Just when I think I can’t possibly get more depressed about the upcoming Presidential Election of Ridiculosity, I read something like this which makes me hit a new low. (Deus Ex Malcontent)
Holy crap you guys!! Sweet Dee and Mac got married!! Or, the actors who play them in real life did, for what that’s worth. (WIMB)
Jesus. Will Kurt Cobain’s hellish torment ever end? Even in death, he’s got to deal with these crazy fucking bitches. (Agent Bedhead)
Utah is banning fruity alcoholic drinks, so presumably teenagers will now have to rely on good old fashioned moxie and spit-courage to get pregnant. (QuizLaw)
I missed this post for Hump Day, but I would pretty much hump Lee Pace anytime. (Film Experience)
Why does annoying Megan Fox in her bra have to ruin an otherwise perfectly good Simon Pegg movie? Oh, I’m just kidding, it will probably suck! (Tune in tomorrow for the review!) (Popoholic)
More bad news for Cowboys fans… Jessica Simpson might be sinking her football-ruining claws into Tony Romo for good! (IDLYITW)
Did anyone else know Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride was gone? Seriously? Oh yeah, and fuck you, Disney. (mental floss)
Here’s a first look at Kenny Shopsin’s “Conan Burger.” A lot of his combinations sound questionable at best, but I think I would give this a try. (Serious Eats)
I was not particularly interested in Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynold’s wedding — but how freaking cool does this place look that they got married at? (Celebitchy)
Omigod! Omigod! Omigod! Miniature deer! You know this is going to be the next hot pet of choice for stupid idiot socialites. (CuteOverload)
And speaking of “stupid idiot socialites,” one of Paris Hilton’s new BFF candidates is busted, both literally and figuratively. (Jezebel)
These advertisements for high-fructose corn syrup are pretty much horrifying. I always thought HFCS promoted obesity and triggered insulin resistance, but apparently It’s A-OK! Also, is the white chick in the first ad Buffy’s demon college roommate? I’m pretty sure she is. Thanks, Rachel!
On a final programming note: Tonight we will have an open thread up for the VP debates so we can all laugh and make fun of that stupid idiot. Don’t miss out!
Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.
Those HFCS ads kind of piss me off cause they're all "it's fine in moderation" and I'm like "The kind of moderation where one can of soda has more than 50mg of it? That kind of moderation or the real kind, which involves waiting till Passover to get the Coke made with real sucrose."
Cause seriously, Passover Coke is the shit and I'm not even Jewish.
Also I don't trust artificial sweeteners. I'm kind of a food Luddite.
Those ads completely ignore the fact that it's not just amount of HFCS in almost EVERYTHING (have you ever tried to do your grocery shopping omitting everything with HFCS in it?). The body processes the fructose in HFCS differently than it does old-fashioned cane or beet sugar. That processing alters the way metabolic-regulating hormones function. It also forces the liver to kick more fat out into the bloodstream. Basically, our bodies are tricked into wanting to eat more and at the same time, we are storing more fat.
So yeah, totally fine.
Posted by: PaddyDog at October 2, 2008 12:28 PM
If Cheney hadn't been pushing aspartame none of us would know what it tastes like. And in 20 years - we'll know exactly what kind of cancer it causes!
Posted by: Farfalina at October 2, 2008 12:28 PM
What boggles my mind, Farfalina, is the Sweet n Low (pure aspartame) ads that push Sweet n Low over other artificial sweeteners because of that Sweet n Low taste.
You know, the one where it tastes like you're drinking rancid plastic and your tongue feels like it was dipped in metal. That taste. That's the selling point.
Although the sucralose people are out their damn minds too. "Tastes like sugar" my ass.
I was wondering who dumb mom reminded me of! And I would agree with Genny, except on the diet coke front. I don't care if it gives me cancer, I drink that shit like water. Although, this passover Coke intrigues me.
Also, Sweet Dee and Mac? THAT'S AWESOME!!! That whole post made me so happy, especially the picture stolen from myspace. Stalkerific!
