free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 09/22/08 | Pajiba - Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

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Dresses and Dresses and Dresses!

Pajiba Love / Stacey Nosek

Pajiba Love | September 22, 2008 | Comments (48)

I’ve got a full recap of Emmys fashion for you this morning. Spoiler alert: boring and ugly were the keys words! I swear, it’s like no one even tries at the Emmys anymore. (WIMB)

And if you missed the show, here’s a full live-blogging recap. (Film Experience)

Another interview with the “It’s Always Sunny” guys. Holy shit: Charlie improvised the whole Night Man rape song! (College Humor)

Bob Barr is looking to be the very first Libertarian to sue his way into the presidency! (QuizLaw)

Just in time for Halloween: Sugar-Free Peeps! If you’re wondering how a product made entirely of sugar can be sugar-free… Well, they may cause diarrhea. (Serious Eats)

You mean it’s a bad thing to push somebody too hard who’s fighting to keep her sanity in check? (IDLYITW)

Oprah opens her big fat mouth and crams something other than pork rinds and cornbread into it. (Agent Bedhead)

Sarah Silverman wants to bang Obama. Oh anyway, like who doesn’t? I’m pretty sure even Dan Carlson wants to bang Obama. (EOnline)

Jack Daniels now has ready-to-eat packaged ribs, perfect for anyone who wants their fix without having to deal with the redneck element of BBQ joints or the stupid shit all over the walls element of chain restaurants. (TIB)

This is the kind of thing that makes the difference between having a good day and a great one. (YBNBY)

OK, these ads are really creepy… But it doesn’t sway my love of Duravit bathroom fixtures. I have a Duravit toilet and bathtub and they are seriously heaven. (Jezebel)

Hamet, as told by Facebook News Feed. Thanks, Brian! (McSweeneys)

I missed this for Talk Like a Pirate Day on Friday, but it totally made me hork… So better late than never. (Cute Overload)

God damn I hate The Corrs. I hate them because at my old job, I picked the office creepy guy for my Secret Santa one year, and since you were allowed to write suggestions down on your thing (which completely invalidated the exercise) he picked some import CD and I had to go to like ten stores looking for it probably just so he could masturbate to the pictures in the liner notes. Fucking Corrs. (TMITM)

Today’s clip comes courtesy of reader Lucas. No really, like this is actually him. Because apparently there are even better ways to humiliate yourself on the internet besides incessantly talking about your bodily functions. Huh!

Pajiba Love brought to you by Stacey Nosek, who can be reached via email here.


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Comments

RE: Lucas' video. That's exactly what I did after reviewing Disaster Movie.

Also: Some of you people are sick motherfuckers.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at September 22, 2008 12:15 PM

"You people"? What do mean "you people"?

Posted by: jM at September 22, 2008 12:24 PM

What do you mean, "you people"?

Posted by: Kolby at September 22, 2008 12:27 PM

I hate HTML tags.

Posted by: Kolby at September 22, 2008 12:28 PM

Yeah, Dustin. What DO you mean "you people?" I mean, let's just call a spade a spade.

Wait. That came out wrong.

Posted by: TK at September 22, 2008 12:29 PM

Blech, I remember The Corrs. I think that stupid "Breathless" song came out when I was in high school. Weren't they a one hit wonder?

Damn, the Emmy's were boring. I've never been into them that much, but I couldn't believe how pathetic that show was. Huge mistake on the hosting choices (Tom Bergeron? Really?) and the laughs were weak and painful. It got so bad that I started watching Army Wives...on purpose.

Posted by: Brie at September 22, 2008 12:30 PM

He means The Jews.

Posted by: hatemail at September 22, 2008 12:44 PM

Oh.

Never mind then.

Posted by: TK at September 22, 2008 12:45 PM

Me too. Me too. I hate the Corrs. Hate them.

