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Hollywood Just Skipped Right the Hell Over Ziggy

By Stacey Nosek | Posted Under Pajiba Love | Comments (129)

marmaduke.jpg

Huh, really. They’re really going ahead with this Marmaduke movie, aren’t they? They picked out a cast and everything. Do kids today even know what a “Marmaduke” even is? Hell, I barely remember what a Marmaduke is and I was born in the 70’s. (Film Drunk)

This list of the twenty-five best Whedon episodes (some complete with Hulu links to full eps!) makes me wants to break out my DVDs and stew in my own filth for the next day or so. Thanks, Christina! (Yahoo!)

Whoopi Goldberg had some opinions about Roman Polanski’s crime on yesterday’s episode of “The View.” And by “opinions” I mean somebody please kick this bitch in the vagina. (Warming Glow)

Felicia Day gives an interview regarding her geek goddess status and online web series, “The Guild” — coming to a DVD near you! Thanks to Arib! (Wired)

Wow, I didn’t think they could make me any more uninterested in the new “Focker” movie (Get it? Because it sounds like…) but then they went and cast Jessica Alba in it. (Gordon and the Whale)

Today’s link most likely to make you break out in fit of childish giggles is: “The top 25 funny google search suggestions!” (Holy Taco)

United States health care is a lot less depressing if you think of it as some kind of fun, competitive board game. (Naive’s Guide)

Good news, Amy Winehouse fans! It looks like she’s back in the studio recording. Oh, I’m sorry, I actually meant back in “some dude’s house” and “rambling incoherently into a camera.” (Webster’s)

User-generated clips of Christopher Nolan’s new movie Inception have been popping up online, so — with any luck — maybe you won’t even need to actually see the movie by the time it finally gets released. (Screen Junkies)

Wait, really? Mattel supposedly just started their first ever line of African American Barbie dolls. I swear I remember seeing black Barbies way back in the day. (Zelda Lily)

Scarlett Johansson complains about people speculating about her body image for a magazine interview in which her likeness appears extremely Photoshopped on the cover. (Celebitchy)

Anyone remember Katarina Witt? The popular German ice skater from the Olympics from back in the day? Well, um, time has been kind to her. (Superior Gossip)

Oooh, there’s nothing I love more then “Brady Bunch” scandals, so here are six secrets from the Brady vault. (mental floss)

Japan’s reimagining of “Sesame Street’s” favorite gay couple is probably the scariest thing I’ve seen on the internet since the trailer for Paranormal Activity:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.







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Comments

Stacy, I had Black & White Barbies growing up, (I think Teresa was Barbie's lone Black friend) but they were just white Barbies in a brown shade. But Mattel has been changing the faces (fuller lips, bigger waist, rounder eyes, etc) on "ethnic" Barbies for a while now. These are just Barbies in different shades of brown. The hair is the same, though.

What is it about going on The View that turns people into such raging assholes? First Rosie, now Whoopi.

Posted by: Brie at September 30, 2009 1:16 PM

"Who are the five greatest rappers of all time? Zalon, Zalon, Zalon, Zalon and Zalon. Because I spit hot fire."

What you saw were Barbie dolls made with brown plastic. These appear to be Barbie dolls actually based on black women. But I bet they still have Barbie's bony ass.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 30, 2009 1:21 PM

Did anyone else just hear an echo of Mr. Burns? "Oh Ziggy, will you ever win?"

And Whoopi...Really? It wasn't rape-rape? Define "rape-rape" here for me, because I'm generally pretty fucking curious about this.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at September 30, 2009 1:21 PM

I (heart) Katarina Witt! Dankeschoen!

Eyes glued on TV highlight shows during '88 Winter Games, mostly for her. (I was 16 at the time).

Elizabeth manley of those same Olympics (same event) hasn't aged quite as well, sadly.

Posted by: oskar at September 30, 2009 1:23 PM

I much prefered my Teresa doll over Barbie. Mine was white and had a brown ponytail. I loved her so.

My Barbies I shaved.

Posted by: Julie at September 30, 2009 1:33 PM

I loved Katarina Witt, but what is she wearing there? Is this some audition for a reality show based on either The Sound of Music or Little House on the Prairie? Or possibly some combination of the two? Like, are there lederhosen under there?

I was going to say about how I had a black barbie when I was a kid (in the olden days of the 1970s), but then realized (and that realization was backed up by a number of pointing-outs) that they were really just barbies dyed black. Huh. I guess I never really thought about it.
(p.s. Julie, all my barbies got "haircuts" when I went through my "I want to be a hairdresser" phase. Even Marie Osmond.)

