Pajiba

the hills are totally dunzo? That's so not roofus

Finally. I could recreate "The Hills" with my four dogs and three cats, as about 90% of that show is people staring blankly.

But it would be insulting to my pets, as all of them have too much self worth to ever date Spencer.

What's "The Hills" and why does anybody talk about it? By the way does anyone want to have a best freinds party for the debate?

"gassed one million Obamas with his mouth chamber."

HA!

There's nothing wrong with the hills! What the hell's the matter with you people?

Lauren, Lo and Audrina are this generation's role models! I mean, the fact that Audrina is concerned that Lo is putting a strain on her relationship with Lauren? And the two tearfully make amends? And you didn't tear up with them? ARE YOU A ROBOT?!

And when Heidi's sister, Holly, moves in with her and Spence? Can someone say "AWKWARD"? I mean, Jesus, the only other friend Holly only has in LA is Lauren - you think she's gonna get those two divas back together? FAT CHANCE! Who hasn't been there? WHO? JESUS, DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE A SOUL?

And don't even get me started on the struggles Lauren has to go through now that she's decided to start dating again. Thank Christ Brody's out of the picture - he was nothing but trouble for her and her career aspirations. And... is that... is that smoke I'm smelling? Why, yes it is. Smells like someone's rekindling a relationship with super-hunk Doug. YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP YOU ASSES! THIS IS LIFE - AS REAL AND AS GRITTY AS YOU CAN TAKE, YOU GODDAMED HIPSTERS!

"Oh it's not reality and scenes are set up specifically for filming and my life isn't as glamorous and so I have to tear it apart". Well, you know what? How about this - GROW UP! LEAVE THE HILLS ALONE! LEAVE THEM ALONE AND GO BACK TO YOUR BUFFY VIDEOS!

It's just sad that you people can't handle real life. The real life of THE HILLS - The. Greatest. Show. On. Television. Period.

But what will eat my soul when the hills goes off the air?

And really, Skitz, buffy videos? How ghetto do you think we are? We have that shit on dvd.

firedmyass........ I'm speechless.

Holy shit, Skittiums. I think you need to drink more.

Lauren, Audrina, Spencer & Heidi would be dead in my presence. I would shoot them with my derringer heels that I bought ironically to mock Madonna. Then I would cut them up and cart them away in my 'this is not a plastic bag' tote and oversized Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen-inspired Marc Jacobs hobo knockoff.

I would invite my other hipster friends to a faux-funeral where we would read Bukowski out loud like psalms and sing 'Body Language' to a cassette that we'd play in our friend Matilda's vintage ghettoblaster; which will end up being really embarrassing for her because there'll be a shins cassette in it; she'll try to claim she was listening to it ironically, but everyone knows hipsters hate the Shins, so we'll shun her and she'll leave Williamsburg and go home to Indiana and change her name back to Amanda.

"I'll admit, I keep it around for hipster appeal."

I thought I knew you, Optimus... I THOUGH I KNEEEEW YOOOOU! NOOOO!!

Sigh... If anyone wants me, I'll be at the Peach Pit - writing my The Hills fan fiction...

We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of The Hills. Truly, this is a dark day for all of us. Whether it be Heidi's complete lack of a frontal lobe, Spencer's flesh-coloured pedo-beard, or Lauren's...ummmmmmm...fuck, who's Lauren again? Oh right, her. Well who gives a fuck about her?

Now, as we say our final goodbyes to the televised trainwreck that was The Hills, let us remember what we gained from it. We learned that we are so much better than everyone around us. We learned that teenagers (with the exception of those at Pajiba) are utter idiots and that they have no taste. And we learned that the world is, indeed, going to shit in a big fucking way. As we console the grieving widow, Skitz, let us lower the casket into the earth, and remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.

Now would someone please pour some gasoline on the grave and light this motherfucker up so as to eliminate the threat of zombies?

Thank you Sarina.

I know that the PTB don't have any control over the ads on the site, but it makes me a little ill to come here and see a "Yes On 8" (CA initiative to repeal same-sex marriage via constitution amendment) ad flashing at me.

Oh, you may have buried the show, you may have made a mockery of the fabulous lives of LA socialites, you may have even won the battle of these here interwebs, but as God as my witness, you kill one of these shows, another will pop up. I GUARANTEE IT! You can't kill shallow vapidness, Mr. Feist - quite the contrary - it must be embraced, it must be nourished, it must be held high atop the mound of it's predecessors (i.e. The Real World, Road Rules, My Super Sweet Sixteen, Pimp My Ride, etc...). Why? Simple: by keeping a show like The Hills on air, MTV networks can fill hours once rumored to contain actual music videos (gasp!), with the stupid, yet socially "meh" reality program, ensuring that the "brains" behind shows like Next and Date My Mom are kept hard at work figuring out how to maintain an on air "reality" for these over-exposed twats.

How could you all have been so blind? I don't like The Hills. I loathe it. But I'd rather it be on air for another twenty years than have newer, retardeder shows squeezed out of EmptyVee's corporate poop-chute. Look at what you're celebrating... Look at what you've done...

[...dim lights, turn on strobes and release small barrage of naked little people dancing ballroom-style while wearing punch-out masks of characters from The Hill...]

Goddam right. I've fired up the MurderTank, Brother Feist - I'll need you to make some sandwiches and pick up a sixer of Capri Sun. I'm stuck trying to figure out how to work this new GPS doohickey - the previous one had a LOCATE THINGS YOU HATE option on it, but Minimus gooped that up by spilling Guinness on/in it.

I bought him a customized beer cooler whatchamafrick he could easily hold with his turkey claw, but does he use it? Nooo - it makes him "look like a dork"... Well, I hope you weren't too attached to the original MurderGPS, Wendel - 'cause it's dead as day-old poo...

Mr. Feist, may I respectfully request that we declare war upon all those persons who emmulate, or attempt to place any social relevance, other than ingorant douchebagerry on these societal abortions that are called entertainment. There is a reason these shows are made. I say we go after the cause.

"Retardeder" is my new favorite word.

Is that what we've come to Marra... (sigh). Never thought we'd be headed down this dark road to Jihadsville, but I think in one way or another, this is where we'd make our final stand - at a Farewell to The Hills douchestravaganza. I hope we all make it through the throngs of idiocy and greet each other on the other side... (sniff) I hope to make you proud...

f i ever want to commit work-suicide i hope I can go out in a blaze of work email fallout glory.

I can't stop de-lurking...you people intrigue me.

Skitz: Sammiches and Capri Sun? Bah! I say, Bah! Murdertanking of this scale calls for leftover chinese food and Boxed Wine. Wooo! Slacker food!

admin11: That'll be after. My yellow jump suit just came back from the cleaners, and I just got my Hatori Honzo sword sharpened. I'm about to go on what the critics will call a roaring rampage of revenge.

Skitz, if we survive the Farewell to The Hills douchestravaganza, can we have a heartwarming reunion akin to the end of Homeward Bound, where I don't think you've made it, but then you limp over the horizon and the music swells? Slobbering is, as always, optional.

Ugrh, Double Post. Epic Fail!