Poor Kurt. That poor bastard has had such a hard time since he died. It's a shame. (That picture of him over there is stunning, by the way.)
That Conan burger actually sounds pretty good- I was mulling over the flavors on my mind's tongue, and I've decided I want one.
I'm with Genny on the artificial sweeteners. Yech. Also, cancerous. Oh, and that totally is roommate "Kathy" from season 4, eps 1 & 2 ("The Freshman" and "Living Conditions", respectively. Sometimes I think I know waaayy too much about Buffy.)
Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 2, 2008 12:58 PM
I can not discuss politics after looking at that delicious black and white photo of Lee Pace. Did anyone else watch the Pushing Daisies premier last night? My roommate and I almost died from excessive grinning. "Forgive me Father...for I'm going to file a police report on all my worldly possessions."
Posted by: Julie at October 2, 2008 1:01 PM
It's not that hard to avoid HFCS if you don't buy a lot of prepackaged, processed food. We don't buy anything with it since my boyfriend has severe IBS reactions to it. Also Whole Foods Market has banned it outright since about 10 years ago, I believe, so it's easy to shop there (if you can afford it).
Posted by: AM at October 2, 2008 1:02 PM
Ack! I haven't seen it (Daisies) yet! I was out and I had to DVR it! I watched the entirety of Season 1 on DVD Sunday, and then I had to miss it. As soon as I get home from work tonight, I'm firing that bad boy up, though. God I can't wait for 4:30.
Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 2, 2008 1:04 PM
Mostly it was good ole Don Rumsfeld who got aspartame on the grocery shelf. It was originally developed as an ulcer drug, but when scientists realized it didn't work they figured they'd just put it in food. And really, can you blame them? Drug development is like real expensive, and you'd hate all that investment capital to go to waste! Oh, sure, the FDA banned it initially because it causes brain tumors, but fortunately Rummy had the good business sense to pay off the right people and pencil-whip some bullshit research. He's so savvy!
Posted by: Mella at October 2, 2008 1:08 PM
Seriously Anna, that show is so charming and adorable that I never know if I want to tie a pretty ribbon around it and call it my pet or bang it. Both, probably.
Posted by: Julie at October 2, 2008 1:09 PM
Oh my god, AVP, you poor poor girl. My heart bleeds for you. It was SOOOO good! I'm not gonna spoil it for you, but there's a scene with Lee pace in his boxers. Mmmmmmmmm...
And for the record, I'm fully aware that Aspartame will give me cancer, but at least I'll be skinny, dammit!
Of course I know Mr. Toad's gone. I've been there! I've lived it!!!
The funny thing is that the Pooh ride kept the herky jerky track (they only removed the headstones!!!) and in the middle there's a big heffalumps and woozles freakout trip.
That first ad would have been way better if the other chick had ripped Buffy's roommate's face off.
Just my personal opinion.
Posted by: Girlnone at October 2, 2008 1:14 PM
I know, Julie, it's freakin' adorable. I love love LOVE Lily and Vivian. And I have to agree with everybody about Lee Pace. Mmmm mmmm mmmm. I've always had a thing for eyebrows like that. Also, he's kind of skinny like I like 'em. So so pretty that man is.
Yeah, so, bang it is my vote, I guess.
Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 2, 2008 1:15 PM
OK, so I'm totally hijacking this thread right now. Just for , like,a couple of minutes. It's kind of relevant, anyway.
So I just went to look at more pictures of Lee Pace on IMDB (shut up) and found one of him with SMG for a movie called Possession, scheduled for 2009. I'm thinking this is a remake of this 1981 movie called Possession that I have on DVD, but it turns out that's it's a remake of a 2002 Korean movie instead.
My question is this: is SMG ever going to do anything again that isn't a) a remake of an Asian horror movie or b) crap?
P.S. Thanks for that, Jeremy... spoilers don't bother me too much, I'm going along for the ride of it. Tell me this though: Is Paul Reubens back??
God I can't wait til 4:30.
Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 2, 2008 1:27 PM
I thought Disneyland had gotten rid of it's Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and I was like, Nooooooo. But then I realized they were talking about Disney World and all was cool with the world.
