The first images of the Sarah Palin porno are here, if you’ve been wondering what Porno Palin looks like. Spoiler alert! She wears glasses. (QuizLaw)
And in more Palin News, Tina Fey says she won’t continue to do Sarah Palin after the election if she wins. But what about if she loses? You know, just to rub it in and shit. (Celebitchy)
Angelina Jolie is making me seriously concerned over her parenting skills. (WIMB)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt takes a stab at celebrity political endorsements… And, you may disagree with me, but I kind of wish he didn’t. (FilmExperience)
Good news! Tara Reid totally plans to go back to acting after the writer’s strike is over. Shhhh… (The Blemish)
I don’t know about you guys, but I for one, have been intrigued and even slightly aroused by the sight of Harry Connick Jr.’s delightfully sex-ay face in the banner ad to the left. Care to learn more? (MyLifetime)
Barack Osama a legitimate typo? MY. ASS. The “S” and the “B” keys aren’t even remotely near each other on the keyboard. (Towerload)
Behind “The Brady Bunch” was a den of sex, drugs and debauchery. Like we needed a tell-all memo to tell us that. (Agent Bedhead)
I haven’t linked one of these in awhile, but here are John Williams’ Top 100 Albums, numbers 30-26. It’s getting down to the nitty gritty! Side note: what the hell does nitty gritty mean? (ASWOBA)
Join now to defend your city from the zombie invasion this Halloween! Thanks, Rollerson! (UndeadInvasion)
And while I’m on the subject of Halloween, here are hands down the worst things you could get trick or treating. Fun is not a size, people! (SeriousEats)
Here’s a pretty cool anecdote about Uncle Tupelo, for all you fans out there. (TMITM)
Here’s some gratuitous Winston-ey goodness to get you through Tuesday. (FourFour)
And now, a digital conversion public service announcement:
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 14, 2008 12:08 PM
Joseph Gordon Levitt comes off as an idiot. Plus, love Obama all you want but Al Gore still would've been a better President. I'm a total smart guy whore and my slut-vision is never more focused than when Al Gore is speaking.
Posted by: becks at October 14, 2008 12:16 PM
becks, I saw Gore speak live about a year ago (doing the Inconvenient Truth presentation) and it made me incredibly despondent when I thought "huh, I wonder where we'd be if he had been granted the presidency in 2000".
Frankly, I kinda wish Joseph Gordon-Levitt took a stab at me. If you know what I'm saying, and I think you do.
Genny, I'd give JGL a whirl if he'd read passages from Gore's 'The Assault On Reason' throughout. Whew, did it just get hot in here?
Posted by: becks at October 14, 2008 12:28 PM
Thank you Marra. I feel like my Tara Reid situation is twice as painful because I already know that plastic surgery can only make me look worse (evidenced by Reid herself) and when I attempted to alter my looks by dying my hair brown people started telling me I looked like (I kid you not) Miley Cyrus.
Posted by: becks at October 14, 2008 12:34 PM
I'd take Miley Cyrus over Tara Reid any day. Except that sort of makes you jailbait. But whatev, at least no one is comparing you to Tara Reid.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 14, 2008 12:52 PM
Obviously there's no accounting for personal taste, Marra, but have you seen Brick? Cause I thought JGL was super hot in that movie. But again, maybe that's just me.
As for the boobies... the one on the right is higher. Like it's reaching out to devour the little flag pin. That makes me giggle.
I was prepared to get all snarky about that Lifetime movie until I started reading the comments at the end of the web site. People were telling their breast cancer histories and thanking the doctor for saving their lives. That, and my mother's death from breast cancer, just keeps the snark and bitchiness away. I'm sure the movie will suck big time, though. It IS a Lifetime movie, after all.
OK, now that I've brought everybody down, on to Halloween candy. I like candy corn, but he's right on the hard candy and sucker hate. I mean, I can get them anytime of year. But the worst Halloween candy we got was when a neighbor lady gave out homemade popcorn balls. This was before the poisoned candy scares. They looked good, and homemade often tasted better than store-bought, but those balls were so hard they would break teeth.
