free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 10/01/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

haverchuck.jpg


I Will Use Pretty Much Any Excuse to Post a Picture of Bill Haverchuck

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | October 1, 2008 | Comments (41)

I love Paul Feig. This man is one of my heroes, and if you don’t know who he is, get the fuck out of my Pajiba Love. No, wait! Come back. Oh, I’m just kidding, my pretties… Seriously though, time to get with it. (NY Times)

Sharon Stone wanted to botox her kids feet because they stank so bad. I bet she took her baby tanning, too. “Just to get a base!” (WIMB)

To be fair, I can’t name a ton of Supreme Court cases either. But you know, I’m comfortable with this as I am a gossip blogger and not a candidate for Vice President of the United States. (QuizLaw)

Heather Locklear was framed? This sounds like something straight out of “Melrose Place.” Sigh. I really miss “Melrose Place.” (Yeeeah!)

Oh, Christ. The Sarah Palin Quote Generator. Not to be confused with the name generator. Thanks, Joyce! (PalinQuotes)

Speaking of our favorite Governor Peggy Hill dumbass, guess who’s cramming for the big debate? Aren’t Presidential and Vice Presidential supposed to uh, know most of their points? (Via DEM!) (BloggingNearPhilly)

Blind people are protesting the new movie Blindness because apparently it portrays blind people negatively. I, on the other hand, plan to protest the movie because it looks like it sucks balls. (Celebitchy)

Finally, a reasonable solution to the economic crisis! (atom)

Why would anyone make a drink based on white gummy bears? Those are totally like the most boring flavor of bear. (TIB)

Paul Scheer and Jack McBrayer guest starred on “Yo Gabba Gabba.” That has got to be the coolest kids show ever — it damn near makes me want to have kids just so I can make them watch it. (CC Insider)

We have the power to make James Blunt stop singing. Anyone feel like taking up a collection? It’s not like we haven’t come together for worthy causes here before. (Agent Bedhead)

As a preface to today’s video: here’s some hot lesbian on popsicle action. (Celebslam)

I don’t know if Phillip actually wanted to be given credit for this video or not, but tough shit. Phillip Stephens, everybody. He has a filthy sense of humor, which is why I adore him:


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Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

I, uh, whew. I'm blushing. Shouldn't have clicked that video. Well maybe one more time. ;->

Posted by: amanda47 at October 1, 2008 12:24 PM

That last video is hilarious and yet cringe inducing. Some of those actions look like they would be very uncomfortable if they were happening to actual genitals. Thankfully, they're not.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at October 1, 2008 12:25 PM

Biiillll!!! I love you.

Posted by: Julie at October 1, 2008 12:26 PM

Just in case you didn't think Paul Feig was cool enough already, try this on for size. So my wife hosts a little morning radio show in Central Illinois. She's also a huge Freaks and Geeks fan. So she emails Paul Feig (got an address off a website or paid somebody or cast a voodoo spell, I don't sweat the details) to ask if she can interview him for her show and he says yes. She still doesn't believe it -- figures she's being duped or he'll be a no-show -- but he totally follows through (and is up at like 4:30 AM out in LA to do it).

So not only is Paul Feig a creative genius, he's also a class act. End of story.

Posted by: Che Grovera at October 1, 2008 12:26 PM

Blindness sucking balls? Now, I haven't read the book in question yet, but neither have you seen the movie. From what I've heard the book is a brilliant novel and the film seems to hew fairly closely to the book's story and tone. I know filmmakers actually attempting to be intelligent might be off-putting, but hey, they can't all be Michael Bay masterpieces.

Posted by: stipe42 at October 1, 2008 12:31 PM

Stacey, you are SO wrong! The white gummi bears are the best ones!

Posted by: Kolby at October 1, 2008 12:35 PM

Poor Amanda Woodward. Are you sure "Jill Ishkanian" isn't a code name for Dr. Kimberly Shaw?

SoapNet stopped rerunning Melrose Place in the middle of season 5, and now I'll never know how everyone dies/almost dies/dies but comes back to haunt people from the pool/leaves people at the altar/is a bitch. It's almost too much to bear.

Also, if someone like me, who's currently in mourning over Melrose Place, can read a book called The Supreme Court in American Politics for fun, then the fucking V.P. candidate can too.

Posted by: Sabrina at October 1, 2008 12:36 PM

Blind people are protesting the new movie Blindness because apparently it portrays blind people negatively.

Can't someone move them to a theater showing Fireproof without them realizing it? That way they can protest an even more horrible movie, and there's an off-chance that Kirk Cameron can heal their blindness with his Jesus ray-gun. It's a win-win situation.

