free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 10/23/07 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Pajiba Love

I’m going to start Love off on a serious note today. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to be evacuated from my home not knowing if it’ll be there when I return. Thoughts and prayers go out to everyone dealing with the wildfire crisis — including one of our beloved readers. (Girl with the Curious Hair)

Okay, well maybe not everyone — these two assholes can burn as far as I’m concerned. (Dlisted)

It’s gonna be a good month for comic book nerds! (Pop Candy)

This Jacksonville football fan is so classy and sophisticated, it makes me wonder what he’s even doing at a football game. Shouldn’t he be sitting in a book lined study somewhere, sipping brandy and sporting a monocle? (KSK)

Thank goodness for television editors, who can polish up a slur peppered interview like nobody’s business. (Yeeeah!)

Yeah! What the crazy guy said! Down with Perez Hilton! Burn that motherfucker to the ground and salt the remains! (QuizLaw)

Anyone else get a mental image of Ben Affleck elbow deep in baby shit? I’m sure Dustin can emphasize. (The Evil Beet)

I agree with Manda: kissing is fun. It was practically an extracurricular activity of mine in college. And if that makes me a sinner — well, you can shove that bible right up your ass. (Whoa, Camel!)

We’ve got a Marie Osmond down everybody! Repeat, Marie Osmond is down! (The Blemish)

Today’s clip was a little gift given to me by Vermillion — who indubitably loves faux lesbian makeout action.

Pajiba Love | October 23, 2007 | Comments (13)


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Comments

Don't snark on Marie. She is a true professional and a really nice person. I was in her show in Vegas (30 yrs and 50 pounds ago, YIKES!). She was one of the VERY FEW stars that enjoyed hanging out with the chorus girls and boys. (Maybe we gave her a brief respite from the omnipresent Mormonism of her family.) She's had a difficult time the past few years but appears to remain the same sweet and caring person that alwys looked out for her "team". Marie is a trooper and the "Aw, Crap" comment re-establishes her humanity for me.

Posted by: rudy at October 23, 2007 4:28 PM

Yeah, having grown up in what was at the time an extremely Catholic country, I remember well all the women of my mother's generation (and a few from mine) who waited until marriage. There was no joy there. I think most of them just experienced pain and embarrassment and would do anything to avoid sex as a result (even those who had cottoned on to ways to avoid baby-making with every insertion). There's a reason why Irish foreplay is defined as "Brace yourself Bridget".

Posted by: PaddyDog at October 23, 2007 4:28 PM

Well, that guy is certainly a fan of something. I don't think it's football, though.

Posted by: Brie at October 23, 2007 4:44 PM

These Jacksonville Jaguars love their special Y-formation. (bing!)

Yes, they really know how to finesse an opening. (ba-bing!)

They like to warm things up by teasing the defense before plunging through the hole. (ba-bump-bump!) (That video should be titled, "For 25 seconds, pro football becomes 1% less homoerotic.")

Peyton Manning in the huddle: "Hey, lookit that guy in the stands. What the heck's he doing, ya'll? Why is he licking that plastic tubing? Is that a big popsicle?" [rest of team shuffles feet, looks at ground; center makes disgusted face and rubs own rear suspiciously]

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at October 23, 2007 5:14 PM

Maybe I'm out of touch, but who the hell are Heidi and Spencer?

Posted by: meshell at October 23, 2007 6:31 PM

I've got no problem with Marie Osmond. In fact, she looks fantastic. That said, her hitting the deck is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. The dead silence afterwards is even funnier.

Posted by: Samantha T at October 23, 2007 6:42 PM

i think marie looks amazing.
but "the blemish" has officially pissed me off. manatees are beautiful, graceful, creatures of the sea. comparing the pop tart to one is fightin' words!

paddydog, i gotta admit i'd never heard of "irish foreplay". i'd always heard the brit version of "close your eyes and think of england"!

Posted by: bionic bunny at October 23, 2007 6:54 PM

I was raised in a strict, Baptist upbringing where an unwed, pregnant woman had to stand in front of the congregation and "apologize" to the church. Unsurprisingly, the man-child who got her pregnant was not required to be in attendance or face the music.

That was many years ago, and thankfully, I've gotten a clue since then. I remember the unnecessary, all-consuming guilt associated with being sexually attracted to someone but supposedly saving myself for marriage. So help me, if I have children, they're gonna know, understand, and have a healthy view of sex.

Lastly, I never understood why it was only the women expected to remain virgins until marriage. Who the hell are all of the Christian men sleeping with then? The heathen whores, of course!

Posted by: Daphne at October 23, 2007 7:07 PM

Daphne, I'm already working to get my siblings to that point. I love my parents, but I think they're frankly too embarassed and scared to give a real comprehensive talk on the subject. That's how I got the job of buying my brother condoms, lube, and a morning after pill before he went to college. Also, directing him to Scarleteen.com, cause we're close but not THAT close.

That Soup clip is great, I think that's the first "reality show" I've seen that I might actually consent to take part in. Good thing it'll never get made.

Posted by: Rusty at October 23, 2007 7:18 PM

Oh, meshell, I am as out of touch as you are. I was planning to ask that exact same question.

Posted by: cmoody at October 24, 2007 10:28 AM

The heathen whores, of course!

Well yes, of course! The way I see it, immoral gals like myself are merely performing a valuable public service.

As far as "no sex before marriage" goes, it made sense back in the day - it was needed to maintain the family structure (my opinions on the validity of said concept of "family" don't come in to it at this point so I'm going to hold off on the ranting) with the lack of birth control and all. But now that we have these fabulous little things called condoms, as well as nifty hormonal methods of contraception so that for the majority childbirth is a choice I can see no logical reason why the whole "virgin until the wedding night" ideal should remain. Unless the church is doing something crazy like controlling the congregation through fear and ignorance, but that would never happen, right?

But as already observed ATO = Immorral, heathen whore so my opinion probably shouldn't count for much ;)

Posted by: Alex the Odd at October 24, 2007 10:45 AM

I think that should be 'empathise', not 'emphasise'. Just checking. Props to Garner!

Posted by: Thompson Twin at October 24, 2007 11:35 AM

thanks for the nice thoughts for us in Hell... that's what Southern Cal has turned into, apparently. I haven't had to evacuate yet but my bags are packed and I am VERY nervous.

Posted by: nancy at October 24, 2007 2:34 PM