Pajiba

Dear God. I just lacerated my neck with splinters of strawberry cough drop laughing so hard from this gem "Trying to pander to the Florida voters...My two loves have always been Jews and Cuban food." Well played, Tina Fey. Well played.

For serious though, Cuban sandwiches are amazing. If/when I move back to Miami, I'm getting myself one of those cholesterol laden pieces of heaven muy rapido.

And it's kind of pointless to pander to live Florida voters. She should be going after the DEAD ones, since they vote at least as often as living people do. I wish I were kidding.

Whoops, forgot the link. Sorry to leave y'all on pins and needles there.

Meaux,

I love your new blog & tried to leave you a 'congrats' message on there last Friday, but I screwed it up.

I've put 'Happy Apathy' on my Faves list and look forward to reading more. I didn't think anyone could entertain me with details on the mating habits of seabirds - you proved me wrong.

Hey BSlim

you made a little typo: change that last period to, the way God and the GOP intended, dontcha know.

Ask Pookie if you don't believe me.

Now that O.J.'s back in jail, who's going to continue the hunt for Ron and Nicole's real killer?

Lots of golf courses still to check...

Sorry, Jay, but the Palin-spec frenzy appears to be all too real. I heard a story on NPR within the last couple of weeks where they went to Japan and interviewed the guy who designs those frames. He's a professor at a Japanese university (in design? ophtamology? I tuned in in the middle and didn't hear the whole thing), and he thanked her for giving his private company such a spike in sales. He then went on to say that he really didn't like her politics and that he would vote for Obama if he could...

I'm also beyond sick of her "hockey mom" and "Joe Sixpack" propaganda bullshit. She and Todd have earned almost $300,000 in the last two years; while that's not "rich" by any stretch of the imagination (especially for a family of seven with a special needs child), it does put them in the top 5% of U.S. incomes. Joe Sixpack, my ass.

http://www.johnmccain.com/palinfinancial/

And the hits just keep coming! Meaux, I love the blog, but I swear to godtopus if you post another story like that I'm going to gouge out my eyeballs and throw them in a blender! You'd really make my Monday if you hunted down that woman and brought a super-charged version of your fish-zapper with you. Bonus points for creative placement of electrical burns, double word score if you manage to effect an actual neurological change with prolonged Electro-Convulsive Therapy. Really, how the fuck can anyone be torn between the candidates??

Pookie, I see your point, but re OJ specifically I'm with Skittimus - I don't care who he is or what he looks like, he's been taunting karma for far too long and karma finally brought down the hammer.

Pooks, the point with OJ Simpson is not black, white, pink, brown, or whatever other color you mentioned. The point is that the man is an insufferable jackass who got away with murder on what should have been an "open and shut" case simply because he is famous. I watched every minute of that trial because I thought I wanted to be a lawyer. I have never seen someone look so damned pleased as when they showed the shots of the dead Nicole Brown Simpson. The LAPD cemented their ownership of the most incompetent police department in the US and possibly throughout history.

You have some points, but using OJ to back them is a poor choice. OJ got busted for stealing DirecTv. He beat up his new girlfriend. He helped write a book called "If I did it". He deserves prison and will hopefully stay there for the remainder of his days. OJ is simply a blight on the human landscape and deserves whatever is coming to him. He is a piss-poor excuse for a human. This never was, at least for me, about racism. It was about celebrity and absolute incompetence on every level in the prosecution.

Pookie, you forgot the brown people. That screws up your racial color wheel.

Slim, I won't say that you are completely wrong about that. The media circus would have been a hell of a lot less annoying. Some pissed off LA commuter would have ran his 45 mph driving ass over on the 405 during the infamous "I am going to kill myself because I am Sooooo innocent" drive at rush hour.

The plain truth of the matter is that he, in most people's opinion, got off scot-free from 2 first degree murder charges. People might have forgotten about it eventually, but he has never allowed that to happen. He keeps toying with karma until it finally bit him in the ass and Johnny wasn't there to get him off.

I hope someone makes him a bitch his first week.

