Pajiba

First!!! Yeah a first, first

I think you meant boo stupid first post.

That Amazon link cracked me up; especially the J&K+8 crap.

As for "Vampire Diaries", I just can't I can watch True Blood with pride, but this crap? Oh, and look at the fascinating new plot: Vampire male falls for human female. What? Crazy! Where do they get these fresh ideas?!?

::loads gun::

I thought we didn't do First! here. Dammit, I'm leaving now.

Kanye is talented.

But he is also a fucktard, so I agree with you 50% Case.

Paddy, that one was my favorite too. Although I would have gone with an industrial ceiling fan. Just to be sure it didn't break.

Sometimes I'm glad for internet anonymity. Becuase if I ever ran into that dude from the Mix Tape Therapy post, I'd punch him square in his egotistical, deluded, buttmud covered baby dick. Then I would be in jail fighting with dudes named Tiny and Firehose over who's turn it was to spend the night with the picture of Spender. What a fucking dick!

In a different, better world...

At that exact moment in the header shot? When Kanye grabs for the mike? Taylor would've raised the award above her head, and swung down with every ounce of strength she could muster, driving that fucking Moonman into his ridiculously shaven skull.

The crowd would've go absolutely bloodthirsty, tearing him apart limb from limb. While Kanye screamed in all caps, Beyonce would take to the stage where Miss Swift and Sasha Fierce would make out topless for the remainder of the show while Radiohead and NIN joined Gwar for an interpretive Michael Jackson tribute...

In a different, better world...

I tried to introduce my dog to the fun world of slides. She jumped off halfway down.

Mental Note: Georgia hates tits.

Mental Note Note: Kanye is a racist alcoholic. Don't piss him off. Wait . . .

Mental Note Note Note: Beyonce might not be such a huge bitch after bringing Taylor back on stage.

Mental Note Note Note Note: Arrange for Baytard to eat Foxtwat, then die quickly from the resulting 17 venereal diseases.

Nap.

Wow Yossarian. I didn't think anyone would actually defend such boorish douchebaggery, but apparently you have.

Here's the thing: even if Taylor Swift's video was an ACTUAL pile of dog shit and Beyonce's video was so amazing that when you watched it, all your body hair stopped growing forever, it was STILL complete fuckery for him to go up on stage, grab the mike from her, and start boo-hooing about it.

FIVE YEAR OLDS know better than to do shit like that. Seriously. He doesn't have the social skills of a fucking kindergartner.

However, afterwards, when he was being interviewed for not winning again or whatever, he could have railed all he wanted, long and loud and hard about the EXTREME INJUSTICE O MERCIFUL GOD WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? and it still would have been semi-jerky, but it wouldn't have come near the level of assholery, pure twatwafflery that this act did.

He's outdone himself. She's a 17 year old kid, up there for five hot seconds thanking MTV for giving her the award, before some overgrown baby literally snatches the mike out of her hand and nearly makes her cry.

And you think that makes him a hero or something. Awesome.

Come on, people! MTV is the real villain here with their bogus award show.

But see, that is what makes his tantrum so pointless. Since when has MTV ever done shit right? It is a music video award from a channel that doesn't even show music videos anymore!

I mean I can understand if it was maybe the Grammys, something that still stubbornly hold some sort of credibility. But fucking MTV? He gave them more credit than they were worth.

So no, he isn't a hero. He is the douche who made the little white girl sad (again, breaking Rule #1) in front of an audience of little white girls. How he could have thought his bullshit would be taken even remotely serious at that particular show is indicative of how out of touch he is.

Mmm hm. So, that quote from Movieguide has nothing to do with that movie, by the way, but is from a book review of a biography of Darwin. I'm just saying.

So, that guy from the Mix-Tape site. I just want to beat him to death with a bag of frozen bread. I want his death to be swift and cold. Oh, so cold.