They have the Pooh ride at Disneyland as well, but it's nestled back in Critter Country next to that Bear Jamboree thing that I've never seen actually open. And boy is that Huffalumps and Woozles trip a TRIP. My mom started laughing all the way through like, wtf? And then we went on it three more times. Now when we go there is a huge line for it full of teenagers and young adults. I wonder why...
Posted by: NotBlonde at October 2, 2008 1:35 PM
Actually, if you're looking for reasons to avoid artificial sweeteners to avoid in the short term, Xylitol is a big one.
Why? Because as House taught us, it's actually a laxative.
That's why it's only used in gum and not addiction forming Diet Coke. Although there's a certain kind of customer who would find Laxative Coke appealing, I'm sure.
And I concur wrt: Lee Pace yumminess. He's got all the sugar and sugar related products one could ask for.
OK...I am admittedly nervous about this evening's debate... for a few reasons.
1. Is America stupid enough to set the expectation bar so low on Palin now that she can cram for her VP Mid-term in 4 days at McCain's ranch, and completely sucker them and, moreso than they are already, the national media into believing she's done a good job and actually knows what she's talking about? I can study a few physics equations and then regurgitate them on a test...but it doesn't mean I can design a more efficient automobile or plan a flight to the moon a la Billy Bob Thornton. It just means I test well. And I'm pretty sure she didn't get a 1510 on her SAT's. In fact...I'm willing to bet she took hers with crayons and a Capri Sun in hand that was inevitably torn open because she couldn't unfuck the packaging enough to actually navigate the straw into the hole.
2. Joe Biden. I am a life-long Delaware resident and Joe Biden is a great man. He's served his state and his nation well. But he's also known for having diarrhea of the mouth. It's like his mouth is .5 seconds ahead of his brain sometimes, although he knows what's right and wrong. I just hope he takes the proper tack here and uses the first 10 seconds of his 2 minute answer period to form his thought before speaking... Kinda like how your printer starts to receive and process a file before it actually lays any ink.
3. Biden is a habitual "close-talker" with terrible coffee breath. (see: Walter Matthau, Mario Cuomo, Martin Landau) He could end up causing the moderator, or worse, Sarah Palin, to pass out. The last thing we need is Palin suckling at the teet of National Sympathy because dude-man has never heard of Altoids or 'personal space.'
Fuck it. For all I know this whole evening could turn out like any number of movies. You know the type, you go in with expectations of comedy and gut busting laughs but all you end up with is poorly delivered material, awkward silences where it is near impossible to properly enjoy your popcorn, and an undying wish that this thing had never gotten the greenlight. John McCain is America's Michael Bay. Sarah Palin is the explosion blowing up in everyone's face. And naturally...the masses are clammoring for more.
Posted by: PissBoy at October 2, 2008 1:46 PM
There's no reason they couldn't have kept Mr. Toad AND built the Winnie the Pooh ride. I loved Mr. Toad, but I could ride that Honey Pot ride all fucking day long.There's heffalumps and woozles with optical illusions and mirrors for goodness sake. You can't top that. You just can't.
My dream vacation would be front of the line privileges to the Haunted Mansion and Winnie the Pooh. I'd ride those fuckers all day long and laugh like a madman every single time.
I can allievate one of your fears by informing you that Gwen Ifill will be sitting far enough away from Biden to suffer any breath-induced bias. But as for the rest, the US was stupid enough to elect Bush twice (well, at least once legitimately but that was after four years of showing us how incompetent he was) so anything is possible.
The only thing that might be good is that Palin will ensure that a lot of people who would never normally watch a VP debate will actually tune in and they may actually get to hear some hard facts about policy instead of their usual Fox version of events.
Posted by: PaddyDog at October 2, 2008 2:02 PM
I like sugar. Plain old sparkly, grainy sugar. Splenda scares me because I think I can actually taste the bleach they use to process it. Sweet-N-Low tastes like an ingredient in paint thinner, and the only thing I can stomach Equal in is iced tea, and that's only if the bastards serving it havn't bothered to sweeten it for me. And every fucking time I go shopping and celebrate at finding a product with "Less Sugar!" in it, I am inevitably let way, way down when I discover that the sugar has simply been replaced with some sort of chemical sweetener. It really pisses me off.