Remember *white people* O.J. was YOUR favorite non-threatening NEEEEEEGRO, for YEARS.

He's got a point. I sure did love him in those Naked Gun movies.

Nordberrrrg!

Pookster, the only reason I know of his dipshittery is because he promoted over half of it himself - his "Juiced" show, his book, his goofy-assed antics. I don't hate the guy (and no, BSlim, he isn't my favorite non-threatening NEEEEEEGRO, that honor goes to Arsenio), but I hate that he got away with it by paying for it and then had the audacity to prance around making a goddamed mockery of two murders. Shit, even if it wasn't him that did it, he's still a thoughtless shithead to make light of it. What, was he afraid he was falling out of the public eye and decided to write a book saying how he'd murder the two of them if he were the one to do so? Why the fuck would anyone do that? Hmm... Oh, I know - because he knew he couldn't get tried for the same crime twice. Like I said, I could give a shit about him being black. I think he's a smug prick. And don't give me any of that "If OJ had ALLEGEDLY killed "Shanneqwa Washington" or "Maria Rodriguez" none of you white folk would give a rat's ass." bullshit either. Saying something like that is just as fucking racist as anything else.

Then how come Phil Spector and Baretta don't get the same ...ah, "outrage"..?

Next time, *try* not to prove a high profile case with testimony from a psychotic KK-Kop, using camera hogging D.A.s who were just plain LOUSY as hell, and who were out to become "personalities."

I thought this was fucking America were just being accused doesn't mean you are proven guilty, where you have the right to defend your ass; maybe you folks need to go back to civics class.

Or back to Russia.

Another opinion here:

I hope this "karma" shit also comes around equally on 'the legend in his own mind' Phil Spector and that punk Robert Blake (or 'RB' for 'Rat Bastard', as I like to call him), two "famous" white guys who's crimes seem as equally blatant & almost as heinous as Simpson's was.

[And I'll never refer to that 3rd prick by his initials, like him and I were tight or something - it's 'Simpson', cold-blooded killer, that's all, no more, no less.]

PS: Thank God my hero Bill Shatner wasn't at home when his drunk-ass (ex?) wife died in his swimming pool awhile back. He'd surely have been "boldly taken" where many other poor inmates already have, don'cha know??

I don't hate the guy (and no, BSlim, he isn't my favorite non-threatening NEEEEEEGRO, that honor goes to Arsenio)

Favorite NEEEEEEGRO, Celebrity Division: Chris Rock.

Favorite NEEEEEEGRO, Non-Celebrity Division: Cornel West.

Oh wait, you said non-threatening...

Al Roker?

Then how come Phil Spector and Baretta don't get the same ...ah, "outrage"..?

BarbadoSlim

Bslim I wonder if you have the same powers as Superman's arch enemy Mr. Mxyzptlk?
See if you can figure this out. Revol aggin a naht erom gnihton era uoy.

Che, nice post. If I read it right and you are saying that had OJ been convicted just because he was black, that would have been racist, then I agree with the statment. Had the case work been done properly or had he not had a multimillion dollar legal team, yeah, he would probably be in San Quentin, regardless of his guilt or not. He has done nothing since the trial to make me think that he is innocent and for that reason, I believe in his guilt. Not because he is black, but because he has done nothing but convince me of his inherent guilt. The case was flawed from the start and ultimately lead to his acquittal. The murder trial should have had no bearing on the judgment in this new case, but ultimately did because of the incessant media coverage of the original trial.

Che, I do have to make a correction. I don't know of anything that OJ used a gun for. Was there one in the robbery? I don't remember.

Michael Clark Duncan watches UFC? Goddamn, I love useless trivia.

Oh, topic? Heh. Nordberg.

Now, why the hell aren't you people at Donors Choose buying some kid a microscope or copies of OJ's book or something? Donate, then bitch about what the world is coming to. Or hell, open another browser window and do both!

Please?