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 30, 2009 1:49 PM

Ok, I know Amy really well/pray for her a lot and I feel I need to translate for her with that rapping video:

Beginning to about 52 seconds in: Yeah, I like what these bees are doing in my...in my....bees are in my.....nose. Head. Brain. Bees. Wipe. In. Whoa.

52 seconds, when the guy is singing: HE'S SO GOOD I FEEL SO GOOD HE'S SO GOOD. PEE. PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe.

1:01: I'M TERFIED! TA! HOR! HOR! HORK!

1:10: THE SCAREDS! THE SKARDZ! I! WITH!

Guy playing guitar: Wow, this is weird. Why am I so sober right now?

Amy: I'm a Jew, smoking bacon, I'm a Jewmacain, Zalon is so good at drums I feel sad.

Zalon, playing drums: Oh never take your love away....oh never take your love away....

Amy, again: SHIT PISS FICK BITCH NIT! BITCH NITS!

The end.

I'm guessing this was done Monday night. It's her most sober night, usually.

Posted by: Snuggiepants the Deathbringer at September 30, 2009 1:58 PM

Elizabeth manley of those same Olympics (same event) hasn't aged quite as well, sadly.

Well, I think sexy ages better than cute, and Liz was cute. Cute doesn't seem to hold up after a while. Which would be sad, for me, except who needs cute when you have a WINNING SENSE OF HUMOUR.

BTW, Elizabeth called my house once when I was about 11 (my mom was involved in booking ice time somehow) and I almost died from excitement. I loved that woman so hard! She was my favorite, and I wanted all her outfits.

Oh yeah . . . skate nerds represent . . .

Posted by: Lauren at September 30, 2009 2:01 PM

Indeed, but she's still a Commie.

Posted by: Jay at September 30, 2009 2:02 PM

There's kicking a bitch in the vagina, and then there's kicking a bitch in the vagina.

(Seriously, you take Whoopi to task for mistakenly defending a rapist by wishing someone would kick her in the vagina? Seriously?)

Posted by: Mohaski at September 30, 2009 2:11 PM

My friend Nattie tells me that she had a 'black barbie' back in the day.
She said the skin was pretty dark and that she was really ugly. I asked
her to do some research but she couldn't find a picture. The doll was
called Colored Francie and debut'd in 1967.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at September 30, 2009 2:19 PM

My friend Nattie tells me that she had a 'black barbie' back in the day.
She said the skin was pretty dark and that she was really ugly. I asked
her to do some research but she couldn't find a picture. The doll was
called Colored Francie and debut'd in 1967.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at September 30, 2009 2:20 PM

RAPE-RAPE??! What the fuck does she even mean by that? I mean...I can't even...goddamnit! Can you imagine a lawyer using that defense? "Your honor, we acknowledge that my client took advantage of a child by drugging and sexually assaulting her but ask that all charges be dismissed because it wasn't, you know, rape-rape. Plus, it was a super long time ago, and he would have had to go to jail, like, forever!" And his friend said it was a LITTLE MISTAKE? As in, oops, I tripped and accidentally anally raped a little girl? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

I hope the rest of those links are good enough to dissipate my rage before I have to drive home.

*pause*

Ah, Whedon links. Thank God.

Posted by: DeadBessie at September 30, 2009 2:25 PM

Apparently, there's the July 09 Italian Vogue mag who did something with
the whole 'Black Barbie" topic. There's several pics on the page to boot.

Ok... I'm over this now. :D
http://www.incolor.net/index.php/article/im_a_barbie_girl_celebrating_
black_barbie_and_vogues_all-black_issue_annive/

Posted by: Ms MoMo at September 30, 2009 2:27 PM

NOOOOOOO! not a marmaduke movie. i already have to deal with idiots comparing stanley (my co-worker great dane, check out my blog for a pic) with marmaduke or scooby or a horse EVERY DAMN DAY, MORE THAN TWICE AN HOUR, 40 HOURS A WEEK, GOD-DAMNIT!

/headbeaver

Posted by: gp at September 30, 2009 2:29 PM

Julie & Anna, I think most girls shaved their Barbies at least once. Unfortunately, I could never find a style I liked, so their hair got shorter and shorter. According to my parents, my Skipper doll looked like she'd been through chemo and my Teresa doll now looked like Grace Jones.

Posted by: Brie at September 30, 2009 2:29 PM

Jeremy, I think the real question is: If there's rape and rape-rape, is there rape-rape-rape?