And I am so excited Pushing Daisies is back. I won't spoil anything for those who haven't seen it yet (get on with it, will ya?!), but I will say that I really, really, really NEED the dress that Chuck was wearing at the end of the episode. It was too lovely.
Posted by: Kolby at October 2, 2008 2:03 PM
Pissboy: I agree wholeheartedly. I think Sarah Palin will come out of this looking good no matter what she does as long as she doesn't drool at the podium and make little "pew pew pew" sounds ala Tina Fey. I'm looking forward to it though just because both of them will definitely bring the crazy and isn't that what entertainment is all about?
Robert: I see what you mean. I would be gutted if they got rid of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. My sisters and mom and I have to ride it twice every time we go there so that we each get a turn at "driving" erratically. We are all over the age of 20.
Posted by: NotBlonde at October 2, 2008 2:03 PM
How come there's no link to Quizlaw in Pajiba anymore? You guys have a fight with your multiple personalities?
Posted by: BWeaves at October 2, 2008 2:12 PM
Just in case anyone cares, I switched to raw sugar about six months ago (I don't hold with chemical sweeteners and banned HFCS three years ago). The raw stuff is cane sugar before it's processed. It looks like brown sugar. Anyway: it's delicious and if you sprinkle it on strawberries, you'll swear you never before tasted a strawberry. It's amazing. Also: 80% reduction in migraines since dropping HFCS and even fewer since going to raw sugar.
Posted by: PaddyDog at October 2, 2008 2:12 PM
I'm surprised no one has said anything yet. YES! that is buffy's demon roommate in the first commercial. that horrible hell-spawn that played "believe" by Cher over and over and over again. look, i know buffy season 4 was not its best (that would be season 3) but people....you're better than that. aw c'mon! on a seperate note, haven't watched Pushing Daisies yet but the promise of lee pace stripped down makes me want to go home right now!
Posted by: Scott at October 2, 2008 2:14 PM
My apologies to Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz. It seems she discovered Kathy before I did. well done, well done......for now (insert evil laugh here).
Posted by: Scott at October 2, 2008 2:16 PM
There's still a link, BWeaves. It's in the drop-down menu when you hover over "Staff Sites" in the navbar.
Scott, if you'll just go back and read comment # 8, I believe you'll see that I did say that. With episode names and numbers and everything. Thank you. Now settle down.
(P.S. We'll be watching Daisies together!! I can't wait.)
Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 2, 2008 2:18 PM
Tee*hee! And I began my rant before you posted your second comment.... so apologies right back atcha.
Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 2, 2008 2:21 PM
I absolutely understand that you will likely be tuning in for facts and politicking NotBlonde...
What also scares me is the gaggle who will be tuning in looking for the 'bringing the crazy' or looking at this for entertainment purposes. Mainstream media, ESPECIALLY the swooning rectal troglodytes at Fox have turned the VP nom into tabloid journalism...more concerned with how awesome Sarah Palin cuz she's 'so much like me' than they are concerned with the fact that "yeah...guess what asshole...she IS just like you and you DVR Smarter than a 5th grader... while you go out and get some KFC and buy new velcro shoes." Do me a favor...when you don't harken back to memories passed based on the stains on your shirt from what you were eating when somerthing funny happened, then I might feel more comfortable with you running the country. For now...go run your Hemi Cuda.
Then we have Fartsuck McMouthbreather from Pigswill, Mississippi (see Break.com's main page video from yesterday) WHO will be tuning in to see if 'that darky's' running mate has a smart mouth. It scares the ever-loving fuck out of me to the point, that, should we have a result come election time that in ANY way plays out like the last 2...I can gaurandamntee I'll be Canadian by January 20th.
Posted by: PissBoy at October 2, 2008 2:23 PM
C'mon. Don't make fun of Senator Biden. He can't help that he was selected and not elected.
