free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 10/21/09 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Don't Even Get Him Started on That Cousin Larry A-Hole

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | October 21, 2009 | Comments (37)

The big news on the internet this morning is an interview with Bronson Pinchot (more commonly referred to as “Balki”) who apparently decided he never wanted to work again by throwing Tom Cruise and Denzel under a bus. I have to say though, his candor is refreshing. (A.V. Club) Update: Sorry guys, I done fucked up again. Apparently Dustin covered this yesterday and I somehow missed it and was too excited to go back and double check. Apologies!

Awww, and speaking of washed-up ’80s sitcom stars, Bob Saget is kind of a douche but I find this story about him strangely endearing. (Celebslam)

Full disclosure: My roommate loathed Where the Wild Things Are and thought it was a movie about “emo monsters.” So here is a list of filmmakers who he thinks could have done a better job with it. What do you guys think? (PW)

Here’s the latest goings-on with “Dancing with the Stars.” I think half the cast has swine flu now or something. (Hairballs)

I don’t know dick about Twilight, but is it wrong that I watched this clip and kind of inwardly squee’d: “PUPPIES!” (Film Drunk)

Remember that gay “American Idol” runner-up from last season who everybody was talking about? Well no one was talking about him anymore, so he posed with naked chicks in Details. (Yeeeah!)

Oh, and remember that dumb Alaskan Vice Presidential runner-up from the last Presidental election who everyone was talking about? Well no one’s talking about her anymore so she’s doing an “Oprah.” (Celebitchy)

Oh boy. Someone decided to give Wilmer Valderrama another shot at television. On a sitcom based on “The Dog Whisperer!” Oh my God, how could this possibly ever go wrong? (Warming Glow)

Huh. Now here’s something offensive. What better way to sell beer than imagery of Snow White getting gang-banged by the Seven Dwarves? (Zelda Lily)

Wendy’s is returning to form with a no-frills, less-douchey, no-celebrity-in-bikini-endorsing double bacon cheeseburger. (Impulsive Buy)

Oh man, David Duchovny is like, really serious about this third X-Files movie, isn’t he? (Gordon and the Whale)

Here’s a list of the scariest movie villains under five feet tall (Unreality) and here is a list of five movie villains who have worn out their welcomes. (Cinematical)

Eilza Dushku lives out my lifelong dream of roundhousing Jimmy Fallon in the gut. Just kidding — in my dream I aimed lower. (Popoholic)

Home Shopping Network vs. Wii Remote. Who do you think the big winner will be? Flip to the 5:00 to find out:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

I think Duchovny just wants to californicate with Gillian (and who can blame him), but honestly, if they seriously returned to "olden days", True X-Files form in a third film, I'd be up for it.

Posted by: Rykker at October 21, 2009 1:12 PM

Goddamnit, can we please stop saying squee now?

Posted by: Seany D at October 21, 2009 1:19 PM

i wish he'd hit that laughing hyena with that wii remote.

also, 3 of those 7 dwarves are totally do-able.
oh who am i trying to kid? 5 of the 7.

Posted by: gp at October 21, 2009 1:24 PM

SQUEE!

Fuck it. My mission today is to make everyone suffer.

SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE!SQUEE! SQUEE!SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEE! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Posted by: TK at October 21, 2009 1:27 PM

You know most of the politicians on Capitol Hill can't wait for the Moronic MILF to show up. Personally I'd be more concerned about someone putting a large caliber weapon in her mouth and pulling the trigger. That'll be a lode she could handle.

Posted by: bignick at October 21, 2009 1:28 PM

I liked X-Files: I Want to Believe, I just wish it had been bigger. As for a part 3 that addresses the mythology? Yes, please. As long as it closes the door at the same time. The series ended with the date the invasion was to begin, and it was in 2012 so a 3rd and final movie in 2012 or 2011 makes perfect sense.

Posted by: TylerDFC at October 21, 2009 1:29 PM

I miss Balki. TV needs more happy dance.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 21, 2009 1:30 PM

i don't think MILF stands for the words you think it stands for.

because, gross.