Posted by: rlr260 at October 14, 2008 1:04 PM
Palin Porn? Pass.
Oooooo, unintended alliteration. I love it!
And thank God you've decalred a moratorium on Palin. Sweet zombie Jesus, that woman is everywhere. She's even infiltrated porn now. PORN! The last known medium in which Sarah HASN'T been mentioned, and there she is. I don't care how much she looks like Tina Fey, you do NOT mack the knife to Palin.
Although Skitz is right, those are some very prominent boobies.
There, that about covers every boob synonym I know. Any I missed?
Posted by: Jeremy Feist at October 14, 2008 1:04 PM
TIIIIIIIIIIITS!!!!
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 14, 2008 1:12 PM
I am with you Stacy. I kinda prefer that certain celebrities would shut up and look pretty and let me imagine in my head that they are brilliant and witty. That said, the video could've been much worse. And can I just say that the 2000 election was Traumatic for me. It was also my freshman year of college, at Purdue University, which god-love-it is conservative as all hell. I remember sitting in front of the TV all tense with my roommate, watching the results come in and when they announced Bush had won we just looked at each other in horror, and then....and then we heard our dormmates running through the halls, screaming and whooping with joy.
Posted by: s. pisaster at October 14, 2008 1:15 PM
oh and speaking of zombie hordes...if any of you are in Santa Monica on the 26th (aka world zombie day) please do not shoot me in the brains. Also, I am really surprised that Ann Arbor is not on their list of zombie affected cities. Ann Arbor has had no less than 3 zombie invasions in the past two years. Ann Arbor is the kind of place where you can show up in a dive bar on a Friday afternoon in full zombie regalia, all bloody and necrotic, and get hit on (true story) or have people offer to show you the zombie hunting photos they just happen to have on them (also true). I miss it.
Posted by: s. pisaster at October 14, 2008 1:22 PM
I second the crazy-awesomeness that is Ann Arbor. Makes me want to take a road trip just to soak it in. Mt. Pleasant is more of a .. whats the word... cultural wasteland? That'll do.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 14, 2008 1:40 PM
Those are some large breasts. My eyeballs nearly popped out of my head.
Oh, Tara Reid. So precious.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 14, 2008 1:46 PM
Until that computer switched from a desktop to a laptop, I wasn't sure if the PSA was satire. Oh, the number of shitty PSAs about the digital conversion I have seen.
Posted by: Gayle at October 14, 2008 2:00 PM
Everyone is so entranced by those sweater puppies (how could you forget that one, Jeremy?) that no one has looked at the post about The Brady Bunch. Greg is the oldest boy character's name. The actor's name is Barry Williams. Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby, Cindy. Mike is the dad. Someone ass-raping my childhood is bad enough, but now no one remembers what happened in the first place.
Posted by: Three-nineteen at October 14, 2008 2:02 PM
Message:
I want to squeeze them.
P.S.
Ahbururrrurrrrugugrgrr.
Yeah, that's my motorboat sound effect.
...TM.
Posted by: Jim at October 14, 2008 2:12 PM
My dad sent me that PSA yesterday and I was laughing so hard I was crying. I kid you not - the old lady looks almost exactly like my great-aunt Esther (may she rest in peace). Too funny. . .
Posted by: prairiegirl at October 14, 2008 2:18 PM
I'm looking forward to the Palin porn because it will mark the first time in history that a porn script makes more sense than the real life story.
Tig Old Biddies.
Posted by: Admin11 at October 14, 2008 2:22 PM
S. Pisaster...I will be in Santa Monica on that day...Tell me what you are wearing and I'll make sure that you get a pass.
In honor of Tara Reid, I may stop writing on here until the writers strike is over. Solidarity baby!!!
To keep with the thread....from Joe Bob Briggs Canonical Hooter List, a few of my favorite names for boobies:
Abbott and Costello, The Dutch Alps, El Kabongs,
Hug Bumps, Moveable Feast, Pastor Baiters, Pride and Joy, Quantum Heaps and BARTS (Big Ass Round Titties)
Glad to raise the level of debate on this site.