Posted by: Lindsay at September 30, 2009 2:37 PM

Because I have OCD *and* I can't stand to leave something
honked up, here's a 'good' URL for the pix of the black barbies
and other black / African American fashion dolls:
http://tinyurl.com/ye6x7pb

Not sure *why* my first post went up twice, btw.
I didn't touch anything.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at September 30, 2009 2:48 PM

The more gruesome and fun exercise would be a list of sex symbols on whom time has been unkind.

Mini-list.

3. Meg Ryan
2. Melanie Griffith
1. Kathleen Turner (it's more than just her looks!)

Posted by: ed newman at September 30, 2009 2:59 PM

Megan Fox IS Marmaduke...2012.

Posted by: Doctor Controversy at September 30, 2009 3:09 PM

Indeed, but she's still a Commie.

The Fuck? Is Jay the new Slim?

I'll watch a Marmaduke movie if they actually make it realistic. Which means that the giant fucking dog humps everything he can get his paws around. There will be death, broken bones and more than a few stitches but the accuracy of the project demands it.

Also, gp, I didn't know you had a thing for beaver.

Posted by: admin at September 30, 2009 3:13 PM

The more gruesome and fun exercise would be a list of sex symbols on whom time has been unkind.

And, on the other side of the fence

1) Mel Gibson (also for more than looks)

Posted by: Drake at September 30, 2009 3:17 PM

only hand-beavers.

with big dead smiles.

lubed with the arm-sweat of an anti-semite.

Posted by: gp at September 30, 2009 3:46 PM

Snuggiepants, your translation is brilliant. "Bitch nits" has now tied "Butt mud" for top place on my list of Things to Yell at Asshole Drivers. Thanks for the laugh.

Posted by: DeadBessie at September 30, 2009 3:49 PM

Didn't we see Marmaduke before? I think it was called Beethoven and Rosie O'Donnell played the shit out of that role.

Posted by: Rubble44 at September 30, 2009 4:18 PM

Not to defend Whoopi (or Roman), but I watched the clip and what she was referring to when she said that it was not "rape rape" was the charge that he pled guilty to. He pled guilty to having sex with a minor and not rape.

Although rape is what he did, it was not what he was charged with.

Posted by: Alli at September 30, 2009 4:35 PM

Hey, no one ever really leaves the DDR, you know?

Posted by: Jay at September 30, 2009 4:38 PM

My fave google search suggestion?

type in "why are these"

and you'll get "why are these strawberries on my nipples i need them for the fruit salad"

Posted by: buttercup at September 30, 2009 5:45 PM

I thought you liked my smile, gp....

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 30, 2009 8:04 PM

I totally bought into the whole Barbie thing...I also got my auntie's 1960's barbies that my mom shoplifted for her as a teenager. Awesome! I gotta say that the black barbies *I* saw were only white barbies with another color.

I checked out the 'Colored Francie' dolls from the link and I have a retro doll with a white version of the same face as Francie, so I wouldn't call the situation equality town. My step-sister 'punked' her out though. Got some retro Ken's that have auto-walk action, but alas, no peen.

Last word on the topic - the last Barbie I ever got was the best and by far the most beautiful. Hispanic barbie.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_lCpKFWJWqko/SaNrXRyPUeI/AAAAAAAAAHI/FsBMzjUsuRM/S240/barbie1980a.jpg

The day her head fell off (four months ago) I was very depressed.

Posted by: replica at September 30, 2009 8:49 PM

How is a 45-year-old man "having sex" with a drugged, 13-year-old girl not rape? Whether the charge includes the word rape or not, it is, in fact, rape.

Semantics much?

Posted by: xiufetish at October 1, 2009 12:26 AM

way to keep fuckin that chicken, xiufetish.

oh snap, that totally works!
imamuthafuckingenius

Posted by: gp at October 1, 2009 12:55 AM

Snaaayup! You be da man.

Posted by: xiufetish at October 1, 2009 1:57 AM

So, Felicia Day reads anything people say about her on the web, huh?

Excuse me, I have some...."stories" to amend.

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Posted by: Jamie Jakobson at September 26, 2010 6:56 AM

Stupid is just as stupid does...this whole thing has been a joke. Lindsay Lohan goes onto do detrimental drugs just because this lady is not going to "get it"...The entire court program is a faiytale. Why not put this lady in some prison in Cincinnati or someplace else in Ohio where you don't have overcrowding then there is no daft system that routinely let's them get away with ****. In any case if the lady is likely to continue to do narcotics she must be "intelligent" about it rather than get arrested...otherwise, go on with what you are doing Lindsay lohan and allow us to drop you in Afghanistan with truly courageous troops who’re losing their lives every single day to give you your ignorant so-called "independence".