Posted by: branded at October 1, 2008 12:40 PM

I would love to see a movie or a sitcom with Haverchuck as McLovin's dad or older brother or something. Maybe they can kick the shit out of Jack McBrayer and his one note character on every show he does. I'd watch that every week...they could be detectives and they just sucker punch and beat people up...the Sweeps week episode with Spencer and Heidi would be off the charts....

Who would you want to see Mclovin and Bill beat up?

Posted by: Rubble44 at October 1, 2008 12:42 PM

That video may be one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Also, mmmmmm white gummi bears.

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 1, 2008 12:43 PM

speaking of the video...DJ Bean Flicker rocks the heezy fo sheezy

Posted by: Rubble44 at October 1, 2008 12:46 PM

I've played that pinball game before. It was awesome.

Posted by: Admin11 at October 1, 2008 1:02 PM

i too miss Melrose Place, it's my secret shame

well... nto anymore I suppose... now it's my anonymous internet commentor shame

Posted by: Dariuss at October 1, 2008 1:02 PM

Oh, about the Palin debate camp thingie... do you guys really believe mccain, biden and obama aren't furiously prepped for each public appearance?

Posted by: Dariuss at October 1, 2008 1:03 PM

Yo Gabba Gabba is great until you get the fucking songs stuck in your head.

Hooooold stiiilll....WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE GO! WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE GO! Hold stiiiiilllll....WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE GO! WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE GO!

Posted by: Snath at October 1, 2008 1:13 PM

Kolby that's just the pregnancy talking. I heard it makes women do crazy things, like eat peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.

Everybody knows the green ones are the best!

Posted by: Stacey at October 1, 2008 1:20 PM

Hey, hey, HEY! White gummi bears are the BEST. Clearly your palate is not sophisticated enough to appreciate their subtle glory. I'm so going to go find the nearest Jamba Juice now.

White gummi bears 4 eva, yo.

Posted by: AnnArrogance at October 1, 2008 1:21 PM

Green Gummi Bears? The best? That is just crazy talk, Stacey! I fear for your mental well-being.

Seriously, I only eat the white, red and orange ones - in that order. I'll be sure to air mail all my yellow and green Gummis to you.

Posted by: Kolby at October 1, 2008 1:37 PM

Aren't the white ones kind of pineapple-y? It's been a long time since I had me some bears.

Posted by: Cindy at October 1, 2008 1:45 PM

I'm going to pull a Sarina and state that I do not believe in Gummy Bears, nor any other Gummy based candy. I will not associate with anything gummy related except for Sour Patch Kids and blow jobs when I'm old and free of the confines of teeth.

Posted by: Julie at October 1, 2008 1:48 PM

I will not associate with anything gummy related except for Sour Patch Kids

Well I don't believe in THOSE foul motherfuckers. My face is spasming just thinking about it.

Posted by: Jay at October 1, 2008 1:51 PM

I can't help it Jay. I like my candy with a side of masochism.

Posted by: Julie at October 1, 2008 1:55 PM

do you guys really believe mccain, biden and obama aren't furiously prepped for each public appearance?

In spite of your apparent lack of a Shift key, you're right.

I don't fault Palin for cramming ahead of the debate--I would expect her to prepare herself; it's probably the most important appearace she will make for the campaign.

Sadly, unless she can get several ounces of extra brain matter injected into her skull before tomorrow, it's probably not going to help.

Posted by: Jerce at October 1, 2008 1:55 PM

and blow jobs when I'm old and free of the confines of teeth.

Nice to know I'm not the only sick perv here looking forward to this stage of life.

Thanks Julie!

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 1, 2008 1:56 PM

Gummi Bears!
Bouncing here and there and everywhere!
High adventure that's beyond compare!
They are the Gummi Bears!

I lurve the white ones. And the red ones. And sometimes the green.

Look, I held my tongue when Gov. Peggy Hill ruined my Sunday by wearing a McNabb jersey, but this hufflecunt (TM Julie) is driving me to the point of poking out my own eyeballs with a barbecue fork so as not to have to read any more stories about her complete and total lack of a functioning brainstem. Okay, that might be harsh, because she breathes and blinks (much to my chagrin), but I refuse to acknowledge that anything ABOVE the brainstem works. I also firmly believe that she has one of those strings in her back that you pull and she parrots phrases; one of them must be "Oh yes, harder!" for when her husband is knocking her up yet again.

Posted by: Nicole at October 1, 2008 2:01 PM

You are quite welcome AvB. There will always be a place for the fine art of fellatio, no matter how decrepid we may become.

Nicole, I saw the word hufflecunt and thought you were talking about me. My best friend has me conditioned to answer to that name, the bastard.

