free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 09/25/08 | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Nothing Is Making Sense Anymore

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | September 25, 2008 | Comments (37)

The only way McCain could come off more desperate at this point is with fuck me boots and half a bottle of cheap perfume. (QuizLaw) & (Deus Ex Malcontent)

Devendra Barhart and Natalie Portman are broken up, much to the delight of countless nerdlinger fanboys who fantasize like they have a shot with her. (WIMB)

In this new web series, Harry Potter gets “The Office” treatment. (atom)

Apparently CBS’s new “Worst Week,” which I did not care to watch, is like a Farrelly Brothers movie in a TV show. Oh, goody. (NY Times)

Charlize Theron says you can say Reindeer Games was a piece of shit, but at least it’s not “The Hills.” On the same note you can say the butt nuggets my dog drops are also “pieces of shit” but they’re not as bad as “The Hills” either. (Celebitchy)

Michael Jackson just doesn’t get it. (Yeeeah!)

Yup… This is about on par with my house in college, only with more empty beer containers. Thanks, Shane! (BoingBoing)

Poor little rich girl: Suri Cruise doesn’t have any friends. I’d be more worried about the Scientologists harvesting her organs for whatever fruity little plan they’re concocting to resurrect L. Ron Hubbard. (Celebslam)

Alyssa Milano has got a secret message for the people of Earth. (Popoholic)

The Department of Homeland Security is designing something to detect “hostile thoughts” of people in airports? I’ve got news for them, 90% of my thoughts are hostile. I fantasize about killing people who walk too slow in front of me. Thanks, Cindy! (NewsScientist)

Anyone who gets an idea for an invention by emulating Wile E. Coyote should probably rethink their business model. (Cracked)

If you live in a cave underground, or are my mom, and had no idea that Clay Aiken was gay, here are 15 signs that might have tipped you off. (BestWeekEver)

Seriously though, there were people who had no idea? How… Quaint. (Evil Beet)

If you were going to commit suicide… I guess you couldn’t think of a more fun way than “Death by Doughnut Burger.” Thanks, Figgylicious! (CakeWrecks)

I am a sucker for the movie Dirty Dancing, (seriously, one time I even watched it twice in a row thanks to fucking TNT and their “encore presentations”) so I literally begged my sister to ask permission to let me post this video of the first wedding dance of a couple she and her husband are friends with. Enjoy!

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.









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Comments

Hmmmmm, I found that whole "I'm stopping my campaign to deal with the 'crisis'" thing to be completely transparent, but didn't ge excited since we ARE dealing with the American electorate. You know, the ones who want a President they can have a beer with.

/cautiously optimistic

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2008 12:19 PM

But we NEED more presidents we can have a beer with. The current doesn't drink, and look how that's turned out. Not sure Jimma Carter drank either (he left that up to Billy), and ditto.

Don't trust a man who doesn't drink.

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 25, 2008 12:24 PM

You're welcome!

(And to follow suit, thanks Noah, for showing it to me.)

Posted by: Shane at September 25, 2008 12:29 PM

Am I the only one who's relieved as hell that John "Oops I Crapped My Pants" McCain is on the case? Because I AM. Totally relieved.

Now I can sleep easier at night. You know, because once singlehandedly he makes our economy secure I'll be able to take all my money out from under my matress and redeposit it into the bank account whence it came. It made my bed so lumpy!

Posted by: Mella at September 25, 2008 12:34 PM

The current doesn't drink, and look how that's turned out.

My ass, he doesn't drink.

McCain, you just keep digging your hole. This way, Palin can take over as the second in command of one of your homes instead of our country.

Posted by: Cindy at September 25, 2008 12:36 PM

Sorry, but that Dirty Dancing video was a snooze-fest. Except for the bride's lovely tattoo "knee socks".

Posted by: bloggiest at September 25, 2008 12:37 PM

Are those real tats on that woman? WTF was she thinking? Does she work at the circus?

Posted by: Jerce at September 25, 2008 12:43 PM

Oops I Crapped My Pants???

