Pajiba

Although he Whitney interview was nothing really new, I thought she looked a lot better than she was in the past. I hope she stays clean.

Wasn't a big fan of Patrick Swayze (I hate Dirty Dancing) but I never failed to crack up at that SNL skit. I love how Swayze starts bawling near the end because he wins, but he's shocked because Farley's dancing is so "good."

Hard to believe they're both gone. RIP, Patrick.

There's a gun in that poster? Pointed at somebody? Is this like "Where's Waldo, Smith & Wesson"? I thought the MPAA had a problem because it looks like somebody either has a salami or his dick in his hand/lap. But really, I can't tell what any of that is supposed to be.

All I know is, I don't have to see the movie to know Harvey Keitel's bad lieutenant would snap Nic Cage's bad lieutenant like a pencil.

Is the new logo the proposed cover for Pajibanetics by L. Dustin Rowles?

Oh and that little girl looks perfect to me. Jesopus, they wonder why young women have such body issues.

Fuck yes Bad Lieutenant. If a magic ingredient for turning terrible Nic Cage acting into pure awesome exists, it's Werner Herzog.

"Shoot him again. His soul is still dancing."

Thanks henchman, and yeah I knew it was something in particular unrelated to Dianetics; it's just what it makes me think of...

psst, ,(TCFKAB), scroll down. the full poster is below the text.

I already wrote to my state representatives using strong yet not obscene language and essentially demanded they get their shit together and fund my fucking library system.

*ahem*

How badass is Obama? Yes, Kanye, you ARE a jackass. I should light my Late Registration CD on fire, but I'd have to find it first.

Whenever I see someone walking around drinking hootch straight from the bottle and they AREN'T at their own house, I think to myself "how impressive! He is classy! I must know this impressive classy person!"

Or I don't. Whatever.

Ok, I just have to finally say this:

I KNOW Kanye does this shit for attention. I KNOW MTV/VH1/what-or-whoever the fuck allows him to do this shit for ratings. I KNOW Taylor Swift got more attention from this than she has for anything else in her career.

But, seriously, WHY HASN'T SOMEONE PUNCHED THAT DOUCHENOZZLE FUCKTART LOLLYLICKIN' BUTTMUD SCROTESQUEEZIN' DILLHOLE IN THE FACE?

HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE

Thank you, we now return you to your regularly scheduled insanity

AW, Kballs. I kinda want to hug you right now.

Kanye West needs to drop that angry negro shit. Pathetic, pampered privileged douche acting as if the world's done him wrong.

Oh, poor Kanye. All he wants to do is give. Yes, Snuggiepants, I agree that the only thing classier than swigging straight from the bottle in public is to do so with a gal in an elegant skintight onesie that barely contains her.

No way am I clicking on that naked bicycle link. Mass nudity is already terrifying, but while straddling a bike? No thanks. We've got some end-of-term thing here in Ann Arbor called the "naked mile" where students strip naked and run through the streets, then file suits against the city for failing to protect them from being groped by anyone pervy enough to want to watch such a thing. The bright minds of the future, America!

One year on the way to work I encountered a guy who had gotten "separated from the herd," so to speak, and if you're like me and not big on coffee, then I highly recommend hiring a 250 pound naked guy encased in a see-through body stocking to run up to you at 6 am in a nearly abandoned parking garage. It's the ultimate wake-me-up. Seriously, that was 3 years ago and I still haven't slept. It's also the reason that I now carry mace.

"if you're like me and not big on coffee, then I highly recommend hiring a 250 pound naked guy encased in a see-through body stocking to run up to you at 6 am in a nearly abandoned parking garage. It's the ultimate wake-me-up.."

Probably one of the funniest things I've read here.

Did the guy try to talk to you? Ask for directions?

RIP Patrick Swayze. He's Dirt Dancing now.

Fun to see Caruso without the sunglasses and all, but sadly all the CGI magic in the world can't seem to erase the caricature from his acting. Nor *cough* those extra twenty or thirty pounds from his frame. I saw a first-season episode while home the other day and was shocked at how much thinner he looked and how much less annoying his character was.