That article was terrible and not worth an ounce of your concern. It's hack journalism and fear mongering designed only to get people to link to it in outrage and flame-war in the comments section.

I must conclude that this is true.

That is downright embarrassing, Lindsey.

Fans of MTV voted for this. Fans of MTV. Kanye is railing against fans of MTV.
He gets wasted at pointless award shows and makes a testicle of himself, forgets the words to his own DOPE RAPS on national television, and blogs like drunk people fuck: loud and aimlessly. I'm more tired of this guy than Heigel and Fox combined. What a sad, lonely, pathetic little man he is.

Hey, I think we can use a little outrage over wanton stupidity. And I thought this site was all about outrage related links. More specifically, Pajiba Love is about outrageous links.

I've tried ignoring things that aren't worth the attention, I think we all have, and you know what it got us?

Reality TV, That's what!

Except SYTYCD, that's awesome.

The only problem is that whoever wrote that article is displaying the wanton stupidity (or, the manipulation of facts coupled with complete lack of journalistic pride or ethics).

A movie about evolution failed to secure a distributor so far. That's it. Everything else is a huge leap off a short pier. The guy quotes fundy websites as if they are a source (his only source). It's rubbish. If Bill Maher can secure a distributor for his garbage & Ben Stein can secure one for his intellectually dishonest trash then the only thing you can conclude about this movie is that it needs a big name attached to get big money. Whatever position it takes on a controversial idea is a non-factor. In fact, controversy sells (see West, Kanye) and would encourage someone to pick this up if only for the free press.

Lindsey with an 'e':
Tap dancing is unexpectedly sah-weet this year. "I hear music!"

Unrelated: Hey, Canadia? Got any room for me? How 'bout a job?

I have a BIG spare bedroom and I hear StabbyMart is looking for managerial staff.....

Kballs, please don't tell me I have to start hating tits just because I live in Georgia. Please?

On the Darwin movie: the Brit producer is just trying to stir things up at this point. He can't get his movie sold, so let's blame it on religion in the US. Everything that can make money in the US will find a distributor. It's pretty obvious no one thinks this will make money, and they're probably right. So it goes straight to DVD. Quit whining, bitch.

I have a friend in his 40's who has been trying to have a baby for pretty much his whole life. He has incredibly high standards and incredibly bad luck, attaching himself time and time again to women who don't want children. And its all about passing on his genes so adoption is a no go. So he is pretty thorough about the issue before he gets too far in a relationship, but it is absolutely a deal breaker. Still I don't think he would require a fertility test before gettin' hitched. So I can at least see Mix Tape Therapy Guy's side of the story. He is still a jerk but he's managed to get himself into a terrible situation and I kind of feel for him a little bit.

I am shocked and dismayed that the hoards of Pajibites couldn't sense Yossarian's sarcasm. As if anyone who felt that way could be among Pajiba's readership (despite what certain polls might suggest, that level of douchebaggery is too low).

Oh right, my thong got in such a twist over Kanye that it wrapped around my brain and strangled out the other comment I was going to make. I sincerely, SINCERELY hope that the atheist pet care organization is not a joke, because that would be one of the most brilliant entrepreneurial ideas ever. And kind of oddly sweet as well. As a Catholic and an animal lover, the thought is a little touching. I have a few thoughts, though.

1. My doggies are sweet, so they would be going to Heaven with me.
2. My cats are evil assholes, so they'll probably be fine on their own. Except maybe for Kali, she's a sweet girl so she might need some love. Actually, she might come with me and the dogs.
3. My husband is an atheist, so he can care for them for free. Unless of course he has the literal Come To Jesus meeting before the Apocalypse. Then our three male cats will be out of luck.

'36% don't have an opinion either way.'

Sorry, but I don't find this comforting at all.