Posted by: Julie at October 1, 2008 2:06 PM

Red Gummy Bears people! white is so gross. ew.

That video is totally up on Kanye West's blog. But I didn't go there, a friend sent me the link. Seriously. No really, I don't like Kanye...except that I would totally do him. But I don't like him. I'm just shallow like that.

Posted by: Just Amanda at October 1, 2008 2:08 PM

Red Gummy Bears people! white is so gross. ew.

That video is totally up on Kanye West's blog. But I didn't go there, a friend sent me the link. Seriously. No really, I don't like Kanye...except that I would totally do him. But I don't like him. I'm just shallow like that.

Posted by: Just Amanda at October 1, 2008 2:09 PM

Nicole, I'd be upset with you for putting that song in my head, when just recently I'd had a self-inflicted bout of the Duck Tales theme (and why would I think of that?), but imparting "hufflecunt" to the world outside of Philadelphia excuses you. Nothing for women really has the same vibe as "sumbitch", but this one sounds close, especially if you can imagine Jackie Gleason spitting it.

Posted by: Jay at October 1, 2008 2:10 PM

Can we stop calling Palin Governor Peggy Hill? I like Peggy Hill and it's insulting to compare her to Palin.

Posted by: Lucas at October 1, 2008 2:25 PM

I can't help it Jay. I like my candy with a side of masochism.

Ahhhhh, shit, Julie, now look what you did! Shadows was carrying a box of printouts from his "Best of Recon - September" directory when he heard that line and fell down a flight of (conveniently-placed) stairs. Now his wrists are broken and he has to re-sort the pictures! I expect you to make it up to him somehow (naughty nurse uniform optional) - perhaps cuing up his footage DVDs for him to watch as he heals?

Posted by: lordhelmet at October 1, 2008 2:47 PM

White gummy bears may be boring, but at least they aren't gross (cough, cough (orange!), cough (yellow!))

Posted by: tt_marie at October 1, 2008 2:54 PM

I freaking love Paul Feig too, I remember him from a movie called Ski Patrol from like 20 years ago, where he played his prototypical lovable geek. In one scene he dressed in drag and sang Dancin' in the Streets. They played it on HBO every other day in 1990. It was awesome.

Posted by: MG at October 1, 2008 2:58 PM

I had to take a break from lurking to declare SFW XXX better than half of the media reviewed here.

Posted by: VinKong at October 1, 2008 3:10 PM

Well, I was asleep when y'all were talking about gummi bears, but I'm awake now! I'm sure it will shock no one that I don't believe in gummi things. Unless I'm high, but I'll goddamn eat anything then. When I'm lucid, I don't like gummi candy because it makes my teeth hurt. Except for fruit pastilles, which are some of the most delicious things in the universe, but you can't get them in this piece of shit country anyway.

I don't think I slept long enough. I'm crabby.

Posted by: Sarina at October 1, 2008 3:20 PM

Wow, great article on Paul Feig. Although he gets a lifetime pass for Freaks and Geeks he totally owes me 2 hours and $40 bucks for that piece of garbage Unaccompanied Minors. At least he rightly calls himself a failure for being involved with that crap.

Posted by: Ed Newman at October 1, 2008 3:56 PM

Dear Mr. Paul Feig article writer: BO and Junior are not Freaks or Geeks. BO and Junior are Jocks. In fact, they are the motherfucking asshole subgenre of Jocks who give people swirlies and date rape and everyone hates and fears them but they're popular anyway because they're on a sports team and everyone has to show school spirit by supporting them. Half the school wants to take them down but are powerless to do so, the other half tries to emulate like them because they want to be popular, too. Mr. Feig understands these social dynamics and bases his work on them. Your misunderstanding of these basic concepts makes me wonder if you've actually seen any of Mr. Feig's work.

Good article, though.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at October 1, 2008 4:20 PM

You trippin', Nosek. White Gummi Bears (and white Life Savers) are the best.

That video makes me crave corn on the cob. It's also a lot sexier than actual porn. Porn on the cob. Ha!

I'm such a child.

Posted by: Mella at October 1, 2008 4:26 PM

Mella, the corn on the cob part made me laugh the hardest. :)

Posted by: Julie at October 1, 2008 4:31 PM

*begin mom voice*

Why would you want to eat gummy bears? Don't you like the expensive dental work you paid for? Why don't you just remove your teeth with sugar coated plyers. It's the same outcome.

*end mom voice*

Posted by: greer at October 1, 2008 4:58 PM

*watches the video*


Oh teee heeee heeeeeeee


i am ACTUALLY snickering right now

heartfelt thanks, thats funny as

Posted by: nadine at October 1, 2008 5:34 PM