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 22, 2008 12:49 PM

I'm not sure what to make of the video. I'm relatively confused. Why would you do that? Scratch that, why would you own Garfield pasta? Or invite people over to watch you do that? If somebody called me and said "Hey man - you should come over ASAFP! I'm gonna blend a bunch of shit from my fridge, and then - get this - smear it on my naked torso in the bathtub! It'll be great!", I'd immediately cease to know that person. I feel dumber for having watched it. What social abyss do you live in to find entertainment in doing this? Seriously? I'm sorry Lucas, but if that is you in that video... man, there are no words. That was just stupid. Not "good" stupid, just "stupid" stupid. Wow...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 22, 2008 12:56 PM

So Charlie is just this comedic genius... I feel like I should've seen it coming.

Lucas, I don't know if that's actually you. But that really messed me up. Congratulations, I suppose? Is that what you were going for? Either way, You have problems... Or I do. Did I miss something? Fuck it, I need more meds.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 22, 2008 12:58 PM

I don't know what he means by "you people" either, but one thing I know is that I don't trust someone who has a massage chair in their house. Now that is just fucking weird.

Posted by: Stacey at September 22, 2008 1:06 PM

"...you were allowed to write suggestions down on your thing..."

Whooo! Ain't no party like a Secret Santa party!

Posted by: kushiro at September 22, 2008 1:12 PM

Hey now! What the fuck? You got a problem with massage chairs? Suppose Ryan Reynolds came for a visit to your house. Whaddya gonna do? Offer him a papasan? See, I got it all figured out. Use the massage chair to relax him so he doesn't even realize it when the shackles shoot out of the chair arms.

That's called foresight, baby.

Posted by: Dustin Rowles at September 22, 2008 1:13 PM

Stacy, the whole point of having a massage chair in the house is to lure guest into a false sense of security. What's really creepy though, is one of those sensory depravation chambers in their living room and seeing a small pile of chicken bones on the floor by the entrance... That's super creepy. And SEXY!

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 22, 2008 1:14 PM

What I want to know is what Lucas is doing with Garnier Nutrisse shampoo (or maybe it's conditioner? Either way) in his shower. Is it for looks? For guests? These are the questions that leep me up at night.

Posted by: Kolby at September 22, 2008 1:20 PM

"...you were allowed to write suggestions down on your thing..."

I'm with Kushiro -- this sounds like the one Secret Santa party that might actually be worth attending.

Mini-diversion: What suggestions would you write down on your thing?

Posted by: Neon at September 22, 2008 1:21 PM

Fuck. KEEP. Keep me up at night.

Dammit!

Posted by: Kolby at September 22, 2008 1:21 PM

Apparently, pregnancy makes you illiterate.

Posted by: TK at September 22, 2008 1:24 PM

Well I definitely felt lured somehow... But there was none of that nice false sense of security Skitt is describing.

Posted by: Stacey at September 22, 2008 1:26 PM

Oh, he spreads it on his body? I had to stop the video because I thought he was going to eat it. I thought he was sitting in the bathtub because then he was (obviously) going to throw it up all over the place. I have a very strong gag reflex for stuff like that, so I stopped it. Now I guess I have to finish it....

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 22, 2008 1:29 PM

....guh. Why? Why would you people lie to me?

...guh.

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 22, 2008 1:37 PM

Also making me ill, sugar free peeps. What? Why?

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at September 22, 2008 1:48 PM

So that's the recipe for those manly looks.

Posted by: JC at September 22, 2008 1:50 PM

And just like that, TK has been removed from the list of potential baby names. It's now between Skittimus Charles and Ashton Slim.

Posted by: Kolby at September 22, 2008 2:12 PM

If you name your baby Skittimus Charles, dear lady, I will eat my britches...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at September 22, 2008 2:40 PM

Really? Socalledonly Frank is not an option? Shame!

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 22, 2008 2:52 PM

The inspiration for the GODKILLER video stems from a segment on the BEST DAMN PODCAST EVER (a podcast I edit) called BATTLE. A listener was challenged to make a Crunchwrap Supreme Smoothie and drink it. I was challenged to do something even dumber, so I did.

It took about an hour to wash off and it stung the whole time it was on me. That's stung, not stunk. But yes, it also stunk/stank/stinked.

Posted by: Lucas at September 22, 2008 3:02 PM

Kolby, if Optimus isn't enough of a fine Christian Name for you, I suggest my go-to baby name, Mos Def. White people will love your baby.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 22, 2008 3:29 PM

Lucas' clip was beyond retarded.