Posted by: Rubble44 at October 14, 2008 2:23 PM
I can not believe I'm the first one to throw this out, because this is actually the descriptor of choice in our household.
Rubble44 - I will be wearing a grey tank, black jeans, and lots of blood. My hair will probably be blood red, but not sure yet. I believe the zombie horde descends on the pier at 6:30.
Posted by: s. pisaster at October 14, 2008 2:53 PM
Oh good, I never go to the pier anyway. Take that fucker down.
I don't think I've set foot on the pier since I saw a free Untouchables concert there about a billion years ago. I was in a shrimp mood one time and wanted to try Bubba Gump's but they wanted 7.50 to park so I bolted.
Do your thing....but if you get to the promenade, I'll have a cricket bat and a stack of old 45's with your name on them. Maybe cassette singles too, since I seem to have a bunch of those too, but can you decapitate someone with a cassingle of Al B. Sure singing Nite and Day? We will see...the game is afoot.
Posted by: Rubble44 at October 14, 2008 3:08 PM
Anna!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're back!!! Why did you leave me like that? Optimus and I need a chaperone. dylanj is suggesting I'll rape Mr. Rhyme, and Rhyme says it's not rape if he wants it, and all the Pajibettes are bullying against me on Facebook. (They're really not, but I said that for effect.)
That's right! I forgot I was courting you all 1950 style. We will need a chaperone if we're going to the sock-hop together.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 14, 2008 3:20 PM
[Minor correction: it's Towleroad. The major contrib there is named Andy Towle; his last name is pronounced "toll", hence the pun.]
Posted by: jeem at October 14, 2008 3:21 PM
Anna VB - were you where I thought you were? Were you holed up with Izzard and Chappelle in Driver's hooptyhoohaw? Was it nice in there? What was the furniture like? So many questions...
Posted by: Skitz at October 14, 2008 3:37 PM
all i'm saying is that with hands that size it's at least low level molestation despite anything Mr. Rhyme says to the contrary.
One more hand joke and you can rest assured that wherever I send you when you come to Chile my hands will be there waiting to smack the Optimus-envy out of you.
And YOU can be assured that I will just sneak in and out of Chile without you ever noticing. I don't want any quarrel with those hands of doom. Like I told Rhyme yesterday when he threatened to kill me, your love with him is just too interesting to interfere with.
Granny confusedly wonders if "all of this will make Jack Benny come back", but has a Macbook?
Posted by: ife at October 14, 2008 7:50 PM
Speaking of AvB:
MAJOR-LEAGUE YABBOs
Posted by: bucdaddy at October 14, 2008 11:44 PM
Aww, you guys missed me?
Unfortunately, I can't tell you where I was. Top secret, you know. I'd have to kill you. (Although, Skitz, I'll tell you this- think mod + art deco, neutral palette with splashes of color. Airy- i liked it.) (Um, actually, I was with my family in Florida for my nieces' birthdays. They turned 1 and 2 [Irish twins, tee hee]).
And then, when I got back to work, I got a promotion, which means more work (and learning), so I don't have as much time for my Pajifam. *snif* *tear* But, once I learn up my new responsibilities, I'll have time again for goofing off online at work!
Oh, and Sofia, darling, I've rigged dylan's cornflakes. He'll be going nowhere. Muwah ah ha! And if any more of those meanies bully you, you let me know. I'll take care of them. Except jM, I'm pretty sure she could kick my ass.
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 15, 2008 9:23 AM
Jeremy
A few from the other side of the pond for you:
Bristols
norks
'standard British handful'
Posted by: Tarn at October 15, 2008 9:53 AM
Oh AvB, you're back! Just as I have to go away. Stupid work. I'm glad you're ok. I was worried Bucdaddy had you tied to a bed somewhere...oh wait, maybe worried isn't the right word. Maybe it was more like jealous! You should join our Facebook party Anna. We're having fun and making plans...
Ok, have to go do a Job Fair now. God, I hope it's not like the one from The Office...
Dear Pajiba, please don't be super funny and awesome today since I won't be around to read it. I appreciate your cooperation.
TITS!