free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 09/23/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Rock Bottom Bromance and Sadness Bear

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | September 23, 2008 | Comments (28)

Robert Downey Jr. has got a raging bromance going on with Tropic Thunder costar Ben Stiller. I know a certain publisher of Pajiba who is going to be just totally crushed. (Agent Bedhead)

Despite both former child stars having been to rehab and back; only now have Drew Barrymore and Kirsten Dunst finally hit rock bottom. (WIMB)

Nominations are now apparently being accepted for the Blogger’s Choice Awards, which is basically just a big stupid clusterfuck popularity contest. But, of course, if you want to vote for us, nobody’s gonna stop you. (BCA)

Awww! How sad!! Knut the Polar Bear’s human foster daddy (read: zookeeper) has passed away. (Cute Overload)

This is almost as good as a T-shirt I saw on “COPS” this weekend that read: “I Don’t Find Trouble, Trouble Finds Me.” (QuizLaw)

Dane Cook says that if he gets evicted from his apartment it will cause him to not be funny anymore, which is incidentally the funniest thing Dane Cook has ever said. Get it? (Because he’s not!) (Celebitchy)

Huh. Compared to Chris Klein, Tom Cruise is actually… Not that creepy, after all. (DListed)

“Best Week Ever,” which hasn’t been funny in God knows how long, is getting a much-needed overhaul and will be hosted by Paul F. Tompkins. Well, he’s no McHale, but it definitely sounds like an improvement. (CC Insider)

Rat-faced Miley is biting the hand that feeds her. With her little rat teeth. (Celebslam)

Summer Glau is doing “GQ” magazine now… Does this mean she’s now a Mainstream Babe instead of just an Indie Geek Babe? Phooey. (Popoholic)

Detective Evil Beet sniffs out that Useless Sack of Crap Perez Hilton may or may not have someone ghost-blogging for him. (Evil Beet)

While it’s debatable whether or not lobsters feel pain, it’s always a good idea to make sure the water is boiling before you put them in, rather than slowly cook them to death. (Animal Review)

Sales of an unfortunately named “Palin Syrah” have plummeted recently. On the other hand, sales of Genny Cream Ale’s new Palin Lite* are through the roof. (Serious Eats)

*Product may not actually exist.

I am really going to miss Toby on “The Office” if he’s really gone. Check out this hilarium fake trailer compliments of reader Wrion:

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

Hey... Nice whatchamafrick on Dunst Barrymore, but what the hell's the deal with the Pratt & Montag thing? Seriously... I do not understand why anyone would want giant pictures of them in a restaurant. Seriously. I DON'T GET IT. Shouldn't their fifteen minutes (which should have been ten to begin with) be coming to a close soon? Who the hell is interested in seeing shots of these two getting manicures, shopping, holding pumpkins, etc.? I mean really, what is their "fame" demographic? The Papapaparatzi can't possibly be following them around anymore, right? They've gotta be hiring their own photographer and shilling these goddamed picks themselves. Can we somehow collectively scrape together a hundred grand, have them "arrive" at some dive bar and beat the smug out of them? We'll sell the photos to the gossip rags and send 'bama the dough... I'll wear a necklace of their teeth... we'll write a musical to rival Fight club... puhleeze?

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 23, 2008 12:23 PM

RDJ and Tony Perkis? I think I just came in my pants.

Posted by: Marra at September 23, 2008 12:27 PM

Ack! Genny Cream Ale! Mr. Kolby is from the Rochester area, and that shit is in everyone's fridge out there. Well, maybe not everyone's, but at least my father-in-law's. They must like to enjoy it with their Garbage Plates and Dinosaur "New Yorkers won't know any better" BBQ.

Posted by: Kolby at September 23, 2008 12:32 PM

I'm with Skit on the Heidi/Spencer plot. They have way too much jaw power, which is kind of like chin power, only scarier. Imagine if Jay Leno decided to have a kid with Rumer Willis. That's right, people. Chin power and jaw power are the most underrated dangers in our society.

Posted by: Sofía at September 23, 2008 12:46 PM

It was the only total redneck beer I could think of off the top of my head. We have it in Pennsyltucky, too. I used to drink it back in college because a six-pack only cost like two fiddy.

Posted by: Stacey at September 23, 2008 12:47 PM

Genny Cream Ale? Large numbers of other mediocre beers here in the Midwest must have choked out any potential migration to this part of the country.

After reading the Wiki entry, I am very intrigued by this thing they call "krausening". Isn't that what you call the ceremony where Germans name their babies after baptizing them in a beer and bratwurst brine?

P.S. Sofia, we already fought and won the great chin war by surviving the movie Mask starring Cher.

Posted by: branded at September 23, 2008 1:19 PM

Stacey - at UF it was Natty Light and Yuengling. I don't know if Yuengling is cheap, but we all drank it. Natty Light, on the other hand....

Posted by: Kolby at September 23, 2008 1:32 PM

And if Palin Lite actually existed, I'd probably buy a sixer just to keep on top of my fridge for years, kind of like what my parents did with Flutie Flakes.

Posted by: Kolby at September 23, 2008 1:34 PM

Dude, don't mess with Cher. Cher rocks. I don't care that she's 70% fake (mostly from the waist up), or that she was in "Mask." If anything she was telling us what to expect from her face in the future. "Mermaids" means the world to me and to any other girl willing to admit it. During one of her numerous Farewell Tours she told Britney and Christina to suck it. She named her kid Chastity. She made me feel good about having a deep voice. I loved her in "Tea With Mussolini." She wears funny shit to the Oscars and is the only celebrity who has to send the producers a design of her dress in advance so they know what to expect. She sings what has got to be one of the cutest songs EVER: "I've got you, babe." She makes Madonna look like a muscular drag queen, while Cher looks like a regular drag queen.