Why the FUCK would Pajiba post something like that??

Posted by: yo-ho at September 22, 2008 3:54 PM

Speaking of names, putting Pajiba-handles into the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator seems to produce better results than regular names. And rather Murdertank-y as well: Fork Decoy Palin, Charcoal Sniper Palin . . . Tank Dent, Ammo Canal, Torpedo Vindicator, Commando Coalfire . . . and my favorite, Taupe Armageddon.

Yeah, I had some time to kill.

Posted by: Lauren at September 22, 2008 4:51 PM

He means The Jews.

Hey now!

Lauren - where can I find the baby name generator.

Stacey - I must gove credit to The Soprts Guys podcast from last week. His guest mentioned it. I thought it was wothr sharing though

Posted by: Brian at September 22, 2008 5:40 PM

You've created a new squadron of Cheat Commandos.

ROCK, ROCK ON!

Posted by: Jay at September 22, 2008 5:41 PM

You know, since moving to the country, I've been temporarily enduring dial-up, but, to dull the agony, I have been compiling a Bookmark category of videos/high-bandwidth sites I plan to check out when my fiber-o get installed next month.

Lucas's video just made the cut. I feel a shiver of anticip

pation.

Posted by: Ranylt at September 22, 2008 5:56 PM

http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html

The shorter/nickname versions of some handles also produced better results than the full names:
"socalled" is Loin Falcon Palin, and "skitt" is Still Hardrock Palin, which I read as Still Hardcock, which made me spit out my juice.

Posted by: Lauren at September 22, 2008 6:07 PM

Wait, wait, no, orange juice! Orange juice!

Posted by: Lauren at September 22, 2008 6:15 PM

Let me tell you something boys, ain't nothing like dirtying up a ladies' dress.

Posted by: Pookie at September 22, 2008 6:56 PM

ATTENTION:
Snooker Hinge Palin.

I win.

Posted by: Jaci at September 22, 2008 7:04 PM

Hey, "meaux" gives me Taupe Armageddon Palin! You're right, Lauren--much cooler than my real Palin name, Crutch Camp.

Oh, and allow me to introduce my dear husband, Sport Grunt Palin.

Heehee, endless hours of amusement. Pookie, yours has got to be one of the best so far--Churn Scorpion!

Posted by: meaux at September 22, 2008 7:11 PM

Wait, how did I not notice that before? It's Hamlet, not Hamet.

Although Hamet does sound like a very nice sandwich.

There's something wrong with me, I think.

Posted by: Jaci at September 22, 2008 7:13 PM

I've got the perfect woman for Lucas:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNvjxbssQ70

Posted by: snapnhiss at September 22, 2008 7:40 PM

No thanks.

Posted by: Lucas at September 22, 2008 7:51 PM

I dunno, Jaci . . . Plop Hero Palin, Mullet Troll Palin, and Chop Meth Palin are fairly awesome.

(Dustin=Chop Meth. Maybe that explains the positive Dane Cook review)

Posted by: Lauren at September 22, 2008 7:58 PM

i refuse on general principal to watch lucas' clip. the other posters are smarter than i am.
i also think i will have one of jaci's hamet sammiches and skip the pre-packaged ribs entirely. just pass the bottle, y'all.

Posted by: bionic bunny at September 22, 2008 8:03 PM

OK. I just finally watched the Lucas video and let me just say, Lucas, buddy:

Fuck all these people. If I had a hat, I'd tip it to you. If you're gonna make the conscious decision to do crazy shit, then I say break the chains, crash the gate and get after it full-bore.

It was gross and disturbing and yet strangely, I respect you for it.

Posted by: TK at September 22, 2008 8:48 PM

Lucas...

What. The. Fuck.

That is all.

Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at September 22, 2008 9:09 PM

These are my Palin Baby Names:
When entering just my first name:
Plank Castle Palin
First and middle:
Engine Nighthawk Palin

My brother:
Stinger Assassin Palin

My sister:
Froth Moonshine Palin

Posted by: Brian at September 24, 2008 10:41 PM

Sweet. I got WMD Cessna Palin.
I done me good.

Posted by: popejenn at September 24, 2008 11:36 PM