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Posted by: Erasmo Walks at October 11, 2010 8:46 AM

I think they should axe every single one of them and take Hollyoaks off the telly altogether. It is the worst thing on TV.

Posted by: Lauren Jones at October 20, 2010 1:16 PM

Sometimes, getting directly to the point, requires you to have a strong attitude.

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Posted by: hollyoaks episodes 2007 at October 26, 2010 8:11 AM

Ummmm...may I suggest watching the news instead of Hollyoaks?

Posted by: hollyoaks ladies at October 26, 2010 8:12 AM

yeah in line with the first answer its not run in seasons its just run untill noone watches it but i would recommend start watching from about 6 months ago because there is never a time you could start watching it without not understaning what is going on so by the time you get to now you would be familiar enough with charachters

Posted by: hollyoaks casting director at October 26, 2010 8:13 AM

i think its good as it brings normal everyday things into it problems and situations that other soaps are to afraid of showing and bringing across

Posted by: hollyoaks girls calendar 2005 at October 26, 2010 8:13 AM

It was late 2005 I believe because in 2006 they won best storyline at the soap awards.

Posted by: hollyoaks ste hay at October 26, 2010 8:13 AM

In the week beginning 14th June she's going to lie to Jake that she is leukemia, which is sick enough, let alone the fact his sister is actually has cancer. They have dropped the child killer storyline but she's definitely got something to hide.

Posted by: past hollyoaks characters at October 26, 2010 8:14 AM

Yeah I have been so sad after watching Hollyoaks, I've seen it so many times and cried that it now feels so real to me!. I think Steph and Tom will be fine together.

Posted by: new hollyoaks cast at October 26, 2010 8:15 AM

There's only one person's opinion that has any significance whatever - and that's the story writers !

Posted by: chris fountain hollyoaks interview at October 26, 2010 8:15 AM

sash hates calvin because he left warren to die in the loft fire,lauren doesnt hate calvin anymore because he got gaz outta jail.gaz is such a creep and des is turning into a but of a weirdo aswell

Posted by: gemma atkinson hollyoaks at October 26, 2010 8:16 AM

Love Hollyoaks!! will definitly be keeping an eye on this one in the hope that we get an answer

Posted by: hollyoaks john paul and craig first kiss at October 26, 2010 8:16 AM

It was late 2005 I believe because in 2006 they won best storyline at the soap awards.

Posted by: hollyoaks episode guide july 2010 at October 26, 2010 8:16 AM

In later they swear.The F word.

Posted by: hollyoaks catch up youtube at October 26, 2010 8:17 AM

Mal x

Posted by: hollyoaks john paul and craig fanfiction at October 26, 2010 8:18 AM

I thought they were going to get married in Belfast

Posted by: hollyoaks spoilers october 2010 at October 26, 2010 8:20 AM

Loads is going on at the moment. Go onto Digital Spy, you will catch up in no time. It will be as if you was never away!!!

Posted by: hollyoaks later 2010 spoilers at October 26, 2010 8:20 AM

No!!! They wouldnt do this, Hollyoaks is finally creeping up the ladder of soaps and is more popular now than ever! It cant be true!

Posted by: hollyoaks characters leaving at October 26, 2010 8:20 AM

why were you watching it, it's sh*t.

Posted by: hollyoaks zoe dies at October 26, 2010 8:20 AM

yeh wot is it i hav no idea

Posted by: hollyoaks calendar 2011 hunks at October 26, 2010 8:21 AM

I believe that you would rarely see fat lady in this kind of show.

Posted by: e4 hollyoaks catch up at October 26, 2010 8:22 AM

hollyoaks rules......xxxxxxxxxxx

Posted by: hollyoaks ste and brendon at October 26, 2010 8:23 AM

The change in behaviour with her and Des is really unbelievable. She's gone all stalkery and psycho when, like Des there were no indications prior that their characters were how they are now. Loretta a and Jake are both leaving so she may be his exit storyline.

Posted by: former hollyoaks characters at October 26, 2010 8:25 AM

I dont know, but I wanna just say I love your hair.x

Posted by: chris fountain hollyoaks burton at October 26, 2010 8:25 AM

If you don't like it then don't watch it.

Posted by: upcoming hollyoaks episodes at October 26, 2010 8:26 AM

A horrible event, just hope the families involved don't watch that tripe. Is the producer Max Clifford?

Posted by: john paul hollyoaks wikipedia at October 26, 2010 9:47 AM

i Hate her! shes so annoying! i record hollyoaks know & fast forward it when shes on it!

