free counter with statistics Pajiba Love 09/13/07 | Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People

mr_mom.jpg

Pajiba Love

I’ll see your vacuuming and raise you fellatio. Why exchanging sex for housework is every bit a staple of healthy, normal relationships. (Feministing)

Suck it, Borders! John Williams writes about one of his favorite small town bookstores. (Maud Newton)

Did somebody say “OW?” Well, gather ‘round kiddies — it’s Castration Story Thursday! (QuizLaw)

Take a glimpse into the sad, sad existence of Brad Pitt. (Yeeeah!)

Bill O’Reilly gets his ass handed to him by Keith Olberman. Though sadly, no fisticuffs were involved. (Liberal Avenger)

Since the last “Winston the Cat” link I posted got such an overwhelmingly positive response — here’s another for you. (FourFour)

Who knew that a voice-activated ice cream dispenser would be my eventual undoing? (Agent Bedhead)

Mythbusters: “What Hollywood Thinks Computers Can Do” edition. (Cracked)

When I saw the headline that a former “Top Chef” contestant was beaten up, I said to myself — “What on Earth did Stupid Marcel do now?” (Celebitchy)

Okay, so I saw today’s clip a few weeks back and totally forgot about it, so hopefully you haven’t seen it yet — “The Simpsons” ala Star Wars.

Pajiba Love | September 13, 2007 | Comments (28)


← It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia | Across the Great Divide: The Band and America by Barney Hoskyns →



Comments

That...thing is not a cat. It must be some kind of mutant.

Seriously, I've never seen such an ugly feline in my life. Is it some fugly breed I've never heard of that's supposed to have a head that shape? I feel sorry for it.

Posted by: Jerce at September 13, 2007 4:01 PM

I'll see your vacuuming and raise you fellatio. Why exchanging sex for housework is every bit a staple of healthy, normal relationships.

Hmmm, I see where the next Afternoon Comment Diversion should come from. For my entry: One time I personally threw away a pound of ground beef I had left in the microwave for five days, which had (a) festered into a mound of blackened, disgusting, maggotty offal and (b) caused us to spend three days playing "find the smell." I'm such a good guy that, after donning my hazmat suit, I disposed of the offending material, as well as the now-useless-as-anything-but-a-fly-hotel microwave, while my wife waited on the front porch puffing a Dunhill and downing a gin gimlet.

As my sexual reward, Mrs. socalled refrained from cock-punching me into next year. So, the erotic trade was, I can still have sex now. And one day, I'm sure I will.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at September 13, 2007 4:16 PM

(b) caused us to spend three days playing "find the smell."

Lord, I hate that game.

Posted by: twig at September 13, 2007 4:25 PM

socalled- Your wife is feisty, loves gin, AND smokes Dunhills?

AND you're crappy at housework?

Wait. Am I your wife?

Posted by: Alabamapink at September 13, 2007 4:30 PM

Timely! For the past week, every time I walk through a particular place in my condo, I step through a weird, pepperoni/garlic-esque waft. IT'S DRIVING ME NUTTERS.

WTF? I'm one off from a certified neat-freak, so there's no rhyme or reason.

The upside? We're moving house in two weeks, so if the smell still isn't "found", fuck it anyhow. A wee tolken for Mr. New Owner.

Posted by: Ranylt at September 13, 2007 4:32 PM

How the hell did you manage to leave meat in the microwave for five days? That's a feat in itself.

When I was a sophomore in college, my roommate left an opened carton of milk in our mini-fridge over Spring Break during an especially balmy week in April. Which, would have been fine... If the dorm rules weren't to UNPLUG EVERYTHING in your dorm room before leaving for extended breaks.

Let me tell you, our entire floor was playing "find the smell."

Posted by: litelysalted at September 13, 2007 4:36 PM

twig: It's worse when you have two large and unconcerned-with-cleanliness dogs. We play that game a lot. "Oh, look, a squirrel tail under the sofa . . . WTF? I bet he didn't give that up without a fight."

'bama: I'd love to believe so, but she reads the comments occasionally and teases me about flirting with the Pajibans -- my comment about Alex's blog pic was met with a derisive "harrumph," so I'm pretty sure it's not you . . . but I'll keep an optimistic frame of mind on it.

Ranylt: I'm sure that was in your disclosures: "vague pepperoni/garlic smell; source unknown." Anyway, check under the microwave.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at September 13, 2007 4:42 PM

When we were younger, my sister went off to college after leaving a piece of cake on her desk. While she had been packing, she'd knocked said piece of cake off the desk, and it fell between the desk and the wall.

We found it one month later. It was like something out of a nightmare. I almost ran away from home after seeing it.

psst - it's "Feministing". sorry to be that guy.

Posted by: TK at September 13, 2007 4:50 PM

cat videos?!! Are you shitting me?

I never want to see this happen again. EVER.

Posted by: Finn at September 13, 2007 4:52 PM

My fave "find the smell" story was also in college. My roommate brought some Indian food and tossed the remains in our trashcan. The room positively REEKED for 2 days, and I had no idea what was causing it, because the smell was only near the door, not the whole room.
When I located the trashcan (and it's rotting contents), I almost heaved from the mixture of bad saffron, cayenne pepper, and rancid beef. I did the only thing I could: I threw it away in the trash on the dorm floor. The whole floor smelled like it w/in hours, but my room was finally clear.

Posted by: Brie at September 13, 2007 5:19 PM

have you seen this: I have said that Mexico does not stop at its border, that wherever there is a Mexican, there is Mexico. And, for this reason, the government action on behalf of our countrymen is guided by principles, for the defense and protection of their rights - Mexican President Felipe Calderon

Posted by: Louis at September 13, 2007 5:32 PM

Winston is adorably fugly! As long as he's not featured in the website's banner, I'm okay with the occasional video being posted here.