The SNL sketch!!! That shot of the old couple walking away hand in hand... with diapers under their shorts. Classic, Mella.

Posted by: Sofía at September 25, 2008 12:45 PM

John McCain is a coward. Yeah, I'll say it. His advisors knew he was doing badly in the polls and that Barack will do a much better job at the debates. This is a desperate ploy for someone whose primary indicator of "character" is his time in Vietnam. Who's brave now, you pansie?

Posted by: NotAnAsshole at September 25, 2008 12:56 PM

I cry foul at that doughnut burger. I mentioned the Luther Burger two months ago!

Posted by: Snath at September 25, 2008 1:05 PM

Thank your sister for me, Stacey. I just smiled through that whole video...

Posted by: jamiepants at September 25, 2008 1:11 PM

That wedding reception looked like it could have been a ton of fun. Skee Ball? With the bride and groom? Yes, please.

Posted by: tommytimp at September 25, 2008 1:13 PM

OMG UR MOUSE IZ DED is one of the funniest things I've read in a while. (Cracked Link)

Posted by: TylerDFC at September 25, 2008 1:13 PM

aw, I liked their first dance. it was cute and certainly not as mnd-numbingly boring as most first dances where 99% of the audience is thinking "When the fuck will this be over?" while downing three glasses of champagne and checking out the bridesmaids/groomsmen and trying to decide which one they'll be "taking home that night" even though it is more likely they'll end up throwing up bad wedding food in a corner.

That crowd was rowdy as hell, I hope I get such a rowdy crowd at my future wedding (no plans in place yet, I'm looking out for that special someone to spend a few hours with at the wedding and then never see because he's such a workaholic)

Posted by: NotBlonde at September 25, 2008 1:17 PM

I mentioned the Luther Burger two months ago!

S/he did.

And now you've once again got me craving the Monte Cristo that prompted the whole affair.

BENNIGAAAAAAAAANS!!!!!

Posted by: Jay at September 25, 2008 1:17 PM

I HAZ A PENIS.

(but that could mean anything)

Posted by: Snath at September 25, 2008 1:22 PM

There are many, MANY, things I wish to say about John McCain's decision, but I'm not sure I should share them here. For the moment though, I'll just say that this "I'm taking my ball and going home move" is probably a ploy to get the VP debate eliminated entirely. Also; stupid.

Anyone else out there want a better look at the tattoos of the lady in the video? I'm too young for the whole Dirty Dancing worship, so that was the most interesting part for me.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at September 25, 2008 1:23 PM

Was the title Stupid Vapid Whores taken? So they had to go with The Hills?

The worst is how that fake boobed blonde one and her king of douche boyfriend make their way onto the radar of celebrity news. As if we need more fake famous people created by money and or MTV.

Posted by: Devo at September 25, 2008 1:35 PM

I'm actually getting married this weekend, and damn if I'll tolerate my guests being quiet during the ceremony! I want loud cheers and hootn' n' hollerin' goin' on! I want a food fight in the corner and cake all over the walls!

SCREAM DAMMIT!! I DON'T PUT ON A WHITE GOWN FOR NAP TIME!

Posted by: Becky Tri-Tip Goddess at September 25, 2008 2:09 PM

Cute video! That's a super fun idea.

My sister and her husband (they were married in April) danced to "Accidentally in Love". it was freakin' adorable, and fun to have a upbeat song for the first dance.

Becky, I recommend against cake on the walls... they'll charge you extra for that.

Posted by: "Sybil" "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 25, 2008 2:23 PM

hey, Jerce and Bloggiest, fuck you in two acts:
I. Tattoos are awesome.
II. Weddings + Dirty Dancing = Me, crying from the beauty of it all.

And scene.

Posted by: Marra at September 25, 2008 2:24 PM

I'm intrigued by your use of the word "nerdlinger" I have no idea where that comes from but I've been known to use it myself. Can somebody help me out here?