Skitts my friend you really do have a unhealthy preoccupation with O.J., I mean who can recite at a moments notice all of O.J.'s shenanigans?
Posted by: Pookie

I disagree. Even I could list everything he's done, but not because of the color of his skin, but because:
a) Who could forget everything OJ did?
b) If anyone has a fixation with race it's him. The only reason he didn't go to jail was because he turned the whole trial into a race crime. Michael Jackson did exactly the same thing, even though he probably can't sing anymore because of all the underage dick he's sucked.

OJ's defense was built around white folks trying to frame him for the murder of two white people; there's no point in denying it.

Wait a minute, BSlim - aren't you going to explain how I'm a racist? Puh-leeze? 'Cause I'd love to hear it, really I would...

Oh, come on now. So say he didn't do anything, right? He didn't do jack shit. You don't think it's the least bit revolting he writes a book saying how he would have murdered the two of them had he actually decided to do it?

I know how it works here. I just think the shit he's done since being acquitted is a little goddamed repugnant and ignorant. If you want to say that makes me a racist, great. It also makes you a shithead. And if you wanna pull some of that "your type" bullshit, maybe you should get a little more info than what you pull off a goddam review site, otherwise you look like a twat.

Meaux, I could never stay angry with you. Just please spare me the further aggravation and agony.

Just a thought here - not denying any racial overtones, but could it be that OJ's so notorious because of his behaviour? A uniquely vicious crime with salacious details and backstory, a high-profile chase, a trial that was a contest of who could hog the camera the longest (developing a parallel, dark contest of who could fuck up their job the most to deserve the most camera time), then not one but 2 trials, in one of which he was not guilty but in the other he was liable? It's primarily the sensational crimes that grab attention, more so than racial ones I would say, just looking at Bobbit (sorry guys), Alexandra Yates, Scott Petersen..the white serial killers...the list goes on. I agree it's a travesty that it's dominantly young missing blue-eyed blonde white girls that get the press attention, but as far as attention for the accused, it seems more directly tied to what and how they did what they're accused of, the creative defense tactics, and how much money's at stake - skin colour is often a secondary concern. Spector and others like him aren't as remarkable as they're older, less widely known, and let's face it, accused of more mundane acts. Champion athlete...washed-up record producer (hey, what's a record producer do anyway?) Creatively violent double murder of ex-wife and her lover...some chick dies under mysterious and disputed circumstances? Identities and races aside, that's a pretty easy decision for a news producer to make.

Give it up Skitts, BSlim is right. You and your ilk wouldn't bat an eyelash if O.J.'s victims were white. Blacks were being lynched and terrorized from coast to coast as late as the nineteen sixties, but lets forget about that. But in your eyes, O.J. being found not guilty of killing two white people is the end of the civilized world.

Ugh, I am really going to regret this:

1) The first OJ trial was a farce. Nobody gave a shit about the guy before it happened, and the only thing he had going after was his infamy.

2) There was some shady misdealing on both sides, but the fact of the matter is the man got off. He was found innocent. Ever since then, the media has been watching the man like a hawk, regardless of anyone's real interest in his pathetic ass. And this new case was simply vindictiveness, pure and simple. The man was trying to recover HIS OWN PROPERTY from some guys who scammed him, and to attempt to get a life sentence out of it was ludicrous.

3) Let's be honest: black people didn't give a damn if he killed anyone or not (he did, by the way). We just wanted to see if he could get off on his "fame" and money like so many other celebrity defendants. This wasn't a blow for civil rights or race relations in the fucking least; it was revenge for all the unfortunate souls who were in prison unfairly. And even that reason was stupid; since it did nothing for those folks, and no real justice was done. Hell, this didn't even end the trend of railroading black celebrities with bogus charges. The murder of two people (regardless of the color or gender) was still unanswered for, black folks were still being thrown in prison for no good reason, and an asshole was given more attention that he deserved.

4) That said, OJ is a goddamn MORON. He has been milking this shit for the longest time, and now his inane fame-whoring has caught up with him. Instead of keeping a low profile, he has rubbed this in the public's face, practically daring people to come after him. That whole book deal shows how much of a lunatic he was. At least the Kennedys could keep their mouths shut about the murders tied to them.