Posted by: Bill W. at October 2, 2008 2:24 PM
I actually watched Pushing Daisies for the first time last night (the roomie insisted). It was really enjoyable. I'll have to catch up on the first season.
Also, I my introduction to Lee Pace was in "Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day". And he was delicious.
Oh, and in the interest of sugar alternatives, anyone checked out Stevia? I want to try baking with it soon, but since it doesn't react to heat like sugar it could be a little tricky. Still, I thought I'd put it out there.
Posted by: Lexie at October 2, 2008 2:29 PM
I'm feeling strangely optimistic about tonight's debate-I think Palin's aversion to answering questions without elusiveness will do her in.
Posted by: Julie at October 2, 2008 2:36 PM
How those commercials should've gone:
Gal: ::holds out a popsicle:: Hey sweetie, want a bite?
Guy: I thought you loved me.
Gal: O.K., take two bites.
Guy: But... doesn't that have corn syrup in it?
Gal: Yeah. And?
Guy: And corn syrup only exists because of an incredibly flawed government infrastructure surrounding corn growth and was created as a way to get rid of excess factory farm corn. Ever wonder why soda size has increased so much in the last thirty years? Because they had excess corn and needed to put it somewhere, so they just sweetened the hell out of sodas and made a medium 20 oz. instead of 8 oz. Yet the farmers growing the corn are only growing this excess corn because they can't get a fair price on it and are increasing their yields any way they can, usually by pumping the ground full of chemicals that are created from fossil fuels, all in an attempt to get ungodly high yields out of their crops.
Plus, you know, corn syrup is artificially made and last time I checked, all-natural whole foods that are locally grown are what's best for our bodies because that's what we've evolved to eat over thousands of years: a balance of vegetables, fruits, and protein to give as a balance of nutrients - not this artificial high-fructose corn syrup shit that you're foisting upon me. You show me a high fructose corn syrup tree in nature, and then I'll eat your god-damned popsicle.
Gal: I fucking hate you.
Guy: Yeah, right back at you, bitch. ::throws popsicle at Gal::
Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 2, 2008 2:49 PM
Guy: Ya burnt!
Posted by: noah at October 2, 2008 2:53 PM
Paddy - we use raw sugar at home. It doesn't just sweeten, it really enhances the flavor of whatever you put it in or on. Especially tea - it gives it a nice caramel aftertaste.
And I have to admit I'm nervous about the debates - not because I'm afraid Palin won't come off like a total moron (because she will), but because there are far,, far too many people out there who either won't notice (because they're even bigger morons than she is) or won't care (because they're voting McCain-Palin no matter what).
You're absolutely right about the tea. I was resigned to drinking my tea black and bitter or acidic with lemon until I discovered the wonders of raw sugar.
Posted by: PaddyDog at October 2, 2008 4:04 PM
Not Blonde is right about Disneyland having both Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and Winnie-the-Pooh's ride but wrong about the Country Bear Jamboree. It's never open anymore becuase it's actually gone, Winnie took it's place...what's left of it is now just a burger place.
I do miss the Jamboree - it was ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as Disney making a terrible movie about the bears after the attraction was closed! Although I never saw the movie I just know it must have been all kids of awful...how could it not have been?
Posted by: clarity at October 2, 2008 4:04 PM
its
Posted by: clarity at October 2, 2008 4:06 PM
I actually wouldn't be surprised if they use a "Text For Your Favorite VP" vote at the bottom of the screen. The media has turned this into a goddamed farce. BIDEN: if you've got half a sack about you, attack. Dish out the shit, fast and furious. None of this "Oh, he's gonna look like he's ganging up on the poor girl" bullshit. Go for the jugular. PALIN: I hope your weeklong cram session went well. Try to keep your answers short and succinct, lest you wind up rambling on incoherently, as you have in the past. No jokes/quips. And if all fails, give that million-dollar smile, a thumbs up, and take off your top. Boobs trump brains when it comes to good television...
Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at October 2, 2008 4:13 PM
As far as sweetners go - Stevia has a bit of an after taste, but it's not totally unpleasant. I use it in all my drinks now, no icky chemical side effects. For baking you can't go wrong with Xylotiol (sp?). It's a natural product, good for your teeth and bakes like sugar. It also won't spike your blood sugar. It's not quite as sweet as sugar, but still good stuff. My favorite sweetner to bake with is Brown Rice Syrup. Sounds gross, but it's totally yummy, bakes really well, has a nice molassas-type flavor and WILL NOT spike your blood sugar like regualr sugars do. All three are really good alternatives if you're trying to be healthier/lose weight, etc. This has been healthy baking with Auntie Megan - carry on.
Posted by: Megan at October 2, 2008 4:21 PM
clarity: So THAT'S why it's never open. I always see the sign for it and that large, open walkway to nowhere and I'm always like, what is back there? Apparently, nothing. Thank you, that has been bothering me for years. :)
Posted by: NotBlonde at October 2, 2008 4:40 PM
For the Philly-area peeps, Obama's going to be appearing at Abington High tomorrow night. Anyone interested?
Posted by: Nicole at October 2, 2008 4:49 PM
PISSBOY. I too am a lifelong DE resident. I agree with your sentiments about Biden exactly. I've spoken to him on a couple occasions - I used to work at Brew HaHa - and he makes the same mistakes in casual conversation. oh dear, he IS a close talker.
Posted by: Rachel at October 2, 2008 4:50 PM
and BEN. the corn industry scares the shit out of me. I got shivers just reading your "how this should have gone" speech.
Posted by: Rachel at October 2, 2008 4:52 PM
They shut down Mr. Toad's like eight years ago. I caught it in its final years on my first (of two) trip to Disney World. The place sucks without it.
Posted by: Lucas at October 2, 2008 5:10 PM
Pissboy: I think the debates are for people who don't know who they are voting for to hear the facts and all that. I already know who I'm voting for so I watch the debates just because it's important and I'll be watching this one because Sarah Palin is an idiot and Joe Biden is hilarious.
Posted by: NotBlonde at October 2, 2008 5:19 PM
Rupert the baby deer died yesterday. And I'm sitting her crying about it. *sigh*
Posted by: snapnhiss at October 2, 2008 5:52 PM
[b] Megan [/b]
Thanks for the baking tips! I'm going to check out the Xylitol some more, then maybe start experimenting.
Posted by: Lexie at October 2, 2008 7:13 PM
A few years ago these kids I was babysitting for were going to Disney World. Their mom was strangely into the classics and at the time the kids were OBSESSED with Mr. Toad. So I hyped the shit out of that ride before they left (when their guidebook-reading parents were not home, as I was the babysitter) and it was a complete shock to them when it wasn't there. What can I say, I don't read Disney guidebooks.
My bro and I rode that ride as many times as we could get away with. We really liked the part where it looked like you were going to crash into the wall but then it was just the door every time. phew!
Posted by: Cara at October 2, 2008 8:32 PM
Genny, after your biting and witty explanations on the scam of HFCS, the horrid taste of aspartame, and the literal bullshit of Xylitol - I officially lessthan3 you 4eva.
And you too Ben.
I noticed a LOT of changes for the better once I stopped eating HFCS. It's in nearly everything processed - even the stuff you don't think has a sweetener in it. So you have to read the labels. I also used to have weird reactions to milk and cheese until I started picking up organic milk on sale. Not only did it taste a million times better (as in, OMG WTF have I been drinking all this time?!) - but no 'gastrointestinal discomfort' at. all.
Anyway back to sweeteners. I go with local honey or sugar in the raw. Teavana also uses some german cane crystals I'm looking into.
Those HFCS ads kind of piss me off cause they're all "it's fine in moderation" and I'm like "The kind of moderation where one can of soda has more than 50mg of it? That kind of moderation or the real kind, which involves waiting till Passover to get the Coke made with real sucrose."
Cause seriously, Passover Coke is the shit and I'm not even Jewish.
Also I don't trust artificial sweeteners. I'm kind of a food Luddite.