Posted by: channel 4 hollyoaks cast at October 26, 2010 9:48 AM

aaah you know what i reckon. she will leave the soap!! will go 2 ireland to live with him i bet..watch this space

Posted by: hollyoaks calendar shoot at October 26, 2010 9:48 AM

I dont really feel sorry for Sarah at all as she is just too annoying but i think it would be great if Srah and Zoe went travelling togethr instead of her and Mike and came back as lesbians it would mean this whole storyline wouldnt be a waste.

Posted by: hollyoaks later sarah's death at October 26, 2010 9:49 AM

Hi, yes they have split up Calvin found a condom in Carmels bag and accused of her cheating on him, but it actually belongs to Lauren and Newt but Lauren doesn't want Calvin to find out so Carmel is taking the blame for her and wont say that it's Lauren's x

Posted by: hollyoaks in the city episode 13 at October 26, 2010 9:49 AM

I agree!!! I really HATE Lydia and i hope she gets what she deserves soon!! I want Zoe to be freed and for Lydia to be caught. Both actresses are leaving the show soon so it could go either way i guess. Lydia could get away with it and leave the village and Zoe sent down for Sarah's murder. Or Lydia could be caugt and sent down for killing Sarah and Zoe freed and leave the village. I hope Zoe gets freed and Lydia gets caught!!! Lisa Michelle x x lol x x

Posted by: hollyoaks zoe dies at October 26, 2010 9:51 AM

Agree! Ever since Jake came back she has been SO annoying! When she told Loretta 'leave Jake now and I'll forgive you' I was like who do you think you are???? Plus she's been so nasty to Hannah.

Posted by: hollyoaks dvd region 1 at October 26, 2010 9:53 AM

Well Max and Steph have spilt up and steph is now with that hairdresser man (dont know his name). Elliot is back to him old self and John Paul is admiring the reverends good heart as he falls for him even more. Justin tells jake to fess to seans murder and then he'll make sure that Frankie gets custody to charlie. Jacks money problems dont go unrecognised.

Posted by: hollyoaks later sarah's death at October 26, 2010 9:56 AM

its already well underway. he gets shot tommorrow on e4 or friday if youre watching channel 4

Posted by: channel 4 hollyoaks auditions at October 26, 2010 9:56 AM

not a good programme....same stories being repeated by different characters

Posted by: emma rigby hollyoaks calendar at October 26, 2010 9:57 AM

This was exactly the question I thought to myself a while back! I went to the hairdressers, and asked for some real choppy layers, and he did it quite well. I found that when I put my hair up it naturally fell like Carmel's does, it was the shorter layers on the top, and around my face that fell down and gave that look. The style looked really nice when down, straightened and curly so I'd recomended asking for what I did if you want this look!

Posted by: hollyoaks 2011 hunks calendar at October 26, 2010 9:59 AM

I hate her. I kinda always have in a way. But I am glad Sarah's gone, she was a pain in my ass, although I was a bit like wow didn't need to see her hit the ground. Anyways. I don't think she will become the most hated, many people really don't like her, and she is a freak. But at the same time, I know loads of people that love her because she is a psycho. Hated Sarah, Hate Lydia. Love Zoe, she needs freed. Love Hollyoaks Much ? x

Posted by: hollyoaks theme tune tab at October 26, 2010 9:59 AM

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Posted by: hollyoaks john paul and craig at October 26, 2010 9:59 AM

I'm guessing it's Carmel's.

Posted by: emma rigby hollyoaks fan club at October 26, 2010 9:59 AM

i think that the tune is terrible as for the pictures they don't even involve all of the characters so to top it all off it is disgraceful and they shouldn't of changed it.what were they thinking!

Posted by: hollyoaks calendar shoot 2010 at October 26, 2010 9:59 AM

It was blurred because the word was offensive, just like his teacher indicated. Offensive words are blurred and ones spoken are beeped out if it is before 9pm. As for the actual word on his T-Shirt it was the F word i think. Lisa Michelle x x lol x x

Posted by: hollyoaks later october 2010 at October 26, 2010 10:01 AM

They are ok. I wonder what Carl's footballing blunder is and why Jem hates him so much. There's another new face Mitzee coming in on Friday. I have also heard that Cindy marries India's millionaire grandfather!!

Posted by: hollyoaks cast 2010 at October 26, 2010 10:01 AM

This was exactly the question I thought to myself a while back! I went to the hairdressers, and asked for some real choppy layers, and he did it quite well. I found that when I put my hair up it naturally fell like Carmel's does, it was the shorter layers on the top, and around my face that fell down and gave that look. The style looked really nice when down, straightened and curly so I'd recomended asking for what I did if you want this look!

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