 2009 1:19 PM
SUGAR DADDY? REALLY? I don't even think I knewthat word when I was still young enough to play with barbies. Plus, that Ken doesn't really look like he's Barbie's sugar daddy. More like Earring Ken's.
Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken is going wipe the Lohan-tan right off Karl Lagerfeld's pruneface.
Posted by: RhymesWithSilver at October 28, 2009 1:23 PM
Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken sez "Thunderbirds are GO!"
Posted by: laredo at October 28, 2009 1:24 PM
Ok, I sucked at the Judy Blume quiz, but I ROCKED ASS at the "Kishi Creation or Fashionista Flop?" You get to decide whether the description is that of Claudia Kishi's outfits from Babysitter's Club, or something a celebrity wore. I just relived my childhood for 5 minutes.
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2009 1:26 PM
I'm wondering if my mother is partially responsible for that Jay Leno thing. Cause I know she's watched Leno a couple times, but she f-ing LOVES "CSI:Miami" in all it's ridiculous, divorced from reality, sunglass acting glory. She's even worked in biomedical research so she knows how ridiculous all the lab scenes are, and it does not matter. Her love for that show is only superseded by her love for "Iron Chef".
Posted by: Intern Rusty at October 28, 2009 1:26 PM
I guess "Perineal Activity" sounded too clinical, or would confuse some consumers into thinking the film was some of that new houseplant porn.
Posted by: laredo at October 28, 2009 1:31 PM
OK, that was a wicked hard Judy Blume quiz, but I got all of the questions about the books I had read correct. I had never even heard of some of those books.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 28, 2009 1:36 PM
Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken? Is it wrong that for the briefest moment I thought it was Neil Patrick Harris?
Posted by: BWeaves at October 28, 2009 1:39 PM
Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken, now with toast-piercing action!
Posted by: branded at October 28, 2009 1:42 PM
Bless you for that kitty video. I was indeed transfixed.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 28, 2009 1:45 PM
Only scored a 45% on the Judy Bloom quiz. Damn, I thought I knew what was up.
Posted by: Beckster "Tri-Tip Goddess" at October 28, 2009 1:52 PM
Phew! gp's holiday present: found.
Posted by: Cindy at October 28, 2009 1:52 PM
Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken comes with several exciting accessories including assless chaps, 10-gallon tub of AnalEase and several Jeremy Feist DVDs. Convertible Mini sold separately.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at October 28, 2009 2:03 PM
Re: Sugar Daddy Ken doll. Yes, because what we want to teach girls is that when they grow up, they need something called a "sugar daddy." And then, in an even stranger twist, girls are the furthest thing from Mr. Sugar Daddy's mind.
Who THE FUCK actually gave that thing the green light?
Posted by: MM at October 28, 2009 2:04 PM
Ooooh you kids...it's not the Pulp Fiction song, it's Bustin' Surfboards by The Torndoes! Check out their myspace page if you want some background.Nothing like a lot of reverb and driving rhythm guitar to put you in the mood for ripping off your clothes and grinding up against the nearest warm body. Either that or turning the washing machine onto the spin cycle.
Am I the first to talk about Corey Feldman? They were talking about this on the radio this morning and playing clips of his eardrum assaulting "music" Ugh.
I kinda wish someone would take a chance on him and cast him in something awesome, just to see what he can do. I'd see it out of pure curiosity-can the guy act? I thought so in Stand by Me, a couple of decades ago. But that was before he became a creepy MJ clone. He seems to have effed his life up a bit less than the other Corey, so maybe he wouldn't screw it up too badly.
Now for that music career....
*shudder*
Posted by: Whorish Mouth at October 28, 2009 2:05 PM
Oh those silly Sparkletards. What WILL they buy next?
Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken? Who the fuck names these things? I mean, obviously it's the perfect name, but who decided that it wasn't a joke and should be the 'offical' name? Come on, what kid is going to tell their mom that for Christmas they want Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken? No one. It's just poor marketing.
Unless of course it's a new line of 'adult' Barbie. 'Cause I can see that happening.
Sweet banana fucking Christ, it makes Christina Riccicicci's look non-existent! IT'S HUUUGE! TRIPLE "U" HUGE! Is that what being a vegan gets you? Is it? 'Cause brother, if that's the case, back up a friggin' truckfulla meat, 'cause I'm never eating another goddam vegetable as long as I live. FELDMAN COULD BREAKDANCE ON THAT TABLETOP! JESUS! JESUS H. JESUSMAN!
Those kittens made me shoot a wad of snot outta my nose hole. Hee!
Posted by: Skitz at October 28, 2009 2:12 PM
100% on the Judy Blume quiz! Whoo hoo! Thank God I never went outside as a child...
I think it's cool as hell for a bunch of wealthy actors, who theoretically have no need for a religious affiliation of any kind, to claim in a smartass and dismissive way to be part of a religion based on aliens and shit, and then laugh and get in the limo and go on to the next party. Where it breaks down is the part where they actually went ahead and made a religion out of it and stuff.
I have a deep and abiding love for all things The Brothers Frog, but Feldman? For real dude. Get your shit together. It just ain't cute anymore.
Other things that aren't cute:
Sugar Daddy Ken. Eww.
I love the little purse-dog though. That is all kinds of cute.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 28, 2009 2:28 PM
45%, lame, but if you only count the questions from books I've read I did much better.