Jerce, Winston is a persian cat (I'm pretty sure he is, at least). They come in many colours and lengths of hair, but they all have that bizarre face shape.

Posted by: Lisa at September 13, 2007 6:03 PM

socalled: I didn't even have to scroll down to the signature to know that was you.

And you're right: A pound of hamburger abandoned/hidden for five days?! Mrs. S. is a far more forgiving woman than I am.

Lisa: I've seen plenty of Persians--and yes, their faces are pitifully ugly--but I've never seen a non-deformed cat as ugly as Winston.

Louis: Nobody here cares; but I invite you to join the highly intellectual discourse that goes on here on a daily basis. You'll feel right at home.

Posted by: Jerce at September 13, 2007 6:41 PM

I've seen plenty of Persians--and yes, their faces are pitifully ugly--but I've never seen a non-deformed cat as ugly as Winston.

Hee! I love kitties to death, but Persians have always inspired me with Meh. I once lived with a woman with a nasty-ass orange and white Persian with that signature developmentally-delayed meow; to make matters worse (or more ripe for mockery), the cat's name was Boo and my friend frequently referred to him as The National Treasure of Canada. She also shaved him from time to time, leaving just his mane and tail-sprout intact.

Infected corn lost in a bileous stream--every time.

Winston is LEAGUES cooler than Boo, somehow.

Posted by: Ranylt at September 13, 2007 6:54 PM

I just played find the smell as I was reading this. However, it was only a half-eaten banana that I had stolen from the dining hall and then thrown out (way too green) this morning.

My horror story about college things left in garbage cans is probably too disgusting to mention in public places (the internet counts as a public place, right? :P), so I'll just end my comment there.

Posted by: Gabi at September 13, 2007 7:33 PM

There, TK. I fixed it. Are you happy now? Huh? Well?

Posted by: litelysalted at September 13, 2007 7:34 PM

Awww, I work at Borders. It's actually pretty awesome.

Posted by: Laura at September 13, 2007 7:35 PM

Geez. So sensitive. I was just trying to class the place up a little.

Posted by: TK at September 13, 2007 11:18 PM

Funny how everyone's find the smell game involved their college roommate. I luckily never had to since I always knew exactly where the smell was coming from. My roommate had a tendency to buy Chinese food and store it in her fridge as leftovers for four days after, about three times every month. The smell would never leave, and every single time she opened her fridge the odor would just about push me out of the room. I was always just glad that she had to use the microwave downstairs, because that much rank in one room? Yeugh.

Posted by: McGeek at September 14, 2007 12:27 AM

Everyone is stuck on the 'find the smell' game--which is great fun and all--but there is a voice activated ice cream dispenser. ICE CREAM! Those crazy scientists have finally invented something useful.

Posted by: Girl with Curious Hair at September 14, 2007 2:08 AM

I think Winston is incredibly cute, but I have a soft spot for Persians. I love their squished in faces and super-fluffiness (most are fluffier than Winston). My Persian, Wallis Fatty-Pants, doesn't have a strange meow, so I'm not sure that is the standard with all of them.

Posted by: canology at September 14, 2007 3:54 AM

Wait a second... I'm supposed to be getting blowjobs? Is this retroactive? Do they have to be from my wife?

Posted by: jvon at September 14, 2007 4:40 AM

not to quibble too much, but I'm pretty sure Winston is an Exotic... which is exactly the same as a Persian, but without the hair. And I only know that because I got bored at work one day and spent the afternoon perusing the Cat Associations website, looking at all the different breeds.

That said, Winnie sounds eerily like my own cat, only louder. I laughed so hard at that video. Dear god I hope my cat doesn't end up sounding like that when she gets older!

Posted by: Liz at September 14, 2007 10:20 AM

Winston the Cat = Face of Evil (after it ran really fast at a particularly sturdy brick wall)

And yes Girl With Curious Hair (how the hell do I shorten that incidentally? GWCH just looks weird) we are indeed focusing on the wrong thing. I just love the detail that the sadder you are the more icecream you get - which is one hell of a concept in my opinion.

I'm so glad that scientists no longer waste their time on pointless things such as curing disease.

No, seriously.

Posted by: Alex the Odd at September 14, 2007 11:12 AM

Wonder if "my college roommate" is a stand-in for "me." If somebody flaked out and left something gross sitting out, I'm generally the offender. There - at least I admitted it!

Posted by: Samantha T at September 14, 2007 12:02 PM

"I'll see you your vacuuming and raise you fellatio"
Why is it for the past 24 hours I've been walking around with scenes from Hamlet in my head?

Posted by: PaddyDog at September 14, 2007 1:37 PM

My "Find the Smell" story involves a college dorm, a month long Christmas break, and a snake that decided to drown itself in it's water dish. Seriously, these girls left their ball python at school over winter break (after being assured that the snake would "hibernate" and be fine as long as they fed it right before they left and put a bowl of water out for him) and the snaked drowned it's idiot self in the water dish probably a week after we all left. Our floor was incredibly nasty when we got back. That was an experience when I wish I had that voice activated ice cream dispenser.

As for the sex/housework trade, no way I'm participating in an exchange like that to get my hypothetical future husband to clean up his own damn house. You've got to be shitting me.

Posted by: Genny at September 14, 2007 3:02 PM

My grandmother would always try to make me finish everything on my plate- even when I hated whatever was placed there. I would take off my socks and cram the said food into them and then stow them away behind the frige and go play with a smile on my face.

I think my food-filled socks might still be there.

Posted by: Agent Scully at September 14, 2007 3:32 PM