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 25, 2008 3:05 PM

According to Urban Dictionary:

A term used by Futurama co-creator David X. Cohen to describe obsessive fans of the show.

Translated from the Futurama Season 4 DVD Box Set:
*THIS DVD INCLUDES A SPECIALLY ENCODED EASTER EGG WHICH YOU ARE NOW METICULOUSLY TRANSLATING FROM AN ALIEN LANGUAGE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO LIFE AND COMPULSIVE NERDLINGER.

Posted by: TK at September 25, 2008 3:24 PM

Nerdlinger = Simpson's reference. I'd wager my McBain on it.

Posted by: AllThatJez at September 25, 2008 3:33 PM

I'm still in awe at that messy house. I guess I could go a few more days before cleaning....actually I am going to go clean RIGHT F'ING NOW. that was gross

Posted by: Vin Kong at September 25, 2008 3:36 PM

Nerdlinger was on that Simpsons episode where Homer went to college...scumbag.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2008 4:00 PM

I think the #4 picture of Clay Aikens was his recreation of the scene in Sexy Beast where Ian McShane was getting ass fucked by James Fox at the orgy. That or he was actually getting ass fucked while the picture was being taken. I guess we'll have to wait for the sex video inevitably to be "stolen."

Posted by: OscarTamerz at September 25, 2008 4:49 PM

*waves dork flag*

Hey! Hi you guys! Nirdlinger is the surname of the guy who gets killed in Double Indemnity (the novel, not the film; his name in the film is Dietrechsen). Carry on!!

Posted by: Mella at September 25, 2008 4:53 PM

Is the woman in the video Sweet P from Season 4 of Project Runway?

...because that's what she looks like.

Posted by: Kash at September 25, 2008 4:58 PM

"Hey! Hi you guys! Nirdlinger is the surname ..."
-----------------------------------------

Dork? HA! YOU WISH, it's NERDLINGER not Nirdlinger *pushes Mella into a locker*

DWEEB!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 25, 2008 5:15 PM

Why the hell is Charlize Theron even bringing up that POS that no one even remembers, let alone cares about? Hey Chalrize, you should apologize for Aeon Flux too, I mean as long as you're running your mouth about the many shitty movies you've made.

Posted by: louveciennes at September 25, 2008 5:59 PM

I never knew other people used that word but I always use it on my Simpson-loving sister. Makes a lot of sense now. Thanks Pajiba. Much obliged.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 25, 2008 6:58 PM

wooo! DONUTBURGERS FOR EVERYONE!

I read it and thought it was like Homer Simpson's greatest dream. Mmm....donutburger.

Posted by: figgy at September 25, 2008 7:47 PM

Speaking of Nerdlinger, I totally saw an almost nerd-fight this morning. Standing outside of the Engineering building on my campus, 2 EEs were goin' at it over the nature of the eventual paradigm shift that humanity will face. I think one of them might have read a tiny bit of Hindu literature in some liberal arts class and so fancied himself "more knowledged" than the other guy. Unfortunately the whole thing came apart just before the point of physical violence when a cute chick walked past. They obviously both thought they might have a chance with her (they didn't, but it was kind of cute to watch. Like seeing a little kid try and hit on his new babysitter) and by the time she had passed on by the train of thought was completely gone.

And before you ask, no I wasn't one of the participants, I swear...

Posted by: the_wakeful at September 25, 2008 8:03 PM

Worst Week was awful, but I found the lead actor (I can't be bothered to look up his name) to be pretty charming and likable. I hope that when this show is cancelled next week he finds something with better material.

Posted by: Mimi at September 25, 2008 8:39 PM

Wait ... "Devendra" is a GUY?

*Thought bubble pops*

Fuck.

*Pulls up pants*

Posted by: bucdaddy at September 25, 2008 11:24 PM

Anyone else out there want a better look at the tattoos of the lady in the video? I'm too young for the whole Dirty Dancing worship, so that was the most interesting part for me.

Posted by: James at October 2, 2008 1:01 AM



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