5) I don't care how much a guy says he doesn't trust the goddamn police; that is no excuse to go break in to a hotel room and hold anyone (even admitted thieves that are there with your shit) hostage. He had no legal ability to do so, and even the most simple-minded of criminals would know not to do something so blatant. Yeah, the cops would've hassled him, but then THEY would be in the wrong, and he could have played the righteous indignation for all it was worth. The fact that they were gunning for him only makes the whole situation a plain embarrassment for everyone involved.

6) Saying he somehow deserved this verdict now because of his getting off back then is just as stupid and short-sighted as saying that someone is racist because they didn't think that his acquittal was real justice in any shape or form. And quite frankly, any further discussion of this idiot and the idiots that finally took him down is a waste of intelligence.

Che, I do have to make a correction. I don't know of anything that OJ used a gun for. Was there one in the robbery? I don't remember.

Posted by: Melody at October 6, 2008 5:15 PM

Well, Melody, you're correct in pointing out that O.J. didn't carry a gun (that anyone knows about) in any of the escapades that landed him in court. He does tell his cohorts to bring guns to the hotel (according to the audiotapes) -- as if not physically packing the heat would make him less guilty in the conspiracy.

On a completely unrelated note (well, unrelated except to the extent that we're talking about jerks in all their varied coloration), nobody has brought up Fred Goldman so far. Misusing civil court because you're unhappy with an outcome in criminal court doesn't make you a hero in my book. A vindictive asshole, maybe.

"You and your ilk wouldn't bat an eyelash if O.J.'s victims were not white."

I don't give a fuck if she was a Pygmy, he was a Spaniard, and both of them were distributing hot-pink flyers outlining the Ten Point Program, Pookie, you goddamed nut. So you're saying if he killed two non-whites, nobody would give a shit? Pull your head out of your ass.

"Blacks were being lynched and terrorized from coast to coast as late as the nineteen sixties, but lets forget about that."

Uh... yeah. That's exactly what I'm doing, I'm forgetting about that because... hold on, gotta adjust my Klan hoodie - WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A GUY WHO GOT OFF (guilty or not) OF MURDER, AND THEN WROTE A BOOK ABOUT HOW HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT. Not talking about race here, Pookie, I'm talking about tact and common decency following being found NOT GUILTY - both of which dumbshit Simpson has none of.

But O.J. being found not guilty of killing two white people is the end of the civilized world.

Yes. Yes it was. It was defining moment of my life. That day I knew there was no such thing as justice. Us poor, poor white folks. Whatever shall we do?

And enough with the "your ilk" bullshit. I could just as easily flip it around at people like you Pooks, ever the lightning rod of acceptance with your "half-a-fag"s.

I forget which comedian said it (I think it was Chris Rock) who said that the only thing OJ did for equal rights was prove that now a black man could buy a verdict.

Sofia, you have the kindest insults I've ever seen!

Aw, geez. It's over? Really? Man. I thought for sure the race wars were going to spill across these fine threads, ultimately ending in me & BSlim dancing slowly under the luminous glow of a new moon, to the soothing sounds of Pookie on violin. Kiss and make-up? Or are we forever branded as enemies?

I'll buy the beer...?

Oh come on Skitts, you don't think Tom Cruise is half a fag? Listen Skitts, when I play the " half-a-fag" card I do it reluctantly. The point is O.J. was found not guilty of murder in a court of law. And no Skitts, I don't believe you are a Klan person because you have to much style and panache. And I just don't picture you in a white hat, I picture you more of a mauve kinda guy.

Listen Sofia when you stop being all emotional, make mine a pastrami on rye.

Listen Sofia when you stop being all emotional, make mine a pastrami on rye.

Posted by: Pookie

A sexist joke! Tee-hee! Good one, Pooks!

O.J.'s in jail?

[...scratches O.J.'s name off of my list of possible Pookie aliases]

Back to the drawing board.

[...reminds self to purchase a drawing board]