Posted by: gp at October 21, 2009 1:31 PM

Goddamnit, can we please stop saying squee now?

No. Never. It has entered the lexicon. It is a very useful word.

Consider: Nathan Fillion is going to appear on next week's Halloween episode of Castle dressed up as Cap'n Mal. Now, how the fuck do you react to that news other than *SQUEEE!*

Go watch the trailer for Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. I defy you not to squee.

Posted by: Jerce at October 21, 2009 1:33 PM

i don't think MILF stands for the words you think it stands for.

Mom I'd Like to Flay? Fillet?

Frag? Fatalize?

Forget?

Posted by: Jerce at October 21, 2009 1:36 PM

Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins?

Posted by: Odnon at October 21, 2009 1:38 PM

MILF:

Majorly
Irritating
Loudmouth
Fuck-wit

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 21, 2009 1:40 PM

I'm with those who think a nice "X-Files 3" with some closure would be a good thing for 2012.
Okay, a good thing if they just pretend that the last two and a half seasons of the series NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED.
Oh, and mark my words, Saget - once you hit a certain age you fall completely off the radar, so if you showed up as even a tiny blip on a 23 year old's radar and didn't go in for the score, then fuck you, sir. You shame us all.

Posted by: Spender at October 21, 2009 1:41 PM

"...Bog Saget is kind of a douche..."

That's a tad unfair. Don't judge him based solely on "Full House" and "America's Funniest Utter Crap." That was him slumming it for a paycheck.

Saget has always had a fairly subversive stand up routine. It's subtle but usually completely filthy once it clicks what he's talking about. Sort of like Betty White, actually. His bit in "The Aristocrats" is a good example, iirc. Based on his stand up, I never understood how he got the gig with ABC, actually. I can only assume the network execs are, in fact, so stupid that they bought the character he was ostensibly playing and never got the joke. But the crowd was laughing, so this guy must be funny!

And before anyone says he should have stuck to subversive stand up instead of network dreck.... there is no one on this website who wouldn't bark like a dog on a network exec's say-so if they waved a sitcom star paycheck in front of you.

Posted by: ZombieScientist at October 21, 2009 1:43 PM

there is no one on this website who wouldn't bark like a dog on a network exec's say-so if they waved a sitcom star paycheck in front of you.

Hah! You never said what kind of dog ! They might expect a Maltese, and I come in there like a St. Bernard! Minds blown! Paradigms shifted! Subversive all up in this mothafucka!

Posted by: Vermillion at October 21, 2009 1:52 PM

Dear Jamieson Brewery,

We represent the Disney Corporation. As you are no doubt aware, Snow White is a Disney owned character. We demand that you immediately cease and desist all publications of your "Ho White" advertisement.

Although Mr. Disney, when creating her at the tender age of 15, may have entertained and perhaps drawn deviant sexual images regarding her relationship with the seven dwarfs, if they exist, these would be owned by and contained in the vaults of the Disney corporation to be viewed only by Disney executives and not to be used for the purpose of selling alcoholic beverages. Snow White does not drink. While she unintentionally took drugs in the form of an apple, in no way was this the precursor for sex with a group of dwarfs.

While you may have innocently misinterpreted the songs "Heigh Ho," and "Whistle While You Work," included in the original Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs we state that they do not refer to Snow White pulling any type of dwarf train. Nor may you imply that she ever had a sexual relationship with Cinderella, Pocahontas, Mulan or any other female Disney owned character.


Posted by: Low, Ball & Lynch at October 21, 2009 1:56 PM

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The Twilight link has a picture of a bearsharktopus. SQUEEEEEEE~!

Posted by: BWeaves at October 21, 2009 1:58 PM

That Bronson Pinchot interview fucking rocks. Man, I wish all actors could be that candid. I understand why they can't be (or don't feel that they can), but it's made me look at Denzel Washington differently, that's for sure.

Posted by: Slash at October 21, 2009 2:01 PM

John Lassader would have done a much better job. For Christ's sake, he gave Larry the Motherfucking Cable Guy a good role, and had him do it perfectly. Now that's talent.

