Pajiba Love 10/01/09

What's Grosser Than Grosser Than Gross?

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (25)

This might be, hands down, the most disgusting thing I’ve ever reported on, including flesh cheetos and brain feet and eyeball eating. Six words: Jimmy Kimmel Sarah Silverman sex tape. Yup. There goes your morning croissant. (Yeeeah!)

Heh, this is cute. Woody Harrelson has been trying to convince his daughter that zombies are cooler than vampires. Well, duh. Of course they are! (Celebitchy)

CBS is now ahead of even VH1 as to how far they’ll go to recycle their own programming. I mean seriously — they’re on “Real Chance of Love 2” now. (Warming Glow)

I don’t know if Whip It is going to be any good or not, but here’s at least one reason to see it: Alia “Maeby Funke” Shawkat is co-starring. (Webster’s)

Remember how Robert Rodriguez dumped his wife of 16 years for Rose McGowan? Well now she dumped him — what a surprise! (Agent Bedhead)

It’s no Where the Wild Things Are jumpsuit, but this sweet Cobra Commander costume won’t put nearly as big a dent on your wallet. (Topless Robot)

The magic of the internet and people with video recorders on their cell phones have brought us a first glimpse at Seth Rogen’s Green Hornet costume. (Gordon and the Whale)

Here are eight film franchises that need to rest in peace. Does it count if they should never have happened in the first goddamn place? (Unreality)

Oh hey, since I’m completely not above flagrant self-promotion at all whatsoever — hey look! I wrote another review for The Impulsive Buy! (Impulsive Buy)

These are the perfect accessories to get you into “Dexter” viewing mode. (mental floss)

To get you pumped for the Coen Brothers new A Serious Man coming out tomorrow, here’s a quiz to see how well you know your Coens. (Rope of Silicon)

Here are some proposed new reality show ideas for TLC. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure production hasn’t already begun on some of these. (Frothy Girlz)

There may or may not have been a, um, labial slip on a recent episode of “So You Think You Can Dance.” But we’ll never know, because the clips are being taken off the internet faster than you can say “vaginacakes.” (DListed)

What do you get when you take “Mad Men” and get rid of the booze, smoking and banging? “Sesame Street,” naturally:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.

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Comments

What's this "Spiderman" unrealitymag is talking about?

Posted by: Jay at October 1, 2009 1:09 PM

I'm glad to see Sesame Street is still brilliant.

We got both a parody of Mad Men and we learned something about emotions! Oh Muppets, is there anything you can't do?

Posted by: Macafee at October 1, 2009 1:14 PM

The Sesame Street clip seems to indicate I developed PTSD from teaching music and drama at a sports camp. I developed a game really similar to that clip for the littlest of little ones at the camp and it's all they wanted to play. I'm twitching thinking of "sad" Camptown Races, "mad" Camptown Races, and "happy" Camptown Races. The horror. All those runny noses and pissed pants just grinding against my keyboard stand.

Get away from me, you damn dirty kids. Stay back. They came in through the windows, for God's sake.

No more Jonas Brothers. No more Hoedown Throwdown. No more freeze dance. And no more footballs flying at my head because they knew I couldn't catch one to save my life.

Shh...it's ok, Robert. It's ok. You're not at that camp anymore. That's it. Take your afternoon dose of Roy Orbison and a glass of warm milk to calm your nerves. It's ok, big guy. Miley Cyrus can't hurt you. Not anymore.

Posted by: Robert at October 1, 2009 1:17 PM

5/10. I do not know my Coen brothers as well as I think I do.

Posted by: Marra at October 1, 2009 1:21 PM

Can I get a Jimmy Kimmel-Sarah Silverman sex tape without Jimmy Kimmel? Because I'd be down with that.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at October 1, 2009 1:31 PM

HOLY SPLATTER PATTERN!!!! That "Dexter" stuff is fantastic! I want it ALLLLLLLL! Mwhahahahahahaha!

*sorry, my shoes are too tight....affecting brain*

Posted by: dammitjanet at October 1, 2009 1:39 PM

I saw the clips of the flashing. It was definitely vulvar.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at October 1, 2009 1:57 PM

Happy Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Reynolds! Many happy returns!

Or not, whatever.