Seriously, he and Petersen need to go talk to Mark Harmon and Gary Sinise and find out whether they've got a Portrait of Dorian Gray thing going on or what.

I can't decide whether to love or hate Lady Gaga. On the one hand, woman has a ball being batshit insane (or at least pretending to be) and doing really insane, but funny things. on the other hand, her music blows and she's desperate for the attention. But she does kind of crack me up. If only she had the talent to back up the crazy, like Bjork, I think I'd like her better.

Maybe TK will loan out some of the zombies in his basement to keep the current Pajiba staff from defecting.

It's said more and more celebrities have their profiles on a great millionaire dating site____W e a l t h y S o c i a l . C O M_______ . The best club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs...You should check it out!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Especially the fat ones.' -I just cackled like a goon.

Man, I thought my sister's experience with the flasher was creepy, but THAT story approaches near-Ionesco levels of wacky. I don't understand why people do this stuff. Embrace Shame! To run about in public like that just says: 'Ladies, do not touch me even through a nineteen-layer HAZMAT condom, because I will disappoint you in ways that not even your emotionally-distant and witholding daddy could. Call me!'

VMA Smackdown? How dare you wake me at the crack of noon with such things? Everything's an event, it seems. For instance, 'To shake your booty means to wiggle one's butt.' Permit me to not give a shit.

@replica: your modelling story reminds of something that I read about Judy Garland a long time ago. In the book THE WIZARD OF OZ, Dorothy is twelve years old. Fine. Judy Garland however, was seventeen years old when she filmed the role. So what happens? She was forced to take a horse's enema worth of diet pills, and because these people wanted to play the The Little Apothecary That Could role, there was no regard for the terrifying effects that kind of abuse could incur. So, Judy Garland was an addict for the remained of her life. She was only 47 when she OD'ed. I mean, of course she went on to harder things of her own volition, and people were just more ignorant about drugs--strength, amount etc.--but I have to wonder, what were they thinking!?!?

Don't I know all about the padding. My sisters are ten years older than me, so I always know what's coming. Of course, this padding was added their 5'6 and 5'7 frames. I'm JUST 5'0 (I know, even Toulouse-Lautrec and the Olsen twins are bigger than me. I've still besting Alexander Pope!) Absolutely healthy proportions, but kind of strange, nonetheless.

Having old sisters was fortunate for me, because my mother is one of those 'don't ask, you whore' types when it comes to...things. I remember the morning after menarche, I was drinking hot cocoa and watching ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE.

Do you want to hear the best 'birds and the bees' lesson ever? Yes, yessity-yes!

'You can get pregnant now, so watch your back and don't be a dumb slut.'

How do you respond?

'Um, I have to go to grade seven.'

No, I'm not making that up. What would I have to gain? I guessed it worked. But now I think I'm coming down with a case of greensickness. The furor of her words have vested lunacy in me. It's all her fault! I can blame her for everything! I feel a tantrum coming, oh why won't SOMEBODY do something about the amount of candy that I eat?

@Replica
Ugh. Modeling is evil.
I was 17 in Miami (originally from NZ) by myself. 5'9" & 56kgs - sorry people who use other systems - and my agent kindly suggested I consider a cocaine diet, to lose all that 'extra' weight.
No girlchild of mine is going near modeling.

@Lindsey: I concur. Granted, if I ever do have children it isn't going to be now or even soon: Too young, no desire. I had a gap year between university and graduate school, and I spent big 'ol swaths of time babysitting my then one-year-old nephew three years ago.

Woof.

If anyone were to put the mad flavour in this womb, sure my mother would rip my arms off and beat me with them. That'd still be a lot easier to handle than baby-rearing. They don't stop. I remember it was almost Christmas, and I came back from a job that I could only describe as 'Pazuzu's Own'. This was when I still lived with my mother, so I wasn't alone with the baby. I flopped on the couch, and fell asleep without even taking of my uniform. And then I felt something warm, something yellow. The baby was peeing on my foot! I woke up, asked what he was doing, and he jumped up and down, pointing and laughing. Kid was peeing on my foot!

I'm glad he's calming down, for a while he was as unhinged as his aunt.