And don't even get me STARTED on Ben Stein.
I used to love him, for all of his quirky acting (Bueller, Bueller, Bueller) and his awesome game show 'Win Ben Stein's Money' (Suck it Alex Trebek, Stein went head to head with the contestants and usually won, and he didn't have the little card with the answers in the final round!)
And then he had to go all douche bag religious nut job on us. Shame on you Sir, I say Shame! Go to your little meetings of the "The World is FLAT" club and leave the rest of us alone.

Hey, Hey, Hey religious nut-jobs! Oops, I mean "true believers" Have I got a deal for you!

For only $1000, cash, small bills, in advance, you could be a Seraphim Club Member! Not only will I feed and water and snuggle your pets after Jesus had called y'all home in the Rapture, but I will keep you irritating religious chain emails endlessly circulating.

For an additional $2000, you could be a Dominions Club Member! As an additional benefit I will raise public objections to any children's book that has any scientific fact, or fictious reference to witches or sorcery.

And for the bargain price of ONLY $10,000 you could be an Archangel Club Member! The highest order of angels! This exclusive membership includes all previously stated services and in addition I will picket the funerals of deceased homosexuals with offensive signs, and spit on their weeping mourners.

Since I am a godless heathen, I should be around for a good long while, so join the Angel Club today, first come first serve! Supplies limited! Void except where it's not.

AvB: You would be my best-est friend for ever, and could sit next to me at lunch EVERY DAY if you find me a link to full episodes of SYTYCD. I work until 9-10 PM 6 days a week and I have a bitch of a time getting home on Wednesdays to catch the show. Forget Thursdays, NEVER happens.

am i really the only person who thinks that slide is awesome? little frictionless rollers are much better than burning your ass on hot metal or plastic slides. and getting that weird static burning from plastic... ::shudders::

AVB, do not listen to Admin. Saskatchewan will kill you. It's as cold and flat as the devils' tit.

Vancouver, on the other hand, is warm and . . . wet, like a . . . . oh dear. Um . . . . okay, yes, we're Canada's vagina! BUT IT"S AWESOME!

AVB, do not listen to Admin. Saskatchewan will kill you. It's as cold and flat as the devils' tit.

Yes. But you will be able to see the zombie/albino invasion coming five days before it gets to you. No sneaking up on us you undead bitches. You neither zombies.

And more bad news...

According to the Catholic teaching on this subject dogs do not go to heaven.

YOU'RE ALL NOT LISTENING TO ME! ! !

i want a japanese sliding dog.

Superior transportation system though. Spot on.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 14, 2009 4:52 PM
-------------------------------------------------
This is sarcasm, yes?

On the old system: my house - mom's house = 1 bus
The new system instated this fall: my house - mom's house = 4 buses/trains

Pray tell, where do you live that our shit transit system impressed you so? I'm genuinely curious.

69!! (Oh and 70th..but that's less entertaining.)

Catholicism is the best of the religions.

As an alter boy I got to drink jugs of wine. And it was even encouraged by my priests ...

(hold on ... fighting off repressed memories ... fighting of repressed memories ...)

and when I was a teenager at an all boys school ... (repressing, repressing) ... dating a girl from the nearby all-girls school and I wanted to get down with chicks, I was all, "Hey babe, I don't like to use rubbers", and she's all, "but I don't want to get preggers", then I could be all, "yah, but contraceptives are against our religion". And then we would compromise and I would get a BJ sans condom. Sweet.

I'm sure it makes me a horrible person that I DON'T CARE.

It was the VMA's, which are a joke since MTV doesn't even show videos any more. Who votes for the video awards? Maybe these people didn't know where to find the videos since you can't see them on TV.

And never mind the fine mist of "publicity stunt" wafting through the air. Didn't Eminem almost eat Sascha's ass at the last awards show these jackasses put on and it ended up being fake?

And why did I hear the same Kanye song being played almost simultaneously on THREE stations this morning on my way to work? Hmmmm? Could it be...Satan? Or more MTV bullshit? And perhaps if I had bothered to check the country stations I would have heard Taylor Swift's song being played the same way.