Posted by: Kolby at October 1, 2009 2:01 PM

Well, I hardly know them at all, but I do know they're spelled "Coen", not "Cohen", so I got that goin' for me.

Um, how did that girl dance without underpants on?! She must have been flashing all over the place....

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at October 1, 2009 2:19 PM

Holy cooter! I have SYTYCD on my DVR, and when that dancer flashed us, my fiance & I thought she had black panties on... but I found a YouTube video that hasn't been removed yet that clearly shows her kit & kaboodle. Good lord. NSFW if you want to view it - in slow-motion, no less.

Will they get fined for this?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 1, 2009 2:24 PM

people let's keep it real, just cause the meyer plague is on us doesn't mean we need to loose ur minds, zombies aren't cooler than vampires, they are equally cool. the world of horror is a communist one my friends, everyone gets the same points, how you use them, that's another story.
and since we are on the subject, can we get the mormon lady with an hormonal crisis to a gulag?

Posted by: rio at October 1, 2009 2:35 PM

Mel: Better yet, will she get to go to Vegas? From the looks of it it is her kind of town.
I mean really, WTF was she thinking?
Girls, Please.
Panties: Wear them.
You can even buy them at Walgreen's, 3/$5.
Don't ask me how I know that.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 1, 2009 2:46 PM

MelBivDevoe, I think they digitally added panties for the left coast broadcast.

Now, if they could only digitally add funny to Leno...

Posted by: Drake at October 1, 2009 3:07 PM

I was kinda grossed out by that moment in SYTYCD before I knew she wasn't wearing panties. If I remember correctly, it wasn't part of her routine; she just dropped to the floor and rolled around in jubilation at moving forward in the competition, but I thought, "Girl! Watch yourself!". You're going to be dancing and leaping around and it doesn't occur to you to cover your privates? Shame is officially dead in this society.

Posted by: DeadBessie at October 1, 2009 3:42 PM

Further proof (as if it were needed) that Sesame Street is the greatest TV show EVER!

Posted by: PaddyDog at October 1, 2009 4:31 PM

I don't really want to see anybody doin' it, but I can think of lots grosser things than Sarah and Jimmy going at it. I'm trying to imagine it and it still doesn't sound as unsightly as tons of shit I've already seen.

Posted by: Slash at October 1, 2009 4:55 PM

If I want to watch a fat dude have sex with a woman who is way out of his league, I'll look in the mirror next time me and Mrs. Rubble44 to be get down.

Posted by: Rubble44 at October 1, 2009 7:27 PM

Happy Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Reynolds! Many happy returns!

Posted by: Kolby at October 1, 2009 2:01 PM
---
From Miss Manners' guide:

Proper etiquette decrees you address the envelope containing the congratulatory card as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. Ryan and Dustin Reynolds

Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at October 1, 2009 9:46 PM

Mr. Draper Muppet looks like Ben Stiller with a fedora.

Posted by: David at October 1, 2009 9:49 PM

Wait until they announce a sex scene in the centipede movie.

Posted by: George at October 1, 2009 10:53 PM

Oh my. I need that bloody-handprint shower curtain!! It's goretastic!

Posted by: Tarn at October 2, 2009 7:26 AM

I kinda wish they had been GLAD men instead of happy men. But it was cute. :)

Now if only they'd had a Pete muppet... :p

Posted by: Linda at October 2, 2009 8:37 AM

CBS & VH1 are both Viacom companies, right? Maybe Viacom is just into the green thing thus all of the recycling.

I've got the perfect idea for them, however. You have all of these reality dating show nutjobs murdering their girlfriends, right? Why not CSI:VH1? We can give Tom Sizemore the Caruso role and the rest writes itself. Ooh, then there's "How I Met Your Baby Daddy". It's kind of like "Accidentally on Purpose" with less Elfman and more Flava.

I see a VP of Programming in my near future and I can't wait!!!

Posted by: swingdude at October 2, 2009 9:14 AM

I hate albinos. There you go. I'm going to end every thread with that comment,

Posted by: Skitz at October 2, 2009 6:18 PM

MADMEN, brought to you by the letter S, for sycophant.

I think it's great that they used a big word that the kid's parents probably don't even know.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 5, 2009 10:36 AM

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What's Grosser Than Grosser Than Gross?

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