Posted by: George at October 21, 2009 2:55 PM

Posted by: Jay at October 21, 2009 3:28 PM

Man, I wish all actors could be that candid. I understand why they can't be (or don't feel that they can),

Um, man. I rally, really, REEEAAALLYYY hate to be this guy, but isn't that the shit folks here are constantly knocking two certain actresses for? I mean, they have said ridiculous stuff since then, but when they did talk about their cast/crew they are practically hounded to the gates of Hell.

Is this more of a "time heals all wounds" sort of thing. Because while I like Bronson Pinchot as much as the next person, I really don't see the difference.

Posted by: Vermillion at October 21, 2009 3:40 PM

Well take me home country roads, who the fuck knew that cousin Balkie was sucha rabble rouser? That interview was top shelf. He basically said "Cruise is a douche, Denzel is a prick, I don't give a fuck, suck my dick!" Hey, that's some poetry right there.

And Bob Saget's stand up is pretty raw. Not great, but certainly NC-17. Anyone who talk about laying down a little back door fiddly squish on the Olsen twins has got to be somewhat decent right?

Posted by: John Denver's Wingman at October 21, 2009 3:59 PM

OK, gp, you're going to make me ask, aren't you. Which two dwarves aren't doable?

I'm guessing Dopey and Doc.

Posted by: Drake at October 21, 2009 4:01 PM

I Want to Believe crushed my soul in so many ways... I would like those wounds to be healed with a third movie that centers on the mythology. I was very disappointed when they announced that the second movie was going to be a stand-alone, and it was every bit as bad as I imagined. But with how badly IWTB did at the box office, do you think they'll have trouble getting 20th Century Fox to back it? I suppose it already has a built-in audience, and studios love shit like that... but it concerns me.

I also pray to Jesus that Chris Carter steps back from the directing chair for the next one. Dude can write like a mother fucker, but please get a more talented director.

Last thing: I can't believe Duchovny is so into doing another movie. Feels like yesterday he bailed on the show and then swore off any movies for the future.

Posted by: Cruise at October 21, 2009 4:18 PM

Speaking only for myself, Vermillion, the difference is that the two “actresses” in question have a really ugly underlying agenda of self-absorption…while Pinchot just seems to have hit the “out with blue, in with pink” phase of his life. I'm just glad to have someone confirm that Denzel's a jerk and Tom Hanks isn't.

Posted by: ALR at October 21, 2009 4:27 PM

RE Vermillion "Um, man. I rally, really, REEEAAALLYYY hate to be this guy, but isn't that the shit folks here are constantly knocking two certain actresses for? I mean, they have said ridiculous stuff since then, but when they did talk about their cast/crew they are practically hounded to the gates of Hell."

Not me. I don't care what whatsherface (blonde chick from "Knocked Up") and whoever the other one is say. I do think there's a difference, though, between what he said and what blonde chick has said.

Blonde chick was basically complaining about what most people would consider to be extremely enviable working conditions (esp. given how much money she makes and how shitty the economy is right now). Pinchot was kinda confirming what everybody kinda already knew (that Tom Cruise is at the very least homophobic) and sharing some insight as to the behavior of some of his past costars (ie, some that were pleasant to work with and some that weren't). And at least a decade after the fact. It's not like he just got back from doing a movie with Denzel and Bette Midler, so he's not actively trying to torpedo a movie or TV show. He probably figures he'll never work with either of them again, so fuck it, why not be honest about what assholes they were to work with? It's not like it's gonna cost Denzel anything and nobody was under the impression that Bette Midler was a ray of sunshine, anyway.

Posted by: Slash at October 21, 2009 5:14 PM

I'd missed the BP interview prior, so I'm glad you posted the link Stacey. :-)

What occured to me is that he probably already has all the money he needs,
so it doesn't really matter if he doesn't work again in H-Wood. Pretty ballsey
of him to speak his mind. He and I are alike in that regard. That gave me the
warm fuzzies. If I didn't work for a ginormous corporation and need the job
so bad, I'd operate just about the same. Honesty feels good.
Seriously though. He's educated and his investments are prob doing ok.
And his sensor button might have been broken. Ha!