I just think we're being fucked with again. Over the stupid VMA's. By stupid MTV. And it annoys me. And it's Monday. And I hate everyone. Sorry. Move along now. Move along.

You know what made my day?
The fact that both TK and admin seem to have commented on the Mix Tape Therapy site and not in any wise ass way. They're just plainly giving good advice to a confused human being, full of humility and good intentions.
Now, even if Kanye and Taylor don't follow my advice and don't get together over a nice piece of Stockholm syndrome pie, I'll still know there is love out there.

I hope figgy considers Agente Provocatrice's comment for the EE. I laughed so loud I startled my poor cat.

PaddyDog, have I ever told you how much I love you? Not many people know that the Rapture is a complete fabrication by the Evangelicals and that Catholics do not believe in it. Most assume that the Rapture is a belief held by all Christians. Believe you me, I've been told by many an Evangelical that I am going to hell because I apparently worship both the Pope and the Virgin Mary. News to me.

Another thing that not many people know...the Catholic church officially supports the theory of evolution.

Ben Stein makes me cry. He's so damned smart, how can he believe creationism? It's a complete insult to his intelligence and probably his faith too.

That's pretty much it. But, I think the best way to understand the position of the Church on the theory of evolution is to read speeches by the pope and cardinals regarding the Church's position. Since that Wikipedia article is actually written correctly, it is a bit sanitized. It misses the theology that is cited by Church speakers in addresses at scientific forums. Everything I've read from the horse's mouth has expressed support for the scientific community.

Still, most people don't know offhand that there is a large segment of the Christian community that supports scientific discovery as it relates to evolution.

Lindsey with an 'e' everything is now illuminated. I also apologize for the rant it was fueled by 6 years of riding public transportation. I understand where there was a misunderstanding, most of my bile is due to their lack of improvements and with the total apathy by the employees/management to complaints. (Example: they want to take out an express bus from a suburban neighbourhood and replace it with an expensive light-rail system that would take 10 minutes longer to get to its destination) Basically they haven't upgraded the system to accommodate urban sprawl and a population boom. If you enjoyed the skytrains last time, there's now a new line (well, two if you include the Olympics generated one from the airport); sadly the only silver lining to this cloud. As for perspective, I now study in an ex-eastern block country that is a zillion times poorer (and government taxes are nowhere near Canada's) yet the buses and trains are evenly distributed and come every couple of minutes. Can't really comment on the US systems as I've been to Seattle and Portland only.

And sympathies on your ex making you ride public transport on your honeymoon.

Lindsey, please be my friend. For I am also a godless heathen who loves SYTYCD. Heck, I'll even hang onto my DVDs of the show and pass them on to you if need be, if only for your post-rapture business ideas.

I've heard a few interesting, scientifically reasoned ideas against the theory of evolution, so I've got no problem with people who have doubts--it's the loons who believe in the Bible literally and won't for one second consider using their brains or examining some basic facts that make me nuts.

Anyone nowadays can make up their own bullshit statistics and people will believe it anyway. I have to drive by a billboard to work every day that says "90% of women who have abortions say they were wrong!" Really, 90%? Remarkable. I'd like to know whose ass they pulled that number out of. Jon Stewart's done some interesting bits about statistics too.

And Kyle from the Mixed Tape site? It's been said already, but I have to add my voice to those calling you an asshole. Holy hell, are you an asshole. Do the species a favor and never, ever reproduce. I'm afraid that whatever genes contribute to making you a reprehensible dick of the first order might get passed on.

DeadBessie is now my friend.
Anonymous people on the internet like me, they really like me!
Yea!

Now if only that happened in real life...

"Bruce Campbell is going to have a major role in the fourth Spider Man installment."

Uhm, no. More exactly, "Bruce Campbell talked to Access Hollywood recently about his potential involvement" -- that's a difference.