I don't even know what to say about SDK...
Posted by: Alarmjaguar at October 28, 2009 2:41 PM
brite, it's Miserlou by Dick Dale & the Del Tones, which is also the "Pulp Fiction song". Although Bustin' Surfboards is also in the movie, it's not the song used in the YouTube clip.
Posted by: henchman for hire at October 28, 2009 2:41 PM
Julie, I was the opposite: I rocked the fuck out of the Judy Blume quize -- despite never having read most of the "what's happening to me/my body" books, but had a really hard time with the Kishi quiz. I'm so ashamed, because the descriptions of Claudia's outfits were always the best part. Oh, also the fact that Jessie had "really long dancer's legs", and "just happened" to be black.
Posted by: vikky at October 28, 2009 2:41 PM
You know, when you watch those Scientology expose videos, you realize that it all basically boils down to:
"He hit me!"
"Nuh uh! He hit me first!"
"Well you've got a stinky face!"
"Nuh uh! You do!"
I think they should be put in timeout and then maybe have juiceboxes and a nap. And maybe slip some whiskey in there so they'll really conk out. And then it will be quiet and we can all finally take a fucking smoke break! Yay!
The end.
Posted by: Cat at October 28, 2009 2:43 PM
Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken is oddly specific. Is this a line akin to the "Real Housewives" show? Will there be a Long Island Sugar Daddy Ken, an Orange County Sugar Daddy Ken, an NFL Sugar Daddy Ken and a Truck Stop Sugar Daddy Ken? I mean if you're goingto be offensive and sexist, at least be complete.
Posted by: mrcreosote at October 28, 2009 2:53 PM
WTF! These ads on Pajiba are getting more and more invasive. I'm working hear! As soon as page downloads, I've got to scramble to find where this offensive noise is coming from. One after the next, these vid ads are hurled at me. And you guys pose as a group with some type of anti-establishment, (anti-hollywood machine) slant. What a heaping pile!!! You freakin' hypocrites.
That cat video was the kittens!
And now that I sound supergay, I admit I got 8 out of 11 on the Judy Blume quiz. I read the Superfudge books and Blubber over twenty years ago. And Are You There God, It's Me Margaret. That book fucked me up.
8 out of 11.
*looks disinterestedly at shirtless RDJ photo*
Phew! Still straight. Not that being gay is terrible. It's great! Wait. No. Yes. I mean, there's nothing wrong---no not wrong, right. Right? Where did I put that . . .
*door slams*
Posted by: Kballs at October 28, 2009 3:04 PM
By the way, the new Creed album is just as bad as you'd expect.
Not to give aid and comfort to Scientology, because it is indeed ridiculous, but I look forward to the next in ABC's series exposing the ridiculousness of Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, etc.
Scientology is only a little bit more ridiculous than any of those, they've just been around a lot longer. Also, that shit about the head Scientology guy has been going around a long time, ABC isn't exactly scooping anyone here.
The one true religion is Zoroastrianism. It's totally legit.
Posted by: Slash at October 28, 2009 3:34 PM
What Figgy said. Please fuck off, Dustin makes money = the site keeps existing = yay. And they're not anti-Hollywood. They're BITCHY.
Vikky-DID THE BOOKS SAY THAT ABOUT JESSIE?? Just happened to be black? I can't help it, that made me laugh hysterically. That is fucked up.
Posted by: Julie at October 28, 2009 3:36 PM
Yazidism has it's fine points too.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 28, 2009 3:39 PM
I only got one wrong on the Judy Blume quiz, and it was a book dedication question (I never really read the dedication pages.) Judy Blume 4 life!
Posted by: scorzi at October 28, 2009 3:43 PM
LWaE, does that have anything to do with Yaz and those weird-ass commercials of a bunch of gals, just kickin' it and using clinical terms to talk about side effects from birth control, like ya do? Because the dubbing is off and I'm pretty sure the blond chick is telling me to stalk and murder Meshack Taylor so I can buy that as a religion.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at October 28, 2009 3:50 PM
Julie, you should try to find one, it's hilarious. I think Ann M. and her whordes would alternate descriptions in each book: in one it would be "Long dancer's legs" and in the next it would be "just happened to be black."
I always loved it when Mallory described her like that, like, I could see Kristi being vaguely racist, but aren't you supposed to be her best friend?
Also, they usually described Mallory as being "somewhat plain-looking." Such great friends.
Posted by: vikky at October 28, 2009 4:03 PM
If y'all are seeing the dancing lady 'get a flat stomach' graphic, play that vid and watch her dance at the same time as staring at the kitties.
HOURS OF FUN
Posted by: Nadine at October 28, 2009 4:05 PM
Damn. Dick Dale is the shit! And those kitties made lunch so much more entertaining!
Okay, that's just a steaming load of crap. Even with all the crazy stuff in religion, not only was there point and fact to it, at least they were on shrooms when they did it. Plus, whilst Christianity has the art of Michelangelo, Islam the mosques of Turkey, Hinduism the Khama Sutra and a wide variety of gods, Judaism has bagels, the 10 Commandments, and Jon Stewart, Scientology has John Travolta family comedies, and Issac Hayes quitting South Park.
Don't even try to pretend they're in the same species of faith, let alone just slightly more crazy than each other.
PALM BEACH SUGAR DADDY KEN???!!???!!??!! I'm...at a loss...for words....