And let's not forget about "The Shoop-Shoop Song" cover she did. That songs has the power to fix Monday mornings.

I don't care if I lose my Pajiba cred (if I have any.) Cher is awe-some. And thensome.

Posted by: Sofía at September 23, 2008 1:40 PM

Careful Kolbers... Yuengling is an institution in PA - it's brewed there. They love that shit and take it very seriously.

In the interest of fairness, when I lived in Philly I drank a shit-ton of it, and it actually is quite good.

Posted by: TK at September 23, 2008 1:41 PM

Sofia, I don't know if you've seen Mask, but I was referring to Eric Stoltz's character of Rocky, but your defense of Cher is admirably noted!

Posted by: branded at September 23, 2008 1:47 PM

/run-on sentence

Posted by: branded at September 23, 2008 1:48 PM

Awww, is that RDJ whispering sweet nothings into Zoolander's ear?
But someone else said this: RDJ does look a lot like Alan Cumming in that pic.

Summer Glau actually looks cute in the spread. She looks more geek chic than the flat faced ostrich I'm used to. Sorry Pajibans, but she's never done it for me.

Posted by: Brie at September 23, 2008 1:53 PM

TK, you misunderstand me yet again (sniff). I was saying we liked Yuengling, regardless of whether or not it was considered "cheap." What did you drink in college, besides the blood of innocents?

Posted by: Kolby at September 23, 2008 1:55 PM

Sofia... I have to say that while I don't agree with your opinion of Cher, I do respect that you're willing to put yourself out there like that. However, if you like Nicolas Cage (Raising Arizona being the exception) our farm will be a very hostile place.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 23, 2008 1:59 PM

Mmmm....River....

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at September 23, 2008 2:02 PM

Branded, I have seen "Mask" (First you told me he was gonna be retarded, then you told me he was gonna be blind AND deaf. If I'd dug his grave every time one of you geniuses told me he was gonna die, I'd be eating fuckin' chop suey in China by now! = GOLD!!!!) It's just I felt some hostility from your part when you added Saint Cher's name in there.

Optimus, is it terrible that I like "The Family Man"? For Tea Leoni mostly. Wait, did I just make things worse? (C'mon, after watching her in that I wanted to marry her)

Posted by: Sofía at September 23, 2008 2:08 PM

Sofia, it was just easier to include her for clarification of which movie I meant. Anyone who can get tattoos on their ass cheeks and then wear outfits to show them off is okay in my book.

Posted by: branded at September 23, 2008 2:20 PM

Anyone who can get tattoos on their ass cheeks and then wear outfits to show them off is okay in my book. ...While her son plays the guitar next to her!

So in your opinion, Halle Berry should get some fish nets, right?

Posted by: Sofía at September 23, 2008 2:28 PM

Greasy hair and a strange expression does not make someone less creepy than Tom Cruise. I mean, Chris Klein's greasy hair can be washed and that tragic hair-don't can be cut, but the cruise-azy? You cannot wash away the motherfucking cruise-azy.

The "I Don't Find Trouble, Trouble Finds Me" t-shirt is pretty funny, but my favorite has a pair of brass knuckles on it and reads "Talk Shit, Get Hit". Classic. And classy!

Posted by: Dangle McGee at September 23, 2008 2:46 PM

So in your opinion, Halle Berry should get some fish nets, right?

That's the most wonderful rhetorical question I have ever seen.

Posted by: branded at September 23, 2008 3:06 PM

sigh. this has nothing to do with anything but here goes anyhow:
http://www.slate.com/id/2199604

now, where the hell's my damn kleenex?
[sniff]

Posted by: Stella at September 23, 2008 5:00 PM

Agreed, Toby will be missed. Such an underrated character.... Here's hoping that was just a fake-out!

Hey, big ol' thank you kisses to all involved in the making/designing/distributing of the Pajiba shirts. I just got my Godtopus last week, and it is everything I dreamed it would be! Little tight in the bosoms, but hey, that's not such a bad thing....

Posted by: meaux at September 23, 2008 5:08 PM

we used to get this cheap ass beer, lucky lager. we'd scrape together couch change and a 12 pack of 11 oz. bottles would fit on the back of my friend's motorcycle. they still sell that shit, so i guess things haven't changed much in 30 years.
oh, and my dad still has an unopened "billy beer" from the carter admin.
anybody remember "nude beer"? back in the 80s. same as the lucky, only with girls on the label. as you drank it, their clothes "melted" away. good, clean fun.

Posted by: bionic bunny at September 23, 2008 6:26 PM

I just wanted to add that my mother of all people surprised me with tickets to go see hometown boy Joel McHale live on Thanksgiving weekend. I have the best mommy in the world. Woo!

Posted by: Mimi at September 23, 2008 7:06 PM

Also, Chris Klein may not be as "creepy" as Tom Cruise, but he is a a total asshole. I've never read an interview with him that didn't make me go "Dude. Seriously."

Posted by: Mimi at September 23, 2008 7:10 PM

STOP THE PRESSES!

CLAY AIKEN IS GAY!

I'm sorry to have to shock you all during dinnertime like this.

Posted by: Jay at September 23, 2008 7:15 PM

Whaaaaaat??? Never saw that coming, Jay! *heehee*

Posted by: meaux at September 23, 2008 7:30 PM