Posted by: Ms MoMo at October 21, 2009 5:22 PM

I'd missed the BP interview prior, so I'm glad you posted the link Stacey. :-)

What occured to me is that he probably already has all the money he needs,
so it doesn't really matter if he doesn't work again in H-Wood. Pretty ballsey
of him to speak his mind. He and I are alike in that regard. That gave me the
warm fuzzies. If I didn't work for a ginormous corporation and need the job
so bad, I'd operate just about the same. Honesty feels good.
Seriously though. He's educated and his investments are prob doing ok.
And his sensor button might have been broken. Ha!

Posted by: Ms MoMo at October 21, 2009 5:23 PM

I'd missed the BP interview prior, so I'm glad you posted the link Stacey. :-)

What occured to me is that he probably already has all the money he needs,
so it doesn't really matter if he doesn't work again in H-Wood. Pretty ballsey
of him to speak his mind. He and I are alike in that regard. That gave me the
warm fuzzies. If I didn't work for a ginormous corporation and need the job
so bad, I'd operate just about the same. Honesty feels good.
Seriously though. He's educated and his investments are prob doing ok.
And his sensor button might have been broken. Ha!

Posted by: Ms MoMo at October 21, 2009 5:25 PM

I kind of love TK today.

And to the gay Idol dude: You're tryin' too hard! Quit it.

Posted by: Eyvi at October 21, 2009 5:34 PM

Posted by: Slash at October 21, 2009 5:14 PM

I get that. But nobody was ever under the impression Michael Bay's films are in any shape or form a stretch of the performer's acting talent. Yet a certain female persona non grata around here was lambasted for saying exactly that.

And as I said, both women have said some stupid stuff that doesn't compare to that interview. But my point is that both got vilified for talking shit about their projects/coworkers, while Pinchot is getting applauded.

Posted by: Vermillion at October 21, 2009 7:25 PM

I'd say the difference between Pinchot and and Rainbow Killer is that I don't get the sense Pinchot is saying he's above any of the work he's done. Heigl pissed me off when, while it was still in the theater, she shat all over "Knocked Up" without acknowledging that she could have said "No" to the project when she read the "misogynistic" script.

Pinchot's telling tales on his former castmates, but doesn't insinuate that he was better than the material - in fact, quite the opposite with "Perfect Strangers." Instead of bitching about the shitty writing when he was doing the show, he figured out a way to make it work for him by punching up the physical comedy.

Heigl's rants scream of entitlement, Pinchot's rants never sound ungrateful, they are just pointing out the absurdities he's witnessed in a 30 year career. (When Heigl's career hits the 30 year mark, maybe her pissing all over her projects will seem delightfully eccentric and not obnoxious).

Posted by: Tammy at October 21, 2009 8:06 PM

I wanted them to ask about when he was the Toyman in Lois and Clark...

Posted by: Daniel Hall at October 21, 2009 9:39 PM

How the fuck is Samara scarier than Sadako? Fuck all remakes. Let the world burn. Throw flaming poop at Hollywood execs. Abandon all hope. Hell is other people's shitty remakes. I'm hungover. Go away.

Posted by: TSF at October 22, 2009 7:49 AM

Tammy - well-put. Also, there's plainly something about Heigl that just pisses people off in a way that other actresses don't piss people off. Not sure what it is because there are other equally beautiful actresses who don't elicit the same venom.

Moreover, Bronson Pinchot is plainly a reflective, intelligent dude. He's formally well-educated and is funny and articulate. Heigl simply doesn't come off the same way. She strikes me as intelligent, but she also strikes me as somebody who attempts to shove her trumped-up intelligence down everybody's throat.

Posted by: samantha t at October 22, 2009 9:50 AM

I hated WTWTA. Emo-monsters, absolutely. I kept thinking I wanted to see it done by Julie Taymore or Terry Gilliam.

Posted by: Codger at October 22, 2009 3:45 PM

Who cares!!! My boyfriend also agrees with me. He is 10 years older than me, lol. We met online at age-gap club -- http://AgelessOnly.COM/. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

Posted by: Helen at October 23, 2009 1:44 AM





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